Tech Support

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by What's in a Name?, Feb 6, 2007.

  1. Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
    that
    The new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
    Space and valuable resources.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
    Monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football
    5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
    my
    other favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
    Girlfriend 7.0,
    but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.


    Please help!

    Thanks, Troubled User.....

    _____________________

    REPLY: Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men often complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
    Just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
    SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!


    It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0
    It is impossible to uninstall, or purge, the program files from the
    system
    Once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
    Allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony-Child
    Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
    Situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7
    to
    Alleviate your program problems.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! Because
    Ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
    Will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance!
    Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs,
    Such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
    Cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens,
    The only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
    additional
    Software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
    Irreversible damage to the operating system!

    Best of luck,
    TECH SUPPORT

    --
    Playing Nice on Usenet:
    http://oakroadsystems.com/genl/unice.htm#xpost
    My Pages:
    Virus Removal Instructions
    http://home.neo.rr.com/manna4u/
    Keeping Windows Clean
    http://home.neo.rr.com/manna4u/keepingclean.html
    Windows Help and Tools
    http://home.neo.rr.com/manna4u/tools.html
    Change nomail.afraid.org to gmail.com to reply.
    nomail.afraid.org is setup specifically for use in USENET
    Feel free to use it yourself.
     
    What's in a Name?, Feb 6, 2007
    #1
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  2. What's in a Name?

    Old Gringo Guest

    On or About Tue, 06 Feb 2007 00:48:42 GMT, Without Any Hesitation,
    And Without A Second Thought, What's in a Name? Wrote The Following:

    > Dear Tech Support:
    >
    > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
    > that
    > The new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
    > Space and valuable resources.
    >
    > In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
    > Monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football
    > 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6.
    >
    > I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
    > my
    > other favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
    > Girlfriend 7.0,
    > but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
    >
    > Please help!
    >
    > Thanks, Troubled User.....
    >
    > _____________________
    >
    > REPLY: Dear Troubled User:
    >
    > This is a very common problem that men often complain about.
    >
    > Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
    > Just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
    > SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
    >
    > It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0
    > It is impossible to uninstall, or purge, the program files from the
    > system
    > Once installed.
    >
    > You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
    > Allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony-Child
    > Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
    > Situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7
    > to
    > Alleviate your program problems.
    >
    > The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! Because
    > Ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
    > Will return to normal anyway.
    >
    > Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance!
    > Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs,
    > Such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2.
    >
    > However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
    > Cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens,
    > The only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
    > additional
    > Software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0
    >
    > WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    > Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
    > Irreversible damage to the operating system!
    >
    > Best of luck,
    > TECH SUPPORT


    FUN Thanks for sharing. <g>
    --
    Just West Of Nowhere
    Enjoy Life And Live It To Its Fullest
    http://www.NuBoy-Industries.com
    2/5/2007 7:33:32 PM CST
     
    Old Gringo, Feb 6, 2007
    #2
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  3. What's in a Name?

    Vanguard Guest

    "What's in a Name?" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > Dear Tech Support:
    >
    > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
    > that


    <snip - old old joke>

    You couldn't come up with something original? You had to post the same
    joke that must be about 5 years old now? BORING.
     
    Vanguard, Feb 6, 2007
    #3
  4. What's in a Name?

    scarie Guest

    What's in a Name? wrote:
    <<snip>>
    > ************************************************************
    >
    > I thought you could "give ****" now that you got rid of that which
    > could allow you to be the fucker.
    >
    > <dance>
    > <dip>
    >
    > max


    Hi Max
    you're running rings around KM and that amounts to abusing
    the mentally crippled. He is just a short loner who stalks
    usenet and his cyber lover has abandoned him.
    Posting his opinion to usenet is all KM has in life and you
    Max should try to be understanding, and show some love and
    kindness to the sad lonely midget KM.
     
    scarie, Feb 6, 2007
    #4
  5. Heard K-Mans last maggots crunching from 6-feet under, with help of a
    stetoscope deciphering the morse code

    > Midget? WTF?


    Shut up. After all, finally just STFU. You forgot, you are already dead.

    --
    vista policy violation: Microsoft optical mouse found penguin patterns
    on mousepad. Partition scan in progress to remove offending
    incompatible products. Reactivate MS software.
    Linux 2.6.17-mm1,Xorg7.1/nvidia [LinuxCounter#295241,ICQ#4918962]
     
    Walter Mautner, Feb 6, 2007
    #5
  6. What's in a Name?

    ellis_jay Guest

    What's in a Name? wrote:
    > Dear Tech Support:
    >
    > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
    > that


    lol


    --

    When people are engaged in something they are not proud of, they do
    not welcome witnesses. In fact, they come to believe the witness causes
    the trouble. ___John Steinbeck

    Ellis_Jay
     
    ellis_jay, Feb 6, 2007
    #6
  7. On Tue, 06 Feb 2007 22:52:13 +0100, Walter Mautner attempted to confuse
    the issue further by squeaking:
    > Heard K-Mans last maggots crunching from 6-feet under, with help of a
    > stetoscope deciphering the morse code
    >
    >> Midget? WTF?

    >
    > Shut up. After all, finally just STFU. You forgot, you are already dead.


    Meanwhile, you're aiming for net.death.

    --
    ________________________________________________________________________
    Hail Eris! mhm 29x21; TM#5; COOSN-029-06-71069
    The God of Odd Statements, the Ugliest Pigfucker In The Universe
    Stupidity Takes Its Toll. Please Have Exact Change.

    VOTE! Usenet Kook Awards, January 2007
    MID: <Xns98CAEEA8929Fpinkusenseinetcabalc@204.153.244.170>

    "You're like some kind of rabid attack-gerbil." -- Lionel Lauer to Joxer
    in MID: <>

    "I say you are out of your fucking mind." -- Ying Guo, posting as
    "SameAsB4" <>, tells PorchMonkey4Life, posting
    as the same nick but a slightly different morph, the score, in MID:
    <>

    "in the holy spirit i know you would satisfy every single person in a
    room if you were the only person present." -- ~tanya, to Crazy Andy II,
    in MID: <>

    If you never read anything else in any of my sigs, read this:
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15321167/
    http://borealin.livejournal.com/15104.html
    Or watch it here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqxmPjB0WSs
    Then, if you manage to read/watch all that, try this:
    http://www.newamericancentury.org/RebuildingAmericasDefenses.pdf
    And Molly Ivins had a few choice words to say about it, weeks before:
    http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/092906B.shtml
    Here's Chris Floyd: Fatal Vision: The Deeper Evil Behind the Detainee
    Bill: http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/100206A.shtml

    "Q: What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?
    A: George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War." -- Anon.

    Thread where outing begins: http://tinyurl.com/hojf8
    George Pickett Memorial Trophy, Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart,
    and the Order of the Holey Sockpuppet winner <> on
    outing personal contact info in x-poasted subject lines:
    "Plenty of people post under their real names and do not attempt to hide
    their contact info. You are scared of being 'outed' because you are a
    pathological abuser of usenet, and people rightly despise you for it.
    You're afraid of being reported to the authorities or, better, visited
    by a couple of guys with baseball bats. Other people don't have this
    obsessive fear. Ward Hardman himself has posted plenty of personal
    information - nothing that anyone else added was hidden in any way.
    You're so fucking scared you've built up this whole sick mythology about
    different categories of bad dudes who 'out' scum like you.

    "Meanwhile you are the ugliest pigfucker in the universe. You are the
    coward without ethics. You call me a 'newbie' - ha! what an asshole you
    are. Those who want to remain anonymous do so. There is absolutely no
    way you could identify me, not unless you had the sort of subpoena power
    that only gets turned on for big-time terrorists. That's because I chose
    to be anonymous. Some people don't. Only really stupid dicks like you
    choose the sort of semi-anonymity which leaves you in constant fear.

    "What a dickless wonder you are 'Snarky' you fat asshole."
    -- in MID: <>

    "I am the only one who has outer filthed Ward" -- James C. "Crackhead"
    Cracked voluntarily self-immolates, in MID:


    "When I told Abbie Hoffman that he was the first one who made me laugh
    since Lenny Bruce died, Hoffman said, "Really? He was my god." The
    combination of satirical irreverence and sense of justice that Bruce and
    Hoffman shared was the real spirit behind the Yippies--a term I coined
    to describe a phenomenon that already existed: an organic coalition of
    stoned hippies and political activists who engaged in such actions as
    throwing money on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, then
    explaining to reporters the meaning of that symbolism. Folksinger Phil
    Ochs summed it up: "A demonstration should turn you on, not turn you
    off." So when journalists link the Yippies with misleading bedfellows,
    at best it's careless shorthand; at worst it's deliberate demonization.
    Osama bin Laden wanted an aircraft to crash into the Pentagon. Abbie
    Hoffman merely wanted to levitate it." -- Paul Krassner,
    http://tinyurl.com/ehu3v
     
    Demon Lord of Confusion, Feb 7, 2007
    #7
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