Re: F-artist products

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by oj, Oct 27, 2005.

  1. oj

    oj Guest

    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > F-Artist Pen! (tm). Buy one, and we'll ship you a soothing hand-massaging vibrator
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > pen for free. Move away Picasso! Check out the artistic drawings made with our
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > vibrating pens. Trees, leaves, bushes, no problem! Put together a professional

    looking
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > drawing in as little as 30 seconds. Wow! Get your F-Artist now! And here is the
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > best deal! If you buy the F-Artist Pen, we'll even ship you a pet skunk! Now isn't

    > that
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > incredible? For only only 19.95, your'll get a farting pen, a vibrating pen, a

    walking
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > pet home skunk that gives out the loudest farts you have ever heard as it lifts its

    > > tail.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But comes the best part! There is more! Yes, you heard it right. Check out what
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > you will also receive with the F-Arts Pen: Our Karl's Lemon Wipes for males.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Male wipes.... higenic deodorant for menly secrets. That's right, no bathroom can
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > be without it. But. You think we are giving you more than you could have ever

    dreamed
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > of for only 19.95? You guessed wrong! For Karl's Lemon Wipes, we will also ship you
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a soft, one of a kind penist paper roll for our F-artist penists. A writer is a

    penist
    > > and
    > > > > his
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > pen is a f-artist. Thanks to this special offer, order now, and be the best writer

    and
    > > pen
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > artist you could ever dream of! Imagine what you can do with you F-artist

    collection,
    > > and
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > with F artist's best friend pet. You can feed your skunk pet milk, and it raises its

    > > tail
    > > > as
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > an appreciation, in gives out the loudest appreciative farts you have ever heard! As

    > an
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "f" artist, you deserve the best pen care. From your pen pals, the F-Artists. To

    > order,
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > have your credit card ready and call 1-800-555-1234
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (If you are an investor and interested in the F-artist products, please contact me

    at
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , and we can discuss royalties.)
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (10 percent royalty)
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (Japanese businessmen get a massage from my wife.)
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Email:
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also available F-artist product lines, for only 10 percent royalty:
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a Farting Rubik's cube. It doesn't work, but it farts.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It doesn't work for you but it works for me (tm).
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Fart alarm for engines. When an engine is going kaput, a farting sound
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > alerts the driver.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Super-alarm. When the oil light appears, super alarm in the cockpit kicks
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > in with sirens and police lights. We all love police. Why not carry a police
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > officer with us for a full road safety.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A pen that farts as it writes, is an invention. An invention is copyright related.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > See I have no copyright for this pen. As most people, Google does not care
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > about copyrights, nor about human dignity of any kind.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Change that 10 percent royalty for implementing these product ideas to 20
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > percent for me. We are smarter now. You still keep 80. A royalty is a royalty.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What do you think, partner?
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Email:
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > See, its really easy. You are an enterprenour. I am an inventor. A farting house
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > skunk pet with the most disgusting fart sounds imaginable. You can be Googlist,
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > taking it all, fucking at all copyrights, or be a human being. When there is so
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > much money, why do people get so greedy for every penny. I know its human
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > nature. We are predatorial mammals, with our eyes facing forward, our third
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > teeth from the center are predatorial, the have stronger bones for catching the
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > rabbit. But we can move aside our instincts, and consider that the people who
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > suffered to come up with something new, went through a lot, and should be
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > rewarded as human beings. Business is so cruel, so predatorial. Once people
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > have something they protect it with their blood, and with grotesk facial
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > expressions toward the one approaching the food plate. Dog people. I give
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > you an opportunity, and give me 20 percent royalty. Its not much to ask, really.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Don't be a greedy Googlist, steeling books without checking for copyright
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > first. Don't be a greedy Googlist, steeling all usenet messages from the Global
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Internet and commercializing it, without caring for privacy and human dignity
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > attached to discussions. People have questions. They turn to usenet. And
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Google archives them like Ceaucescu's cameras behind their backs, and publishes
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the archive for all to see. Make sure mother does not see it. Where is human
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > dignity? Here.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.naturalsciences.org/images/skunk.jpg
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So steeling and what Google does for a living, is a bad thing. Google is a bad company,
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > which steels, and robs. Its not a Capitalist phenomena. Its an underground,
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mob, dirty, criminal phenomena, which violates laws and people. Ordinary
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > people's human rights, dignities, and I am telling you, Google is a black and
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > white criminal company. Taking all books from libraries without checking
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > for copyright first, and publishing them online for free, so people wouldn't need
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to Napster those properties in underground organizations. Google is an
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > extremist, corrupt institution, which violates human rights with a smile
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > on their faces. But humanity has chosen to stand up. And beat that corrupt
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > institution together.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ... with an army of skunks?
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What's that out there, boss?
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Some animal?
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Wait, there is more over there. And more! They are coming from every direction.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > SKUNKS! Millions of them!
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I can hear them farting.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > In the news: In an unexplained phenomena, millions of skunks have gathered around
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > Google, Inc. in Mountain View, California. They are giving out a sound heard 20 miles
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > away. All smokers are asked to stay away from the area due to the high levels methane
    > > > > > > > > > > > > > in the air...
    > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > Riporter from the helicopter, holding his nose. Wait we are seeing, a giant skunk approaching.
    > > > > > > > > > > > > Skunkzilla?
    > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > Reporter: Just in! The skunks identified themselves as a skunk species arriving from
    > > > > > > > > > > > > Earth from the future...
    > > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > > (see the Netiquette Sunstitute story)
    > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > P.S. They are the terminator skunks. Robotic skunks, part flesh, part robot, who came
    > > > > > > > > > > > back from the future to terminate Sunstitute, Inc, whose members also came back from
    > > > > > > > > > > > the future. As biological life died out in the future from the high radiation, a robotic
    > > > > > > > > > > > engineered society took over. The remnants, or remnancies of humanity traveled
    > > > > > > > > > > > back to 1981, though highly deformed and mutated from the radiation, they settled
    > > > > > > > > > > > and established a secret society among us. They established Sunstitute Inc, a virtual
    > > > > > > > > > > > reality application company that took fame and control of humanity and its mind. The
    > > > > > > > > > > > bio-robotic skunks arrived to terminate this society and preserve the future of skunkdom.
    > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > "We are the skunks of the future. We brought you souvenirs. Farting pens."
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > "Take off those virtual reality glasses, man." - a beast shook on his shoulder in the IRA camp.
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > A beast taking off the glasses: "What?"
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > "We're going somewhere."
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > The Sunstitute Netiquette, that's a pretty good title. I say that.
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > Boss Beast: They live a life of no privacy. There is no point of privacy in the future where they
    > > > > > > > came from. Life was dieing. There was no point in hiding in their skunk holes, though somehow
    > > > > > > > only the skunks survived. They are the perfect beings, the winner of the evolutionary survival.
    > > > > > > > Some scientist I think built the first bio-robot-skunk as he was dieing, and that was it. Robotic
    > > > > > > > skunks soon took over the planet, and sent the remnant humans into exile, where they built a
    > > > > > > > time machine... So our job is to prevent the war between Sunstitute and the roboskunks.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > Now let's listen...
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > An orchestra of beasts began playing Beethoven. Beasts, not to forget Drakula, are romantic
    > > > > > > beings.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > (but more another time, if you get it.)
    > > > > >
    > > > > > Of course we get it. Shut up, beast. We are trying to listen.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > You shut up. You should listen to the elder.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > Drakula: Sissssss. (everybody shut up, turned forward and listened to the
    > > > > > concert in the deserted IRA camp).
    > > > >
    > > > > "Quieted" that is, of course. Their faces resembled historic times.
    > > > >
    > > > > A young beast was chewing on a fart pen.
    > > >
    > > > The audience turned into a black and white 1920 silent film.
    > > >
    > > > Drakula's people were sitting in an IRA camp, listening to music,
    > > > and Michael Jackson, sat by his window, alone, waiting for the beasts
    > > > to arrive one day. The beasts sat, listening to Klavierkonzert Nr. 3,
    > > > (as always).

    > >
    > > An English vampir: I beg your pardon? Quite not always, sir. Stop
    > > lieing about us, if you don't mind, please sit down, and quiet.

    >
    > As people listened, and the concert went on, a girl in the audience
    > closed her eyes, and trees appeared, birds flying, and as the cameraman
    > looked down, The Sunstitute building appeared. People in Sunstitute were
    > shown screaming at the window while holding their noses, as millions of
    > roboskunks lined up standing in silence....
     
    oj, Oct 27, 2005
    #1
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