Out of work? Got IT skills? Then get drafted!

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by Vigo Breadcrumbs, May 3, 2004.

  1. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    JaR Guest

    Don't even suggest such heresy! After all, we're all in this together.

    $1 to Steve Smith

    JaR
    Possum Thug
     
    JaR, May 4, 2004
    #21
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  2. Vigo Breadcrumbs, May 4, 2004
    #22
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  3. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Neil Guest

    pfffffftttt! americans! How do you think we have our servers stacked. We
    don't use them "rack" things, we just duct tape 'em toghter...

    "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you
    handy..."
     
    Neil, May 4, 2004
    #23
  4. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    JaR Guest

    Au contraire! The possibilities are endless. From taping up that unsightly
    rats nest of wires behind your computer, to holding shut that recalcitrant
    laptop. Cat5 across a bare section of floor is not a trip hazard if
    covered over with a strip of the handyman's secret weapon. One's
    collection of certificates can be tastefully taped to any available wall.
    In fact, attractive frames for them can also be simply made from the gray
    wonder fastener. Lose the screws to that case after replacing the
    hard drive? Not a problem if a roll of duct tape is handy. Problem with
    user access to certain (cough) sites on the net? simply tape over all but
    a half-inch strip of his monitor for truly 'restricted viewing'! Lusers
    that are unable to resist the urge to click any attractive thing that
    arrives in their inbox? Simply tape their wrists to their ankles. In this
    position, they will be naturally, and effectively, urged to restrain their
    impulse to open anything. The list goes on, but I leave it to your own
    native inventiveness to find more uses.

    JaR
    Handy Thug
     
    JaR, May 4, 2004
    #24
  5. - Require women to register with Selective Service

    .... depending on if they spit or swallow.

    Kline Sphere (Chalk) MCNGP #3
     
    The Poster Formerly Known as Kline Sphere, May 4, 2004
    #25
  6. I wouldn't have thought of more than one or two of those. I suppose I'm
    revealed as nothing but an ignorant nancy boy, worthy of the title of
    neither "IT professional" nor "man." At least I'm going out like one: I
    shall now force-feed myself into my own garbage disposal. In retrospect,
    it's good that I opted for the one horsepower model.



    http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg
     
    Vigo Breadcrumbs, May 4, 2004
    #26
  7. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Brat Guest

    lol pervert...

    <singing>
    I'll never teeeeelllll
    </singing>
     
    Brat, May 4, 2004
    #27
  8. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Jtyc Guest

    Well I hope you don't. Haven't you ever read Gerald's Game?? That's a
    dangerous activity.












    that book sucks btw...
     
    Jtyc, May 4, 2004
    #28
  9. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Guest Guest

    I don't hate America you boob! And what does that have to
    do with this newsgroup? But since you want to get all
    political on me, I am an American, but I'm not blinded by
    Bush's b.s. The republican party is the root of all evil.
    Now step back before I hit you with my certificate!
     
    Guest, May 5, 2004
    #29
  10. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Neil Guest

    what's next, poking him with your lapel pin?
     
    Neil, May 5, 2004
    #30
  11. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Jtyc Guest

    Bush's b.s. The republican party is the root of all evil.


    I thought money was the root of all evil?
     
    Jtyc, May 5, 2004
    #31
  12. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    I believe it's the lack of money that is the root of all evil.
     
    Ken Briscoe, May 5, 2004
    #32
  13. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Neil Guest

    and women are evil...

    women = Time * Money

    Time = Money

    Women = Money²

    Money = vevil

    Women = evil
     
    Neil, May 5, 2004
    #33
  14. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Kat Guest

    Actually, I think women would equal money squared... if you go back over
    that I'm sure you'll find i'm correct.

    Thank you.

    Women= more intelligent than men
     
    Kat, May 5, 2004
    #34
  15. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Kat Guest

    And I wrote that wrong :) evil squared.

    Women = Money²

    Money = evil

    Women = evil²

    There, now it's correct.
     
    Kat, May 5, 2004
    #35
  16. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Jtyc Guest

    I believe it's the lack of money that is the root of all evil.

    I disagree. Plenty of rich and powerful people are still evil.
     
    Jtyc, May 5, 2004
    #36
  17. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    Agreed. But I believe the original quote has been manhandled and "The lack
    of" has been dropped. I want to say it was Mark Twain, but, of course, I
    could be wrong.
     
    Ken Briscoe, May 5, 2004
    #37
  18. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Jtyc Guest

    Good evening!
    The last scene was interesting from the point of view of a professional
    logician because it contained a number of logical fallacies -- that is,
    invalid propositional constructions and syllogistic forms -- of the type so
    often committed by my wife.

    "All wood burns," states Sir Bedevere. "Therefore," he concludes, "all that
    burns is wood."

    This is, of course, pure bullsh*t! Universal affirmatives can only be
    partially converted. All of Alma Cogan is dead, but only some of the class
    of dead people are Alma Cogan. Obvious one would think.

    However, my wife does not understand this necessary limitation of the
    conversion of a proposition. Consequently, she does not understand me. For
    how can a woman expect to appreciate a professor of logic if the simplest
    cloth-eared syllogism causes her to flounder.

    For example: given the premise, "All fish live underwater" and "All mackerel
    are fish", my wife will conclude, not that "All mackerel live underwater",
    but that "If she buys kippers it will not rain" or that "Trout live in
    trees" or even that "I do not love her any more."

    This she calls "using her intuition". I call it "crap" and it gets me very
    IRRITATED because it is not logical!

    "There will be no supper tonight," she will sometimes cry upon my return
    home.

    "Why not?" I will ask.

    "Because I have been screwing the milkman all day," she will say, quite
    oblivious of the howling error she has made.

    "But," I will wearily point out, "even given that the activities of screwing
    the milkman and getting supper are mutually exclusive, now that the screwing
    is over, surely then, supper may, logically, be got."

    "You don't love me any more!" she will now often postulate. "If you did, you
    would give me one now and again so that I would not have to rely on that
    rancid Pakistani for my orgasms!"

    "I will give you one after you have got me my supper!" I now usually scream,
    "but not before" -- as you understand, making her bang contingent on the
    arrival of my supper.

    "God, you turn me on when you're angry, you ancient brute!" she now
    mysteriously deduces, forcing her sweetly throbbing tongue down my throat.

    "F*ck supper!" I now invariably conclude, throwing logic somewhat joyously
    to the four winds, and so we thrash about on our milk-stained floor,
    transported by animal passion, until we sink back, exhausted, onto the
    cartons of yogurt....

    I'm afraid I seem to have strayed somewhat from my original brief. But in a
    nutshell, sex is more fun than logic. One cannot prove this, but it IS in
    the same sense that Mount Everest IS, or that Alma Cogan ISN'T.

    Goodnight.
     
    Jtyc, May 5, 2004
    #38
  19. ROFLMAO

    steve

     
    joust in jest, May 5, 2004
    #39
  20. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Jtyc Guest

    Agreed. But I believe the original quote has been manhandled and "The lack

    If you need a lack of, try this: "Evil is a total lack of empathy.".
     
    Jtyc, May 5, 2004
    #40
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