what ever happened to eddie

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by harryph, May 30, 2004.

  1. harryph

    harryph Guest

    Mc Donalds Job Application

    This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy
    submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in
    Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and
    funny!

    NAME: Greg Bulmash

    SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

    DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President.
    But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a
    position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the
    first place.

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a
    Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not
    possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management
    hostility.

    SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of
    stolen pens and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.



    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and
    Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better
    suited to a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would
    I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT
    YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question
    here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I
    may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house
    Sweepstakes.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in
    the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde
    super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced
    bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE
    BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

    SIGN HERE: Aries.
     
    harryph, May 30, 2004
    #1
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  2. In the unlikely event this is true, god help us all.......

    Kline Sphere (Chalk) MCNGP #3
     
    The Poster Formerly Known as Kline Sphere, May 30, 2004
    #2
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  3. harryph

    Neil Guest

    <regretably snipped>

    I've seen this before and I still think it is one of the best job app
    I've ever read...

    ;)
     
    Neil, May 30, 2004
    #3
  4. harryph

    Neil Guest

    why? if everyone was this honest, we wouldn't have to fight the
    braindumping cheaters <grin>

    (and I would get a giggle to boot)
     
    Neil, May 30, 2004
    #4
  5. Larry Samuels, May 30, 2004
    #5
  6. harryph

    Neil Guest

    Neil, May 30, 2004
    #6
  7. The way it happened is almost as funny as the myth <G>

    Larry
     
    Larry Samuels, May 30, 2004
    #7
  8. harryph

    Neil Guest

    and noteably missing was this lovely gem that appeared in the original:

    HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat?
    Because if it is... no.
     
    Neil, May 31, 2004
    #8
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