[waaay OT] second try

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by JaR, Mar 2, 2004.

  1. JaR

    JaR Guest

    MS modded the first one. See if a couple of changes let this one get thru;

    Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to
    people who call in to her radio show. Recently she said that
    homosexuality is an abomination according to Lev*****us 18:22,
    and cannot be condoned under any circumstances. The
    following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which
    was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative.

    Dear Dr. Laura:

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
    learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with
    as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
    lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Le*****us 18:22 clearly
    states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

    I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
    specific laws and how to follow them.

    1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
    pleasing odor for the Lord -- Le*. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
    claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exo***
    21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for

    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
    period of menstrual uncleanliness -- Le*. 15:19-24. The problem is, how do
    I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

    4. Le*. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
    female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of
    mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
    clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exo*** 35:2
    clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
    him myself?

    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
    abomination -- Le*. 11:10-- it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
    I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    7. Le*. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
    defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
    vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
    around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Le*.
    19:27. How should they die?

    9. I know from Le*. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
    unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Le*. 19:19 by planting two different
    crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
    different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
    and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble
    of getting the whole town together to stone them? -- Le*.24:10-16.
    Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do
    with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Le*. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
    can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and

    Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
    JaR, Mar 2, 2004
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  2. JaR

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    MS modded the first one. See if a couple of changes let this one get thru;
    Hmmm. I can see the first one. Maybe your computer isn't a Christian
    Ken Briscoe, Mar 2, 2004
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  3. JaR

    Brat Guest

    the other one got thru for me... :p
    Brat, Mar 2, 2004
  4. JaR

    Jtyc Guest

    MS modded the first one. See if a couple of changes let this one get thru;

    I didn't know you were Jewish.
    Jtyc, Mar 2, 2004
  5. JaR

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    Deja vu. Creepy.
    Ken Briscoe, Mar 2, 2004
  6. JaR

    Jtyc Guest

    Deja vu. Creepy.

    I felt obligated.
    Jtyc, Mar 2, 2004
  7. JaR

    JaR Guest

    Ken Briscoe opined, On 3/2/04 1:07 PM:

    I can see the second one, but not the first! I even checked both servers
    msnews.microsoft.com & news.microsoft.com.

    Bemused Thug
    JaR, Mar 2, 2004
  8. JaR

    Dragon Guest

    Cause u r 2 quik of a Brat! :)

    Dragon, Mar 2, 2004
  9. JaR

    Kendal Emery Guest

    Saw the second, not the first.....

    But as a gay friend of mine always says.... "I'll take the sausage out of
    my mouth, when you take the sausage out of yours"
    Kendal Emery, Mar 2, 2004
  10. JaR

    Consultant Guest

    you know what, punch him in the jaw

    Consultant, Mar 2, 2004
  11. JaR

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    you know what, punch him in the jaw
    well it's a good thing you're not an angry homophobe, then.
    Ken Briscoe, Mar 2, 2004
  12. JaR

    Uncle Stewie Guest

    There has to be a way to keep the braindumpers out of this newsgroup...

    So now you got me going... Here are a fitting set of IT Commandments:

    1.. "Thou shalt have no other Forest Roots before me."
    2.. "Thou shalt not download any graven images, or any likeness of any thing that resembles pornography, or shared music onto my network."
    3.. "Thou shalt not take the name of Bill Gates in vain"
    4.. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Run Full Backups of your System State Weekly."
    5.. "Honour thy Network Administrator and thy Technical Resource Manager."
    6.. "Thou shalt not kill (a process running on any of my servers)."
    7.. "Thou shalt not commit adultery (keep your hands off the interns...)."
    8.. "Thou shalt not steal (Corporate software for personal use)."
    9.. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy network support personnel (they hate when you say everything was working until he touched my machine)."
    10.. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's computer, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's jpegs of his wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. (Gee Wiz why does Dave have an Oxen... Pervert!) "
    Uncle Stewie, Mar 2, 2004
  13. JaR

    JaR Guest

    Uncle Stewie opined, On 3/2/04 3:53 PM:

    That one's going up on the wall!

    JaR, Mar 3, 2004
  14. JaR

    JaR Guest

    Kendal Emery opined, On 3/2/04 2:07 PM:
    I'll admit that the concept of two people with sausages hanging out
    their yaps is disgusting, but what exactly is it supposed to mean?

    Queasy Thug
    JaR, Mar 3, 2004
  15. JaR

    Consultant Guest


    Consultant, Mar 3, 2004
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