OT: No Respect for Rodney

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by Keyboard Cowboy, Jul 11, 2003.

  1. 1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy... I'd
    have had nothing to play with.

    2.. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on
    over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.

    3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me.
    Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

    4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy
    jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you
    doing that?" He said "Because you came home early."

    5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put a
    shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase,
    and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

    6. I was such an ugly kid... When I played in the sandbox,
    the cat kept covering me up.

    7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a
    toaster and radio.

    8. I was such an ugly baby... My mother never breast fed
    me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

    9. I'm so ugly... My father carried around a picture of
    the kid who came with his wallet.

    10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room
    and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we
    could, but he pulled through."

    11. I'm so ugly... My mother had morning sickness... AFTER
    I was born.

    12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent
    a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more
    proof.

    13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him
    to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think
    we'll ever find them?" He said,"I don't know kid. There's
    so many places they can hide."

    14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next
    Tuesday.

    15. I'm so ugly... I worked in a pet shop, and people kept
    asking how big I'd get.

    16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I
    get up and I look in the mirror... I feel like throwing
    up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but
    your eyesight is perfect."

    17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of
    sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and
    get some rest.

    18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How
    can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a
    cliff.

    19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every
    room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm.
    Last night he went on the paper four times - three of
    those times I was reading it.

    20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy for birth
    control.

    21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his
    lap; he was in the electric chair.
    Keyboard Cowboy, Jul 11, 2003
    #1
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