OT: Friday Funny

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=, Feb 27, 2004.

  1. Found this gem in The Cert Times newsletter today.

    Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
    Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
    afterwards!


    Dear Mr. Baker,

    As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a
    few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors
    have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
    consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the
    commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
    true genetic wastes of our time.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little
    nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is
    not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired
    because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently
    hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you
    vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
    hundredth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
    simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never
    understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you,
    even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an
    IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

    You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for
    fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may
    have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
    responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent
    will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution,
    you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers
    like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is
    unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I
    am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
    1.. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
    illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to
    hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you
    over the next couple of years to keep you honest ,because I know you would
    be unable to do it on your own.
    2.. I have all the passwords to every account on the system,
    and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
    decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
    conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
    believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the
    administration.
    3.. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of
    your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to
    take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them
    like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen
    such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been
    copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of
    recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct
    your mistakes.)
    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
    recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody,
    and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the
    public.

    Never f--- with your systems administrator. Why? Because they
    know what you do with all that free time!

    Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

    Cecelia



    --
    Fris "Cecelia... you're breakin' my heart" bee®, MCNGP #13

    Certaholics
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
    =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=, Feb 27, 2004
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    Re: Friday Funny

    > Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
    > Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
    > afterwards!


    <snip>

    You think? I have a hard time believing this is real. But funny nonetheless.

    --

    KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26

    first initial last name AT hotmail DOT com
    Ken Briscoe, Feb 27, 2004
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=

    JaR Guest

    Frisbee® MCNGP opined, On 2/27/04 7:46 AM:

    > Found this gem in The Cert Times newsletter today.
    >
    > Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
    > Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
    > afterwards!
    >
    >
    > Dear Mr. Baker,
    >
    > As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a
    > few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors


    <Hilarity Snipped>

    I've seen this one several times, every one with different names. Still
    hilarious, though.

    JaR
    JaR, Feb 27, 2004
    #3
  4. Re: Friday Funny

    And now, the rest of the story:
    http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/zantex.asp

    --
    Larry Samuels MS-MVP (Windows-Shell/User)
    Associate Expert
    Unofficial FAQ for Windows Server 2003 at
    http://pelos.us/SERVER.htm
    Expert Zone - www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/expertzone
    "Ken Briscoe" <> wrote in message
    news:%23pX%23oMV$...
    > > Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
    > > Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
    > > afterwards!

    >
    > <snip>
    >
    > You think? I have a hard time believing this is real. But funny

    nonetheless.
    >
    > --
    >
    > KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26
    >
    > first initial last name AT hotmail DOT com
    >
    >
    Larry Samuels, Feb 28, 2004
    #4
  5. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=

    Network Guru Guest

    Re: Friday Funny

    Frisbee,

    That was soooo funny. Thank you for sharing it. You are hilarious. Do
    you ever have time to take a work break from newgroup posting and smoking?

    "Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in message
    news:OkP1pjU$...
    > Found this gem in The Cert Times newsletter today.
    >
    > Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
    > Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
    > afterwards!
    >
    >
    > Dear Mr. Baker,
    >
    > As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a
    > few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors
    > have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
    > consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the
    > commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
    > true genetic wastes of our time.
    >
    > Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little
    > nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is
    > not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired
    > because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently
    > hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you
    > vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
    > hundredth time.
    >
    > You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
    > simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never
    > understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to

    you,
    > even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what

    an
    > IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
    >
    > You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for
    > fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may
    > have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
    > responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent
    > will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial

    evolution,
    > you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.

    Managers
    > like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is
    > unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I
    > am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
    > 1.. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
    > illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to
    > hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call

    you
    > over the next couple of years to keep you honest ,because I know you would
    > be unable to do it on your own.
    > 2.. I have all the passwords to every account on the system,
    > and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
    > decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
    > conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
    > believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the
    > administration.
    > 3.. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures

    of
    > your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to
    > take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase

    them
    > like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen
    > such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been
    > copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter

    of
    > recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct
    > your mistakes.)
    > Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
    > recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to

    anybody,
    > and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the
    > public.
    >
    > Never f--- with your systems administrator. Why? Because they
    > know what you do with all that free time!
    >
    > Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
    >
    > Cecelia
    >
    >
    >
    > --
    > Fris "Cecelia... you're breakin' my heart" bee®, MCNGP #13
    >
    > Certaholics
    > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
    >
    Network Guru, Feb 28, 2004
    #5
  6. >I've seen this one several times, every one with different names. Still
    >hilarious, though.


    It is NOT hilarious. I never did any of those things she said I
    did.... Oh wait, I see, 'different names', forget what I just said
    [please!].

    Kline Sphere (Chalk) MCNGP #3
    The Poster Formerly Known as Kline Sphere, Feb 28, 2004
    #6
  7. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=

    Network Guru Guest

    Re: Friday Funny

    "Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in message
    news:OkP1pjU$...
    > Found this gem in The Cert Times newsletter today.
    >
    > Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
    > Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
    > afterwards!
    >


    <snip>

    That has been circulating for quite some time. It is a magnanimous gesture
    of you to post your wisdom to the newsgroups throughout the day. Do you
    ever have time to take a work break from your newsgroup and smoking
    activities?
    Network Guru, Feb 28, 2004
    #7
  8. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=

    Ken Briscoe Guest

    Re: Friday Funny

    > That has been circulating for quite some time. It is a magnanimous
    gesture
    > of you to post your wisdom to the newsgroups throughout the day. Do you
    > ever have time to take a work break from your newsgroup and smoking
    > activities?



    You were doing good for a while, too. Now you're back to your old self. It's
    a shame, actually.

    --


    KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26

    first initial last name AT hotmail DOT com


    ---
    Virus? In the computer? Are you serious?
    Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
    Version: 6.0.598 / Virus Database: 380 - Release Date: 2/28/2004
    Ken Briscoe, Feb 28, 2004
    #8
    1. Advertising

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