moggie has to GO. (reposted due to lack of feedback and maybe cos noone follows rogers posts))

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Brian, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. Brian

    Brian Guest

    I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
     
    Brian, Sep 29, 2005
    #1
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  2. Brian

    The One Guest

    Brian bashed at the keyboard and came up with:

    > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > before me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    > furniture to pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have
    > been having some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy
    > but don't want to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how
    > to get rid of it without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't
    > think my missus would pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will
    > be bying new furniture etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my
    > stuff again. oh, pulling his claws is not an option... he has to GO.


    Put its food dish by the back wheel of the car, reverse. Bingo. Move the
    dish, OH MY GOD THERES BEEN A ACCIDENT.......... and various other cries of
    greif. And dont forget to offer your shoulder to cry on.

    Just dont laugh like something from the Shining when burying the squished
    feline.
     
    The One, Sep 29, 2005
    #2
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  3. Brian

    Danny Guest

    "Brian" <> wrote in message news:...
    >I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > before
    > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture
    > to
    > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    > furniture
    > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    > pulling
    > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >
    >


    Live anywhere near a Chinese takeaway?
     
    Danny, Sep 29, 2005
    #3
  4. Brian

    SgtMinor Guest

    Re: moggie has to GO. (reposted due to lack of feedback and maybecos noone follows rogers posts))

    Brian wrote:
    > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >
    >


    Do your "missus" a favor and leave. I *know* the cat won't miss you and
    I doubt that the missus will either.

    Or get professional help.
     
    SgtMinor, Sep 29, 2005
    #4
  5. Brian

    Brian Guest

    "Danny" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:433c0edd$0$19466$...
    >
    > "Brian" <> wrote in message news:...
    > >I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > > before
    > > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture
    > > to
    > > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't

    want
    > > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of

    it
    > > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus

    would
    > > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    > > furniture
    > > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    > > pulling
    > > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    > >
    > >

    >
    > Live anywhere near a Chinese takeaway?
    >
    >


    nice thought but the cat needs to die a sudden death and still be in the
    flat for my missus to find it. making the cat vanish would just backfire
    everything and my missus would no longer want to move just incase the cat
    does find its way home some day.
     
    Brian, Sep 29, 2005
    #5
  6. Brian

    Trax Guest

    "Brian" <> wrote:

    |>I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    |>been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    |>me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    |>pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    |>some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    |>to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    |>without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    |>pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    |>etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    |>his claws is not an option... he has to GO.

    Isn't it that time of the year to change the coolant in your auto?





    --
    No Defense Against Windows Rootkits?
    http://it.slashdot.org/it/05/09/28/1438213.shtml?tid=172
     
    Trax, Sep 29, 2005
    #6
  7. Brian

    MZB Guest

    Or, if that doesn't work, I trust your dryer works well???

    Or, how about the wonderful sound of your toilet flushing??

    Mel
    "Trax" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > "Brian" <> wrote:
    >
    > |>I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > |>been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > before
    > |>me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture
    > to
    > |>pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > |>some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't
    > want
    > |>to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of
    > it
    > |>without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus
    > would
    > |>pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    > furniture
    > |>etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    > pulling
    > |>his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >
    > Isn't it that time of the year to change the coolant in your auto?
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --
    > No Defense Against Windows Rootkits?
    > http://it.slashdot.org/it/05/09/28/1438213.shtml?tid=172
     
    MZB, Sep 29, 2005
    #7
  8. Re: moggie has to GO. (reposted due to lack of feedback and maybecos noone follows rogers posts))

    Brian wrote:
    > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.


    I don't think anyone but an asshole really wants to help you with
    cruelty to animals and your missus. De-clawing *is* an option whether
    you think it is or not.
     
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Sep 29, 2005
    #8
  9. Brian

    Danny Guest

    "Brian" <> wrote in message news:433c2d0a$...
    >
    > "Danny" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    > news:433c0edd$0$19466$...
    >>
    >> "Brian" <> wrote in message news:...
    >> >I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    >> > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    >> > before
    >> > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    >> > furniture
    >> > to
    >> > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been
    >> > having
    >> > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't

    > want
    >> > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of

    > it
    >> > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus

    > would
    >> > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    >> > furniture
    >> > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    >> > pulling
    >> > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >> >
    >> >

    >>
    >> Live anywhere near a Chinese takeaway?
    >>
    >>

    >
    > nice thought but the cat needs to die a sudden death and still be in the
    > flat for my missus to find it. making the cat vanish would just backfire
    > everything and my missus would no longer want to move just incase the cat
    > does find its way home some day.
    >


    Look!! Mate!! Get rid of them both!!!
    >
     
    Danny, Sep 29, 2005
    #9
  10. Brian

    The One Guest

    John Holmes bashed at the keyboard and came up with:

    > I can see now you have adapted the appropiate language skills in this
    > froup.


    Meow, saucer of milk to that table please!
     
    The One, Sep 29, 2005
    #10
  11. "Brian" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there

    before
    > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all

    furniture to
    > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been

    having
    > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but

    don't want
    > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid

    of it
    > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus

    would
    > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new

    furniture
    > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,

    pulling
    > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >
    >


    Kill yourself, after making sure your life insurance premiums are
    current. If you have double indemnity coverage for accidental death,
    step out in front of a bus. You missus and the cat will appreciate it.

    --
    Ricky
     
    Ricardo La Tete, Sep 29, 2005
    #11
  12. Brian

    Avenger© Guest

    On Thu, 29 Sep 2005 17:14:57 +0200, "Brian" <> wrote:

    >I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    >been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    >me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    >pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    >some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    >to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    >without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    >pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    >etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    >his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >


    Actually Brian, better idea, get rid of the missus and keep the cat.
    --
    Avenger©
    I *HATE* Spam
    A Spam Hater Since 1951
     
    Avenger©, Sep 30, 2005
    #12
  13. Brian

    penguin676 Guest

    Brian wrote:
    >I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    >been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    >me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    >pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    >some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    >to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    >without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    >pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    >etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    >his claws is not an option... he has to GO.



    Greetings;

    Ok, here's what you do:

    Put your missus in the middle of the room. You get on one side of the
    room and put the cat on the other side of the room. On the count of
    three you both call her.

    If your missus goes to you, you get rid of the cat.

    If your missus goes to the cat, it shows she loves the cat more and you
    should gracefully step aside so they can have a wonderful life together.
    At that point you'd be free to get a flat of your own and buy a dog.

    HTH

    Penguin must run. Have cookie will travel.
    -Chris
     
    penguin676, Sep 30, 2005
    #13
  14. Brian

    Brian Guest

    "Trax" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:...
    > "Brian" <> wrote:
    >
    > |>I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > |>been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there

    before
    > |>me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture

    to
    > |>pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > |>some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't

    want
    > |>to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of

    it
    > |>without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus

    would
    > |>pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new

    furniture
    > |>etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,

    pulling
    > |>his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >
    > Isn't it that time of the year to change the coolant in your auto?
    >
    >


    nice hidden tip there, Trax. will let you know how i get on.

    >
    >
    >
    > --
    > No Defense Against Windows Rootkits?
    > http://it.slashdot.org/it/05/09/28/1438213.shtml?tid=172
     
    Brian, Sep 30, 2005
    #14
  15. Brian

    Trax Guest

    "Brian" <> wrote:

    |>
    |>"Trax" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    |>news:...
    |>> "Brian" <> wrote:
    |>>
    |>> |>I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    |>> |>been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    |>before
    |>> |>me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture
    |>to
    |>> |>pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    |>> |>some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't
    |>want
    |>> |>to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of
    |>it
    |>> |>without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus
    |>would
    |>> |>pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    |>furniture
    |>> |>etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    |>pulling
    |>> |>his claws is not an option... he has to GO.

    |>> Isn't it that time of the year to change the coolant in your auto?
    |>>


    |>nice hidden tip there, Trax. will let you know how i get on.

    Oh, No, I don't want to know; I really had second thoughts about
    posting what I did.

    I kinda like'd what penguin676 posted, plus you get a dog out of the
    deal :)



    --
    http://www.realtechnews.com/posts/1895
     
    Trax, Sep 30, 2005
    #15
  16. Brian

    Brian Guest

    "Rôgêr" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:...
    > Brian wrote:
    > > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there

    before
    > > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture

    to
    > > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't

    want
    > > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of

    it
    > > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus

    would
    > > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new

    furniture
    > > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,

    pulling
    > > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.

    >
    > I don't think anyone but an asshole really wants to help you with
    > cruelty to animals and your missus. De-clawing *is* an option whether
    > you think it is or not.


    so.. Rutger, you are now accusing about half of the posters in this thread
    of being 'assholes'. hmmm?
    Btw. who kicked all this off by posting a link to an act of animal cruelty?
    hmmm?
    without your post i would never have dwelled on the thought to post my
    intentions in this group. so who's the asshole now? hmm?
     
    Brian, Sep 30, 2005
    #16
  17. Brian

    Brian Guest

    "Trax" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:...
    > "Brian" <> wrote:
    >
    > |>
    > |>"Trax" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    > |>news:...
    > |>> "Brian" <> wrote:
    > |>>
    > |>> |>I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > |>> |>been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > |>before
    > |>> |>me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all

    furniture
    > |>to
    > |>> |>pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been

    having
    > |>> |>some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but

    don't
    > |>want
    > |>> |>to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid

    of
    > |>it
    > |>> |>without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus
    > |>would
    > |>> |>pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    > |>furniture
    > |>> |>etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    > |>pulling
    > |>> |>his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >
    > |>> Isn't it that time of the year to change the coolant in your auto?
    > |>>
    >
    >
    > |>nice hidden tip there, Trax. will let you know how i get on.
    >
    > Oh, No, I don't want to know; I really had second thoughts about
    > posting what I did.
    >
    > I kinda like'd what penguin676 posted, plus you get a dog out of the
    > deal :)
    >
    >


    you should of thought about that beforehand. no way out now. you may soon
    have my missus' cat on your consience.

    >
    > --
    > http://www.realtechnews.com/posts/1895
     
    Brian, Sep 30, 2005
    #17
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