OT: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=, Sep 3, 2004.

  1. (Original source unknown)

    Hurricane Preparation for Floridians

    After this past week we all should be aware of hurricane preparations, but
    in case you need a refresher course: We're into the enter the peak of the
    hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a
    weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Atlantic Ocean and
    making two basic meteorological points.

    (1) There is no need to panic.
    (2) We could all be killed.

    Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new to
    the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the
    possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on our insurance
    industry experiences, we recommend that you
    follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

    STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least
    three days.
    STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car.
    STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

    Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this
    sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida. We'll start
    with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

    Homeowner's Insurance:

    If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this
    insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic
    requirements:

    (1) It is reasonably well-built, and
    (2) It is located in Wisconsin

    Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that
    might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer
    not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to
    pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance
    business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an
    insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to
    the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop
    you like used dental floss.

    Shutters:

    Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows and all the
    doors. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and
    disadvantages:

    Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself,
    they're cheap.

    Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get
    them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands
    will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

    Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and
    will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have
    to sell your house to pay for them.

    Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane
    protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand
    hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He
    lives in Nebraska.

    Hurricane Proofing your property:

    As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like
    barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.. You
    should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you
    don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built (immediately).
    Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

    Evacuation Route:

    If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned
    out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your
    driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying area). The
    purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home
    when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in
    a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred
    thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

    Hurricane Supplies:

    If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them
    now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible
    minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with
    strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition to food and
    water, you will need the following supplies:

    At least 23 flashlights and at least $167 worth of batteries that will turn
    out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.

    Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the
    bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!)

    A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a
    hurricane, but it looks cool.)

    A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who
    went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)

    $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy
    a generator from a man with no discernible teeth. Of course these are just
    basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that
    you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching
    TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you
    over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from
    the ocean.


    Good luck, and remember:

    It's great living in Paradise!!

    --
    Fris "irate Gators?" bee®, MCNGP #13

    The MCNGP Team - We're here to help!
    http://www.mcngp.com

    Certaholics
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
    =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=, Sep 3, 2004
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    Jtyc Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    > It's great living in Paradise!!

    We had a breeze this morning. 'bout 10 mph outa the North. Made it a
    chilly 65 degrees.



    Don't worry about me though. S'okay now. Nice and sunny out. Warming up
    nicely.
    Jtyc, Sep 3, 2004
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    molsonexpert Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    "Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@spamblockerbitch!@yahoo.com> wrote in message
    news:...
    > > It's great living in Paradise!!

    >
    > We had a breeze this morning. 'bout 10 mph outa the North. Made it a
    > chilly 65 degrees.
    >
    >
    >
    > Don't worry about me though. S'okay now. Nice and sunny out. Warming

    up
    > nicely.
    >
    >
    >
    >


    Actually, the scariest part for me is that I95 on the news last night looked
    suspiciously like the 400 this afternoon when I'm trying to get to
    *&^#(**()??! cottage...

    steve.
    molsonexpert, Sep 3, 2004
    #3
  4. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    kpg Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    "Frisbee®" wrote in message news:...
    >
    > Hurricane Preparation for Floridians
    >

    <good advice snipped>

    As a resident of southern Louisiana I fell your pain. All I can say
    is good luck. When they hit FL we get that dry northern flow which
    should be great high school football weather.

    Thanks FL for taking the big ones for us!

    But don't worry, wireless networks work great on open water.

    See you on the other side...

    --
    kpg A+ MCP MCNGP 0x22
    Certificates? We don't need no stinking Certificates!
    kpg, Sep 3, 2004
    #4
  5. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    JaR Guest

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Frisbee® climbed on a soapbox &
    opined:

    <FunnyStuff Snipped>

    What a buch of wussies. A little wind and rain coming and you cancel the
    season opener.

    http://www.tallahassee.com/mld/tallahassee/sports/9569180.htm

    Why, in my day, a teensy bit of bad weather never stopped us from playing
    football...

    Seriously, Fris, batten the hatches and keep your head down.

    JaR
    Concerned Thug
    JaR, Sep 3, 2004
    #5
  6. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    kpg Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    And Florida wins the prize.

    http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/paststate.html

    --
    kpg A+ MCP MCNGP 0x22
    Certificates? We don't need no steenking Certificates!
    kpg, Sep 3, 2004
    #6
  7. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    Neil Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    babbling on and on again "molsonexpert" <> spewed in
    news:e#:

    >
    > Actually, the scariest part for me is that I95 on the news last night
    > looked suspiciously like the 400 this afternoon when I'm trying to get
    > to *&^#(**()??! cottage...


    WHAT!?!?! abandoning TO on the last weekend of the Ex? crazy talk...

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    the "curious" hair on the soap of society
    Neil, Sep 3, 2004
    #7
  8. JaR wrote:
    > In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Frisbee® climbed on a soapbox &
    > opined:
    >
    > <FunnyStuff Snipped>
    >
    > What a buch of wussies. A little wind and rain coming and you cancel
    > the season opener.
    >
    > http://www.tallahassee.com/mld/tallahassee/sports/9569180.htm
    >
    > Why, in my day, a teensy bit of bad weather never stopped us from
    > playing football...


    Bobby "Dad Gummit" Bowden, coach of the Florida State
    Crimi^H^H^H^H^HSeminoles was recently quoted as saying something to the
    effect of "They told us we should play the game anyway, and that would make
    Frances go wide right."

    > Seriously, Fris, batten the hatches and keep your head down.


    There may be five of us huddled in the hallway this weekend.

    --
    Fris "Get yer foot outta my face!" bee®, MCNGP #13

    The MCNGP Team - We're here to help!
    http://www.mcngp.com

    Certaholics
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
    =?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE?=, Sep 3, 2004
    #8
  9. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    Neil Guest

    babbling on and on again Frisbee® <>
    spewed in news::

    > (Original source unknown)
    >

    <snipthingobeauty>

    too bad, but whereever it was posted it was PotW if not PotY

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    the "curious" hair on the soap of society
    Neil, Sep 3, 2004
    #9
  10. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    billyw Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    ha.. now your jealous of our "storms"
    preperations for those consist of going to the shops and getting some
    beer... just like any other day


    "Frisbee®" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > (Original source unknown)
    >
    > Hurricane Preparation for Floridians
    >
    > After this past week we all should be aware of hurricane preparations,
    > but
    > in case you need a refresher course: We're into the enter the peak of the
    > hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a
    > weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Atlantic Ocean and
    > making two basic meteorological points.
    >
    > (1) There is no need to panic.
    > (2) We could all be killed.
    >
    > Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new
    > to
    > the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the
    > possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on our insurance
    > industry experiences, we recommend that you
    > follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
    >
    > STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least
    > three days.
    > STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car.
    > STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.
    >
    > Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this
    > sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida. We'll
    > start
    > with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:
    >
    > Homeowner's Insurance:
    >
    > If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this
    > insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic
    > requirements:
    >
    > (1) It is reasonably well-built, and
    > (2) It is located in Wisconsin
    >
    > Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that
    > might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would
    > prefer
    > not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required
    > to
    > pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance
    > business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an
    > insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal
    > to
    > the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop
    > you like used dental floss.
    >
    > Shutters:
    >
    > Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows and all the
    > doors. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and
    > disadvantages:
    >
    > Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself,
    > they're cheap.
    >
    > Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get
    > them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands
    > will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.
    >
    > Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and
    > will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have
    > to sell your house to pay for them.
    >
    > Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane
    > protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand
    > hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He
    > lives in Nebraska.
    >
    > Hurricane Proofing your property:
    >
    > As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like
    > barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.. You
    > should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you
    > don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built (immediately).
    > Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly
    > missiles.
    >
    > Evacuation Route:
    >
    > If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route
    > planned
    > out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your
    > driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying area).
    > The
    > purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your
    > home
    > when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in
    > a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two
    > hundred
    > thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.
    >
    > Hurricane Supplies:
    >
    > If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them
    > now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible
    > minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with
    > strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition to food and
    > water, you will need the following supplies:
    >
    > At least 23 flashlights and at least $167 worth of batteries that will
    > turn
    > out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
    >
    > Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the
    > bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!)
    >
    > A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a
    > hurricane, but it looks cool.)
    >
    > A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody
    > who
    > went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)
    >
    > $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can
    > buy
    > a generator from a man with no discernible teeth. Of course these are
    > just
    > basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important
    > that
    > you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and
    > watching
    > TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you
    > over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from
    > the ocean.
    >
    >
    > Good luck, and remember:
    >
    > It's great living in Paradise!!
    >
    > --
    > Fris "irate Gators?" bee®, MCNGP #13
    >
    > The MCNGP Team - We're here to help!
    > http://www.mcngp.com
    >
    > Certaholics
    > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
    >
    billyw, Sep 3, 2004
    #10
  11. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    molsonexpert Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    "Neil" <> wrote in message
    news:Xns955986F27F603neilmcsehotmailcom@207.46.248.16...
    > babbling on and on again "molsonexpert" <> spewed in
    > news:e#:
    >
    > >
    > > Actually, the scariest part for me is that I95 on the news last night
    > > looked suspiciously like the 400 this afternoon when I'm trying to get
    > > to *&^#(**()??! cottage...

    >
    > WHAT!?!?! abandoning TO on the last weekend of the Ex? crazy talk...
    >
    > --
    > Neil MCNGP #30
    > the "curious" hair on the soap of society


    I kinda went last weekend.

    steve.
    molsonexpert, Sep 3, 2004
    #11
  12. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    Neil Guest

    babbling on and on again JaR <> spewed in
    news:Xns955963594119Fplentespamsuxsofthom@207.46.248.16:

    > Seriously, Fris, batten the hatches and keep your head down.


    agreed, hopefully you aren't in the path (IIRC you aren't)

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    the "curious" hair on the soap of society
    Neil, Sep 3, 2004
    #12
  13. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    Neil Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    babbling on and on again "molsonexpert" <> spewed in news:
    #:

    > I kinda went last weekend.


    sounds like you are sorry to admit that. I have lived here for 20 years and
    been to the Ex once...I should take my kids one year...NAAAAAAAAAH!

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    the "curious" hair on the soap of society
    Neil, Sep 3, 2004
    #13
  14. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    Neil Guest

    babbling on and on again Frisbee® <> spewed
    in news::

    >> Seriously, Fris, batten the hatches and keep your head down.

    >
    > There may be five of us huddled in the hallway this weekend.


    good luck...

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    the "curious" hair on the soap of society
    Neil, Sep 3, 2004
    #14
  15. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    JaR Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, kpg climbed on a soapbox & opined:

    > And Florida wins the prize.
    >
    > http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/paststate.html
    >


    Tell them what they've won, Don Pardoe!
    JaR, Sep 3, 2004
    #15
  16. Neil wrote:
    > babbling on and on again JaR <> spewed in
    > news:Xns955963594119Fplentespamsuxsofthom@207.46.248.16:
    >
    >> Seriously, Fris, batten the hatches and keep your head down.

    >
    > agreed, hopefully you aren't in the path (IIRC you aren't)


    It changes hour to hour. This hour, we are again, but the good news is that
    by the time it hits us, it should be under 72 mph, and downgraded to a
    tropical storm.

    --
    Fris "Kite flying weather" bee®, MCNGP #13

    The MCNGP Team - We're here to help!
    http://www.mcngp.com

    Certaholics
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
    =?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE?=, Sep 3, 2004
    #16
  17. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    JaR Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Neil climbed on a soapbox & opined:

    > babbling on and on again "molsonexpert" <> spewed in
    > news: #:
    >
    >> I kinda went last weekend.

    >
    > sounds like you are sorry to admit that. I have lived here for 20
    > years and been to the Ex once...I should take my kids one
    > year...NAAAAAAAAAH!
    >


    Good grief! You gotta take your kids to the CNE! Whattsa matta you?

    I think failure to take them may be neglect and punishable by law.

    JaR
    JaR, Sep 3, 2004
    #17
  18. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    kpg Guest

    kpg, Sep 3, 2004
    #18
  19. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    Neil Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    babbling on and on again JaR <> spewed in
    news:Xns95596C27FDBFBplentespamsuxsofthom@207.46.248.16:

    > In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, kpg climbed on a soapbox & opined:
    >
    >> And Florida wins the prize.
    >>
    >> http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/paststate.html
    >>

    >
    > Tell them what they've won, Don Pardoe!
    >


    <fx=over teh top radio voice>
    You've won an all expenses paid trip to the worst hair day in history.
    Your epic adventure begins with slight pelting of rain to ensure your
    hair is a wet playground for the oncoming "breath of fresh air for your
    hair". Winds of up to 250 MPH will ensure that "you'll have a doo that
    will make the others go oooooo"! After your new Coiffure you can enjoy
    the panoramic view of total destruction to your property while waiting
    for you beloved family pets to fall from the sky! CONGRATULATIONS
    FLORIDA!
    </fx>

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    the "curious" hair on the soap of society
    Neil, Sep 3, 2004
    #19
  20. =?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE?=

    Neil Guest

    Re: Attention Florida MCSE's (to keep it sort of on-topic)

    babbling on and on again JaR <> spewed in
    news:Xns9559807B5FBA9plentespamsuxsofthom@207.46.248.16:

    > I think failure to take them may be neglect and punishable by law.


    so get you lawyer and have him rush me...my kids prefer Darien Lake...

    --
    Neil MCNGP #30
    the "curious" hair on the soap of society
    Neil, Sep 3, 2004
    #20
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