This is funny, I promise!

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Cohiba, Mar 17, 2007.

  1. Cohiba

    Cohiba Guest

    Cohiba, Mar 17, 2007
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  2. Cohiba

    Old Gringo Guest

    Old Gringo, Mar 17, 2007
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  3. Cohiba

    philo Guest

    Yes it was funnier than hell.

    BTW: My gf's daughter came up with a good one too...a telemarketer called
    offering some kind of a phone
    plan. She merely told them "But we don't have a phone." Then hung up.
    philo, Mar 17, 2007
  4. Cohiba

    Frosty Guest

    Ummmmmm! Cohiba's.....
    Frosty, Mar 17, 2007
  5. Cohiba

    Old Gringo Guest

    That is funny, I have a Vtech cordless with TeleZapper on it and it
    does a pretty good job of taking care of telemarketers. When a
    telemarketer calls the phone sends a signal that the line has been
    disconnected and removes my number from their computer, and then
    hangs up on them. The same thing happens if I should answer the
    phone when a telemarketer calls. Of course if they get wise and dial
    the number by hand, then I am SOL. But the phone Co. also screens my
    calls and no unidentified callers are let through. I don't have a
    clue as to how it works but it dose the job. <g>
    Old Gringo, Mar 17, 2007
  6. Cohiba

    philo Guest

    I think I need something like that...
    though I'm pretty good with saying "No thanks"
    as I slam the phone down...
    A guy selling those 5 year lightbulbs was too quick for me ...
    but I told him the ones I bought from him the last time are still working
    so I don't ned any more...
    then hung up :)
    philo, Mar 17, 2007
  7. Cohiba

    Vanguard Guest

    Good one. The similar prank I heard was the telemarketer calls and
    during the call the answerer keeps pulling the phone away and yelling
    instructions to others to make sure the body gets wrapped up in the
    plastic tarp, comes back to the phone, then yells out more instructions
    to use hydrogen peroxide on the blood stains even in the grout along
    with bleach, comes back to the call, yells out louder to tell the others
    not to haul the plastic wrapped body outside but instead to bring in the
    trash bin and putting the body in it so no one sees what they're
    carrying out, comes back to the call, yells out to remind them to line
    the trunk with a plastic drop sheet before putting the body, and so it
    goes until the answerer finally tells the marketer that he was
    interested but now hears sirens and really has to leave. Basically it
    sounds to the telemarketer that they're listening in on the after-murder
    cleanup by the assailants but that the one who answered the phone is an
    idiot and is really interested in whatever the telemarketer is selling.

    If you want to eliminate their auto-dialer scheme, and you use your
    answering machine to screen calls, add the out-of-service tone to the
    start of your outgoing message. If you pickup and wait, their machine
    knows they reached a valid number, especially if you ever let it
    transfer on their end to their telemarketer. If they get a busy signal,
    an answering machine (which delays until the beep and the beep is also a
    trigger), or you just hang up, your number goes back on their list to
    get redialed. When they get the out-of-service signal, their equipment
    deletes you from their list because there is no point in wasting time
    dialing a number that is not in service at all.

    A ploy I use is to interrupt at the beginning and tell them to hold for
    a second while I switch to a land-line phone so I can hear them better.
    Then just leave them on hold. A derivation is to tell them that you
    need to get Dad or Mom and have to go get them. Put them on hold.
    Every couple of minutes go back on the phone. If they are still there,
    tell them that the person is still coming and put them back on hold.
    Another ploy is to wait a few seconds but not say anything, say "Hello"
    again, wait, say, "HELLO" louder, wait, "Anyone there?", wait, "Okay,
    don't want to talk to me so bye-bye". If they call back, do the same
    thing. They'll think your phone is broken and you can't hear them. The
    longer they are on hold, the fewer other victims they can irritate.
    Slow them down, reduce their commissions, increase their turnover, and
    otherwise obstruct them.

    I know one guy that keeps a spiel on paper next to his phone. When he
    gets a telemarketer or some joker claiming to be from a charity, he
    listens attentively for a few seconds saying "uh huh, uh huh" and then
    interrupts with, "That sounds interesting but I'd like to ask you
    something. Have you heard about the power of Jesus?" and then goes into
    his preaching spiel about Jesus, God, Holy Spirit, the healing power of
    prayer, and so on while sounding just like a Sunday telecast preacher.

    I happen to be present when one guy took a telemarketing call and turned
    it into a desparate plea for a date. As the telemarketer tried to talk,
    my buddy would let him get out a couple of sentences and then interrupt
    with a totally unrelated question. Do you live around here? Okay, but
    if I flew in, would you pick me up at the airport? Yeah, so you're a
    guy, too. I'm a hermaphrodite so bisexual is what I do. I can please
    you in so many ways. Actually I'll do anyone or anything: boys, girls,
    young, old, really old, animals, toys, you name it. Got any
    preferences? I live in the country so no one would hear us, and I've
    got horses and dogs here, too, both sexes. Care if I record our
    delights and put it on the Internet? And so on he went. He would pause
    a bit to let the telemarketer recover or start to speak but then break
    in again with the sex stuff. I had both hands over my face to muffle my
    Vanguard, Mar 17, 2007
  8. Cohiba

    Old Gringo Guest

    LMAO I bought some of those one time thinking I was helping the
    blind. All the bulbs blew out in a couple of months, so needless to
    say that was the last time I bought them. I am all fluorescent now.
    Old Gringo, Mar 18, 2007
  9. Cohiba

    philo Guest

    Well I did buy them one time and they realy did last a long time..actually a
    lot longer thasn five years.
    The constuction was excellent...
    However they were way more expensive and not worth it...
    *except* they are very good for putting in hard to reach places...such as an
    out door light 30 feet up in the air!
    philo, Mar 18, 2007
  10. Cohiba

    Lookout Guest

    I'm on the Do Not Call list and I haven't got a telemarketer call in
    years. You guys need to read the newspaper and catch up with life.
    Lookout, Mar 18, 2007
  11. Cohiba

    Old Gringo Guest

    I got my Vtech TeleZapper before the do not call list came out. The
    TeleZapper works so well I didn't bother with the do not call list.
    <g> Moral of the story, I was riding the light while you were still
    in the dark waiting. :)
    Old Gringo, Mar 18, 2007
  12. Cohiba

    Lookout Guest

    2nd moral of the story. You paid for yours, mine is free. I never had
    to pay a light bill.
    Lookout, Mar 18, 2007
  13. Cohiba

    Old Gringo Guest

    I am just guessing but if you never paid a light bill, I guess you
    don't have a phone either.
    Old Gringo, Mar 18, 2007
  14. There are unprintable expletives ignoring the list and calling with
    automated dialers (which are illegal). I report 'em to the FTC.
    Gary G. Taylor, Mar 19, 2007
  15. Cohiba

    ~xenc. Guest

    ~xenc., Mar 19, 2007
  16. Cohiba

    Lookout Guest

    I was referring to your metaphor of the dark
    Lookout, Mar 24, 2007
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