How to kill a chicken?

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by sparkle, May 16, 2005.

  1. sparkle

    sparkle Guest

    My hens are really slowing down their laying after nearly 3 years so I guess
    it's curtain time for them. What is the best way to kill a chicken?

    I searched google but found only sick "comedy" lines like "crush its neck
    with a broom handle whilst pulling its legs at the same time."

    I read somewhere to hold the chicken upside down and turn the head in three
    full circles, grip the neck and give it a swift pull toward the ground to
    make it pop right off.

    Anyone got any suggestions?

    :) xxx
     
    sparkle, May 16, 2005
    #1
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  2. sparkle

    joevan Guest

    My grandmother used to hold the chicken by the legs with its head on a
    stump. Then a quick wack with a sharp hatchet. I was 5-7 years old
    then and it was quite a scene watching that headless bird flop around
    the area for what seemed like 2 or three minutes. I used to help her
    pluck the feathers after it had stopped flopping.
     
    joevan, May 16, 2005
    #2
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  3. sparkle

    Not Me Guest

    might try posting to misc.rural news group

    | My hens are really slowing down their laying after nearly 3 years so I
    guess
    | it's curtain time for them. What is the best way to kill a chicken?
    |
    | I searched google but found only sick "comedy" lines like "crush its neck
    | with a broom handle whilst pulling its legs at the same time."
    |
    | I read somewhere to hold the chicken upside down and turn the head in
    three
    | full circles, grip the neck and give it a swift pull toward the ground to
    | make it pop right off.
    |
    | Anyone got any suggestions?
    |
    | :) xxx
     
    Not Me, May 16, 2005
    #3
  4. sparkle

    dadiOH Guest

    You don't. They have been nice to you for three years, now it is your
    turn to be nice to them...let them live out their lives in peace. If
    you don't want them around find someone that does.

    --
    dadiOH
    ____________________________

    dadiOH's dandies v3.06...
    ....a help file of info about MP3s, recording from
    LP/cassette and tips & tricks on this and that.
    Get it at http://mysite.verizon.net/xico
     
    dadiOH, May 16, 2005
    #4
  5. sparkle

    Oldus Fartus Guest

    That brings back memories of being scared shitless after being chased by
    a headless chook.
     
    Oldus Fartus, May 16, 2005
    #5
  6. sparkle

    sparkle Guest

    dadiOH , wrote in message
    [email protected]:
    I did not buy the chickens just to feed them when they stopped producing.
    It's called economics. If you want me "to be nice to them...let them live
    out their lives in peace", send me the money for 1kg of feed for each of the
    six chickens per week plus $US10.00 (toto) per week maintenance costs. In
    return I'll send you their pictures and two large bags of shit every month.
     
    sparkle, May 16, 2005
    #6
  7. sparkle

    Scrote Guest

    This is the very sort of chicken designed to be used in that old
    seventies standby, Coq au vin. yum
     
    Scrote, May 16, 2005
    #7
  8. sparkle

    joevan Guest

    With a name like sparkle yew shore dew have a way with that polytichen
    stuff.
     
    joevan, May 16, 2005
    #8
  9. sparkle

    old jon Guest

    Hi S. give them away and let someone else solve the prob. best wishes..J
     
    old jon, May 16, 2005
    #9
  10. sparkle

    elaich Guest

    It's much cleaner if you buy or fashion a cone. The end of the cone is
    open enough for the chicken's head to protrude. Place the chicken upside
    down in the cone so that it's head is sticking out the bottom. You can
    then remove the head with a sharp knife. The cone prevents the spectre of
    a headless chicken careening around for several minutes, andf allows it
    to bleed out properly.

    I know this is a squeaky subject for many people. Most of us have never
    done any such thing, forgetting that only a few generations ago, this
    would have been an everyday fact of life for much of the population.
     
    elaich, May 16, 2005
    #10
  11. sparkle

    Old Gringo Guest

    Similar to Jeovan, only my Grandmother used a Butcher Knife then tied
    the feet together over the clothes line to let them bleed as bouncing
    around on the ground could damage a gland in the chicken and cause
    the meat to taste bitter. After the chicken stopped bleeding she
    would dip the chickens in a bucked of boiling water for about 2 min.
    then the feathers were easy to pluck out. After the plucking she
    would turn the chicken in all directions over an open flame to singe
    the small hair like feathers off. Then to gut the chicken making
    sure not to brake the gland that caused the chicken to taste bitter.
    One cut from the bottom tip of the Brest straight through to the
    tail. This should not be a deep incision as not to damage any of the
    guts in the chicken. You can lift the loose skin up as you make the
    cut to prevent damaging the insides. The guts can be pulled out with
    no cutting required. After removal of the guts you can salvage the
    gizzard, heart, liver, and dinky. The gizzard will require cleaning
    as it is full of the first stages of chicken shit, gravel, seeds,
    corn, etc. You will see what looks like a seam on the edge of the
    gizzard, using a sharp knife cut 1/2 way around and turn the gizzard
    inside out and under running water wash the insides throughly. The
    heart, liver, and dinky require no special cleaning, just rinse under
    water. After removing the guts rinse the body cavity with cold water
    and then inspect the chicken for quills that broke off when plucking
    the chicken, mainly in the wings and around the neck. These can be
    removed by placing a paring knife under them and pressing with your
    thumb and pulling. Now you have a 3 year old roasting hen ready for
    the oven. Because of the age of the chicken it may be to tough to
    use as a fryer. Or you can give them away and get some more layers
    and buy dinner from the KFC. This all took place over 70 years ago
    so the details may be a little ifie. Good Luck :)
     
    Old Gringo, May 16, 2005
    #11
  12. sparkle

    AvengerĀ© Guest

    LOL!!!!
     
    AvengerĀ©, May 16, 2005
    #12
  13. I normally use a 50 caliber machine gun. After a 1200 round belt I take
    whatever is left over to MacDonalds for their "McChicken Mystery Bits".
    By the time I get back, the gun has cooled down enough to put back in
    the closet.
     
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, May 16, 2005
    #13
  14. When I was a kid, my dad used to string them up by their feet then
    insert a knife in their gullet. He'd let them hang and flop around
    until they bled out.

    Then there was plucking the feathers. He'd boil a large cauldron of
    water and dip the entire bird (unfortunately, I don't remember exactly
    how long) after which the feathers pulled out easily.
     
    Richard Evans, May 16, 2005
    #14
  15. sparkle

    Old Gringo Guest

    PS: Oh Ya the gizzard is under the neck just above the wishbone,
    another incision required to remove it. Knew I would forget
    something and I am not really positive about that. :)
     
    Old Gringo, May 16, 2005
    #15
  16. sparkle

    tom Guest

    What's a "dinky"?




     
    tom, May 16, 2005
    #16
  17. sparkle

    Old Gringo Guest

    I don't have a clue but it looks like the heart only about 1/2 the
    size. That was a nickname given by my Grandmother and she was
    German. So it could be a cross bread word for all I know. :)
     
    Old Gringo, May 16, 2005
    #17
  18. sparkle

    pcbutts1 Guest

    Murderer!......just kidding. If you don't plan on eating them then just take
    them about a mile down the road and let them go.
     
    pcbutts1, May 16, 2005
    #18
  19. sparkle

    Danny Guest

    How about letting them read this NG? They'd soon lose the will to live!! :)
     
    Danny, May 16, 2005
    #19
  20. sparkle

    dadiOH Guest

    Well why didn't you say it was all about money?? In that case...

    1. Build a small pen to contain chickens

    2. Acquire a mean dog

    3. Starve mean dog for a few days. Beating may or may not be necessary.

    4. Sell raffle tickets to your friends for "last chicken alive" (keep a
    percentage)

    5. Put chickens in pen

    6. Put dog in pen

    You and your friends can then enjoy watching the chickens be torn to
    shreds, you will make money and one of your friends will too. You might
    even sell tickets to the spectacle so that your more moral friends
    (those that don't gamble) can enjoy the blood letting too. Almost as
    much fun as fox hunting...

    --
    dadiOH
    ____________________________

    dadiOH's dandies v3.06...
    ....a help file of info about MP3s, recording from
    LP/cassette and tips & tricks on this and that.
    Get it at http://mysite.verizon.net/xico
     
    dadiOH, May 16, 2005
    #20
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