How do you teach touch typing to a cat?

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 15, 2007.

  1. Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 15, 2007
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  2. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    meerkat Guest

    I speak cat.
    t = thank.
    y = you.

    If he didn`t say thank you, you`d accuse him of being
    Hmph, there`s no pleasing some people <G>.
    meerkat, Aug 15, 2007
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  3. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mike Easter Guest

    His paw/leg is too short. He's trying to reach the 6 which is just
    above the t-y keys.


    The devil is making him do it.
    Mike Easter, Aug 15, 2007
  4. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Pennywise Guest
    Who knows :)
    Pennywise, Aug 15, 2007
  5. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Ponder Guest

    Hiya Rôgêr.

    Maybe he's trying to do this: ;)
    Ponder, Aug 15, 2007
  6. I guess. But that website says they're from around 1,200 BC. Piper is
    from around 1995 AD. But could be, I've still got a Oiuja board in my
    mom's attic I think. That's from the sixth grade.
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 15, 2007
  7. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mara Guest

    You don't need to. He's been communicating back and forth with Freddie the
    WunderCat here, and they're planning to extend their ownership of Usenet to the
    entire world.
    Mara, Aug 15, 2007
  8. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Fred Kasner Guest

    If he is to become a touch-typist his dew claws will have to be
    surgically moved down to the same location as his other four claws. As
    this will almost certainly leave the dew claw incapable of retraction he
    will never be able to touch type. So teach him the hunt and peck routine
    of typing.
    Fred Kasner, Aug 15, 2007
  9. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Alfred Guest

    I don't know how to teach a cat to type but I've heard you can teach
    them to be blacksmiths. Stick a red hot poker up his rear and he'll
    make a bolt for the door.

    (The old ones are still groaningly funny)
    Alfred, Aug 16, 2007
  10. I'll keep that in mind. I used to hear about stuffing a stick of butter
    up a wildcat's ass with a hot poker, but I've not tried it yet.
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 16, 2007
  11. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Rectum Burn Guest

    I would try bribes of catnip and delicious canned wet food to get him to
    tell you the real meaning behind his random typing........

    Rectum Burrrrrrn
    Rectum Burn, Aug 17, 2007
  12. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Plato Guest

    Slap his ass off your keyboard. Problem solved.
    Plato, Aug 17, 2007
  13. I don't slap my friends, but for you I might make an exception.
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 17, 2007
  14. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mara Guest

    Just get off the damned phone once in awhile. My cat's been trying to call your
    cat for weeks now.
    Mara, Aug 17, 2007
  15. You better watch giving those cats phone privileges. My damn' tomcat ran up
    a $954.00 phone bill calling 1-900-HOT-CHIX. I guess he thought it was some
    kind of fried chicken hot line.
    The Old Sourdough, Aug 19, 2007
  16. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mara Guest

    I'm actually not kidding about the phoning part. Freddie, who is blind, (among
    other horrendous problems that are mostly fixed now) has learned that if he
    steps on the speaker button on the desk phone and then on the redial button,
    which are totally separate, he's got my attention *immediately,* since the only
    time he does this is when I'm at my main computer, which is right beside it. So,
    I taught him to turn the speaker back off on command. The command is, of course,
    "get off the phone, someone else might want to use it for a change."

    I still have to hang up for him once in awhile, the brat. I swear he's on the
    phone more than the town gossip.

    The little shit has also been known to erase the caller-ID and answering machine
    too. But hey, I don't care. If he could survive what he's been through in the
    past 6 months, he can damned well have and do whatever he wants. :)
    Mara, Aug 19, 2007
  17. Piper wanted to tell Freddie:

    P. S. tytttyyyyyyyyytttttttttttt
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 20, 2007
  18. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mara Guest

    Freddie replies:


    I need a code breaker.
    Mara, Aug 20, 2007
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