braindumps...you must be kidding

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by Vigo Breadcrumbs, May 6, 2004.

  1. Here's where I reveal my naivete, but what the heck.

    Way back when, when glaciers covered the earth, and I took the NT 3.51
    Server and Networking Essentials tests, I rememeber thinking that I
    would've been hard pressed to have made much more than a moronic stab at
    same had I not been using 3.51 Server and Workstation in a production
    environment. (That I was badly hung-over during the latter in no small
    measure, I'm sure, contributed to this view.) Thus, my perplexity at the
    frequent eruption of questions about braindumps in this group.

    Are these...individuals...just blissfully unaware of the flaming failures
    that await them should they take the tests after dump-consumption alone,
    and thus set to get their just reward? Does anyone actually have any
    degree of success, thus revealing the future of humanity is, indeed, grave?



    http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg
     
    Vigo Breadcrumbs, May 6, 2004
    #1
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  2. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    JaR Guest

    Far from it! They have been assured by multiple vendors' that the single
    barrier between them and that six-figure dream job is certification.
    Merely memorize a few dumps for $Amount of $Currency, and wealth,
    security, and that gorgeous blond in the red BMW is yours for the taking.
    Even when faced with incontrovertible proof, they still maintain their
    course, as witness the feuds that erupt in here from time to time.
    Assuredly! The counters at your local burger joint are staffed by the
    results of this process. MCSE is used as a benchmark for hiring warm
    bodies to man phone firewalls or install video cards at CompUSA.
    The future of humanity is secure, Wal-Mart will be opening a new mega
    store in your neighborhood soon.

    JaR
    Grim Thug
     
    JaR, May 6, 2004
    #2
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  3. Wal-Mart will be opening a new mega
    so that's where eddiepox went

    Kline Sphere (Chalk) MCNGP #3
     
    The Poster Formerly Known as Kline Sphere, May 6, 2004
    #3
  4. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Paul Guest

    KMart said I was over qualified...Where do I turn to?
     
    Paul, May 6, 2004
    #4
  5. Perhaps I should clarify: do they have any success with passing the
    tests? I know the connection between paper MCSE and the accoutrements
    of Royal Ease is tenuous, whatever the young and callow might believe.
    This seems to answer my preceeding question, and also explains the
    dilution of the credential I have witnessed my own personal self.
    Feh. Wal-Mart opened one of their first dozen 24 Hour Supercenters,
    almost eight years ago, in my neighborhood. Nothing new there. A high
    school friend of mine was the night manager there, after having failed
    to achieve the heights of success promised to him by a stint in the U.S.
    Army, contemporaneous with the (first) Gulf War. He did, however, put
    the slight insanity that resulted from, among other things, being
    bayonetted by an Iraqi soldier to good use, employing what he deemed
    "wall to wall discipline" in dealing with the crowds of big-pants-
    wearing youngsters who thought it was "cool" (if I'm using that term
    correctly) to demolish and/or steal merchandise in the wee hours. The
    stories were very amusing, in a retrograde sort of way.

    I myself would only employ a braindump strategy to secure an A+
    credential, and only if necessary to secure a first-tier desktop support
    position that pays no more than 30% of my previous salary. In this way,
    I can complete my personal humiliation by adding "lying, cheating
    ferret" to my catalog of personal ignominies.



    http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg
     
    Vigo Breadcrumbs, May 6, 2004
    #5
  6. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Neil Guest

    tell us a story uncle Vigo! (I love your stories....)
     
    Neil, May 6, 2004
    #6
  7. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Neil Guest

    this seems a waste of even a briandump.

    I've always wondered at the intellect behind the old brain dumps. some nut
    posting to a site "I FAILED xxx TODAY! here were my questions and the
    correct answers". Dumps I take in the toilet. I wonder about the guy who
    wants to put _THAT_ in his brain! (though mine are of the highest quality)
     
    Neil, May 6, 2004
    #7
  8. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    JaR Guest

    It was likely your attire. Put on a pair of oversize pants that show off
    your incredible taste in boxer shorts, make sure you have no less than
    eight pieces of metal stuck through parts of your face, and paint your
    fingernails black. That should impress the HR droid that you are truly
    K-Mart material. Tattoos are great for extra 'management trainee' points.

    JaR
    Sartorial Thug
     
    JaR, May 6, 2004
    #8
  9. Well, much like my stories (if I may be so bold), much of the humor was
    in the telling. It's amusing enough for me to say that he once told me
    how he hung one of these baggy-pantsed chaps by his beltloop on a wall-
    mounted coathook, causing the merchandise he'd stashed in his large
    trousers but refused to cough up to fall out on the floor, and left him
    there until the local constabulary arrived, but without Chris's sound
    and vision, they are significantly diminished.

    I will however offer a tale of how I was refused employment at a Sam's
    Club. I was typing it when this reply came up; I will post it shortly.



    http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg
     
    Vigo Breadcrumbs, May 6, 2004
    #9
  10. The other day, my 82-year-old but physically robust father was giving me a
    lift (the water pump in my own vehicle had begun leaking with great
    enthusiasm) when we passed a non-gender-spoecific individual, matching this
    very description, perambulating my street. The clothing on the lower part
    of its body was flapping with considerable amplitude in the breeze. Just
    after passing the thing, my father stopped the car, leaned way out the
    window, and surveyed the thing with a look that I suspect he might've worn
    last while dodging German shrapnel in 1944. He slowly sat back in his
    seat, with a look of total horror. He asked me, slowly, as if from a great
    distance, "were those...pants?" I told him, with great regret, that I
    could only say with certainty that they were pantesque, but no more. He
    sat, in stunned silence, for a further minute, then resumed driving. I
    suspect the world will never be the same for him.



    http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg
     
    Vigo Breadcrumbs, May 6, 2004
    #10
  11. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Neil Guest

    I wait with baited breath (no wonder no one hangs around my desk)
     
    Neil, May 6, 2004
    #11
  12. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Neil Guest

    your posts make my day...
     
    Neil, May 6, 2004
    #12
  13. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    Neil, you need a set of kneepads.
     
    Ken Briscoe, May 6, 2004
    #13
  14. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Rowdy Yates Guest

    IT & Computer certification today is not what it used to be 10 (or even 5!)
    years ago. The "dilution" you speak of is right across the board. All
    ventor and non-vendor cert. programs have been affected. It's not just
    Microsoft and it's burger flipin' MCSE's.

    the lurkers around here try to aviod the issue, cause it's not a fun time
    killer and everyone tends to go into pointless and endless debates untl
    they are blue in the face.....

    very similar to entering a "linux or microsoft? which is better?" argument.

    ding..dong the fries are done.....

    *can someone please post that again. i really want to see it again. i think
    a mcngp'er posted it 6 months ago. cracked me up like there's no
    tmmorow....*

    ..
    Rowdy Yates
     
    Rowdy Yates, May 6, 2004
    #14
  15. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Neil Guest

    this one?

    http://www.americanangst.com/dingfries.html
     
    Neil, May 7, 2004
    #15
  16. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Rowdy Yates Guest

    Rowdy Yates, May 7, 2004
    #16
  17. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Kendal Emery Guest

    Wow, they had braindumps way back then.......
     
    Kendal Emery, May 7, 2004
    #17
  18. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Kendal Emery Guest

    And a snorkle so you can still breathe

     
    Kendal Emery, May 7, 2004
    #18
  19. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Neil Guest

    fsckin' kids....the 3.51 server test was at least a little hard...
     
    Neil, May 7, 2004
    #19
  20. Vigo Breadcrumbs

    Mike T. Guest

    While I am in agreement with your sentiments re: dumpers, I believe you owe
    my two ferrets (Zora and Joey) an apology. My ferrets are honest
    thieves...no deception involved.

    Mike
     
    Mike T., May 8, 2004
    #20
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