Thank you!

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Toolman Tim, Jan 11, 2006.

  1. Toolman Tim

    Toolman Tim Guest

    As another year is slowly fading in my memory, my heartfelt appreciation
    goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
    "forwards" over the past 12 months . Thank you for making me feel safe,
    secure, blessed, and wealthy.

    Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to get to the
    message.

    Special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
    envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal
    an envelope.

    Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

    Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove
    toilet stains.

    I no longer drink Pepsi, or Dr Pepper, since the people who make these
    products are atheists who won't put "Under God" on their cans.

    I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

    I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
    with a needle infected with AIDS.

    I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
    buffalo on a hot day.

    I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
    perfume sample and rob me.

    I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS, or FedEx, since
    they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

    I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a number
    for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore,
    and Uzbekistan.

    I no longer eat KFC, because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant
    freaks with no eyes or feathers.

    I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free
    replacement pair from Nike.

    I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus, since I now
    have their recipe.

    I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count I have 363,214 angels
    looking out for me.

    Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
    an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

    I no longer have any savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
    to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)

    In fact, I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I
    receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating
    in their special email program.

    Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
    return the favor!

    If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
    minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your
    head at 5:00 PM (ET) this afternoon. I know this will
    occur because it actually happened to a friend of mine's next door
    neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

    Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    --
    Pursuant to Public Law No 109-162 I hereby certify, assert, testify,
    warrant, and affirm that it is not (nor has it ever been) my intent,
    aim, objective or purpose in any way to irritate, frustrate, provoke,
    gall, aggravate, bother, bug, chafe, fret, irk, nettle, peeve, put out,
    rile, bait, beleaguer, beset, plague, tease, torment, worry, disturb,
    vex, exasperate, ruffle, harrass, harry, pester, bedevil, piss off,
    piss on, or in any other way annoy the reader of this post.
    Toolman Tim, Jan 11, 2006
    #1
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  2. Toolman Tim wrote:

    Can we make this short? I've got a lot of vestal virgins waiting in the
    van. Thanks so much.

    Rôgêr
    --
    Feeling a bit like a rock star, are we?
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Jan 11, 2006
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Toolman Tim

    Deano Guest

    Toolman Tim wrote:
    > As another year is slowly fading in my memory, my heartfelt
    > appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and
    > trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months . Thank you for
    > making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
    >


    <snipped>

    :)

    I will now forward this to everyone in my address book.
    Deano, Jan 11, 2006
    #3
  4. Toolman Tim

    Scraggy Guest

    Toolman Tim wrote:
    snip massive thankyou.
    >
    > Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!


    On the bright side, you must, by now, have a pemanently erect 16' penis and
    the money will still be pouring in after those blue chip $6 investents.

    --
    I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as
    members. Groucho Marx
    Scraggy, Jan 11, 2006
    #4
  5. Toolman Tim

    Toolman Tim Guest

    In news:43c55742$0$1497$,
    Deano spewed forth:
    > Toolman Tim wrote:
    >> As another year is slowly fading in my memory, my heartfelt
    >> appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and
    >> trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months . Thank you for
    >> making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
    >>

    >
    > <snipped>
    >
    > :)
    >
    > I will now forward this to everyone in my address book.


    Yeah, I thought it was kinda cute.

    Especially the "Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to
    get to the
    message." line <g>

    --
    Pursuant to Public Law No 109-162 I hereby certify, assert, testify,
    warrant, and affirm that it is not (nor has it ever been) my intent,
    aim, objective or purpose in any way to irritate, frustrate, provoke,
    gall, aggravate, bother, bug, chafe, fret, irk, nettle, peeve, put out,
    rile, bait, beleaguer, beset, plague, tease, torment, worry, disturb,
    vex, exasperate, ruffle, harrass, harry, pester, bedevil, piss off,
    piss on, or in any other way annoy the reader of this post.
    Toolman Tim, Jan 11, 2006
    #5
  6. Toolman Tim

    Toolman Tim Guest

    In news:,
    Scraggy spewed forth:
    > Toolman Tim wrote:
    > snip massive thankyou.
    >>
    >> Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    >
    > On the bright side, you must, by now, have a pemanently erect 16'
    > penis and the money will still be pouring in after those blue chip $6
    > investents.


    You betcha! ;o)

    --
    Pursuant to Public Law No 109-162 I hereby certify, assert, testify,
    warrant, and affirm that it is not (nor has it ever been) my intent,
    aim, objective or purpose in any way to irritate, frustrate, provoke,
    gall, aggravate, bother, bug, chafe, fret, irk, nettle, peeve, put out,
    rile, bait, beleaguer, beset, plague, tease, torment, worry, disturb,
    vex, exasperate, ruffle, harrass, harry, pester, bedevil, piss off,
    piss on, or in any other way annoy the reader of this post.
    Toolman Tim, Jan 11, 2006
    #6
  7. Toolman Tim

    Evan Platt Guest

    On Wed, 11 Jan 2006 13:26:19 -0500, Rôgêr <> wrote:

    >Can we make this short? I've got a lot of vestal virgins waiting in the
    >van. Thanks so much.


    Are the vestal virgins short?

    But I wandered through my playing cards
    And would not let her be
    One of sixteen vestal virgins
    Who were leaving for the coast
    And although my eyes were open
    They might have just as well've been closed
    Evan Platt, Jan 11, 2006
    #7
  8. Toolman Tim

    Gordon Guest

    Toolman Tim scribbled this:


    >
    > Especially the "Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to
    > get to the
    > message." line <g>
    >


    Usually from AOHellers.......
    --
    Registered Linux User no 240308
    Ubuntu 5.10
    gordonDOTburgessparkerATgbpcomputingDOTcoDOTuk
    to email me replace the obvious!
    Gordon, Jan 11, 2006
    #8
  9. Toolman Tim

    Shel-hed Guest

    On Wed, 11 Jan 2006 11:35:54 -0800, "Toolman Tim" <>
    wrote:

    >
    >Yeah, I thought it was kinda cute.
    >
    >Especially the "Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to
    >get to the
    >message." line <g>


    That one went over my head. Is it an OE thing?
    Shel-hed, Jan 11, 2006
    #9
  10. Toolman Tim

    Gordon Guest

    Shel-hed scribbled this:

    > On Wed, 11 Jan 2006 11:35:54 -0800, "Toolman Tim"
    > <> wrote:
    >
    >>
    >>Yeah, I thought it was kinda cute.
    >>
    >>Especially the "Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to
    >>get to the
    >>message." line <g>

    >
    > That one went over my head. Is it an OE thing?


    Not necessarily. The ones I get are from AOHellers
    --
    Registered Linux User no 240308
    Ubuntu 5.10
    gordonDOTburgessparkerATgbpcomputingDOTcoDOTuk
    to email me replace the obvious!
    Gordon, Jan 11, 2006
    #10
  11. Toolman Tim

    Toolman Tim Guest

    In news:,
    Gordon spewed forth:
    > Toolman Tim scribbled this:
    >
    >
    >>
    >> Especially the "Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15
    >> times to get to the
    >> message." line <g>
    >>

    >
    > Usually from AOHellers...


    And my mom <g>

    --
    Pursuant to Public Law No 109-162 I hereby certify, assert, testify,
    warrant, and affirm that it is not (nor has it ever been) my intent,
    aim, objective or purpose in any way to irritate, frustrate, provoke,
    gall, aggravate, bother, bug, chafe, fret, irk, nettle, peeve, put out,
    rile, bait, beleaguer, beset, plague, tease, torment, worry, disturb,
    vex, exasperate, ruffle, harrass, harry, pester, bedevil, piss off,
    piss on, or in any other way annoy the reader of this post.
    Toolman Tim, Jan 11, 2006
    #11
  12. Toolman Tim

    PuppyKatt Guest

    "Deano" <> wrote in message
    news:43c55742$0$1497$...
    > Toolman Tim wrote:
    >> As another year is slowly fading in my memory, my heartfelt
    >> appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and
    >> trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months . Thank you for
    >> making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
    >>

    >
    > <snipped>
    >
    > :)
    >
    > I will now forward this to everyone in my address book.
    >

    Like I just did?
    PuppyKatt, Jan 12, 2006
    #12
  13. Toolman Tim

    PuppyKatt Guest

    "Shel-hed" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > On Wed, 11 Jan 2006 11:35:54 -0800, "Toolman Tim"
    > <>
    > wrote:
    >
    >>
    >>Yeah, I thought it was kinda cute.
    >>
    >>Especially the "Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to
    >>get to the
    >>message." line <g>

    >
    > That one went over my head. Is it an OE thing?


    No, someone forwards an attachment, and by the time it gets to the tentht or
    eleventh person, each is in a new attachment. It can even happen with
    Eudora.
    >
    PuppyKatt, Jan 12, 2006
    #13
  14. Toolman Tim

    Toolman Tim Guest

    "PuppyKatt" <> wrote in message
    news:4tlxf.490$...
    >
    > "Shel-hed" <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    >> On Wed, 11 Jan 2006 11:35:54 -0800, "Toolman Tim"
    >> <>
    >> wrote:
    >>
    >>>
    >>>Yeah, I thought it was kinda cute.
    >>>
    >>>Especially the "Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to
    >>>get to the
    >>>message." line <g>

    >>
    >> That one went over my head. Is it an OE thing?

    >
    > No, someone forwards an attachment, and by the time it gets to the tentht
    > or eleventh person, each is in a new attachment. It can even happen with
    > Eudora.
    >

    Yup. Forwarding "as attachment" is like putting a letter back in the
    original envelope, and putting that into a new one, and mailing it again.
    Then the next person puts it back in the first, then back in the second,
    than into a new third envelope, and mailing it. Ad infinitum. What a mess
    <g>
    Toolman Tim, Jan 12, 2006
    #14
  15. Toolman Tim

    clot Guest

    Toolman Tim wrote:
    > As another year is slowly fading in my memory, my heartfelt
    > appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and
    > trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months . Thank you for
    > making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
    >
    > Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to get to the
    > message.
    >
    > Special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue
    > on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I
    > need to seal an envelope.
    >
    > Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
    >
    > Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
    > remove toilet stains.
    >
    > I no longer drink Pepsi, or Dr Pepper, since the people who make these
    > products are atheists who won't put "Under God" on their cans.
    >
    > I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
    >
    > I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
    > pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
    >
    > I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
    > water buffalo on a hot day.
    >
    > I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
    > perfume sample and rob me.
    >
    > I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS, or
    > FedEx, since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
    >
    > I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a
    > number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,
    > Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
    >
    > I no longer eat KFC, because their "chickens" are actually horrible
    > mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
    >
    > I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive
    > my free replacement pair from Nike.
    >
    > I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus, since I
    > now have their recipe.
    >
    > I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count I have 363,214
    > angels looking out for me.
    >
    > Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
    > forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
    > minutes.
    > I no longer have any savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is
    > about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)
    >
    > In fact, I no longer have any money at all - but that will change
    > once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
    > participating in their special email program.
    >
    > Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will
    > now return the favor!
    >
    > If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
    > minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on
    > your head at 5:00 PM (ET) this afternoon. I know this will
    > occur because it actually happened to a friend of mine's next door
    > neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
    >
    > Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!


    Wow! Tim, I didn't appreciate the impact discussions on this froup have
    upon your life. I'm sorry I couldn't respond on Wednesday before last
    but I was busy.

    In future, I shall be much more caring in any response to you. I wasn't
    aware that you are so vulnerable. I do apologise if anything I've "said"
    has caused great angst.

    I'm most concerned to realise how troubled you are. Do share with us
    when ever you have an impulse to help "Dr NBooku" in Nigeria with his
    problems or any other pleas that you feel morally obliged to respond to.

    There are many of us who care for you, so do let us know when we need to
    assure punters that "Make money with PayPal" is for your benefit.

    I heard it through the grapevine that you are a fan of "The Dodgers"
    was it? May they do well for you.

    I find it difficult to understand this game from the Right side of the
    Pond!
    clot, Jan 21, 2006
    #15
  16. Toolman Tim

    Toolman Tim Guest

    "clot" <> wrote in message
    news:xFgAf.9165$...
    > Toolman Tim wrote:
    >> As another year is slowly fading in my memory, my heartfelt
    >> appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and
    >> trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months . Thank you for
    >> making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
    >>

    <snip>
    >>
    >> Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will
    >> now return the favor!
    >>
    >> If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
    >> minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on
    >> your head at 5:00 PM (ET) this afternoon. I know this will
    >> occur because it actually happened to a friend of mine's next door
    >> neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
    >>
    >> Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    >
    > Wow! Tim, I didn't appreciate the impact discussions on this froup have
    > upon your life. I'm sorry I couldn't respond on Wednesday before last but
    > I was busy.
    >
    > In future, I shall be much more caring in any response to you. I wasn't
    > aware that you are so vulnerable. I do apologise if anything I've "said"
    > has caused great angst.
    >
    > I'm most concerned to realise how troubled you are. Do share with us when
    > ever you have an impulse to help "Dr NBooku" in Nigeria with his problems
    > or any other pleas that you feel morally obliged to respond to.
    >
    > There are many of us who care for you, so do let us know when we need to
    > assure punters that "Make money with PayPal" is for your benefit.
    >
    > I heard it through the grapevine that you are a fan of "The Dodgers" was
    > it? May they do well for you.
    >
    > I find it difficult to understand this game from the Right side of the
    > Pond!
    >

    Hee hee <g>! I couldn't give money to those scammers even if I wanted to.
    There just isn't enough to go around :)
    Toolman Tim, Jan 21, 2006
    #16
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