OT Friday humor

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by Consultant, Nov 14, 2003.

  1. Consultant

    Consultant Guest

    A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected

    a half-gallon of 2% milk,
    a carton of eggs,
    a quart of orange juice,
    a head of romaine lettuce,
    a 2 lb. can of coffee,
    and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

    As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
    standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

    While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,

    "You must be single."

    The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by
    the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six
    items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections
    that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're
    absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

    The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

    --
    Consultant, MCNGP Founding Father
    www.mcngp.tk
     
    Consultant, Nov 14, 2003
    #1
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  2. Consultant

    Mike Guest

    lol

    >-----Original Message-----
    >A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she

    selected
    >
    >a half-gallon of 2% milk,
    >a carton of eggs,
    >a quart of orange juice,
    >a head of romaine lettuce,
    >a 2 lb. can of coffee,
    >and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
    >
    >As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to

    check out, a drunk
    >standing behind her watched as she placed the items in

    front of the cashier.
    >
    >While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk

    calmly stated,
    >
    >"You must be single."
    >
    >The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but

    she was intrigued by
    >the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

    She looked at her six
    >items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual

    about her selections
    >that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital

    status.
    >
    >Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you

    know what, you're
    >absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
    >
    >The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
    >
    >--
    >Consultant, MCNGP Founding Father
    >www.mcngp.tk
    >
    >
    >.
    >
     
    Mike, Nov 14, 2003
    #2
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  3. Consultant

    Jose Guest

    Nasty ;-(

    "Consultant" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected
    >
    > a half-gallon of 2% milk,
    > a carton of eggs,
    > a quart of orange juice,
    > a head of romaine lettuce,
    > a 2 lb. can of coffee,
    > and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
    >
    > As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
    > standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the

    cashier.
    >
    > While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
    >
    > "You must be single."
    >
    > The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued

    by
    > the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her

    six
    > items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her

    selections
    > that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
    >
    > Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're
    > absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
    >
    > The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
    >
    > --
    > Consultant, MCNGP Founding Father
    > www.mcngp.tk
    >
    >
     
    Jose, Nov 14, 2003
    #3
  4. Consultant

    JaR Guest

    "Consultant" <> <wrote in message

    A woman goes to the psychiatrist to find out why she has such rotten luck
    with men. After several visits, the doctor diagnoses her with bipolar
    disorder.

    Shocked, she insists on a second opinion.

    The doctor replied; Oh, and you're ugly, too!

    JaR
     
    JaR, Nov 14, 2003
    #4
  5. JaR wrote:
    > "Consultant" <> <wrote in
    > message
    >
    > A woman goes to the psychiatrist to find out why she has such rotten
    > luck with men. After several visits, the doctor diagnoses her with
    > bipolar disorder.
    >
    > Shocked, she insists on a second opinion.
    >
    > The doctor replied; Oh, and you're ugly, too!


    A famous W.C. Fields routine goes something like:

    Woman: "Why, you're drunk!"
    Fields: "And you're ugly! Tomorrow, I'll be sober."

    --
    Fris "I don't drink water... fish f*ck in it" bee® MCNGP #13

    http://www.mcngp.tk
    The MCNGP Team - We're here to help

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
    Certaholics - We're here if you're beyond help
     
    =?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=, Nov 14, 2003
    #5
  6. Consultant

    JaR Guest

    "Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in message
    <w.c.fields>
    "You, sir, are drunk!"

    "I may be drunk, but you are ugly! Tomorrow I will be sober, but you, madam,
    will be ugly for the rest of your life!"
    </w.c.fields>
     
    JaR, Nov 14, 2003
    #6
  7. Consultant

    Rich Guest

    Thought that was Winston Churchill speaking to Lady Astor.

    >-----Original Message-----
    >"Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in

    message
    ><w.c.fields>
    >"You, sir, are drunk!"
    >
    >"I may be drunk, but you are ugly! Tomorrow I will be

    sober, but you, madam,
    >will be ugly for the rest of your life!"
    ></w.c.fields>
    >
    >
    >.
    >
     
    Rich, Nov 15, 2003
    #7
  8. Consultant

    P Guest

    It was *indeed* Churchill but doesnt the quotation end at "tomorrow,
    Madam, I shall be sober" ?

    On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 07:50:56 -0800, "Rich"
    <> wrote:

    >Thought that was Winston Churchill speaking to Lady Astor.
    >
    >>-----Original Message-----
    >>"Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in

    >message
    >><w.c.fields>
    >>"You, sir, are drunk!"
    >>
    >>"I may be drunk, but you are ugly! Tomorrow I will be

    >sober, but you, madam,
    >>will be ugly for the rest of your life!"
    >></w.c.fields>
    >>
    >>
    >>.
    >>
     
    P, Nov 15, 2003
    #8
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