OT: Attn Ken B and Frisbee®©

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by Network Guru, Jul 7, 2005.

  1. Network Guru

    Network Guru Guest

    Well I am in pursuit of a female via the online route. I need to answer
    three questions selected from a pool of potential questions.... These are
    the questions:

    1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.

    2) Describe your parents relationship with one another

    3)What do you find physically attractive


    I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that will
    make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do a knowledge
    transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you guys a case of
    Yuengling beer.
     
    Network Guru, Jul 7, 2005
    #1
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  2. Network Guru

    Guest Guest

    Re: Attn Ken B and Frisbee®©

    "Network Guru" <> wrote in message
    news:%...
    > Well I am in pursuit of a female via the online route. I need to answer
    > three questions selected from a pool of potential questions.... These are
    > the questions:


    > I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that will
    > make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do a
    > knowledge transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you guys a
    > case of Yuengling beer.


    I have no idea what kind of beer this is, but I'd be game to try it. I'll do
    this, and then I'll call you a fink and a liar if you renig on your
    Youngling Beer. If you don't like my initial answers, I'm open to creating
    new ones.

    Also, if you get an actual 4 dimensional chick through your modem, let me
    know. So far, all I get are these two dimensional ones. They are really
    HAWT, but the papercuts from the printer are killing my libido.

    Now.... keeping in mind "imaginative" and "creative".....
    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    > 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.


    1. I wish all of the chinese women would grow goat heads and develop
    cravings for pancreas.
    2. I wish Copernicus would die again, only this time, it would be really
    slow and painful.
    3. I wish lava came in different flavors, like Mint, Spumoni, or Spicy
    Armadillo.

    > 2) Describe your parents relationship with one another


    My parents are fat, old enough to be my parents, and in their relationship,
    they watch TV and they eat stuff -- I guess that's how they got fat. I know
    for a fact that they had sex at least once, because I found the photos on
    UglyPeople.com. My dad yells and screams alot when he doesn't get his way,
    and his man-boobs jiggle when he's angry. My mom watches Dr. Phil, and
    later on assumes she knows all that Dr. Phil knows. My dad screams at my mom
    alot, mostly to shut up when he's trying to watch TV, occasionally when she
    hasn't brought him enough food to stay fat, and probably when he wants to
    have sex while eating and watching TV.

    If you and I got together, we'd have a relationship like that, only, with a
    better TV, no Dr. Phil allowed, and you can't be fat or old enough to be my
    parents. I don't have man boobs yet, so you'll have to stick around long
    enough for them to grow.

    > 3)What do you find physically attractive


    You, bitch. Every damn thing about you is the shiznit. You are the lollypop
    I like to lick, the gravy overflowing on my mcnugget, the meaty beef magnet
    to my magnificent meat puppet. Yo booty, yo boobies, yo tutti fruity, you
    are the little cutey. From those twinkly little toes to the point on that
    little nose, everything about you is worthy of my prose -- as long as after
    the movie you're the one who blows the hose.

    Of course, the above is only true if you have the face of a supermodel, the
    proportions of a porn star, the attention span and intellect of a 13 year
    old, have yet to spend your inheritance, and are willing to elope without a
    prenuptual agreement. Oh, and you must like spankings. These things are
    important, or you disgust me. Women with values or self-esteem need not
    apply.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Hope that helps!


    Microcephalic S. Bob
    http://www.roblindman.com/ - I spent $5 to renew the domain, just so I could
    type this line, and so Microsoft could tell you they don't trust my website
    just because I used their technology.
     
    Guest, Jul 7, 2005
    #2
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  3. Network Guru

    Briscobar Guest

    Re: Attn Ken B and Frisbee®©

    In news:#,
    Network Guru <> rambled:
    >
    > I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that
    > will make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do
    > a knowledge transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you
    > guys a case of Yuengling beer.


    NG, I appreciate the offer. But that won't be necessary. I'll help you out
    anyway, since I am the Wilt Chamberlain of the short-white-guy world.

    > 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.


    Seeing as you're trying to attract chicks, this is what you go with:
    1. I wish the starving in Ethiopia would stop. They need potatoes.
    2. I wish international terrorism would stop.
    3. I'd wish for more wishes, because world peace hasn't been acheived, and
    neither has a cure for cancer.

    Chicks dig a dude who's greedy with his wishes. I mean, a dude who's in
    touch with the world's needs.

    > 2) Describe your parents relationship with one another


    Simply answer that your father was an absentee dad for one reason or another
    (saying he died in prison when you were 8 is good), and that your childhood
    wasn't so great, but that you love and respect your mom for being a single
    mother. And that you'd never put your kids through what you went through.
    Something like that. Play the pity card, but be a stand-up guy about it. If
    your dad isn't actually dead, you may want to consider killing him if you do
    end up in a relationship with one of these virtual ladies. If she meets him,
    your cover is blown. Unless he's your stepdad. Then it's all good.

    > 3)What do you find physically attractive


    This should be easy. Say that you love all women. Chicks don't believe that,
    so you have to provide details in order to convince them. Say that you love
    the way a woman smells, talks, walks, sucks...er, maybe leave that one out.
    But be honest about race. For example, if you're a racist, you don't want to
    end up with a Black chick, ya know? If you got no problems about race, make
    up a problem. This will instantly narrow the pool down to a manageable
    number.

    I hope my advice has been helpful.


    On a serious note, good luck. I wish I had actual, real advice for you, but
    I'm afraid I don't. I'd tell you just to be honest and open, as that would
    probably make you stand out from the crowd, but people seem put off by too
    much information up front, so I don't know what to tell you, man. Good luck.

    --
    KB

    MCNGP #26
    Please to be click www.mcngp.com. Rgs!
     
    Briscobar, Jul 7, 2005
    #3
  4. Network Guru

    Frisbee® Guest

    Re: Attn Ken B and Frisbee®©

    "Network Guru" <> wrote in message
    news:%...
    > Well I am in pursuit of a female via the online route. I need to answer
    > three questions selected from a pool of potential questions.... These are
    > the questions:
    >
    > 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.


    List to impress the female:

    1) An eternity to spend with you.
    2) and 3) not necessary

    Honest list:

    1) Omnipotence and Omniscience
    2) and 3) not necessary

    > 2) Describe your parents relationship with one another


    Answer to impress the female:

    My parents were high school sweethearts, and that continued through
    college. They raised my siblings and I will a loving firm hand, and
    encouraged and nurtured us as we went through life.

    Honest answer:

    My mother was a crack wh0re and my father an abusive alcoholic with a s3x
    addition, which is what brought them together. They had lots of children
    since they didn't have a clue about birth control, and it was great having
    tax deductions, free child labor, and punching bags around.

    > 3)What do you find physically attractive


    Answer to impress the female:

    The soul.

    Honest answer:

    HUGE knockers.

    > I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that will
    > make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do a
    > knowledge transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you guys a
    > case of Yuengling beer.


    Submit both entries. Surely one will get you a nice match. You might also
    consider mixing and matching the three answers.
     
    Frisbee®, Jul 7, 2005
    #4
  5. Network Guru

    kpg Guest

    =?iso-8859-1?Q?Re:_Attn_Ken_B_and_Frisbee=AE=A9?=

    This is why no one talks to you.
     
    kpg, Jul 7, 2005
    #5
  6. Network Guru

    JaR Guest

    Re: Attn Ken B and Frisbee®©

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, <!-- Freedom is The F-Word --> <? echo
    "General Microcephalic S. Bob"; ?> <!-- Antisocial Interfaces --> // 270-
    290-291-293-294-298-299 spewed across the ether:

    > and so Microsoft could tell you they don't trust my website
    > just because I used their technology.
    >


    C|N>K

    --
    JaR
    Thug 10110
    MCNGP.com/amused
     
    JaR, Jul 7, 2005
    #6
  7. =?Utf-8?Q?RE:_OT:_Attn_Ken_B_and_Frisbee=C2=AE=C2=A9?=

    > 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.
    -For Network Guru to stop looking for girls, cuz obviously they don't like you
    -For Network Guru to understand that you DONT find anyone decent online
    -For Network Guru to shut up, and come back to the real world where actual
    people go out to bars/clubs/and other venues looking for girls/guys

    > 2) Describe your parents relationship with one another


    Completely dysfunctional

    > 3)What do you find physically attractive


    A Diet Coke bottle



    > I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that will
    > make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do a knowledge
    > transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you guys a case of
    > Yuengling beer.


    Here's some advice, stop trying to so hard
     
    =?Utf-8?B?RXZpbEdlZWtHaXJs?=, Jul 7, 2005
    #7
  8. Network Guru

    Frisbee® Guest

    "EvilGeekGirl" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    >> 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.

    > -For Network Guru to stop looking for girls, cuz obviously they don't like
    > you


    Ouch

    > -For Network Guru to understand that you DONT find anyone decent online


    My wife and I disagree with this statement.

    > -For Network Guru to shut up, and come back to the real world where actual
    > people go out to bars/clubs/and other venues looking for girls/guys


    People who don't frequent bars/clubs/and other venues need lovin' too.

    >> 2) Describe your parents relationship with one another

    >
    > Completely dysfunctional


    Who's isn't?

    >> 3)What do you find physically attractive

    >
    > A Diet Coke bottle


    Oh my. GIFS!!1!11!!!!

    >> I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that will
    >> make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do a
    >> knowledge
    >> transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you guys a case of
    >> Yuengling beer.

    >
    > Here's some advice, stop trying to so hard


    NG, aren't you nearing your catch limit?
     
    Frisbee®, Jul 7, 2005
    #8
  9. Network Guru

    Neil Guest

    Re: =?Utf-8?Q?RE:_OT:_Attn_Ken_B_and_Frisbee=C2=AE=C2=A9?=

    did you hear =?Utf-8?B?RXZpbEdlZWtHaXJs?= <> say in
    news::

    > stop trying to so hard
    >


    so then, you're available for NG?

    --
    Neil MCNGP#30

    - Confucius say: Familiarity breed attempt
     
    Neil, Jul 7, 2005
    #9
  10. Network Guru

    JaR Guest

    Re: =?Utf-8?Q?RE:_OT:_Attn_Ken_B_and_Frisbee=C2=AE=C2=A9?=

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, =?Utf-8?B?RXZpbEdlZWtHaXJs?= spewed
    across the ether:

    >> 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.

    > -For Network Guru to stop looking for girls, cuz obviously they don't
    > like you -For Network Guru to understand that you DONT find anyone
    > decent online -For Network Guru to shut up, and come back to the real
    > world where actual people go out to bars/clubs/and other venues
    > looking for girls/guys


    Man! Even with that stinky bait, NG's just reeelin' 'em in today.

    >
    >> 2) Describe your parents relationship with one another

    >
    > Completely dysfunctional


    It ain't love without a restraining order.[1]
    >
    >> 3)What do you find physically attractive

    >
    > A Diet Coke bottle
    >


    2 liter? Yow!

    >
    >
    >> I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that
    >> will make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do
    >> a knowledge transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you
    >> guys a case of Yuengling beer.

    >
    > Here's some advice, stop trying to so hard


    You should ask him about shoe shines.

    [1] $.50 to someone.

    --
    JaR
    Remove hat to reply
    *This Space For Rent*
     
    JaR, Jul 7, 2005
    #10
  11. YOU LOW LIFE PIECE OF CRAP! YOU COULDN"T COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL!!
    YOU HAD TO ASK YOUR LITTLE MCNGP BUM BUDDIES TO DO YOUR THINKING FOR YOU!
    FORGET IT! THE DATE IS OFF!! SCREW YOU HOBO!!!

    "Network Guru" <> wrote in
    news:#:

    > Well I am in pursuit of a female via the online route. I need to
    > answer three questions selected from a pool of potential questions....
    > These are the questions:
    >
    > 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.
    >
    > 2) Describe your parents relationship with one another
    >
    > 3)What do you find physically attractive
    >
    >
    > I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that
    > will make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do a
    > knowledge transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you guys a
    > case of Yuengling beer.
    >
    >
     
    Guru's Female, Jul 7, 2005
    #11
  12. Network Guru

    kpg Guest

    =?iso-8859-1?Q?Re:_OT:_Attn_Ken_B_and_Frisbee=AE=A9?=

    You must be related to J, Edgar Hoover, what with the cross-dressing and
    all.

    "Guru's Female" <> wrote in message
    news:Xns968CB19BBBCE3rowdyyates2124@207.46.248.16...
    ># Host-Name Conflict: file://c:\temp\167364.htm (7/7/2005 4:31:46 PM) #
    > YOU LOW LIFE PIECE OF CRAP! YOU COULDN"T COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL!!
    > YOU HAD TO ASK YOUR LITTLE MCNGP BUM BUDDIES TO DO YOUR THINKING FOR YOU!
    > FORGET IT! THE DATE IS OFF!! SCREW YOU HOBO!!!
    >
    > "Network Guru" <> wrote in
    > news:#:
    >
    >> Well I am in pursuit of a female via the online route. I need to
    >> answer three questions selected from a pool of potential questions....
    >> These are the questions:
    >>
    >> 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.
    >>
    >> 2) Describe your parents relationship with one another
    >>
    >> 3)What do you find physically attractive
    >>
    >>
    >> I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that
    >> will make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do a
    >> knowledge transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you guys a
    >> case of Yuengling beer.
    >>
    >>

    >
    >
    >
     
    kpg, Jul 7, 2005
    #12
  13. Network Guru

    Network Guru Guest

    "Frisbee®" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > "EvilGeekGirl" <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    >>> 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.

    >> -For Network Guru to stop looking for girls, cuz obviously they don't
    >> like you

    >
    >
    > NG, aren't you nearing your catch limit?
    >


    EGG was a 10 lb largemouth bass...and i was fishing with two lb ultralight
    and my pole snapped in half..

    I had serious questions and got some good answers and entertainment out of
    it.
     
    Network Guru, Jul 8, 2005
    #13
  14. Network Guru

    Network Guru Guest

    Re: Attn Ken B and Frisbee®©

    Dude,

    I copied and pasted your answers and sent thtem ....If she has a sense of
    humor I may be ok...if not, I am history. I'll keep ya posted


    "Frisbee®" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > "Network Guru" <> wrote in message
    > news:%...
    >> Well I am in pursuit of a female via the online route. I need to answer
    >> three questions selected from a pool of potential questions.... These are
    >> the questions:
    >>
    >> 1) If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.

    >
    > List to impress the female:
    >
    > 1) An eternity to spend with you.
    > 2) and 3) not necessary
    >
    > Honest list:
    >
    > 1) Omnipotence and Omniscience
    > 2) and 3) not necessary
    >
    >> 2) Describe your parents relationship with one another

    >
    > Answer to impress the female:
    >
    > My parents were high school sweethearts, and that continued through
    > college. They raised my siblings and I will a loving firm hand, and
    > encouraged and nurtured us as we went through life.
    >
    > Honest answer:
    >
    > My mother was a crack wh0re and my father an abusive alcoholic with a
    > s3x addition, which is what brought them together. They had lots of
    > children since they didn't have a clue about birth control, and it was
    > great having tax deductions, free child labor, and punching bags around.
    >
    >> 3)What do you find physically attractive

    >
    > Answer to impress the female:
    >
    > The soul.
    >
    > Honest answer:
    >
    > HUGE knockers.
    >
    >> I need assistance composing something imaginative and creative that will
    >> make me stand out from the crowd If you guys are willing to do a
    >> knowledge transfer, I would be very happy....Will even buy you guys a
    >> case of Yuengling beer.

    >
    > Submit both entries. Surely one will get you a nice match. You might
    > also consider mixing and matching the three answers.
    >
     
    Network Guru, Jul 8, 2005
    #14
  15. Network Guru

    Guest Guest

    Re: Attn Ken B and Frisbee®©

    "JaR" <> wrote in message
    news:Xns968C55327B53Fplentespamsuxsofthom@207.46.248.16...
    > In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, <!-- Freedom is The F-Word --> <? echo
    > "General Microcephalic S. Bob"; ?> <!-- Antisocial Interfaces --> // 270-
    > 290-291-293-294-298-299 spewed across the ether:
    >
    >> and so Microsoft could tell you they don't trust my website
    >> just because I used their technology.
    >>

    >
    > C|N>K
    >
    > --
    > JaR
    > Thug 10110
    > MCNGP.com/amused


    This one has me baffled. I suppose I should look it up on google or
    something. Perhaps it's australian for beer?
     
    Guest, Jul 8, 2005
    #15
  16. Network Guru

    Guest Guest

    "EvilGeekGirl" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    >> 3)What do you find physically attractive

    >
    > A Diet Coke bottle


    You're nasty. Do you like spankings?
     
    Guest, Jul 8, 2005
    #16
  17. Network Guru

    Guest Guest

    Re: RE: OT: Attn Ken B and Frisbee®©

    "JaR" <> wrote in message
    news:Xns968C742056B91jrtrilbylakabuxcom@207.46.248.16...

    > It ain't love without a restraining order.[1]


    This is always my goal when there's a breakup. I've been trying to determine
    the least amount of steps to achieving a restraining order, without actually
    committing a crime. It's a good way of getting rid of the chick for good.
    Plus, if you find one that gets the restraining order, and afterwards has an
    influx of feelings and wants you back, the s3x is excellent (as it is with
    any form of forbidden lurve), and then, you can have her arrested afterward.

    Microcephalic S. Bob
    http://www.roblindman.com/ - they all belong in prison.
     
    Guest, Jul 8, 2005
    #17
  18. Network Guru

    Guest Guest

    "Guru's Female" <> wrote in message
    news:Xns968CB19BBBCE3rowdyyates2124@207.46.248.16...
    > YOU LOW LIFE PIECE OF CRAP! YOU COULDN"T COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL!!
    > YOU HAD TO ASK YOUR LITTLE MCNGP BUM BUDDIES TO DO YOUR THINKING FOR YOU!
    > FORGET IT! THE DATE IS OFF!! SCREW YOU HOBO!!!


    this one is the one for you, NG. She's already offered to screw you, even if
    you are a hobo!
     
    Guest, Jul 8, 2005
    #18
  19. =?Utf-8?Q?Re:_Attn_Ken_B_and_Frisbee=C2=AE=C2=A9?=

    Mmmmm, yuengling....

    No it's from Pennsylvania, very good stuff. Can only find it on the east
    coast. Reminds me of a Shiner Bock or Killians Red.

    I'm driving from the midwest to Maine in a couple weeks to visit relatives.
    I'm bringing a few cases back. I have a co-worked that is "begging" me to
    bring him back some of their Black and Tan.

    http://www.yuengling.com/

    "<!-- Freedom is The F-Word --> <? echo \" wrote:
    > This one has me baffled. I suppose I should look it up on google or
    > something. Perhaps it's australian for beer?
    >
    >
    >
     
    =?Utf-8?B?SmVuSA==?=, Jul 8, 2005
    #19
  20. Network Guru

    Frisbee® Guest

    Re: Attn Ken B and Frisbee®©

    "JenH" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > Mmmmm, yuengling....
    >
    > No it's from Pennsylvania, very good stuff. Can only find it on the east
    > coast. Reminds me of a Shiner Bock or Killians Red.
    >
    > I'm driving from the midwest to Maine in a couple weeks to visit
    > relatives.
    > I'm bringing a few cases back. I have a co-worked that is "begging" me to
    > bring him back some of their Black and Tan.
    >
    > http://www.yuengling.com/


    The lady has good taste.

    <Insert joke here>
     
    Frisbee®, Jul 8, 2005
    #20
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