OT: Thursday Humor (Humour)

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by Jtyc, Aug 5, 2004.

  1. Jtyc

    Jtyc Guest

    Why Men Are Just Happier People

    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can be president.
    You can never be pregnant.
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is
    just too icky.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Same work, more pay.
    Wrinkles add character.
    Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood -- all the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks.
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    You almost never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    Everything on your face stays its original color.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life.
    Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45 minutes.
    You can leave the motel bed undone.
    You can kill your own food.
    You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
    You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
    thinking, "He must be mad at me.
    You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
    If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
    become lifelong friends.
    You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
     
    Jtyc, Aug 5, 2004
    #1
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  2. Jtyc

    billyw Guest

    Re: Thursday Humor (Humour)

    burds are just jealous.. thats their problem..


    "Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@spamblockerbitch!@yahoo.com> wrote in message
    news:...
    > Why Men Are Just Happier People
    >
    > Your last name stays put.
    > The garage is all yours.
    > Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    > Chocolate is just another snack.
    > You can be president.
    > You can never be pregnant.
    > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    > You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
    > Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    > The world is your urinal.
    > You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one

    is
    > just too icky.
    > You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    > Same work, more pay.
    > Wrinkles add character.
    > Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100.
    > People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    > The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    > New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    > One mood -- all the time.
    > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    > You know stuff about tanks.
    > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    > You can open all your own jars.
    > You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    > If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    > You almost never have strap problems in public.
    > You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    > Everything on your face stays its original color.
    > The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    > You only have to shave your face and neck.
    > You can play with toys all your life.
    > Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    > One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
    > You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    > You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
    > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    > You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45

    minutes.
    > You can leave the motel bed undone.
    > You can kill your own food.
    > You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
    > You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
    > thinking, "He must be mad at me.
    > You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
    > If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
    > become lifelong friends.
    > You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
    >
    >
     
    billyw, Aug 5, 2004
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Jtyc

    Jtyc Guest

    Re: Thursday Humor (Humour)

    > burds are just jealous.. thats their problem..

    I would be too if I had to sit down to pee.
     
    Jtyc, Aug 5, 2004
    #3
  4. Jtyc

    billyw Guest

    Re: Thursday Humor (Humour)

    thought most yanks did sit down to pee


    "Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@spamblockerbitch!@yahoo.com> wrote in message
    news:...
    > > burds are just jealous.. thats their problem..

    >
    > I would be too if I had to sit down to pee.
    >
    >
    >
     
    billyw, Aug 5, 2004
    #4
  5. Jtyc

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    Re: Thursday Humor (Humour)

    "billyw" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > thought most yanks did sit down to pee


    They do. Derek Jeter, Enrique Wilson, ARod, Jorge Posada...they all sit down
    when they pee.

    --

    KB - MCNGP "Red Sox Nation thug" #26

    first initial last name AT hotmail DOT com
     
    Ken Briscoe, Aug 5, 2004
    #5
  6. Jtyc

    Jtyc Guest

    Re: Thursday Humor (Humour)

    > thought most yanks did sit down to pee

    Why do you have to get personal Englishman?
     
    Jtyc, Aug 5, 2004
    #6
  7. Jtyc

    billyw Guest

    Re: Thursday Humor (Humour)

    RIGHT!! thats it...


    "Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@spamblockerbitch!@yahoo.com> wrote in message
    news:...
    > > thought most yanks did sit down to pee

    >
    > Why do you have to get personal Englishman?
    >
    >
    >
    >
     
    billyw, Aug 5, 2004
    #7
  8. Re: Thursday Humor (Humour)

    Englishman... lol... now that's funny.


    >-----Original Message-----
    >RIGHT!! thats it...
    >
    >
    >"Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@spamblockerbitch!@yahoo.com> wrote in

    message
    >news:...
    >> > thought most yanks did sit down to pee

    >>
    >> Why do you have to get personal Englishman?
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>

    >
    >
    >.
    >
     
    Keyboard Cowboy, Aug 5, 2004
    #8
  9. Jtyc

    catwalker63 Guest

    "Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@spamblockerbitch!@yahoo.com> prattled ceaslessly in
    news::

    > Why Men Are Just Happier People
    >
    > Your last name stays put.
    > The garage is all yours.
    > Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    > Chocolate is just another snack.
    > You can be president.
    > You can never be pregnant.
    > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    > You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
    > Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    > The world is your urinal.
    > You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this
    > one is just too icky.
    > You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    > Same work, more pay.
    > Wrinkles add character.
    > Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100.
    > People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    > The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    > New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    > One mood -- all the time.
    > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    > You know stuff about tanks.
    > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    > You can open all your own jars.
    > You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    > If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    > You almost never have strap problems in public.
    > You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    > Everything on your face stays its original color.
    > The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    > You only have to shave your face and neck.
    > You can play with toys all your life.
    > Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    > One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
    > You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    > You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
    > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    > You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45
    > minutes. You can leave the motel bed undone.
    > You can kill your own food.
    > You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
    > You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
    > thinking, "He must be mad at me.
    > You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
    > If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
    > might become lifelong friends.
    > You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
    >
    >


    I'd have to say this is correct except "You can quietly enjoy a car ride
    from the passenger seat." I have known few men who can sit quietly in
    the passenger seat when I'm driving. <eg>

    Also, if a particularly tasty man is not wearing his shirt, waterpark or
    no waterpark, I have difficulty not talking to his chest. Somehow I
    doubt men mind, however.

    --
    Kelley
    aka Catwalker
    aka Pussy Feet
    BS, MCP

    "I hate the fact that you people don't salute me!"
     
    catwalker63, Aug 5, 2004
    #9
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