A little humor to break the monotony.....

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Unk, Jan 15, 2004.

  1. Unk

    Unk Guest

    Holiday Inn or Nursing Home...............

    With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching
    $188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble. I
    have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a
    combined long term stay discount and senior discount of
    $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:

    1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.

    2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they
    provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer,
    dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all
    have free shampoo and soap.

    3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of
    tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

    4. There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
    The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

    5. To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays.

    6. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and
    eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the
    airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

    7. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday
    Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck
    in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even
    from city to city.

    8. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

    9. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress
    replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for
    the inconvenience.

    10. The Inn has a night security person and daily room
    service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they
    will call the undertaker or an ambulance.

    11. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the
    hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest
    of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They
    will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a
    few days mini-vacation.

    12. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

    So: Now when I reach that Golden age I'll face it with a grin.

    Just forward all my email to:
    Unk, Jan 15, 2004
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  2. Unk

    Boomer Guest

    LMAO! But so true. Will check to see if I can get a AAA discount on
    top of all this. ;)

    If I don't get the AAA discount, I'll take the shuttle from Motel 6
    and share your pool. ;)
    Boomer, Jan 15, 2004
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  3. Unk

    pcbutts1 Guest

    You forgot High speed internet. ;0)
    pcbutts1, Jan 15, 2004
  4. Unk

    Richard Guest

    If you stay in Las Vegas, or Atlantic City, you can spend that $100 a day
    you're saving on the slot machines.
    Who knows? You could win enough from the casino to pay for the room too.
    In Vegas, you can sit at any slot machine and get drunk at their expense.
    Since you have a room, they'll even tuck you in.
    Richard, Jan 15, 2004
  5. Unk

    Sano Guest

    If I neeed a home, the grandkids, if there are ever any, will swim in my
    pool, of drool. ;)~
    Sano, Jan 15, 2004
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