Found on U.F. [URL]http://www.userfriendly.org/static/[/URL]\n\n'scuse me, I think I need to get some new stones. <EG>\n\n\nDr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to\npeople who call in to her radio show. Recently she said that\nhomosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22,\nand cannot be condoned under any circumstances. The\nfollowing is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which\nwas posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative.\n\nDear Dr. Laura:\n\nThank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have\nlearned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with\nas many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual\nlifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly\nstates it to be an abomination. End of debate.\n\nI do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other\nspecific laws and how to follow them.\n\n1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a\npleasing odor for the Lord -\- Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They\nclaim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?\n\n2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus\n21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for\nher?\n\n3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her\nperiod of menstrual uncleanliness -\- Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is, how do\nI tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.\n\n4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and\nfemale, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of\nmine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you\nclarify? Why can't I own Canadians?\n\n5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2\nclearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill\nhim myself?\n\n6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an\nabomination -\- Lev. 11:10-\- it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.\nI don't agree. Can you settle this?\n\n7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a\ndefect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my\nvision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?\n\n8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair\naround their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.\n19:27. How should they die?\n\n9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me\nunclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?\n\n10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different\ncrops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two\ndifferent kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse\nand blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble\nof getting the whole town together to stone them? -\- Lev.24:10-16.\nCouldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do\nwith people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)\n\nI know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you\ncan help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and\nunchanging.\n\nYour devoted disciple and adoring fan.