This is how a real gentleman should treat a lady

Discussion in 'Digital Photography' started by ilyashambat@mailinator.com, May 18, 2005.

  1. Guest

    I must say, the quality of discourse in this country has taken a sharp
    plunge of late, not only among the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells from
    whom one expects coarse speech, but among gentlemen of letters and
    esteem. I have, with my own ears, several times in the past week, heard
    the elder sons of prominent families introduce into mixed company
    subjects formerly reserved for private discussion among gentlemen. It
    pains me even to raise this point, but following a string of recent
    events, there is no question that the adage bears repeating: A
    gentleman ought never to disclose who sucked him off.

    This needn't mean a gentleman must limit the discussion of his exploits
    to his journal. If a gentleman has met a young lady and taken her to
    his digs, it is his right and privilege to tell his friends and
    coworkers about the encounter. However, it is the mark of a true
    gentleman to omit his lady friend's name from the discussion of her
    pussy's tightness.

    Why, I had assumed that this custom and others like it were universal
    and well understood, but as long as I am spelling out the Rules of the
    Gentleman, allow me to introduce several other equally important but
    oft-neglected guidelines.

    Should a gentleman find himself alone with a lady, he should not simply
    undo his pants and come in her hole. A gentleman knows that it is good
    manners to coax his lady friend's heels as far above her head as they
    will go, to "split the reed," and perhaps to turn his lady over and
    give it to her "doggy style." A gentleman knows that a true lady enjoys
    a moderate amount of hair-pulling and ass-grabbing, taking these
    attentions as marks of affection and virility. However, a gentleman
    knows where to draw the line. He never lodges his lady friend's head
    between the couch cushions.

    A gentleman occasionally will have more than one guest at his home.
    Should he see that jealousy is breeding between the two ladies whom he
    is hosting, a gentleman does not say, "Whoa, ladies, there's enough of
    me to go around!" The gentleman, valuing decorum and discretion above
    all else in his paramours, gently guides his guests' heads from his
    penis and informs them that if they do not act like ladies, he will
    have to ask them both to leave.

    When up to his nuts in a lady's guts, a gentleman knows that it is
    quite impolite to smoke, talk politics, or take phone calls. Should his
    cell phone ring, the gentleman says, "Excuse me, I need to take this."
    He withdraws his penis from his lady friend and keeps his phone
    conversation brief. When he has completed his call, a gentleman gently
    reinserts his dick into his lady.

    Of course, a gentleman who is not a smoker keeps an ashtray on his
    balcony for his lady friends who wish to smoke.

    It should go without saying that, once he has arranged for a paid lady
    of the night to meet him at his home, a gentleman does not jerk off
    several times while awaiting her arrival, in order to "get his money's
    worth."

    A gentleman knows that accidents happen. While it is an unfortunate and
    boorish behavior that should be kept to a minimum, a gentleman always
    apologizes to a lady after he mistakenly shoots his load inside of her.

    A gentleman never comes in a lady's eyes.

    While he knows that a lady gets pleasure out of pleasuring him, and he
    will occasionally increase the intensity of that pleasure by gentle
    force, a gentleman will never choke a woman on his cock.

    If a gentleman wishes to attend to a lady's pleasure through oral
    manipulation, no matter what the state of affairs below, he always
    politely completes his task. A gentleman ought never to fan his hand in
    the air, grimace and make a show of removing a pubic hair from his
    teeth, or compare his lady friend's vulva to two strips of partially
    grilled fajita meat.

    A gentleman knows that it is considered good manners to have an
    unopened toothbrush on hand for his lady friend, in the event that she
    should like to freshen up after eating his ass.

    Breeding needn't amount to priggishness. On the contrary, a gentleman
    knows that good old-fashioned manners will likely increase his social
    engagements, once word gets out that he is not one to splooge and tell.
    But I beg the reader, for the sake of tradition and all that is decent,
    to remember that a true gentleman does not ever, under any
    circumstances, go ass to mouth.
    , May 18, 2005
    #1
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  2. Guest

    wrote:
    >
    > A gentleman knows that it is considered good manners to have an
    > unopened toothbrush on hand for his lady friend, in the event that

    she
    > should like to freshen up after eating his ass.
    >


    Its always best to :clean: one's nostrils to keep the women at bay and
    then offering to shake their hands.

    I honesty dont know why women are so backwards.
    , May 18, 2005
    #2
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  3. j r sherman Guest

    In article <>,
    says...
    >
    >I must say, the quality of discourse in this country has taken a sharp
    >plunge of late, not only among the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells from
    >whom one expects coarse speech, but among gentlemen of letters and
    >esteem. I have, with my own ears, several times in the past week, heard
    >the elder sons of prominent families introduce into mixed company
    >subjects formerly reserved for private discussion among gentlemen. It
    >pains me even to raise this point, but following a string of recent
    >events, there is no question that the adage bears repeating: A
    >gentleman ought never to disclose who sucked him off.
    >
    >This needn't mean a gentleman must limit the discussion of his exploits
    >to his journal. If a gentleman has met a young lady and taken her to
    >his digs, it is his right and privilege to tell his friends and
    >coworkers about the encounter. However, it is the mark of a true
    >gentleman to omit his lady friend's name from the discussion of her
    >pussy's tightness.
    >
    >Why, I had assumed that this custom and others like it were universal
    >and well understood, but as long as I am spelling out the Rules of the
    >Gentleman, allow me to introduce several other equally important but
    >oft-neglected guidelines.
    >
    >Should a gentleman find himself alone with a lady, he should not simply
    >undo his pants and come in her hole. A gentleman knows that it is good
    >manners to coax his lady friend's heels as far above her head as they
    >will go, to "split the reed," and perhaps to turn his lady over and
    >give it to her "doggy style." A gentleman knows that a true lady enjoys
    >a moderate amount of hair-pulling and ass-grabbing, taking these
    >attentions as marks of affection and virility. However, a gentleman
    >knows where to draw the line. He never lodges his lady friend's head
    >between the couch cushions.
    >
    >A gentleman occasionally will have more than one guest at his home.
    >Should he see that jealousy is breeding between the two ladies whom he
    >is hosting, a gentleman does not say, "Whoa, ladies, there's enough of
    >me to go around!" The gentleman, valuing decorum and discretion above
    >all else in his paramours, gently guides his guests' heads from his
    >penis and informs them that if they do not act like ladies, he will
    >have to ask them both to leave.
    >
    >When up to his nuts in a lady's guts, a gentleman knows that it is
    >quite impolite to smoke, talk politics, or take phone calls. Should his
    >cell phone ring, the gentleman says, "Excuse me, I need to take this."
    >He withdraws his penis from his lady friend and keeps his phone
    >conversation brief. When he has completed his call, a gentleman gently
    >reinserts his dick into his lady.
    >
    >Of course, a gentleman who is not a smoker keeps an ashtray on his
    >balcony for his lady friends who wish to smoke.
    >
    >It should go without saying that, once he has arranged for a paid lady
    >of the night to meet him at his home, a gentleman does not jerk off
    >several times while awaiting her arrival, in order to "get his money's
    >worth."
    >
    >A gentleman knows that accidents happen. While it is an unfortunate and
    >boorish behavior that should be kept to a minimum, a gentleman always
    >apologizes to a lady after he mistakenly shoots his load inside of her.
    >
    >A gentleman never comes in a lady's eyes.
    >
    >While he knows that a lady gets pleasure out of pleasuring him, and he
    >will occasionally increase the intensity of that pleasure by gentle
    >force, a gentleman will never choke a woman on his cock.
    >
    >If a gentleman wishes to attend to a lady's pleasure through oral
    >manipulation, no matter what the state of affairs below, he always
    >politely completes his task. A gentleman ought never to fan his hand in
    >the air, grimace and make a show of removing a pubic hair from his
    >teeth, or compare his lady friend's vulva to two strips of partially
    >grilled fajita meat.
    >
    >A gentleman knows that it is considered good manners to have an
    >unopened toothbrush on hand for his lady friend, in the event that she
    >should like to freshen up after eating his ass.
    >
    >Breeding needn't amount to priggishness. On the contrary, a gentleman
    >knows that good old-fashioned manners will likely increase his social
    >engagements, once word gets out that he is not one to splooge and tell.
    >But I beg the reader, for the sake of tradition and all that is decent,
    >to remember that a true gentleman does not ever, under any
    >circumstances, go ass to mouth.



    and you keep asking yourself why you haven't had sex in decades?

    you need to ask?


    --
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    "I saw a werewolf drinkin' a pina colada at Trader Vic's
    And his hair was perfect."
    Warren Zevon
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    j r sherman, May 18, 2005
    #3
  4. Guest

    This post was not made by Ilya Shambat.

    wrote:
    > I must say, the quality of discourse in this country has taken a

    sharp
    > plunge of late, not only among the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells from
    > whom one expects coarse speech, but among gentlemen of letters and
    > esteem. I have, with my own ears, several times in the past week,

    heard
    > the elder sons of prominent families introduce into mixed company
    > subjects formerly reserved for private discussion among gentlemen. It
    > pains me even to raise this point, but following a string of recent
    > events, there is no question that the adage bears repeating: A
    > gentleman ought never to disclose who sucked him off.
    >
    > This needn't mean a gentleman must limit the discussion of his

    exploits
    > to his journal. If a gentleman has met a young lady and taken her to
    > his digs, it is his right and privilege to tell his friends and
    > coworkers about the encounter. However, it is the mark of a true
    > gentleman to omit his lady friend's name from the discussion of her
    > pussy's tightness.
    >
    > Why, I had assumed that this custom and others like it were universal
    > and well understood, but as long as I am spelling out the Rules of

    the
    > Gentleman, allow me to introduce several other equally important but
    > oft-neglected guidelines.
    >
    > Should a gentleman find himself alone with a lady, he should not

    simply
    > undo his pants and come in her hole. A gentleman knows that it is

    good
    > manners to coax his lady friend's heels as far above her head as they
    > will go, to "split the reed," and perhaps to turn his lady over and
    > give it to her "doggy style." A gentleman knows that a true lady

    enjoys
    > a moderate amount of hair-pulling and ass-grabbing, taking these
    > attentions as marks of affection and virility. However, a gentleman
    > knows where to draw the line. He never lodges his lady friend's head
    > between the couch cushions.
    >
    > A gentleman occasionally will have more than one guest at his home.
    > Should he see that jealousy is breeding between the two ladies whom

    he
    > is hosting, a gentleman does not say, "Whoa, ladies, there's enough

    of
    > me to go around!" The gentleman, valuing decorum and discretion above
    > all else in his paramours, gently guides his guests' heads from his
    > penis and informs them that if they do not act like ladies, he will
    > have to ask them both to leave.
    >
    > When up to his nuts in a lady's guts, a gentleman knows that it is
    > quite impolite to smoke, talk politics, or take phone calls. Should

    his
    > cell phone ring, the gentleman says, "Excuse me, I need to take

    this."
    > He withdraws his penis from his lady friend and keeps his phone
    > conversation brief. When he has completed his call, a gentleman

    gently
    > reinserts his dick into his lady.
    >
    > Of course, a gentleman who is not a smoker keeps an ashtray on his
    > balcony for his lady friends who wish to smoke.
    >
    > It should go without saying that, once he has arranged for a paid

    lady
    > of the night to meet him at his home, a gentleman does not jerk off
    > several times while awaiting her arrival, in order to "get his

    money's
    > worth."
    >
    > A gentleman knows that accidents happen. While it is an unfortunate

    and
    > boorish behavior that should be kept to a minimum, a gentleman always
    > apologizes to a lady after he mistakenly shoots his load inside of

    her.
    >
    > A gentleman never comes in a lady's eyes.
    >
    > While he knows that a lady gets pleasure out of pleasuring him, and

    he
    > will occasionally increase the intensity of that pleasure by gentle
    > force, a gentleman will never choke a woman on his cock.
    >
    > If a gentleman wishes to attend to a lady's pleasure through oral
    > manipulation, no matter what the state of affairs below, he always
    > politely completes his task. A gentleman ought never to fan his hand

    in
    > the air, grimace and make a show of removing a pubic hair from his
    > teeth, or compare his lady friend's vulva to two strips of partially
    > grilled fajita meat.
    >
    > A gentleman knows that it is considered good manners to have an
    > unopened toothbrush on hand for his lady friend, in the event that

    she
    > should like to freshen up after eating his ass.
    >
    > Breeding needn't amount to priggishness. On the contrary, a gentleman
    > knows that good old-fashioned manners will likely increase his social
    > engagements, once word gets out that he is not one to splooge and

    tell.
    > But I beg the reader, for the sake of tradition and all that is

    decent,
    > to remember that a true gentleman does not ever, under any
    > circumstances, go ass to mouth.
    , May 19, 2005
    #4
  5. j r sherman Guest

    In article <>,
    says...
    >
    >This post was not made by Ilya Shambat.


    who cares?

    > wrote:
    >> I must say, the quality of discourse in this country has taken a

    >sharp
    >> plunge of late, not only among the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells from
    >> whom one expects coarse speech, but among gentlemen of letters and
    >> esteem. I have, with my own ears, several times in the past week,

    >heard
    >> the elder sons of prominent families introduce into mixed company
    >> subjects formerly reserved for private discussion among gentlemen. It
    >> pains me even to raise this point, but following a string of recent
    >> events, there is no question that the adage bears repeating: A
    >> gentleman ought never to disclose who sucked him off.
    >>
    >> This needn't mean a gentleman must limit the discussion of his

    >exploits
    >> to his journal. If a gentleman has met a young lady and taken her to
    >> his digs, it is his right and privilege to tell his friends and
    >> coworkers about the encounter. However, it is the mark of a true
    >> gentleman to omit his lady friend's name from the discussion of her
    >> pussy's tightness.
    >>
    >> Why, I had assumed that this custom and others like it were universal
    >> and well understood, but as long as I am spelling out the Rules of

    >the
    >> Gentleman, allow me to introduce several other equally important but
    >> oft-neglected guidelines.
    >>
    >> Should a gentleman find himself alone with a lady, he should not

    >simply
    >> undo his pants and come in her hole. A gentleman knows that it is

    >good
    >> manners to coax his lady friend's heels as far above her head as they
    >> will go, to "split the reed," and perhaps to turn his lady over and
    >> give it to her "doggy style." A gentleman knows that a true lady

    >enjoys
    >> a moderate amount of hair-pulling and ass-grabbing, taking these
    >> attentions as marks of affection and virility. However, a gentleman
    >> knows where to draw the line. He never lodges his lady friend's head
    >> between the couch cushions.
    >>
    >> A gentleman occasionally will have more than one guest at his home.
    >> Should he see that jealousy is breeding between the two ladies whom

    >he
    >> is hosting, a gentleman does not say, "Whoa, ladies, there's enough

    >of
    >> me to go around!" The gentleman, valuing decorum and discretion above
    >> all else in his paramours, gently guides his guests' heads from his
    >> penis and informs them that if they do not act like ladies, he will
    >> have to ask them both to leave.
    >>
    >> When up to his nuts in a lady's guts, a gentleman knows that it is
    >> quite impolite to smoke, talk politics, or take phone calls. Should

    >his
    >> cell phone ring, the gentleman says, "Excuse me, I need to take

    >this."
    >> He withdraws his penis from his lady friend and keeps his phone
    >> conversation brief. When he has completed his call, a gentleman

    >gently
    >> reinserts his dick into his lady.
    >>
    >> Of course, a gentleman who is not a smoker keeps an ashtray on his
    >> balcony for his lady friends who wish to smoke.
    >>
    >> It should go without saying that, once he has arranged for a paid

    >lady
    >> of the night to meet him at his home, a gentleman does not jerk off
    >> several times while awaiting her arrival, in order to "get his

    >money's
    >> worth."
    >>
    >> A gentleman knows that accidents happen. While it is an unfortunate

    >and
    >> boorish behavior that should be kept to a minimum, a gentleman always
    >> apologizes to a lady after he mistakenly shoots his load inside of

    >her.
    >>
    >> A gentleman never comes in a lady's eyes.
    >>
    >> While he knows that a lady gets pleasure out of pleasuring him, and

    >he
    >> will occasionally increase the intensity of that pleasure by gentle
    >> force, a gentleman will never choke a woman on his cock.
    >>
    >> If a gentleman wishes to attend to a lady's pleasure through oral
    >> manipulation, no matter what the state of affairs below, he always
    >> politely completes his task. A gentleman ought never to fan his hand

    >in
    >> the air, grimace and make a show of removing a pubic hair from his
    >> teeth, or compare his lady friend's vulva to two strips of partially
    >> grilled fajita meat.
    >>
    >> A gentleman knows that it is considered good manners to have an
    >> unopened toothbrush on hand for his lady friend, in the event that

    >she
    >> should like to freshen up after eating his ass.
    >>
    >> Breeding needn't amount to priggishness. On the contrary, a gentleman
    >> knows that good old-fashioned manners will likely increase his social
    >> engagements, once word gets out that he is not one to splooge and

    >tell.
    >> But I beg the reader, for the sake of tradition and all that is

    >decent,
    >> to remember that a true gentleman does not ever, under any
    >> circumstances, go ass to mouth.

    >



    --
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    "I saw a werewolf drinkin' a pina colada at Trader Vic's
    And his hair was perfect."
    Warren Zevon
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    j r sherman, May 19, 2005
    #5
    1. Advertising

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