cheating husband

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by traveller, Apr 19, 2005.

  1. traveller

    traveller Guest

    After 20 years I have just found out my husband had a one night stand and
    how many others I dont know about
    I am sitting here having a pity party by myself and need support. Are there
    any women out there that can help me get through this:????????????Desparate
    and tired of crying
    traveller, Apr 19, 2005
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  2. I would suggest that you allow yourself some time before deciding or
    concluding anything. People are only human and we all make mistakes. What
    is worse is that when mistakes do happen, they are usually followed by
    bigger mistakes, all in the name of pride.
    The Black Laced One, Apr 19, 2005
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  3. traveller

    Cindy Stuart Guest

    my husband died suddenly 4 years ago from a brain anyerism; he was only 33.
    i never knew much about computers. i found that he was visiting sites that
    depicted young, i mean little children and babies! i won't describe the
    content but suffice it to say that they actually made me throw up and i'm
    still sickened just remembering. my late , conservative, husband was a
    pedophile. i started a very large fire in the yard and burned everything
    including his computer, monitor and everything. i felt it was all
    so your husband was unfaithful; i wish mine had been, in a normal way like
    with another woman, then there might have been some hope for us. i loved my
    husband and would have made every attempt to work it out. but i'm glad he's
    dead. he had to be evil doing what he was doing. it was beyond pornography;
    i was naive; i didn't think such awful things like that happened. i wish i
    could have remained in the dark.
    i'm still relatively young and "pretty" but i'm afraid to ever trust another
    man. they all seem to be pigs.
    anyway, i wish you well traveller. i wish i could help but i think i'm even
    beyond that.
    maybe after a glimpse into my life, you won't feel so bad about yours.
    there may be hope. you need to spend time with him and begin to have an
    honest discussion. lay it all on the table and demand trutfulness. before
    you open any doors though, be prepared to walk through them.

    good luck,
    Cindy Stuart, Apr 19, 2005
  4. traveller

    Big Louie Guest

    Lke the night you dumped me, I knew there would be remorse.
    Big Louie, Apr 20, 2005
  5. lol Yeah, something like that...

    The Black Laced One, Apr 20, 2005
  6. COME OFF IT...
    If he cheats once he'll cheat twice...etc.
    Pack your bags or better yet, his ,and get the hell out of there. Yo
    wouldn't want to find out in 5/10 years that he's done it again. In
    couple of months you'll be wondering what you were doing with him fo
    so long anyways!
    maritimeredneck, Apr 20, 2005
  7. traveller

    Barney Guest

    I am a husband of 29 years. I don't fool around but I do look at
    attractive women. My wife knows at least I'm not dead yet. Why some
    husbands fool around, is because they feel honored to be still
    attractive to the opposite sex. I have never been vain nor expect to
    be attractive to other women. I was lucky enough to find a women who
    excepts me as I am. You are hurt because you feel he is more
    attracted to someone else. That may not be so. He is caught up in the
    fact he is still captivating to someone else. That may not be the
    case but the only way to find out is to directly ask him. In 20 years
    a mistake for one night shouldn't be the end of all you both enjoyed.
    Personaly I would never fall for the desire of another women. I don't
    know how I could live without my wife!
    Barney, Apr 21, 2005
  8. traveller

    ellis_jay Guest

    It's just sex. Don't worry about it.
    He released government from the restraint of law.
    ____Lord Acton on Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), George W. Bush, and
    the Straussian neocons

    ellis_jay, Apr 21, 2005
  9. traveller

    ellis_jay Guest

    Its just sex.

    He released government from the restraint of law.
    ____Lord Acton on Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), George W. Bush, and
    the Straussian neocons

    ellis_jay, Apr 21, 2005
  10. traveller

    ziggy Guest

    Yeah and it's also endangering your long term partners sexual
    health.....Once a cheetah, always a cheetah! They never change their
    spots ~;0)
    ziggy, Apr 21, 2005
  11. traveller

    ellis_jay Guest

    Don't you think that in itself is kinda strange? Think a brain
    disorder/disaster in the works affected his judgment? I would tend to think
    that it could and probably did to some degree and in some fashion. Maybe
    you need to consider that fact.

    Well you need to know that sometimes that when you click on something on the
    computer that rascals out in cyber space will load stuff to your computer
    that you did not want or ask for. Some of these things are viruses (no
    virii, see Mike?) and some are trojans. Heck, I clicked on a site the other
    day and low and behold there was some pictures of gals giving blow jobs and
    people screwing. This was completly unexpected and unwanted. I spent the
    next four days cleansing my computer of 4 viruses and a nasty trojan.

    That is why companies have virus cleaners to run on your computer and other
    cleaners to trash things off your computer and in to the trash barrel. Know
    also too, that other people may use my (your-his) computer and do things I
    (we) don't want them to do.

    Maybe it was-but think of this-maybe he was not due to his catastrophic (
    and chronic? ) breakdown and premature shut down of his life processes.

    Normal is as normal does, and dying of a brain explosion at such an early
    age is a shame.
    Then maybe you need to give him the benefit of the doubt on at least two
    fronts-considering the intrusive nature of cyber space on personal
    computers and his
    medical condition.
    And remain so, it seems to me, hon. Hell, you can't even make your keyboard
    type a capital letter. Why is that? Don't know much about computers? Why
    do you think your dead husband was so good at computer skills and therefore,
    with malice and intent , got those nasty things on his personal computer to
    sooth his perversion? Like I said, things like you described CAN get to
    your computer without your permission-without being deliberate and planned

    That's right. You just have not considered things you don't know about as
    far as computers and the internet and trojans and Browser Helper Objects
    that could corrupt your system with sneaky downloads and re-directs to ugly
    places without your permission or consent.
    You still may be there, unfortuneately.
    Lift your chin up and smile!
    Get on with your life.
    I guess. But some of us do wash our hands after we go to the bathroom!!
    Anywayz, we are the only game in town, unless a nunnery sounds good or a
    party down at Gayfers Bar N' Grill attracts ya!
    Stop the pity and move on. Re-think. Peace.

    The real act of discovery is not in finding new lands, but in seeing with
    new eyes."
    - Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922)
    ellis_jay, Apr 21, 2005
  12. traveller

    ellis_jay Guest

    Run away train?
    Yeah. That's what I told my first ex-wife. But, then, I was young, dumb,
    and full of cum...........and very proud. I just didn't realize that a
    woman could get lonely too, while her man is off to war. It did not matter
    to this young whelp that I had spent a few moments with Mama Sans Number-One
    Short-Time-Girl. A steambath, massage and a blow-job for 5 bucks-hell a guy
    can't beat those prices anywhere these days. And somehow, in my robust,
    hormonal-youthfilled brain, it just seemed different in 1967, that my
    cheating was somehow more moral, or more justified, or even meant less in
    the over-all scheme of things, than her cheating meant in the Universal
    Strings. Boy what a jerk I was.

    It was just sex. And it took me a long time to figure that out.
    Once a hippy, always a hippy! A stiff dick has no conscience. They ain't
    no bad pussy-only better pussy! They old enough to bleed, they old enough
    to breed!
    Enough with the cliches? Ok.

    The more a man can forget, the greater the number of metamorphoses which his
    life can undergo, the more he can remember the more divine his life becomes.

    _________Soren Kierkegaard

    I remember the jerk I use to be, Soren.

    ellis_jay, Apr 21, 2005
  13. traveller

    ziggy Guest

    Halcyon days, no Aids! Worse you got was a round of applause, whole
    different world now....I'm just glad I was there then too! I do feel
    sorry for the kids today, we had more freedom than they do in a lot
    of ways eh?

    ziggy, Apr 21, 2005
  14. traveller


    May 18, 2009
    Likes Received:
    I feel your pain

    2 months ago my husband of 23 years told me he was having a five year affair and left the same nite. He never sat down with our 17 yo and 21 yo. We are devastated. My kids have lost all respect for him and won't have anything to do with him. Like you I cry alot. It physically hurts. It makes you go over and over the past and feel worthless. I struggle every day with believing this has really happened. But I do believe that it has more to do with HIM than anything I did. People who cheat don't want to deal with problems. They don't value their marriage or their families no matter what they say. You make a commitment to your spouse and family period. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
    Read " the Language of Letting" Go by Melanie Beattie. See a counselor. Force yourself to do something nice for yourself every day.
    dlhc4, May 18, 2009
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