wife problem

Discussion in 'Computer Information' started by Nick Thornbury, Sep 19, 2004.

  1. My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    computer".

    I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    be.

    Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches


    ---
    Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004
    Nick Thornbury, Sep 19, 2004
    #1
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  2. Nick Thornbury

    JK Guest

    Do you have only one computer? If so, then perhaps you should get a
    second computer and give her your current one. If she is sitting there bored
    while you use your computer, it is not good.

    Nick Thornbury wrote:

    > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    > computer".
    >
    > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    > be.
    >
    > Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    > and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >
    > ---
    > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    > Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004
    JK, Sep 19, 2004
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Nick Thornbury

    Dave Guest

    Keep me and upgrade the wife. Seriously though, if you are spending that
    much time with your computer it might be time to turn the thing off.
    "Nick Thornbury" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    > computer".
    >
    > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    > be.
    >
    > Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    > and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >
    >
    > ---
    > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    > Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004
    >
    >
    Dave, Sep 19, 2004
    #3
  4. Nick Thornbury

    Chet Guest

    Show your wife how to use the computer then give her this link:

    http://www.eharmony.com/

    It might get her off your case.

    "Nick Thornbury" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    > computer".
    >
    > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    > be.
    >
    > Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    > and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >
    >
    > ---
    > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    > Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004
    >
    >
    Chet, Sep 19, 2004
    #4
  5. Nick Thornbury

    Plato Guest

    Nick Thornbury wrote:
    >
    > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    > computer".
    >
    > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    > be.


    Easy. Take every other day off from your PC. You;ll like the results.
    Plato, Sep 20, 2004
    #5
  6. Nick Thornbury

    Robert Baer Guest

    Nick Thornbury wrote:
    >
    > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    > computer".
    >
    > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    > be.
    >
    > Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    > and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >
    > ---
    > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    > Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004


    Exchange the computer for a "modern" MIL-MOD8 (8008 CPU) and its
    monitor program that allows use of a giant amount of memory (65K), and
    communications via a teletype.
    I can virtually guarantee she will pleased with the results.
    Robert Baer, Sep 20, 2004
    #6
  7. Nick Thornbury

    anna keynow Guest

    On Sun, 19 Sep 2004 15:00:28 +0100, "Nick Thornbury"
    <> wrote:

    >My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    >muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    >computer".
    >
    >I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    >be.
    >
    >Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    >and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >
    >
    >---

    The big question is, does she make good sandwiches? Because if you're
    not getting any sex, and the average shoulder temperature is in
    decline, this just may indicate that you really are spending too much
    time on the computer. Oh yeah, that and the general query regarding
    the expected duration of relationship with said computer.
    This is a lot more complicated than a simple OS upgrade. And, even if
    you are just kidding, and are really just asking whether XP will speed
    up your computer use, my answer would be that a helluva lot depends on
    your computer specs. Although in saying that, I've just partitioned
    the HDD, am running Me/XP (30gig/50gig), have a 900mhz Athlon CPU,
    256mb SDRAM, and the performance on XP seems to be much the same as
    when running ME.
    Still, I'm one of those rare beasts that never really had a problem
    with WinME.
    -+Anna+-
    PS: I will be happy to provide relationship guidance at a very
    reasonable rate. <g>
    anna keynow, Sep 20, 2004
    #7
  8. Nick Thornbury

    Bradley26 Guest

    sounds like your wife has a good concept of whats going on, as the husband
    you appear to be neglecting your duties and harming the woman you chose to
    marry one day.

    you are not keeping up with her, its a shameful thing, you have dishonored
    her and your family.

    by the time she has said such a thing, means that many months of neglect and
    damage has taken place already. its very selfish of you to let this happen.
    Ive seen it before, you may dismiss it, but as the husband you have allowed
    the marriage to disintegrate and you abandoned your wife

    like a person in a hospital it may take many months of recovery, you better
    be a man and save your marriage while you still can

    "Nick Thornbury" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    > computer".
    >
    > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    > be.
    >
    > Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    > and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >
    >
    > ---
    > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    > Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004
    >
    >
    Bradley26, Sep 20, 2004
    #8
  9. Nick Thornbury

    Tony Guest

    What you need to do is find a way to please your wife AND still get
    those awsome cheese sandwiches. As for the computer, IMHO ANYTHING is
    better than friggin' WinME! Hell, even OS-X might be an improvement.
    Atleast it's built on UNIX... right?

    Your wife may be acting that way because you are neglecting her. Now I
    am not saying that you are using your PC for frivoulus and un
    important reasons, but the computer will always be there, and you wife
    is a living, breathing creature. You should cherish every moment that
    you have with her because you never know what may happen.

    But honestly... Using WinME is just asking for trouble. But cheese
    sandwiches sound nice. :]

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    DO NOT REPLY TO . IT IS NOT MY REAL EMAIL. IT IS
    BEST TO REPLY TO THE GROUP ANYWAY.

    [adult swim]

    Thanx
    ┬╗Tony



    anna keynow <> wrote in message news:<>...
    > On Sun, 19 Sep 2004 15:00:28 +0100, "Nick Thornbury"
    > <> wrote:
    >
    > >My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > >muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    > >computer".
    > >
    > >I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    > >be.
    > >
    > >Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    > >and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    > >
    > >
    > >---

    > The big question is, does she make good sandwiches? Because if you're
    > not getting any sex, and the average shoulder temperature is in
    > decline, this just may indicate that you really are spending too much
    > time on the computer. Oh yeah, that and the general query regarding
    > the expected duration of relationship with said computer.
    > This is a lot more complicated than a simple OS upgrade. And, even if
    > you are just kidding, and are really just asking whether XP will speed
    > up your computer use, my answer would be that a helluva lot depends on
    > your computer specs. Although in saying that, I've just partitioned
    > the HDD, am running Me/XP (30gig/50gig), have a 900mhz Athlon CPU,
    > 256mb SDRAM, and the performance on XP seems to be much the same as
    > when running ME.
    > Still, I'm one of those rare beasts that never really had a problem
    > with WinME.
    > -+Anna+-
    > PS: I will be happy to provide relationship guidance at a very
    > reasonable rate. <g>
    Tony, Sep 20, 2004
    #9
  10. Nick Thornbury

    LPV Guest

    Nick Thornbury

    > > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that

    *******
    > > computer".
    > > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it

    should
    > > be.



    Good news - Cheese sandwich
    Bad news - Sex with a computer is not what it should be, either.


    > > Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth

    having
    > > and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches



    I'd suggest sticking with whichever OS you're most comfortable with. As far
    as the cheese sandwiches are concerned...as long as she gets them to you, I
    don't see a problem unless she's hitting the monitor and getting grease on
    it. Now *that* would be a problem.

    HTH

    Loren
    LPV, Sep 20, 2004
    #10
  11. Nick Thornbury

    Jerry G. Guest

    I did something like that. I upgraded the wife by giving her a computer,
    with some games that interest her. She now spends a lot of extra time on
    her games. This gives me time to do my own computer work.

    And, never put a TV in the bedroom!

    --

    J.G.
    ======

    "JK" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    Do you have only one computer? If so, then perhaps you should get a
    second computer and give her your current one. If she is sitting there
    bored
    while you use your computer, it is not good.

    Nick Thornbury wrote:

    > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that

    *******
    > computer".
    >
    > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it

    should
    > be.
    >
    > Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth

    having
    > and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >
    > ---
    > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    > Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004
    Jerry G., Sep 20, 2004
    #11
  12. My girlfriend hates my computer. And I know why. You have to surprise your
    wife every so often with gifts and flowers to let her know that you love her
    and that you know she is there ..... girls want constant attention ..... too
    bad.
    "Tony" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > What you need to do is find a way to please your wife AND still get
    > those awsome cheese sandwiches. As for the computer, IMHO ANYTHING is
    > better than friggin' WinME! Hell, even OS-X might be an improvement.
    > Atleast it's built on UNIX... right?
    >
    > Your wife may be acting that way because you are neglecting her. Now I
    > am not saying that you are using your PC for frivoulus and un
    > important reasons, but the computer will always be there, and you wife
    > is a living, breathing creature. You should cherish every moment that
    > you have with her because you never know what may happen.
    >
    > But honestly... Using WinME is just asking for trouble. But cheese
    > sandwiches sound nice. :]
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > DO NOT REPLY TO . IT IS NOT MY REAL EMAIL. IT IS
    > BEST TO REPLY TO THE GROUP ANYWAY.
    >
    > [adult swim]
    >
    > Thanx
    > ┬╗Tony
    >
    >
    >
    > anna keynow <> wrote in message
    > news:<>...
    >> On Sun, 19 Sep 2004 15:00:28 +0100, "Nick Thornbury"
    >> <> wrote:
    >>
    >> >My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    >> >muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that
    >> >*******
    >> >computer".
    >> >
    >> >I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it
    >> >should
    >> >be.
    >> >
    >> >Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth
    >> >having
    >> >and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >---

    >> The big question is, does she make good sandwiches? Because if you're
    >> not getting any sex, and the average shoulder temperature is in
    >> decline, this just may indicate that you really are spending too much
    >> time on the computer. Oh yeah, that and the general query regarding
    >> the expected duration of relationship with said computer.
    >> This is a lot more complicated than a simple OS upgrade. And, even if
    >> you are just kidding, and are really just asking whether XP will speed
    >> up your computer use, my answer would be that a helluva lot depends on
    >> your computer specs. Although in saying that, I've just partitioned
    >> the HDD, am running Me/XP (30gig/50gig), have a 900mhz Athlon CPU,
    >> 256mb SDRAM, and the performance on XP seems to be much the same as
    >> when running ME.
    >> Still, I'm one of those rare beasts that never really had a problem
    >> with WinME.
    >> -+Anna+-
    >> PS: I will be happy to provide relationship guidance at a very
    >> reasonable rate. <g>
    Hank Sniadoch, Sep 21, 2004
    #12
  13. Having read all the useful replies can I say a big thankyou.
    I am wondering whether Xp will overcome the problems I have with Me and thus
    give me more time to spend with wifey poo, Frequent crashes and other
    problemos mean It takes half a day to get an outlook message what wiv the
    uninstalling and then installing.

    The cheese sandwiches are quite nice and she is a rather splendid cook. I
    did get the message with Microsoft Flight sim when she appeared with a meal
    in a plastic tray and a plastic knife and fork.

    But thanks y`all

    Nick


    ---
    Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004
    Nick Thornbury, Sep 21, 2004
    #13
  14. Nick Thornbury

    Derek F. Guest

    "Plato" <|@|.|> wrote in message
    news:414e2ef1$0$26020$...
    > Nick Thornbury wrote:
    >>
    >> My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    >> muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    >> computer".
    >>
    >> I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it
    >> should
    >> be.

    >
    > Easy. Take every other day off from your PC. You;ll like the results.
    >
    >

    A guy I used to work with used to say,"Sex, I'd sooner have a cheese
    sandwich"
    Derek.
    Derek F., Sep 22, 2004
    #14
  15. Nick Thornbury

    Plato Guest

    Derek F. wrote:
    >
    > > Easy. Take every other day off from your PC. You;ll like the results.
    > >

    > A guy I used to work with used to say,"Sex, I'd sooner have a cheese
    > sandwich"


    If your wife doesn't shower that often, perhaps it;s the same thing eh?
    Plato, Sep 23, 2004
    #15
  16. Nick Thornbury

    ProfGene Guest

    One advantage of XP is that it recognizes more plug and play hardware
    without need for drivers but for cheese sandwiches it will require the
    drivers.
    "Nick Thornbury" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    > computer".
    >
    > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    > be.
    >
    > Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    > and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >
    >
    > ---
    > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    > Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004
    >
    >
    ProfGene, Sep 25, 2004
    #16
  17. Nick Thornbury

    Justin Guest

    > Good news - Cheese sandwich
    > Bad news - Sex with a computer is not what it should be, either.



    I'm still waiting for there to be a human brain nueral network interface,
    so I can plug my PC into my brain and have coitus with Sherilyn Fenn, Jenny
    McCarthy, or Carmen Electra for $19.99 with FULL sensory inputs straight to
    the brain -- taste, smell, touch, sight, sound, etc..


    -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
    http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
    -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----
    Justin, Sep 30, 2004
    #17
  18. Nick Thornbury

    Geoh 37 Guest

    >Nick Wrote
    The cheese sandwiches are quite nice and she is a rather splendid cook.
    I did get the message with Microsoft Flight sim when she appeared with a
    meal in a plastic tray and a plastic knife and fork.

    >Reply

    Was she naked, or didn't you notice.

    <G>

    http://community-2.webtv.net/Geo_H/RecentPictures/
    Geoh 37, Oct 1, 2004
    #18
  19. Nick Thornbury

    Matt Pascoe Guest

    Try shagging the dog

    "Nick Thornbury" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > My wife has just come upstairs and thrown a cheese sandwich at me and
    > muttered something like "are you going to spend your life on that *******
    > computer".
    >
    > I have noticed a slight cold shoulder lately and sex is not what it should
    > be.
    >
    > Do you think I ought to get a better OS than Windows Me Is Xp worth having
    > and will it give me more time with she who throws sandwiches
    >
    >
    > ---
    > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
    > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    > Version: 6.0.766 / Virus Database: 513 - Release Date: 17/09/2004
    >
    >
    Matt Pascoe, Oct 7, 2004
    #19
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