OT: Best break up letter ever!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by =?windows-1252?Q?-Cryogenic-=A9?=, May 6, 2004.

  1. "Dear Susan :
    I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our
    "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I
    swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little
    boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make

    In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I
    guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot
    of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about
    looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as
    one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our
    hurt. And this is what my heart says...

    "There's no one like you, Susan." I look for you in the eyes and breasts
    of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two
    weeks ago, I met this girl at Ithaca Bar and brought her home with me. I
    don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my
    desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies
    that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I
    mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a
    tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch
    being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made
    important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect
    body mean?

    Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see
    what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a
    better heart than my moderately attractive Susan? I doubt it. And I'd
    never really thought of that before. I Don't know, maybe I'm just
    growing up a little.

    Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I
    found myself thinking, "why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't
    just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but
    something else. Some ****ling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so
    incomplete? And then it hit me.

    It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Susan, to watch. Do
    you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Susan,
    I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of

    Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met in Upper Side last year?
    Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she
    figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what
    she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a
    few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away in
    our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's
    giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not
    hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us.
    And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's
    old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we
    can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too.
    'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Susan ever put the mirror on
    the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never
    used it as a sex aid."

    Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I
    mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on
    her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.

    She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in
    general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Susan, She really
    is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times.
    Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is
    think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just
    about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole
    anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured
    you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness
    between us.

    But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby
    sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Susan.
    In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just
    wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can.

    If you feel the same please, please, please let me know, otherwise, can
    you let me know where the remote control is.

    =?windows-1252?Q?-Cryogenic-=A9?=, May 6, 2004
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  2. =?windows-1252?Q?-Cryogenic-=A9?=

    Jim Scott Guest

    Wonderful :eek:)
    Jim Scott, May 6, 2004
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  3. =?windows-1252?Q?-Cryogenic-=A9?=

    Joevan Guest

    That broad Susan, she published my letter. I'll get her now.
    Joevan, May 6, 2004
  4. =?windows-1252?Q?-Cryogenic-=A9?=

    John Holmes Guest

    Joevan came up with this:
    John Holmes, May 6, 2004
  5. =?windows-1252?Q?-Cryogenic-=A9?=

    Norm Guest

    snip, snip to conserve bandwidth??!!


    Norm, May 6, 2004
  6. And Connie has been spreading it around in email. :) (That was who the
    copy I received there was addressed to.)
    Blinky the Shark, May 6, 2004
  7. =?windows-1252?Q?-Cryogenic-=A9?=


    Apr 24, 2010
    Likes Received:
    Well there are better and cleaner ways to breakup.

    Last week, I came across this site called breakupeasy.com.

    Despite how hilarious it is, I can see people using the s**t out of it. There are other sites like this, but this one is kinda diff.

    For one it's free, and it actually looks like they are trying to actually help people.

    So, for what its worth, checking our breakupeasy.com is worth a look.

    Ciao papi...

    ValenciaRios77, Apr 24, 2010
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