to yank scumbags out there

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by billyw, Jan 11, 2004.

  1. billyw

    billyw Guest

    just remember..
    your is not the only nation full of idiots

    BE VERY PROUD TO BE BRITISH BECAUSE...

    Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.



    Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
    back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
    cigarettes at the front.



    Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
    DIET coke.



    Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
    counters.



    Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
    and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.



    Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
    have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
    talk to in the first place.



    Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
    rink.



    NOT TO MENTION...



    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.



    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.



    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.



    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
    fairy lights were plugged in.



    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
    were chocolate.



    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
    accidents.



    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
    the soles of their feet



    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    cigarette in their mouth.



    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening
    bottles of beer with their teeth.



    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
    Scalextric cars.



    And finally.........



    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    Toilet............................





    RULE BRITANNIA!
     
    billyw, Jan 11, 2004
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. billyw

    Tom Kitta Guest

    And one Brit borrowed this joke from Americans...

    TK

    "billyw" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > just remember..
    > your is not the only nation full of idiots
    >
    > BE VERY PROUD TO BE BRITISH BECAUSE...
    >
    > Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
    >
    >
    >
    > Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to

    the
    > back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
    > cigarettes at the front.
    >
    >
    >
    > Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and

    a
    > DIET coke.
    >
    >
    >
    > Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to

    the
    > counters.
    >
    >
    >
    > Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
    > and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
    >
    >
    >
    > Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
    > have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
    > talk to in the first place.
    >
    >
    >
    > Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
    > rink.
    >
    >
    >
    > NOT TO MENTION...
    >
    >
    >
    > 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    >
    >
    >
    > 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    >
    >
    >
    > 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    > screwdrivers.
    >
    >
    >
    > 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
    > fairy lights were plugged in.
    >
    >
    >
    > 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas

    decorations
    > were chocolate.
    >
    >
    >
    > British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
    > accidents.
    >
    >
    >
    > 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
    > the soles of their feet
    >
    >
    >
    > 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    > cigarette in their mouth.
    >
    >
    >
    > A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after

    opening
    > bottles of beer with their teeth.
    >
    >
    >
    > 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
    > Scalextric cars.
    >
    >
    >
    > And finally.........
    >
    >
    >
    > In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    > Toilet............................
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > RULE BRITANNIA!
    >
    >
     
    Tom Kitta, Jan 12, 2004
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. billyw

    billyw Guest

    ok then you are the only nation full of idiots..
    happy now

    "Tom Kitta" <> wrote in message
    news:eek:OpMb.5347$...
    > And one Brit borrowed this joke from Americans...
    >
    > TK
    >
    > "billyw" <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    > > just remember..
    > > your is not the only nation full of idiots
    > >
    > > BE VERY PROUD TO BE BRITISH BECAUSE...
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an

    ambulance.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to

    > the
    > > back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
    > > cigarettes at the front.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,

    and
    > a
    > > DIET coke.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to

    > the
    > > counters.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the

    drive
    > > and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
    > > have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
    > > talk to in the first place.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a

    skating
    > > rink.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > NOT TO MENTION...
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    > > screwdrivers.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
    > > fairy lights were plugged in.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas

    > decorations
    > > were chocolate.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
    > > accidents.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out

    of
    > > the soles of their feet
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    > > cigarette in their mouth.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after

    > opening
    > > bottles of beer with their teeth.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
    > > Scalextric cars.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > And finally.........
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    > > Toilet............................
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > RULE BRITANNIA!
    > >
    > >

    >
    >
     
    billyw, Jan 12, 2004
    #3
  4. billyw

    Sgt Galaxy Guest

    Tsk!

    Don't fight children!

    >-----Original Message-----
    >ok then you are the only nation full of idiots..
    >happy now
    >
    >"Tom Kitta" <> wrote in message
    >news:eek:OpMb.5347$...
    >> And one Brit borrowed this joke from Americans...
    >>
    >> TK
    >>
    >> "billyw" <> wrote in message
    >> news:...
    >> > just remember..
    >> > your is not the only nation full of idiots
    >> >
    >> > BE VERY PROUD TO BE BRITISH BECAUSE...
    >> >
    >> > Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house

    faster than an
    >ambulance.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people

    walk all the way to
    >> the
    >> > back of the shop to get their prescriptions while

    healthy people can buy
    >> > cigarettes at the front.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > Only in Britain... do people order double

    cheeseburgers, large fries,
    >and
    >> a
    >> > DIET coke.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open

    and chain the pens to
    >> the
    >> > counters.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands

    of pounds on the
    >drive
    >> > and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to

    screen calls and then
    >> > have call waiting so we won't miss a call from

    someone we didn't want to
    >> > talk to in the first place.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places

    in front of a
    >skating
    >> > rink.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > NOT TO MENTION...
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works

    on their tongue.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all

    pins from new shirts.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives

    instead of
    >> > screwdrivers.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their

    Christmas tree while the
    >> > fairy lights were plugged in.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing

    that Christmas
    >> decorations
    >> > were chocolate.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year

    after cracker pulling
    >> > accidents.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of

    plastic toys pulled out
    >of
    >> > the soles of their feet
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new

    jumper with a lit
    >> > cigarette in their mouth.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last

    two years after
    >> opening
    >> > bottles of beer with their teeth.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents

    involving out of control
    >> > Scalextric cars.
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > And finally.........
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst

    throwing up into the
    >> > Toilet............................
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > RULE BRITANNIA!
    >> >
    >> >

    >>
    >>

    >
    >
    >.
    >
     
    Sgt Galaxy, Jan 12, 2004
    #4
  5. billyw

    kpg Guest

    > 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    You can die by testing a 9v battery on your tongue? Really? Geez...I do
    that all the time and I havn't died even once.
     
    kpg, Jan 12, 2004
    #5
  6. billyw

    billyw Guest

    if you do, let us know

    "kpg" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > > 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    >
    > You can die by testing a 9v battery on your tongue? Really? Geez...I do
    > that all the time and I havn't died even once.
    >
    >
     
    billyw, Jan 12, 2004
    #6
  7. kpg wrote:
    >> 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    >
    > You can die by testing a 9v battery on your tongue? Really?
    > Geez...I do that all the time and I havn't died even once.


    Perhaps they failed to mention that the three persons doing said battery
    testing were also taking a leak on the third rail at the time.

    --
    Fris "Uses handicapped parking placard when he goes roller skating" bee®
    MCNGP #13

    http://www.mcngp.tk
    The MCNGP Team - We're here to help

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
    Certaholics - We're here if you're beyond help
     
    =?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=, Jan 12, 2004
    #7
  8. "Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    >
    > Fris "Uses handicapped parking placard when he goes roller skating" bee®
    > MCNGP #13
    >


    Why do some parking garage elevators have brail on the floor number buttons?

    --
    Politician Spock
    Thug #24601
     
    Politician Spock, Jan 12, 2004
    #8
  9. Politician Spock wrote:
    > "Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    >>
    >> Fris "Uses handicapped parking placard when he goes roller skating"
    >> bee® MCNGP #13
    >>

    >
    > Why do some parking garage elevators have brail on the floor number
    > buttons?


    Because the drivers are too short to reach them.

    --
    Fris "HTH HAND" bee® MCNGP #13

    http://www.mcngp.tk
    The MCNGP Team - We're here to help

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
    Certaholics - We're here if you're beyond help
     
    =?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=, Jan 12, 2004
    #9
  10. billyw

    Rowdy Yates Guest

    Hey Billy! What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

    billyw wrote:

    > just remember..
    > your is not the only nation full of idiots
    >
    > BE VERY PROUD TO BE BRITISH BECAUSE...
    >
    > Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
    >
    > Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
    > back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
    > cigarettes at the front.
    >
    > Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
    > DIET coke.
    >
    > Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
    > counters.
    >
    > Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
    > and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
    >
    > Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
    > have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
    > talk to in the first place.
    >
    > Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
    > rink.
    >
    > NOT TO MENTION...
    >
    > 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    >
    > 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    >
    > 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    > screwdrivers.
    >
    > 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
    > fairy lights were plugged in.
    >
    > 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
    > were chocolate.
    >
    > British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
    > accidents.
    >
    > 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
    > the soles of their feet
    >
    > 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    > cigarette in their mouth.
    >
    > A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening
    > bottles of beer with their teeth.
    >
    > 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
    > Scalextric cars.
    >
    > And finally.........
    >
    > In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    > Toilet............................
    >
    > RULE BRITANNIA!


    --
    Rowdy Yates
    ===============
    I am Against-TCPA
    http://www.againsttcpa.com
    ===============
    "remove the "remove-this" to email me"
     
    Rowdy Yates, Jan 12, 2004
    #10
  11. billyw

    Rowdy Yates Guest

    Christopher Walken!

    Rowdy Yates wrote:

    > Hey Billy! What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
    >
    > billyw wrote:
    >
    > > just remember..
    > > your is not the only nation full of idiots
    > >
    > > BE VERY PROUD TO BE BRITISH BECAUSE...
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
    > > back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
    > > cigarettes at the front.
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
    > > DIET coke.
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
    > > counters.
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
    > > and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
    > > have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
    > > talk to in the first place.
    > >
    > > Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
    > > rink.
    > >
    > > NOT TO MENTION...
    > >
    > > 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    > >
    > > 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    > >
    > > 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    > > screwdrivers.
    > >
    > > 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
    > > fairy lights were plugged in.
    > >
    > > 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
    > > were chocolate.
    > >
    > > British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
    > > accidents.
    > >
    > > 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
    > > the soles of their feet
    > >
    > > 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    > > cigarette in their mouth.
    > >
    > > A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening
    > > bottles of beer with their teeth.
    > >
    > > 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
    > > Scalextric cars.
    > >
    > > And finally.........
    > >
    > > In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    > > Toilet............................
    > >
    > > RULE BRITANNIA!

    >
    > --
    > Rowdy Yates
    > ===============
    > I am Against-TCPA
    > http://www.againsttcpa.com
    > ===============
    > "remove the "remove-this" to email me"


    --
    Rowdy Yates
    ===============
    I am Against-TCPA
    http://www.againsttcpa.com
    ===============
    "remove the "remove-this" to email me"
     
    Rowdy Yates, Jan 12, 2004
    #11
    1. Advertising

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