2010 football recruiting report.

Football Recruiting Report!!


It has finally arrived...the 2010 football scouting report. The following is currently
making the rounds of Division 1 football coaches:


Wayfron P. Jackson:
6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Texas in the last ten years.

Loves rap music. Will demand a mini-cassette in his helmet. Currently holds world
record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfron can
print his complete name. Signed with Tennessee.


Quinticious Jenkins:
6' 3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Triton High School, Dunn,
N.C.

Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2
seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Signed with Mississippi
State.



Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell:
6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back.. From Tyler, Texas. Has processed hair and imitates Billy
Dee Williams very well.

Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to
chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick." Signed with the
University of Houston.


Woodrow Lee Washington:
6' 8", 310 lbs. Tackle.. From a 4th generation welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21
children.

Mother claims Woodrow and child No. 9 have same father. He has a manslaughter trial
pending, but feels he will be found innocent because: "The dude said sumpin' bad
'bout my Momma." On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20/20. Signed with the
University of Texas.


Willie "Night Train" Smith:
6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27
years old.

Thinks the "N" on Nebraska 's helmets stands for "Nowledge," but still meets this
school's stringent entrance requirements.... Insists on wearing No. 32 jersey since it
matches his score on his SAT's. Signed with the University of Alabama.


Tyrone "Python" Peoples:
6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but
hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges.

Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges, but was also willing
to sign with us. Likes wild women and red Cadillac's. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican
Telephone Company. Signed with University of Miami.


Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali:
6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school ball under the name Sylvester Lee Jones
until he discovered religion.

Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville.. Doesn't know the
meaning of the word "fear." (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words, either.)
Signed with the University of Florida.

 

Now that is fun.