I'll Bash my head in

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Brian Nobble, Sep 29, 2003.

  1. Brian Nobble

    Brian Nobble Guest

    I've recently been considering taking up self-inflicted head-injuries
    as a hobby.

    Do any of you guys have any experience in this?

    For example, what should be my weapon of choice when it comes to
    inflicting these wounds upon myself?

    I wish to maximise scalp and possibly skull injuries without leaving
    myself with a lasting neurological deficit that would render my new
    hobby out of bounds.

    The first implement that springs to mind is a hammer. But should I
    choose a claw or a ball pein?

    How about a brick or a paving slab dropped from a height?

    I've even considered riding my motorbike into a bridge support at
    speed while not wearing a helmet, but the results would be probably
    too unpredictable for that to work.

    C'mon! Make some suggestions people.

    I really need some help here guys!

    Ta.
     
    Brian Nobble, Sep 29, 2003
    #1
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  2. Brian Nobble

    Yanart Amin Guest


    Have you tried

    The Penge Trepanning Centre
    69 Samos Rd
    London
    SE20 4Q2

    Tel 0800 holeinthehead

    ?
     
    Yanart Amin, Sep 29, 2003
    #2
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  3. Brian Nobble

    Brian Nobble Guest

    No.

    Thanks for the suggestion, but I actually don't wish to go down to the
    dura. I also wish that all of my injuries are due to blunt trauma and,
    at most, result in skull fractures that do not require medical
    attention (I wouldn't know how to explain my injuries at A&E).

    No, what I'm looking for is methods for producing maximum scalp injury
    and minor skull fractures whilst causing minimum brain damage.

    Suggestions appreciated.
     
    Brian Nobble, Sep 29, 2003
    #3
  4. Brian Nobble

    Gadget Guest

    How about heading butting plate glass window. Maximum scalp damaged, very
    little skull damaged.. One thing though wear goggles to protect your eyes.
     
    Gadget, Sep 29, 2003
    #4
  5. Brian Nobble

    z Guest

    Why not use a stanley knife to cut your scalp from the back of one ear,
    around the back of your head to the other ear, then (and you might need
    slightly long fingernails for this) grab the scalp and pull it forward as
    hard as you can round to your forehead.
     
    z, Sep 29, 2003
    #5
  6. Brian Nobble

    ziggy Guest

    tsk tsk You should've added:

    Now children, please do not try this at home without the help of an
    adult.......

    ~;0)
     
    ziggy, Sep 29, 2003
    #6
  7. Wimpering Slits Calipers?

     
    Dr.Toger ²°°² :->, Sep 29, 2003
    #7
  8. Brian Nobble

    Unknown Guest

    Get a 45 and aim it at your temple.
     
    Unknown, Sep 29, 2003
    #8
  9. massivechicken, Sep 30, 2003
    #9
  10. Brian Nobble

    E. Greenbank Guest

    My first ever memory is of falling backwards off the work-top in the kitchen
    (which I climbed onto using a stool) and cracking my head on the concrete
    floor. I cried as noone came to my rescue, thinking "bloody hell, shouldn't
    that have killed me?".
    Since then I've always bashed my head in occasioanly (used to be by accident
    many years ago) and its never really done much to me, injury wise. So I'm
    thinking that really bad smash as a small child has led to my freaky
    resistance to head bangs. Ofcourse, driving a pavement slab into my head
    would knock me out. But the milder things (which most people scream in pain
    at) dont bother me. I'll get to the point anyhow...

    If you want head injuries, become a high flying professional wrestler. And
    always take things that one step further. Eventually you'll mess up and
    hopefully recieve a nice head injury. Have a few barbed wire matches. And no
    holds barred matches. And cage matches. They always draw blood from the
    head. I also recommend you start up your own backyard wrestling club. Get
    your mates to come along and pound you. Get them to piledrive you on a
    concrete floor. I'm sure they dont know the first thing about wrestling and
    so are more likely to do your head in more, and accidentally almost kill
    you.

    HTH

    E.'
     
    E. Greenbank, Sep 30, 2003
    #10
  11. Video a tutorial using your own head first..... Slitty.



     
    Dr.Toger ²°°² :->, Oct 1, 2003
    #11
  12. The Lord alerted my mind to the presence of this EVIL article by Brian
    Nobble, and I thusly replied:
    I bashed the bishop once. He gave me a clip round the earhole.
     
    Reverend Parson Peter Parsnip, Oct 2, 2003
    #12
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