OT: The lusers are loose

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by LnkWizard, Jan 14, 2005.

  1. LnkWizard

    LnkWizard Guest

    It has been a strange day today, I didn't even make it to my office
    before one of our lusers stopped me in the hallway with a problem.
    This was at 7:15 and I don't start until 8:00 am (traffic and commuting
    distance issues). Then they started coming by one after another with
    silly A$$ problems that if they sat and thought about it could have
    fixed themselves.

    The real capper (crapper??) was the numbnut who saw me
    going down the hallway on my way to another problem and
    stopped me to ask about his fscking home PC problem. He then had
    the nerve to get pissed when I told him I didn't work or consult
    on home PC problems unless he was willing to pay me $75/hr.
    His reply was that I couldn't charge to work on his home PC
    while I was at the office and I told him then since I couldn't charge
    I guess that means I couldn't work or give him advice about it
    at the office either. He told my boss and my boss essentially
    told him the same thing, only he was a bit more diplomatic than I was.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    Lnkwizard2 MCNGP 2^5

    http://www.mcngp.com
    "He who does not test himself is worthless indeed"
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
     
    LnkWizard, Jan 14, 2005
    #1
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  2. Re: The lusers are loose

    In news:%23$jDl4l%,
    LnkWizard <> somehow managed to typed:

    > It has been a strange day today, I didn't even make it to my office
    > before one of our lusers stopped me in the hallway with a problem.
    > This was at 7:15 and I don't start until 8:00 am (traffic and
    > commuting distance issues). Then they started coming by one after
    > another with silly A$$ problems that if they sat and thought about it
    > could have fixed themselves.
    >
    > The real capper (crapper??) was the numbnut who saw me
    > going down the hallway on my way to another problem and
    > stopped me to ask about his fscking home PC problem. He then had
    > the nerve to get pissed when I told him I didn't work or consult
    > on home PC problems unless he was willing to pay me $75/hr.
    > His reply was that I couldn't charge to work on his home PC
    > while I was at the office and I told him then since I couldn't charge
    > I guess that means I couldn't work or give him advice about it
    > at the office either. He told my boss and my boss essentially
    > told him the same thing, only he was a bit more diplomatic than I was.
    >
    > ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    > Lnkwizard2 MCNGP 2^5
    >
    > http://www.mcngp.com
    > "He who does not test himself is worthless indeed"
    > ---------------------------------------------------------------------


    I get lusers like this all the time. They think that because I'm walking
    between offices or I'm in the lift I'm not actually doing anything and their
    questions are going to somehow make my day.

    Some lusers get offended when I say that if they want me to take a look I
    can either go to their home and charge them £30 per hour or they can bring
    the PC in and I'll look at it during lunch for £20 per hour. I also offer to
    take the PC home to work on for £25 per hour. Just because I work for the
    same company doesn't mean that I'm a free consultant for their petty
    problems and like yourself, if they were to actually sit and think for 2
    seconds they could find the solution themselves.

    Lusers are lusers the world over me thinks.
     
    Who Goes There, Jan 14, 2005
    #2
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  3. LnkWizard

    kpg Guest

    Re: The lusers are loose

    Want to really pee him off?

    Send him a bill.

    :-0
     
    kpg, Jan 14, 2005
    #3
  4. LnkWizard

    Doom Guest

    Re: The lusers are loose

    The real capper (crapper??) was the numbnut who saw me
    > going down the hallway on my way to another problem and
    > stopped me to ask about his fscking home PC problem.


    My favorite is "My home computer is running really slow and I'm getting alot
    of pop ups and sometimes it goes to a site I don't want it to". I then ask
    what antispyware program they're running and they give me that blank stare
    and kind of turn their head sideways like my dog does when he hears a
    strange noise. It's all I can do to keep from busting out laughing. Don't
    get me wrong I appreciate all my lusers. It's their incompetence that keeps
    me employed.
     
    Doom, Jan 14, 2005
    #4
  5. Re: The lusers are loose

    >Don't
    >get me wrong I appreciate all my lusers. It's their incompetence that keeps
    >me employed.


    long may they continue to be so stupid....

    Kline Sphere (Chalk) MCNGP #3
     
    The Poster Formerly Known as Kline Sphere, Jan 14, 2005
    #5
  6. LnkWizard

    kpg Guest

    Re: The lusers are loose

    Actually that reminds me....

    When our company was located in an office building
    several years ago, there was an attorney across the hall.
    We would see him on occasion and exchange friendly
    chat, and even got on a first name basis.

    One day there was some little tax issue or something like
    that, very minor, that was on my mind and I saw him in
    the hall, quite by accident, and I asked him what he thought.

    The whole process took 2 minutes. Several days later we got
    a bill in the mail for $100.00 for legal consultation.

    Needless to say I never spoke to the bloodsucking SOB
    ever again.

    kp "I think that was his plan all along" g
     
    kpg, Jan 14, 2005
    #6
  7. LnkWizard

    JaR Guest

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, LnkWizard climbed on a soapbox &
    opined:

    > It has been a strange day today, I didn't even make it to my office
    > before one of our lusers stopped me in the hallway with a problem.
    >.><<Rant snipped for brevity>>>


    My immediate mangler's desk is within spitting distance of mine. About all
    he uses his confuser for is e-mail. Whenever Outhouse hiccups, I am
    instantly summoned to "take a look" at the fusking thing. No matter that,
    if he gave the problem even a picosecond of thought, he could have figured
    it out for himself. Oh, no. It's much easier for me to stop whatever I
    happen to be doing at the moment, walk over to his desk, tell him, "OK,
    just delete X" "No, right click the file and...No, the file that was
    highli...No RIGHT click...RIGHT cli...RIGHT button on the mous...NO! Not
    the fusking...Oh, for cripes sake, move over and let me do it! no I won't
    *read* the fusking e-mail for your eyes only. No really. Well then minimise
    the doggone thing. *NO* don't delete it! Oh, well, we can retrieve it from
    the deleted items folder, now just let me sit down and I'll *NO* don't
    empty the delet..."

    --
    JaR
    Thug 10110
    Click on MCNGP.com and win nerd32768 a lusers of his very own!
     
    JaR, Jan 14, 2005
    #7
  8. LnkWizard

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    Re: The lusers are loose

    In news:%23$jDl4l%,
    LnkWizard <> rambled:
    > It has been a strange day today, I didn't even make it to my office
    > before one of our lusers stopped me in the hallway with a problem.
    > This was at 7:15 and I don't start until 8:00 am (traffic and
    > commuting distance issues). Then they started coming by one after
    > another with silly A$$ problems that if they sat and thought about it
    > could have fixed themselves.
    >
    > The real capper (crapper??) was the numbnut who saw me
    > going down the hallway on my way to another problem and
    > stopped me to ask about his fscking home PC problem. He then had
    > the nerve to get pissed when I told him I didn't work or consult
    > on home PC problems unless he was willing to pay me $75/hr.
    > His reply was that I couldn't charge to work on his home PC
    > while I was at the office and I told him then since I couldn't charge
    > I guess that means I couldn't work or give him advice about it
    > at the office either. He told my boss and my boss essentially
    > told him the same thing, only he was a bit more diplomatic than I was.


    <quote = "billyw">
    what i would say is that the "Lusers" as you call them are the ones that pay
    your wages.
    with your attitude i hope they do google more the the obvious end result..
    your obviously not someone who should be employed to deal with the public on
    any level
    </quote>

    --

    KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26

    Briscobar AT gmail DOT com

    Please to be click www.mcngp.com. Rgs!
     
    Ken Briscoe, Jan 14, 2005
    #8
  9. LnkWizard

    JaR Guest

    Re: The lusers are loose

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Doom climbed on a soapbox & opined:

    > The real capper (crapper??) was the numbnut who saw me
    >> going down the hallway on my way to another problem and
    >> stopped me to ask about his fscking home PC problem.

    >
    > My favorite is "My home computer is running really slow and I'm
    > getting alot of pop ups and sometimes it goes to a site I don't want
    > it to". I then ask what antispyware program they're running and they
    > give me that blank stare and kind of turn their head sideways like my
    > dog does when he hears a strange noise. It's all I can do to keep from
    > busting out laughing. Don't get me wrong I appreciate all my lusers.
    > It's their incompetence that keeps me employed.
    >
    >


    I miss the days when you did upgrades, unfscked stuff that the lusers had
    deleted, set up their e-mail, replaced hardware that had let out the
    magic smoke, etc.

    Seems all I get anymore is "My computer is running really slow and..."

    But hey! It still puts green in the jeans. Bless their stupid little
    hearts.

    --
    JaR
    Thug 10110
    Click on MCNGP.com and get all nostalgic!
     
    JaR, Jan 14, 2005
    #9
  10. LnkWizard

    Neil Guest

    did you hear JaR <> say in
    news:Xns95DE6EE6B5E2plentespamsuxsofthom@207.46.248.16:

    > "OK,
    > just delete X" "No, right click the file and...No, the file that was
    > highli...No RIGHT click...RIGHT cli...RIGHT button on the mous...NO!
    > Not the fusking...Oh, for cripes sake, move over and let me do it! no
    > I won't *read* the fusking e-mail for your eyes only. No really. Well
    > then minimise the doggone thing. *NO* don't delete it! Oh, well, we
    > can retrieve it from the deleted items folder, now just let me sit
    > down and I'll *NO* don't empty the delet..."
    >


    'swhy he's manglement....

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    Visit www.mcngp.com for your chance to amuse
    nerd32768 and annoy the rest of us
     
    Neil, Jan 14, 2005
    #10
  11. LnkWizard

    Neil Guest

    Re: The lusers are loose

    did you hear The Poster Formerly Known as Kline Sphere <.@> say in
    news::

    >>Don't
    >>get me wrong I appreciate all my lusers. It's their incompetence that
    >>keeps me employed.

    >
    > long may they continue to be so stupid....
    >
    > Kline Sphere (Chalk) MCNGP #3
    >


    God bless 'em (cha-ching!)

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    Visit www.mcngp.com for your chance to amuse
    nerd32768 and annoy the rest of us
     
    Neil, Jan 14, 2005
    #11
  12. LnkWizard

    Neil Guest

    Re: The lusers are loose

    did you hear "Doom" <> say in
    news::

    > My favorite is "My home computer is running really slow and I'm
    > getting alot of pop ups and sometimes it goes to a site I don't want
    > it to".


    http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/frustrations/388b/zoom/

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    Visit www.mcngp.com for your chance to amuse
    nerd32768 and annoy the rest of us
     
    Neil, Jan 14, 2005
    #12
  13. LnkWizard

    Neil Guest

    Re: The lusers are loose

    did you hear "kpg" <> say in news:ecNhsom#EHA.792
    @TK2MSFTNGP11.phx.gbl:

    > The whole process took 2 minutes. Several days later we got
    > a bill in the mail for $100.00 for legal consultation.


    nice...$50 a minute...I should up my fees...

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    Visit www.mcngp.com and ask Neil a simple question
     
    Neil, Jan 14, 2005
    #13
  14. LnkWizard

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    In news:Xns95DE6EE6B5E2plentespamsuxsofthom@207.46.248.16,
    JaR <> rambled:
    > In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, LnkWizard climbed on a soapbox &
    > opined:
    >
    >> It has been a strange day today, I didn't even make it to my office
    >> before one of our lusers stopped me in the hallway with a problem.
    >>.><<Rant snipped for brevity>>>

    >
    > My immediate mangler's desk is within spitting distance of mine.
    > About all he uses his confuser for is e-mail. Whenever Outhouse
    > hiccups, I am instantly summoned to "take a look" at the fusking
    > thing. No matter that, if he gave the problem even a picosecond of
    > thought, he could have figured it out for himself. Oh, no. It's much
    > easier for me to stop whatever I happen to be doing at the moment,
    > walk over to his desk, tell him, "OK, just delete X" "No, right click
    > the file and...No, the file that was highli...No RIGHT click...RIGHT
    > cli...RIGHT button on the mous...NO! Not the fusking...Oh, for cripes
    > sake, move over and let me do it! no I won't *read* the fusking
    > e-mail for your eyes only. No really. Well then minimise the doggone
    > thing. *NO* don't delete it! Oh, well, we can retrieve it from the
    > deleted items folder, now just let me sit down and I'll *NO* don't
    > empty the delet..."


    I used to get maybe two or three times a week, a call that goes something
    like this:
    "Hi Ken!"
    "Hi <luser's name>."
    "I think I have a little problem. Can you help me?"
    "I sure hope so. What's the problem?"
    "I don't know, that's why I'm calling you."
    "Alright, let me try again. Why do you think you have a problem?"
    "I can't send mail. My Outbox is bold and it says 1 next to it."
    "What? You mean your emails are going to the Outbox? That's normal. They'll
    be sent relatively quickly."
    "No, it's been like that for 10 minutes already! Is my mail sent?"
    "No <luser's name>, if it's still in the Outbox, it hasn't been sent. Let me
    go check the server and make sure everything's working alright."
    ....41 seconds later, I show up at the luser's desk
    "Alright, looks as if the mail server is running alright, let me check your
    computer....yeah, network connection is alright...hmm....Here it is. Please
    do not uncheck 'Work Offline'."
    "Oh, that was an accident."
    "Right. I understand, it's right below 'Print'. Not a problem, just make
    sure you check that before calling down to us to fix your problem."
    "OK, sorry about that!"
    "Welcome."

    Now, I get calls like this:
    "Hi Ken!"
    "Hi, <luser's name>. What can I do you for?"
    "My email's not working."
    "Open Outlook. Go to File. Then uncheck 'Work Offline'. Bye."

    Outhouse causes more problems for the lusers than any other program, by far.
    And we even have a luser who was granted access to Crystal Reports. He's the
    luseriest luser, but even he has less problems with CR than Outhouse.

    --

    KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26

    Briscobar AT gmail DOT com

    www.mcngp.com may or may not be a shelter for runaway youths.
     
    Ken Briscoe, Jan 14, 2005
    #14
  15. LnkWizard

    JaR Guest

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Ken Briscoe climbed on a soapbox &
    opined:

    > Outhouse causes more problems for the lusers than any other program,
    > by far. And we even have a luser who was granted access to Crystal
    > Reports. He's the luseriest luser, but even he has less problems with
    > CR than Outhouse.
    >


    And on another, equally predictable note. I just hung up the phone. One of
    the empty-headed little darlings from our other location.

    "Could you drive over and take a look at my computer? It's running really
    slow, and keeps wanting to go some some strange webpage."

    Sure, what else do I have to do today.

    --
    JaR
    Thug 10110
    Click on MCNGP.com and open all the attachments!
     
    JaR, Jan 14, 2005
    #15
  16. >And on another, equally predictable note. I just hung up the phone. One of
    >the empty-headed little darlings from our other location.
    >
    >"Could you drive over and take a look at my computer? It's running really
    >slow, and keeps wanting to go some some strange webpage."
    >
    >Sure, what else do I have to do today.


    .... reply to daft posts in microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse perhaps?

    Kline Sphere (Chalk) MCNGP #3
     
    The Poster Formerly Known as Kline Sphere, Jan 14, 2005
    #16
  17. LnkWizard

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    In news:,
    The Poster Formerly Known as Kline Sphere <.@> rambled:
    >>And on another, equally predictable note. I just hung up the phone.
    >>One of the empty-headed little darlings from our other location.
    >>
    >>"Could you drive over and take a look at my computer? It's running
    >>really slow, and keeps wanting to go some some strange webpage."
    >>
    >>Sure, what else do I have to do today.

    >
    > ... reply to daft posts in microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse perhaps?


    which is infinitely more important than some homepage hijacker.

    --

    KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26

    Briscobar AT gmail DOT com

    www.mcngp.com will kill you! No, not! Only kidding!
     
    Ken Briscoe, Jan 14, 2005
    #17
  18. Ken Briscoe wrote:
    >
    > I used to get maybe two or three times a week, a call that goes
    > something like this:
    > "Hi Ken!"
    > "Hi <luser's name>."
    > "I think I have a little problem. Can you help me?"
    > "I sure hope so. What's the problem?"
    > "I don't know, that's why I'm calling you."
    > "Alright, let me try again. Why do you think you have a problem?"


    See, here's where you could learn a lesson from ELIZA.

    > "I can't send mail. My Outbox is bold and it says 1 next to it."
    > "What? You mean your emails are going to the Outbox? That's normal.


    ELIZA would have said something like:

    "How do you feel about not being able to send mail?"

    > They'll be sent relatively quickly."
    > "No, it's been like that for 10 minutes already! Is my mail sent?"
    > "No <luser's name>, if it's still in the Outbox, it hasn't been sent.
    > Let me go check the server and make sure everything's working
    > alright." ...41 seconds later, I show up at the luser's desk
    > "Alright, looks as if the mail server is running alright, let me
    > check your computer....yeah, network connection is
    > alright...hmm....Here it is. Please do not uncheck 'Work Offline'."
    > "Oh, that was an accident."
    > "Right. I understand, it's right below 'Print'. Not a problem, just
    > make sure you check that before calling down to us to fix your
    > problem." "OK, sorry about that!"
    > "Welcome."
    >
    > Now, I get calls like this:
    > "Hi Ken!"
    > "Hi, <luser's name>. What can I do you for?"
    > "My email's not working."
    > "Open Outlook. Go to File. Then uncheck 'Work Offline'. Bye."
    >
    > Outhouse causes more problems for the lusers than any other program,
    > by far. And we even have a luser who was granted access to Crystal
    > Reports. He's the luseriest luser, but even he has less problems with
    > CR than Outhouse.


    In all seriousness (no, really), this is the kind of thing that Microsoft
    should be told. I wasn't aware that "Work Off-line" was right next to
    "Print." MS pride's itself in it's highly-researched user interfaces. This
    looks like a bone-head design mistake to me. You could be rich and famous
    (well, maybe just famous) for bringing this to their attention.

    --
    Fris "They could AT LEAST put a pop-up when that option is selected" bee®,
    MCNGP #13

    The MCNGP Team - We're here to help!
    http://www.mcngp.com

    Certaholics
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
     
    =?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE?=, Jan 14, 2005
    #18
  19. LnkWizard

    Neil Guest

    did you hear Frisbee® <> say in
    news:#DrfcTn#:

    > In all seriousness (no, really), this is the kind of thing that
    > Microsoft should be told. I wasn't aware that "Work Off-line" was
    > right next to "Print." MS pride's itself in it's highly-researched
    > user interfaces. This looks like a bone-head design mistake to me.
    > You could be rich and famous (well, maybe just famous) for bringing
    > this to their attention.




    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    Visit www.mcngp.com for your chance to amuse
    nerd32768 and annoy the rest of us
     
    Neil, Jan 14, 2005
    #19
  20. LnkWizard

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    In news:%23DrfcTn%,
    Frisbee® <> rambled:
    >
    > In all seriousness (no, really), this is the kind of thing that
    > Microsoft should be told. I wasn't aware that "Work Off-line" was
    > right next to "Print." MS pride's itself in it's highly-researched
    > user interfaces. This looks like a bone-head design mistake to me.
    > You could be rich and famous (well, maybe just famous) for bringing
    > this to their attention.


    It's right below it in the File menu (in Outlook 2003, at least...don't know
    off the top of my head about other versions). And it seems that quite
    commonly, especially for the users with lapdogs, they tick Work Offline
    instead of Print, and never realize it. Or they do realize it but don't know
    how to uncheck it (seriously). Or, they know how to uncheck it, but would
    rather bother me to do it.

    --

    KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26

    Briscobar AT gmail DOT com

    www.mcngp.com is part of a balanced breakfast.
     
    Ken Briscoe, Jan 14, 2005
    #20
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