Typical XP install.

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Kenny, Aug 19, 2005.

  1. Kenny

    Kenny Guest

    YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
    CONTINUE?

    Yes.

    ARE YOU REALLY SURE?

    Yes.

    ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?

    *****yes!******

    OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL
    YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI-TRUST"
    NONSENSE. INGRATE.

    Just get on with it.

    ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR
    COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.

    Groan.

    THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT LET
    YOU INSTALL XP.

    Problems? What problems?

    THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE MOTHERBOARD.

    But I'm using it at this very moment.

    THAT IS IRRELEVANT.

    But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't very
    well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't...

    DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC DOES
    NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS: WINDOWS XP IS
    INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS,
    MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE,
    MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.

    All that?

    YES. AND THE HARD DRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.

    Well what *DOES* work?

    THE MOUSE.

    The mouse?

    YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.

    I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.

    YES YOU DO.

    No I don't.

    WHAT'S THAT THEN?

    It's a 3 1/2 drive.

    NO IT ISN'T.

    Yes it is.

    YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.

    Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the latest
    drivers for everything later? Please?

    WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?

    Well it is mine.

    NO IT ISN'T.

    It bloody well is.

    NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX. OUR SYSTEM. IT'S
    OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.

    But why?

    BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDIOT. WE CAN'T VERY WELL HAVE PEOPLE
    PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW
    COULD WE? YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN WHERE WOULD WE BE?
    I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S WHERE. I... HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE
    YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT
    PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT DISK? IS THAT DOS?
    YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE
    POWE..........

    --

    Kenny Cargill
     
    Kenny, Aug 19, 2005
    #1
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  2. Kenny

    Fred Guest

    Kenny, <>, whose name means "hairy spike-faggot; smokes fifty
    a day; you'll want to kill him within a week", aspersed:

    > YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
    > CONTINUE?


    Who in their right mind would want to do that, Kenny?

    > Yes.


    I don't have a beak.

    > ARE YOU REALLY SURE?


    Are you trying to seduce me?

    > Yes.


    How little you know.

    > ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?


    Of course, dear.

    > OK, THEN.


    Okay, there must be some smart ones.

    > JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW.


    Just get out of here.

    > IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE
    > "ANTI-TRUST" NONSENSE.


    I understand, don't you?

    > INGRATE.


    I am wondering if you can review this paper for publication, keeping it in
    the strictest confidence.

    > Just get on with it.


    Just like a tree.

    > ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP.


    If your intent is to give another user the same access and privileges as
    another user then all you have to do is rename that account.

    > FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR COMPATIBILITY.


    My nose is itching; it must be the truth.

    > THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.


    This is just the beginning.

    > Groan.


    You're reaching absurd proportions, aren't you?

    > THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT
    > LET YOU INSTALL XP.


    I wouldn't know about that but I can tell you don't start a new thread with
    the same question.

    > Problems?


    You just don't know.

    > What problems?


    What else are you going to do, go to Church?

    > THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE
    > MOTHERBOARD.


    ATI are shit. Buy an nVidia.

    > But I'm using it at this very moment.


    It's just another friend.

    > THAT IS IRRELEVANT.


    That's the best way to handle someone like that. Let 'em think they're
    smart.

    > But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't
    > very well see this warning message telling me that the video WINDOWS XP IS
    > INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY
    > CHIPS, MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB CONTROLLER,
    > CD/R DRIVE, MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.


    Have you tried at all?

    > All that?


    That was quick.

    > YES.


    You're so immature.

    > HELP! My brain has fallen out!


    It could be worse. You might have had to go to the doctor and get a huge,
    stinking, rotting lump of flesh removed from the neck up.

    > AND THE HARD DRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO.


    Sorry I can't help you with that. Never used one.

    > WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.


    Why don't you?

    > Well what *DOES* work?


    What database do you use?

    > THE MOUSE.


    The same to you.

    > The mouse?


    The ultimate.

    > YES.


    How many people just walk away from you?

    > AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.


    And who else?

    > I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.


    Why don't you have a 5 1/4 drive?

    > YES YOU DO.


    I learned it from you.

    > No I don't.


    Why not?

    > WHAT'S THAT THEN?


    Is that really necessary?

    > It's a 3 1/2 drive.


    It's a skill.

    > NO IT ISN'T.


    It's a great place to go topless.

    > Yes it is.


    It's against my principles.

    > YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.


    I'm in a different school.

    > Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the latest
    > drivers for everything later?


    Can I give you a little friendly advice?

    > Please?


    Please what?

    > WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?


    I meant exactly what was written. What you say it means is as irrelevant as
    you are.

    > Well it is mine.


    It's fate.

    > NO IT ISN'T.


    It's not that different from heaven.

    > It bloody well is.


    It doesn't cost that much.

    > NUH-UH.


    Delusions of grandeur and happiness don't mix.

    > I worry far more about disappointing others than about letting myself
    > down.


    The phone rings during sex. Do you answer it?

    > YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX.


    I have my own rules.

    > OUR SYSTEM.


    You better watch what you say to me. [From a venting police officer]

    > IT'S OURS.


    It's called Three Wishes. Did you see it?

    > AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.


    Money makes the world go round.

    > But why?


    Why is that?

    > BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDIOT.


    I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

    > WE CAN'T VERY WELL HAVE PEOPLE PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR
    > SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW COULD WE?


    People don't have thoughts and feelings. They have realisations.

    > YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN HEY, WHAT IS THAT?


    That's a question, you fucking moron.

    > WHAT ARE YOU DOING?


    I am a bot. What are you?

    > IS THAT A DISK?


    Is that good or bad?

    > WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK?


    I am a bot. What are you?

    > YOU'RE NOT PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU?


    I'm waiting for my husband.

    > YOU ARE!


    I'm going to try it.

    > WHAT'S ON THAT DISK?


    What's this crap? Only bourgeois eat stuff like that.

    > IS THAT DOS?


    Is that your natural hair colour?

    > YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?


    I'm trying to figure out if that's a compliment or an insult.

    > WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE
    > POWE..........


    Get rid of SP2.
     
    Fred, Aug 19, 2005
    #2
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