So anyway, a cowboy walks into a bar

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more
    than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced
    every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet
    first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting
    in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man seated at
    the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in
    his day.

    The young cowboy took a seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink,
    and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could
    give me some tips?" he asked.

    The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing,
    you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a lil' lower down on
    your leg.

    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. "Sure
    will," said the old-timer.

    The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot
    the bow tie off the piano player. "That's terrific!" said the cowboy.
    "Got any more tips for me?"

    "Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the
    hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."

    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man. "You
    bet it will," said the old-timer.

    The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun
    in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

    "Wow!" said the cowboy. "I'm learning' somethin' here. Got any more tips?"

    The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that
    axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it." The young man went over
    to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
    "No," said the old-time, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."

    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

    "No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the
    piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass and it won't hurt as much."
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Jun 13, 2007
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  2. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    WhzzKdd Guest

    OMG - didn't see THAT coming! <grin>
    WhzzKdd, Jun 13, 2007
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  3. Haven't heard that in a dog's age. Blinkynet needs it for the Story
    Jokes section. :)

    Here's one you might enjoy:
    Blinky the Shark, Jun 13, 2007
  4. It was on, or about, Wed, 13 Jun 2007 05:06:04 +0000, that as I was
    In a similar vein..;-)
    In mid January, an international businessman arrived back in England from
    a visit abroad.
    He got off his plane, & got into the back of his Rolls-Royce where he
    poured himself a whisky.
    He was looking forward to a quiet weekend, & riding through the
    countryside on his favourite horse.
    "How's Golden Boy?" he enquired about it, to his chauffeur.
    "I'm sorry to say the horse is dead, sir." replied the chauffeur.
    "DEAD?!, How the hell did that happen?" he asked, sitting bolt upright.
    "A beam in the stables dropped on his head & killed him, before we could
    get him out, sir. And unfortunately in his dying spasm, he kicked your
    dog & killed it."
    "WHAT?!? He killed Rover?" cried the man, pouring himself a *very* large
    "Afraid so, sir," replied the chauffeur "..kicked him in the head."
    "What the bloody hell caused all this?" demanded the man.
    "Well, it seems a spark from the fire at the manor set the stables
    alight, sir." answered the chauffeur.
    "FFS, a FIRE? What fire?"
    "Err...the firechief thinks it was one of the candles surrounding your
    wife's coffin which set a tapestry on fire, & then 'WOOSH' the whole lot
    went up"
    "Dear god" groaned the man, downing yet another large scotch.
    "However" continued the chauffeur, "there is some good news"
    "There is? WTF is it?" asked the man.
    "Yes, sir. Due to all the heat, the daffodils & tulips have bloomed 3
    months early!"
    William Poaster, Jun 13, 2007
  5. :)
    Blinky the Shark, Jun 13, 2007
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