Re: F-artist products

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by oj, Oct 28, 2005.

  1. oj

    oj Guest

    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > F-Artist Pen! (tm). Buy one, and we'll ship you a soothing hand-massaging
    > > > vibrator
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > pen for free. Move away Picasso! Check out the artistic drawings made with

    > our
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > vibrating pens. Trees, leaves, bushes, no problem! Put together a

    > professional
    > > > > > looking
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > drawing in as little as 30 seconds. Wow! Get your F-Artist now! And here

    is
    > > the
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > best deal! If you buy the F-Artist Pen, we'll even ship you a pet skunk!

    Now
    > > > isn't
    > > > > > > that
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > incredible? For only only 19.95, your'll get a farting pen, a vibrating

    pen,
    > a
    > > > > > walking
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > pet home skunk that gives out the loudest farts you have ever heard as it

    > > lifts
    > > > > its
    > > > > > > > tail.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But comes the best part! There is more! Yes, you heard it right. Check out

    > > what
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > you will also receive with the F-Arts Pen: Our Karl's Lemon Wipes for

    males.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Male wipes.... higenic deodorant for menly secrets. That's right, no

    > bathroom
    > > > can
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > be without it. But. You think we are giving you more than you could have

    > ever
    > > > > > dreamed
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > of for only 19.95? You guessed wrong! For Karl's Lemon Wipes, we will also

    > > ship
    > > > > you
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a soft, one of a kind penist paper roll for our F-artist penists. A writer

    > is
    > > a
    > > > > > penist
    > > > > > > > and
    > > > > > > > > > his
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > pen is a f-artist. Thanks to this special offer, order now, and be the

    best
    > > > writer
    > > > > > and
    > > > > > > > pen
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > artist you could ever dream of! Imagine what you can do with you F-artist
    > > > > > collection,
    > > > > > > > and
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > with F artist's best friend pet. You can feed your skunk pet milk, and it

    > > raises
    > > > > its
    > > > > > > > tail
    > > > > > > > > as
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > an appreciation, in gives out the loudest appreciative farts you have ever
    > > > heard!
    > > > > As
    > > > > > > an
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "f" artist, you deserve the best pen care. From your pen pals, the

    > F-Artists.
    > > To
    > > > > > > order,
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > have your credit card ready and call 1-800-555-1234
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (If you are an investor and interested in the F-artist products, please

    > > contact
    > > > me
    > > > > > at
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , and we can discuss royalties.)
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (10 percent royalty)
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (Japanese businessmen get a massage from my wife.)
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Email:
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also available F-artist product lines, for only 10 percent royalty:
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a Farting Rubik's cube. It doesn't work, but it farts.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It doesn't work for you but it works for me (tm).
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Fart alarm for engines. When an engine is going kaput, a farting sound
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > alerts the driver.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Super-alarm. When the oil light appears, super alarm in the cockpit kicks
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > in with sirens and police lights. We all love police. Why not carry a police
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > officer with us for a full road safety.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A pen that farts as it writes, is an invention. An invention is copyright related.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > See I have no copyright for this pen. As most people, Google does not care
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > about copyrights, nor about human dignity of any kind.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Change that 10 percent royalty for implementing these product ideas to 20
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > percent for me. We are smarter now. You still keep 80. A royalty is a royalty.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What do you think, partner?
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Email:
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > See, its really easy. You are an enterprenour. I am an inventor. A farting house
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > skunk pet with the most disgusting fart sounds imaginable. You can be Googlist,
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > taking it all, fucking at all copyrights, or be a human being. When there is so
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > much money, why do people get so greedy for every penny. I know its human
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > nature. We are predatorial mammals, with our eyes facing forward, our third
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > teeth from the center are predatorial, the have stronger bones for catching the
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > rabbit. But we can move aside our instincts, and consider that the people who
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > suffered to come up with something new, went through a lot, and should be
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > rewarded as human beings. Business is so cruel, so predatorial. Once people
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > have something they protect it with their blood, and with grotesk facial
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > expressions toward the one approaching the food plate. Dog people. I give
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > you an opportunity, and give me 20 percent royalty. Its not much to ask, really.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Don't be a greedy Googlist, steeling books without checking for copyright
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > first. Don't be a greedy Googlist, steeling all usenet messages from the Global
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Internet and commercializing it, without caring for privacy and human dignity
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > attached to discussions. People have questions. They turn to usenet. And
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Google archives them like Ceaucescu's cameras behind their backs, and publishes
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the archive for all to see. Make sure mother does not see it. Where is human
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > dignity? Here.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.naturalsciences.org/images/skunk.jpg
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So steeling and what Google does for a living, is a bad thing. Google is a bad company,
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > which steels, and robs. Its not a Capitalist phenomena. Its an underground,
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mob, dirty, criminal phenomena, which violates laws and people. Ordinary
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > people's human rights, dignities, and I am telling you, Google is a black and
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > white criminal company. Taking all books from libraries without checking
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > for copyright first, and publishing them online for free, so people wouldn't need
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to Napster those properties in underground organizations. Google is an
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > extremist, corrupt institution, which violates human rights with a smile
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > on their faces. But humanity has chosen to stand up. And beat that corrupt
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > institution together.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ... with an army of skunks?
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What's that out there, boss?
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Some animal?
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Wait, there is more over there. And more! They are coming from every direction.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > SKUNKS! Millions of them!
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I can hear them farting.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > In the news: In an unexplained phenomena, millions of skunks have gathered around
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Google, Inc. in Mountain View, California. They are giving out a sound heard 20 miles
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > away. All smokers are asked to stay away from the area due to the high levels methane
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > in the air...
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Riporter from the helicopter, holding his nose. Wait we are seeing, a giant skunk approaching.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Skunkzilla?
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Reporter: Just in! The skunks identified themselves as a skunk species arriving from
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Earth from the future...
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (see the Netiquette Sunstitute story)
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > P.S. They are the terminator skunks. Robotic skunks, part flesh, part robot, who came
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > back from the future to terminate Sunstitute, Inc, whose members also came back from
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the future. As biological life died out in the future from the high radiation, a robotic
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > engineered society took over. The remnants, or remnancies of humanity traveled
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > back to 1981, though highly deformed and mutated from the radiation, they settled
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and established a secret society among us. They established Sunstitute Inc, a virtual
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > reality application company that took fame and control of humanity and its mind. The
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > bio-robotic skunks arrived to terminate this society and preserve the future of skunkdom.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "We are the skunks of the future. We brought you souvenirs. Farting pens."
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Take off those virtual reality glasses, man." - a beast shook on his shoulder in the IRA camp.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A beast taking off the glasses: "What?"
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "We're going somewhere."
    > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > The Sunstitute Netiquette, that's a pretty good title. I say that.
    > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > Boss Beast: They live a life of no privacy. There is no point of privacy in the future where they
    > > > > > > > > > > > > came from. Life was dieing. There was no point in hiding in their skunk holes, though somehow
    > > > > > > > > > > > > only the skunks survived. They are the perfect beings, the winner of the evolutionary survival.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > Some scientist I think built the first bio-robot-skunk as he was dieing, and that was it. Robotic
    > > > > > > > > > > > > skunks soon took over the planet, and sent the remnant humans into exile, where they built a
    > > > > > > > > > > > > time machine... So our job is to prevent the war between Sunstitute and the roboskunks.
    > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > Now let's listen...
    > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > An orchestra of beasts began playing Beethoven. Beasts, not to forget Drakula, are romantic
    > > > > > > > > > > > beings.
    > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > (but more another time, if you get it.)
    > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > Of course we get it. Shut up, beast. We are trying to listen.
    > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > You shut up. You should listen to the elder.
    > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > Drakula: Sissssss. (everybody shut up, turned forward and listened to the
    > > > > > > > > > > concert in the deserted IRA camp).
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > "Quieted" that is, of course. Their faces resembled historic times.
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > A young beast was chewing on a fart pen.
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > The audience turned into a black and white 1920 silent film.
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > Drakula's people were sitting in an IRA camp, listening to music,
    > > > > > > > > and Michael Jackson, sat by his window, alone, waiting for the beasts
    > > > > > > > > to arrive one day. The beasts sat, listening to Klavierkonzert Nr. 3,
    > > > > > > > > (as always).
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > An English vampir: I beg your pardon? Quite not always, sir. Stop
    > > > > > > > lieing about us, if you don't mind, please sit down, and quiet.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > As people listened, and the concert went on, a girl in the audience
    > > > > > > closed her eyes, and trees appeared, birds flying, and as the cameraman
    > > > > > > looked down, The Sunstitute building appeared. People in Sunstitute were
    > > > > > > shown screaming at the window while holding their noses, as millions of
    > > > > > > roboskunks lined up standing in silence....
    > > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > Skunkzilla with a Hitler face opened her mouth, and spoke, with a silent subtitle:
    > > > >
    > > > > "Come out and surrender, or we'll raise the fart by a thousand skunks every hour!"
    > > > >
    > > > > People in Sunstitute were choking and cried, and took off their clothes, exposing their
    > > > > mutated bodies with green and purple veins running through their bony bodies.
    > > > >
    > > > > A million black birds appeared and rotated above the building in large crowds.
    > > > > Drakula was flying, behind him the army of beasts, and sissing his mouth, showing
    > > > > his angry teeth, landed down to the front of the building, and faced the skunks.
    > > > > The skunks blew a large brown clowd at him. He opened his arms and like
    > > > > bird's wings, blew the clowd back. The other beasts joined in with the bird swings,
    > > > > surrounding the whole building. The people in the building were feeling that air
    > > > > was making it into the building again.
    > > >
    > > > October 27, 2005. F-artist Productions reached its carrier height.

    > >
    > > The cloud grew ever greater. The battle went on. Skunkzilla blew the greatest
    > > fart at Drakula, which was so loud, that it created an Earthquake and even
    > > tornadoes appeared. The San Francisco area was covered in brown fume,
    > > people were evacuating the city in panic. Other luckier ones were wearing
    > > gas masks.

    >
    > At one time the beasts were flattened to the wall of the building from the
    > winds, and couldn't hardly flap any more, and they slipped in and disappeared
    > through the wall and entered Sunstitute. They rushed to save the humanoid
    > creatures from robo-skunk destruction.


    (typo fixed above)

    Drakula and his beasts began flying the creatures out and landing them to safety,
    and back.

    The creatures in the building were laying on the floors, breething hardly, and
    the evacuation went on dramatically.

    Meanwhile some boy far away, was playing with a small fart pen in school. (a little fart)
     
    oj, Oct 28, 2005
    #1
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