Lunch at Microsoft.....(a laugh for those who haven't seen it)

Discussion in 'NZ Computing' started by Dave, Dec 7, 2006.

  1. Dave

    Dave Guest

    Lunch at Microsoft

    Patron: Waiter!

    Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support. What
    seems to be the problem?

    Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

    Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

    Patron: No, it's still there.

    Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating
    it with a fork instead.

    Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

    Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what
    kind of bowl are you using?

    Patron: A soup bowl!

    Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration
    problem;how was the bowl set up?

    Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to
    do with the fly in my soup?!

    Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you
    noticed the fly in your soup?

    Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

    Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of
    the Day?

    Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

    Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

    Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

    Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

    Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm
    running late now.

    Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the

    Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

    Patron: This is potato soup.

    Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

    Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

    Waiter leaves.

    Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

    The check:

    Soup of the Day $5.00

    Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day $2.50

    Access to Support $1.00

    Total $8.50 + Tax
    Dave, Dec 7, 2006
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  2. Dave

    Adam Guest

    Adam, Dec 7, 2006
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  3. Dave

    Peter Guest

    "Microsoft didn't come into Iowa and do things directly" to raise prices,
    Conlin told jurors. "They acted to destroy competition" with "illegal choke
    holds, one on input and one on output." Those illegal activities allowed
    the company to charge higher prices than it could have if there had been
    competition, she said.
    Conlin has said that expert witnesses, including a Nobel Prize-winning
    economist, will present evidence showing that the cost to Iowans of that
    loss of competition is as high as $330 million during the 12-year period
    covered by the lawsuit....
    Conlin used a variety of computer-generated illustrations, including one
    that showed 15 icons, each representing what she said was an illegal action
    taken by Microsoft in pursuit of its bid to become and remain a monopoly.
    The icons had titles like "exclusionary contract," "technical
    sabotage," "buying out the competition," "espionage," and "deception and

    Microsoft turned over several discs to Conlin’s staff that contained the
    Nimda computer virus. The virus could have wiped out her electronic
    records. Microsoft told Judge Rosenberg on November 9, 2006 in a hearing
    that the problem came from an outside vendor, but that the virus was
    actually in the original source code.
    Peter, Dec 8, 2006
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