Something amusing (origin unknown, apologies to the author ;-) )

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by slumpy, Aug 19, 2003.

  1. slumpy

    slumpy Guest

    21 Reasons why the English Language is Hard to Learn


    1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
    2. The farm was used to produce produce.
    3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
    4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
    5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
    6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
    desert.
    7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought
    it was
    time to present the present.
    8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
    9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
    10. I did not object to the object.
    11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
    12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
    13. They were too close to the door to close it.
    14. The buck does funny things when does are present.
    15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
    16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to
    sow.
    17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
    18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
    19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
    20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
    21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
    --
    slumpy
    The snail is on the thorn. The lark is on the wing. The hat is on the side
    of my head. The rainbow is around my shoulder and everything's for the best
    in this best of all possible worlds where every prospect pleases and only
    man is vile.
    DB.
     
    slumpy, Aug 19, 2003
    #1
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  2. slumpy

    °Mike° Guest

    On Tue, 19 Aug 2003 22:14:26 +0100, in
    <bhu3v4$391ln$-berlin.de>
    slumpy scrawled:

    >21 Reasons why the English Language is Hard to Learn
    >
    >
    > 1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
    > 2. The farm was used to produce produce.
    > 3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
    > 4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
    > 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
    > 6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
    > 7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought
    > it was time to present the present.
    > 8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
    > 9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
    > 10. I did not object to the object.
    > 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
    > 12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
    > 13. They were too close to the door to close it.
    > 14. The buck does funny things when does are present.
    > 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
    > 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
    > 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
    > 18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
    > 19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
    > 20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
    > 21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


    There's no egg in eggplant.
    There's no ham in hamburger.
    There's neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
    English muffins weren't invented in England.
    French fries weren't invented in France.
    Sweetmeats are candies.
    Sweetbreads, (which aren't sweet), are meat.
    Quicksand can work slowly.
    Boxing rings are square.
    A guinea pig is not from Guinea, nor is it a pig.
    Writers write, so why don't fingers fing, grocers groce or hammers ham?
    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
    If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

    People recite at a play and play at a recital; ship by truck and send
    cargo by ship; park on driveways and drive on parkways; have noses that
    run and feet that smell.

    A slim chance and a fat chance be the same, yet a wise man and a wise
    guy are opposites.

    Your house can burn up as it burns down.
    You fill in a form by filling it out.
    An alarm goes off by going on.
    When the stars are out, they are visible.
    When the lights are out, they are invisible.
    When you wind up your watch, you start it.
    When you wind up an essay, you end it
    The English language doesn't know if it's coming or going.

    --
    "I can't remember where that came from."
     
    °Mike°, Aug 19, 2003
    #2
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  3. slumpy

    slumpy Guest

    "So, Mr Slumpy you *really* are the perpetual comedian, aren't you ?" I
    threw back my head and roared with laughter as °Mike° continued:

    >> 21 Reasons why the English Language is Hard to Learn


    <snip>

    Copied, and replied to little brother :-D
    --
    slumpy
    no more
    no less
    just slumpy
     
    slumpy, Aug 21, 2003
    #3
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