OT: Tuesday Funny

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by TechGeekPro, Nov 22, 2005.

  1. TechGeekPro

    TechGeekPro Guest

    I read this on the back of my "Bowl Fresh", Automatic Toilet Cleaner:

    * Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that
    either be permitted to drink from toilet

    --
    TGP MCNGP #100100
    http://www.mcngp.com
    Someone just stole my electron! Are you sure? Yes, I'm positive.
    TechGeekPro, Nov 22, 2005
    #1
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  2. TechGeekPro

    Neil Guest

    did you hear TechGeekPro <%username%@gmail.com> say in
    news:Xns97168A2625CF0tgp@127.0.0.1:

    > I read this on the back of my "Bowl Fresh", Automatic Toilet Cleaner:
    >
    > * Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended
    > that either be permitted to drink from toilet
    >


    Now THAT was funny!

    --
    Neil MCNGP#30

    - Tagline? What Tagline??
    Neil, Nov 22, 2005
    #2
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  3. How far down the bowl did you need to put your head to read it?

    --


    Regards,

    Slarty Bartfast



    If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
    Slarty Bartfast, Nov 22, 2005
    #3
  4. TechGeekPro

    TechGeekPro Guest

    On Nov 22, 2005 at 4:25pm "Slarty Bartfast" blathered:

    > How far down the bowl did you need to put your head to read it?


    I won't dignify that remark with a response.

    --
    TGP MCNGP #100100
    http://www.mcngp.com
    Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
    TechGeekPro, Nov 22, 2005
    #4
  5. TechGeekPro

    JaR Guest

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, TechGeekPro spewed across the ether:

    >
    > I won't dignify that remark with a response.
    >


    Ooops.

    --
    JaR
    MCNGP 10110
    Remove hat to reply
    Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper
    JaR, Nov 22, 2005
    #5
  6. TechGeekPro

    TechGeekPro Guest

    On Nov 22, 2005 at 6:36pm "JaR" blathered:

    > In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, TechGeekPro spewed across the ether:
    >
    >>
    >> I won't dignify that remark with a response.
    >>

    >
    > Ooops.
    >


    Nor that one...

    --
    TGP MCNGP #100100
    http://www.mcngp.com
    And now for something completely different...
    TechGeekPro, Nov 22, 2005
    #6
  7. TechGeekPro

    Ben Smith Guest

    In article <Xns97169ECEF99BCMisanthrope@207.46.248.16>,
    says...
    > In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, TechGeekPro spewed across the ether:
    >
    > >
    > > I won't dignify that remark with a response.
    > >

    >
    > Ooops.
    >
    >


    I believe the correct response is "Doh!"
    Ben Smith, Nov 23, 2005
    #7
  8. So... it was safe to drink 'before' Automatic Toilet Cleaner was
    installed?

    --


    Regards,

    Slarty Bartfast



    This sentence is false.
    Slarty Bartfast, Nov 23, 2005
    #8
  9. TechGeekPro

    TechGeekPro Guest

    On Nov 22, 2005 at 11:09pm "Slarty Bartfast" blathered:

    > So... it was safe to drink 'before' Automatic Toilet Cleaner was
    > installed?


    The package did not say.

    --
    TGP MCNGP #100100
    http://www.mcngp.com
    Alarm clock: A device to wake people without small kids.
    TechGeekPro, Nov 23, 2005
    #9
  10. "TechGeekPro" <%username%@gmail.com> wrote in message
    news:Xns971724009EA5Ctgp@127.0.0.1...
    > On Nov 22, 2005 at 11:09pm "Slarty Bartfast" blathered:
    >
    >> So... it was safe to drink 'before' Automatic Toilet Cleaner was
    >> installed?

    >
    > The package did not say.


    Ah. Troubled by the quandry of whether the blue toilet water is safe to
    drink. We have all probably wondered this at one point or another. Some of
    us, more than others, but it is a question that has plagued mankind since
    the advent of blue toilet water.

    Well... that's EXACTLY why you need ghinknee pigs to test it out on!

    Here's what I recommend... First, relax, this is for the betterment of
    humanity, because having the answers to these questions is, well, better
    than NOT having the answers -- largely because I said so. Remember, this is
    for SCIENCE, and you might eventually make MONEY, so don't let the word
    ETHICS or the word FEELINGS trouble you or hold you back -- those words are
    for wimps.

    So to get started now... Have some kids, quickly; OR... find a few spares
    somewhere -- there seem to be a lot of extras around. You're going to need
    a number of them, for the purposes of your investigation. Always keep in
    mind... children are replacable, but nothing in the world is more important
    than SCIENCE and MONEY. Well, except SEX, but we'll leave that out of it for
    now, because once you have SCIENCE and MONEY, you can have all of the SEX
    you want, am I right or am I right? ;D

    Let's see, where were we? Oh! Of course. If the option of having kids or
    borrowing some isn't available, grow a batch in your humanifier. I'm sure
    you could find some in their larval state ready for experimentation, just
    add water. If not, you might have to build some from scratch, and that's
    O.K. One guy around these parts, Neil, well, Neil may be willing to
    contribute his part of the key ingredients -- we've ALL heard that Neil has
    an excess of these particular 'ingredients' (good luck, Neil, we're all
    counting on you!). And because these children will be created solely for the
    purpose of research, the substandard nature of what Neil has to offer really
    shouldn't represent a problem. For the other half of the ingredients, you
    don't really need anything too high quality either, so any human woman will
    do. Because of the genetics involved, though, and to ensure the success of
    the experiment, we'll need to isolate on human women with MOUTHS, though,
    obviously if the children are to drink the blue toilet water they will need
    some form of orafice in order to imbibe the fluid.

    Perhaps someone else in the studio audience can chime in and tell me what
    else is involved in advancing this experiment...
    PC LOAD LETTER, Nov 23, 2005
    #10
  11. TechGeekPro

    JaR Guest

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, PC LOAD LETTER spewed across the
    ether:

    > Perhaps someone else in the studio audience can chime in and tell me
    > what else is involved in advancing this experiment...
    >


    Pork.

    Big ol' luscious pork chops, and pork shoulder(BBQ'd of course) and ribs.

    And bacon, lotsa bacon. And don't forget a couple, three hams.

    Yeah, man, I love pork.

    If y'all gone have an experiment, you gotta have pork.

    Then you gonna want to get a buncha them fancy glass doohickeys with
    bubbles and smoke comin' outta them, like in the movies. Everbody knows you
    cain't have no experiment without them glass doohickeys.

    And some pork sausage. Mmmmm...make some biscuits an' gravy.

    --
    JaR
    MCNGP 10110
    Remove hat to reply
    The Meek shall inherit the earth - after we're through with it.
    JaR, Nov 23, 2005
    #11
  12. TechGeekPro

    TechGeekPro Guest

    On Nov 23, 2005 at 7:10am "PC LOAD LETTER" blathered:

    >
    > "TechGeekPro" <%username%@gmail.com> wrote in message
    > news:Xns971724009EA5Ctgp@127.0.0.1...
    >> On Nov 22, 2005 at 11:09pm "Slarty Bartfast" blathered:
    >>
    >>> So... it was safe to drink 'before' Automatic Toilet Cleaner was
    >>> installed?

    >>
    >> The package did not say.

    >
    > Ah. Troubled by the quandry of whether the blue toilet water is safe to
    > drink. We have all probably wondered this at one point or another. Some
    > of us, more than others, but it is a question that has plagued mankind
    > since the advent of blue toilet water.
    >
    > Well... that's EXACTLY why you need ghinknee pigs to test it out on!
    >
    > Here's what I recommend... First, relax, this is for the betterment of
    > humanity, because having the answers to these questions is, well, better
    > than NOT having the answers -- largely because I said so. Remember, this
    > is for SCIENCE, and you might eventually make MONEY, so don't let the
    > word ETHICS or the word FEELINGS trouble you or hold you back -- those
    > words are for wimps.
    >
    > So to get started now... Have some kids, quickly; OR... find a few
    > spares somewhere -- there seem to be a lot of extras around. You're
    > going to need a number of them, for the purposes of your investigation.
    > Always keep in mind... children are replacable, but nothing in the world
    > is more important than SCIENCE and MONEY. Well, except SEX, but we'll
    > leave that out of it for now, because once you have SCIENCE and MONEY,
    > you can have all of the SEX you want, am I right or am I right? ;D
    >
    > Let's see, where were we? Oh! Of course. If the option of having kids or
    > borrowing some isn't available, grow a batch in your humanifier. I'm
    > sure you could find some in their larval state ready for
    > experimentation, just add water. If not, you might have to build some
    > from scratch, and that's O.K. One guy around these parts, Neil, well,
    > Neil may be willing to contribute his part of the key ingredients --
    > we've ALL heard that Neil has an excess of these particular
    > 'ingredients' (good luck, Neil, we're all counting on you!). And because
    > these children will be created solely for the purpose of research, the
    > substandard nature of what Neil has to offer really shouldn't represent
    > a problem. For the other half of the ingredients, you don't really need
    > anything too high quality either, so any human woman will do. Because of
    > the genetics involved, though, and to ensure the success of the
    > experiment, we'll need to isolate on human women with MOUTHS, though,
    > obviously if the children are to drink the blue toilet water they will
    > need some form of orafice in order to imbibe the fluid.
    >
    > Perhaps someone else in the studio audience can chime in and tell me
    > what else is involved in advancing this experiment...


    Good Ghod, you're even more bored than I am. PotD

    --
    TGP MCNGP #100100
    http://www.mcngp.com
    I just spent four hours burying the cat.
    .... it wouldn't keep still.
    TechGeekPro, Nov 23, 2005
    #12
  13. TechGeekPro

    Neil Guest

    did you hear "PC LOAD LETTER" <http://www.planetoftheheads.com/> say in
    news:#:

    > . One guy around these parts, Neil, well, Neil may be willing to
    > contribute his part of the key ingredients -- we've ALL heard that
    > Neil has an excess of these particular 'ingredients' (good luck, Neil,
    > we're all counting on you!). And because these children will be
    > created solely for the purpose of research, the substandard nature of
    > what Neil has to offer really shouldn't represent a problem. For the
    > other half of the ingredients, you don't really need anything too high
    > quality either, so any human woman will do.


    ahem...when I first read this post I noticed that is was another
    prototypical M.S.B. diatribe and promptly fell asleep after teh first
    dozen paragraphs or so. Then I noticed that my name was mentioned....

    You sir have besmirched my character. I think...NO, I KNOW! I'm sure of
    this...

    Unless of course this particular "ingredient" is charm, good looks,
    intellect, wit, personallity, and a complete lack of ability in the area
    of spelling, in which case, I'm your man...well, not yours Bob...just a
    figure of speach, back up a little will ya?

    --
    Neil MCNGP#30

    - Statistics are no substitute for judgment.
    Neil, Nov 23, 2005
    #13
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