There IS a universal language!

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Evan Platt, Jul 8, 2005.

  1. Evan Platt

    Evan Platt Guest

    And the word "Yes" translates to "I have no idea what you just said".

    Let me give you an example: I do WiFi tech support. Sample
    conversation with someone with accent, doesn't matter what accent: And
    yes, this has more or less happened on multiple occasions:

    Me: "Ok, there's an access point down that covers your area. I will
    submit a trouble ticket to our technicians, they will look at the
    access point remotely and fix it."
    Them: "Ok, so someone will come to my room?"
    Me: "No, it's all done remotely."
    Them: "Yes.... So when will someone be at my room?"
    Me: "No - no one needs to come to your room. The access point isn't in
    your room. We do it remotely."
    Them: "Yes... So when will someone be at my room?"
    Me: "No - no one comes to the hotel No one comes to your room. It's
    done remotely."
    Them: "Yes. So when will someone be at the hotel?"
    Me: "No - No one will come to the hotel. No one comes to your room.
    Our technicians do it remotely. Give it about 24 hours, if you still
    cannot connect in 24 hours, give us a call back and reference case
    number <XXXX>."
    Them: "So what do I do with this case number?"
    Me: "If you still cannot connect in 24 hours, call back and reference
    this case number."
    Them: "So give it a few hours?"
    <Sound of my head banging against wall>
    Me: "Yes."
    Evan Platt, Jul 8, 2005
    #1
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  2. Evan Platt

    why? Guest

    On Thu, 07 Jul 2005 20:35:15 -0700, Evan Platt wrote:

    >And the word "Yes" translates to "I have no idea what you just said".
    >
    >Let me give you an example: I do WiFi tech support. Sample
    >conversation with someone with accent, doesn't matter what accent: And
    >yes, this has more or less happened on multiple occasions:
    >
    >Me: "Ok, there's an access point down that covers your area. I will
    >submit a trouble ticket to our technicians, they will look at the
    >access point remotely and fix it."
    >Them: "Ok, so someone will come to my room?"
    >Me: "No, it's all done remotely."
    >Them: "Yes.... So when will someone be at my room?"
    >Me: "No - no one needs to come to your room. The access point isn't in
    >your room. We do it remotely."
    >Them: "Yes... So when will someone be at my room?"

    <snip>

    Had one like that yesterday.

    As people leave the company, the PCs are reclaimed along with phone
    handsets and number. It cuts down on line rental etc.

    As the outsourced IT, we can't do anything like that (can't claim
    time/charges for work) unless the customer says so.

    User - Reporting faulty phone.
    Us - That phone is disconnected, as part of the project for leaver's.
    User - The phone doesn't work.
    Us - There isn't a phone on that desk, it's been removed.
    User - I plugged in another phone.
    Us - You do know you aren't meant to do that?
    User - I wanted to use that number.
    Us - You can't as <company name> instructed us to remove that line as
    part of the leaver's project.
    User - What's that project? Why wasn't I consulted?
    Us - It's your manager / hr department that compiled the list of
    disconnects.
    User - When are you going to fix the fault.
    Us - It's not a fault, it's been requested to be disconnected. If you
    want it switched on you have to apply through the proper process.
    User - It's not a <name of process> request it's a fault to fix.
    Us - It's not a fault.
    User - It's a fault you disconnected a working line.
    Us - Because we were told to by your company.
    You have to apply for the line to be re-enabled, via the process I just
    told you about.


    Me
    why?, Jul 8, 2005
    #2
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  3. Evan Platt

    Mara Guest

    On Fri, 08 Jul 2005 06:55:34 GMT, why? <fgrirp*sgc@VAINY!Qznq.fpvragvfg.pbz>
    wrote:

    <snip>
    >Had one like that yesterday.
    >
    >As people leave the company, the PCs are reclaimed along with phone
    >handsets and number. It cuts down on line rental etc.
    >
    >As the outsourced IT, we can't do anything like that (can't claim
    >time/charges for work) unless the customer says so.
    >
    >User - Reporting faulty phone.
    >Us - That phone is disconnected, as part of the project for leaver's.
    >User - The phone doesn't work.
    >Us - There isn't a phone on that desk, it's been removed.
    >User - I plugged in another phone.
    >Us - You do know you aren't meant to do that?
    >User - I wanted to use that number.
    >Us - You can't as <company name> instructed us to remove that line as
    >part of the leaver's project.
    >User - What's that project? Why wasn't I consulted?
    >Us - It's your manager / hr department that compiled the list of
    >disconnects.
    >User - When are you going to fix the fault.
    >Us - It's not a fault, it's been requested to be disconnected. If you
    >want it switched on you have to apply through the proper process.
    >User - It's not a <name of process> request it's a fault to fix.
    >Us - It's not a fault.
    >User - It's a fault you disconnected a working line.
    >Us - Because we were told to by your company.
    >You have to apply for the line to be re-enabled, via the process I just
    >told you about.


    How about being called in on your time off because your Uberlusers can't set up
    Operamail web mail addresses?

    Man, I'm glad the weekend's coming. I think. I'm going to try to sleep through
    it.

    "Maybe I'll get the chance to recover from stunned-bunny mode."

    --
    "No lusers were harmed in the creation of this usenet article.
    AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY NOT!"
    --glmar04 at twirl.mcc.ac.uk in a.s.r
    Mara, Jul 8, 2005
    #3
  4. Evan Platt

    Mara Guest

    Re: Mara virgin flirt-girl gets fucked

    Mara <> wrote:

    > Addled blonde yes-girl with diseased love canal and stringy breasts
    > requires punishing dipstick to exercise the armadillo. Mail me at
    >
    Mara, Jul 8, 2005
    #4
  5. Evan Platt

    TJ Guest

    Mara <> wrote:

    <snip>

    > How about being called in on your time off because your Uberlusers
    > can't set up Operamail web mail addresses?


    Uberlusers? Wonderful attitude you have there. I'll bet you're well liked
    by one and all.

    > Man, I'm glad the weekend's coming. I think. I'm going to try to
    > sleep through it.


    Please do. Maybe you can LART yourself in your sleep? Here's hoping.

    > "Maybe I'll get the chance to recover from stunned-bunny mode."


    Speaking of which? Are you still fuckin' teh Psycho (or however the hell
    he spells it), or have you moved on to another AHM "member"?

    I've been reading your shit for years now.

    You have a *serious* chip on your shoulder. And no. I'm not prepared to
    flick it off. And even if I were? You'd just pick it up, and put it on
    again.

    The only one who can rid you of it permanently .... Is *you*.

    Sweet dreams.

    HTH
    HAND

    --
    "The ****-Up fairy doesn't just randomly visit people."
    {Wheat Muncher tells it like it is in 24hoursupport.helpdesk.}
    TJ, Jul 8, 2005
    #5
  6. Evan Platt

    why? Guest

    On Fri, 08 Jul 2005 07:26:22 -0500, Mara wrote:

    >On Fri, 08 Jul 2005 06:55:34 GMT, why? <fgrirp*sgc@VAINY!Qznq.fpvragvfg.pbz>
    >wrote:
    >
    ><snip>
    >>Had one like that yesterday.
    >>
    >>As people leave the company, the PCs are reclaimed along with phone
    >>handsets and number. It cuts down on line rental etc.
    >>
    >>As the outsourced IT, we can't do anything like that (can't claim
    >>time/charges for work) unless the customer says so.
    >>
    >>User - Reporting faulty phone.
    >>Us - That phone is disconnected, as part of the project for leaver's.
    >>User - The phone doesn't work.
    >>Us - There isn't a phone on that desk, it's been removed.
    >>User - I plugged in another phone.
    >>Us - You do know you aren't meant to do that?
    >>User - I wanted to use that number.
    >>Us - You can't as <company name> instructed us to remove that line as
    >>part of the leaver's project.

    <snip>
    >
    >How about being called in on your time off because your Uberlusers can't set up
    >Operamail web mail addresses?


    Someone phoned today after I got home. Some manager has a hot poker
    stuck somewhere, he bugs a different person each day to do the same job.
    So what happend I get called at home to explain the story to yet somone
    else.

    >Man, I'm glad the weekend's coming. I think. I'm going to try to sleep through
    >it.


    That was the start of my weekend.

    <snip>

    Me
    why?, Jul 8, 2005
    #6
  7. Evan Platt

    Mara Guest

    On Fri, 08 Jul 2005 21:32:19 GMT, why? <fgrirp*sgc@VAINY!Qznq.fpvragvfg.pbz>
    wrote:

    <snip>
    >On Fri, 08 Jul 2005 07:26:22 -0500, Mara wrote:


    >>
    >>How about being called in on your time off because your Uberlusers can't set up
    >>Operamail web mail addresses?

    >
    >Someone phoned today after I got home. Some manager has a hot poker
    >stuck somewhere, he bugs a different person each day to do the same job.
    >So what happend I get called at home to explain the story to yet somone
    >else.


    The surge protector for one of our systems sits right next to a phone jack that
    fried the first part of this week. When one of the Maintenance guys finally went
    up to unplug the system from the SP so he could get at the jack, a person
    commonly referred to as TardoGirl came unglued on him and told him that if he
    unplugged the system it would *die permanently* and that *I* would have to buy
    $Dayjob a new system. (That system isn't owned by $Dayjob. Or her.)

    Yep. S'true.

    That happened Wednesday. It's been all downhill ever since. I'm so damned tired
    now that just standing up takes more energy than I've got.

    >>Man, I'm glad the weekend's coming. I think. I'm going to try to sleep through
    >>it.

    >
    >That was the start of my weekend.


    I feel for you. :( I intend to take the previous IT tech's advice, which was to
    drink more often.

    "Mike's Hard Lemonade. Mmmm...."

    --
    "No lusers were harmed in the creation of this usenet article.
    AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY NOT!"
    --glmar04 at twirl.mcc.ac.uk in a.s.r
    Mara, Jul 8, 2005
    #7
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