Mc Donalds Job Application\n\nThis is an actual job application a 17 year old boy\nsubmitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in\nFlorida...and they hired him because he was so honest and\nfunny!\n\nNAME: Greg Bulmash\n\nSEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.\n\nDESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President.\nBut seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a\nposition to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the\nfirst place.\n\nDESIRED SALARY: 5,000 a year plus stock options and a\nMichael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not\npossible, make an offer and we can haggle.\n\nEDUCATION: Yes.\n\nLAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management\nhostility.\n\nSALARY: Less than I'm worth.\n\nMOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of\nstolen pens and post-it notes.\n\nREASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.\n\nHOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.\n\n\n\nPREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and\nThursday.\n\nDO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better\nsuited to a more intimate environment.\n\nMAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would\nI be here?\n\nDO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT\nYOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?\n\nDO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question\nhere would be "Do you have a car that runs?"\n\nHAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I\nmay already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house\nSweepstakes.\n\nDO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.\n\nWHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in\nthe Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde\nsuper model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced\nbread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.\n\nDO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE\nBEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.\n\nSIGN HERE: Aries.