Why do we need nursing homes?

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Phil B., Jan 16, 2004.

  1. Phil B.

    Phil B. Guest

    Holiday Inn or Nursing Home...............

    With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is
    a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on
    reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and
    senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:

    1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.

    2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a
    swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free
    toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

    3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day
    will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

    4. There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
    The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

    5. To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays.

    6. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one of
    the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
    Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

    7. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take
    your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can
    move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

    8. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

    9. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
    problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

    10. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid
    checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an
    ambulance.

    11. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday
    Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries
    about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and
    probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

    12. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?
     
    Phil B., Jan 16, 2004
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. Phil B.

    slumpy Guest

    Voicing an opinion as worthless as a wino at a wedding, Phil B.
    postulated...

    > Holiday Inn or Nursing Home...............


    > 10. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The
    > maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the
    > undertaker or an ambulance.


    Not in that order though hopefully ?
    --
    slumpy
    A tip for the Scott Lifshine: Unskilled and Unaware of It - How Difficulties
    in
    Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments
    http://www.apa.org/journals/psp/psp7761121.html
     
    slumpy, Jan 16, 2004
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Phil B.

    Patch Guest

    "Phil B." <> wrote in message
    news:NDVNb.49143$...
    > Holiday Inn or Nursing Home...............
    >
    > With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there

    is
    > a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on
    > reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and
    > senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:
    >
    > 1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
    >
    > 2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a
    > swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have

    free
    > toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
    >
    > 3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day
    > will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
    >
    > 4. There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
    > The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
    >
    > 5. To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays.
    >
    > 6. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one

    of
    > the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
    > Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
    >
    > 7. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will

    take
    > your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you

    can
    > move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
    >
    > 8. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
    >
    > 9. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
    > problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
    >
    > 10. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid
    > checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an
    > ambulance.
    >
    > 11. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and

    Holiday
    > Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries
    > about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and
    > probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
    >
    > 12. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?
    >
    > .
    >
    >
    >
    > When you shit yourself, who's going to come in and clean you up?
     
    Patch, Jan 16, 2004
    #3
  4. Phil B.

    Juan Pérez Guest

    Patch <> wrote:
    >
    > "Phil B." <> wrote:
    > > Holiday Inn or Nursing Home...............

    <super clip>
    > >
    > > 12. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?


    > > When you shit yourself, who's going to come in and clean you up?

    >

    Jump in the pool with the grandkids?
     
    Juan Pérez, Jan 17, 2004
    #4
    1. Advertising

Want to reply to this thread or ask your own question?

It takes just 2 minutes to sign up (and it's free!). Just click the sign up button to choose a username and then you can ask your own questions on the forum.
Similar Threads
  1. Christopher Lane

    nursery nursing and child care

    Christopher Lane, Jun 17, 2004, in forum: Computer Support
    Replies:
    3
    Views:
    421
    Avenger©
    Jun 18, 2004
  2. FML

    A new way to power our homes?

    FML, Jul 17, 2005, in forum: Computer Support
    Replies:
    4
    Views:
    426
    Top (retired)
    Jul 18, 2005
  3. GreaseBall Italian

    Nursing Info Needed

    GreaseBall Italian, Sep 29, 2003, in forum: Digital Photography
    Replies:
    3
    Views:
    444
    Wilson Lamb
    Sep 29, 2003
  4. Replies:
    3
    Views:
    781
    Plato
    Jun 17, 2006
  5. Replies:
    0
    Views:
    555
Loading...

Share This Page