On a lighter note ...

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Bryan, Oct 29, 2005.

  1. Bryan

    Bryan Guest

    David Beckham runs in early from training one afternoon and dashes to the
    bedroom to find Posh spread out on the bed naked, puffing and panting.
    Becks asks her suspiciously "What are you doing?"
    Posh stutters a reply "I'm - er, er.... I'm having a heart attack"
    "Oh no" he cries in despair. "I'll call an ambulance"..
    He runs downstairs, picks up the phone and begins dialling 999.
    However, he is stopped in his tracks by a tearful Brooklyn. "What's the
    matter, son?" asks Becks.
    "Uncle Giggsy is in the wardrobe with no clothes on, daddy" sniffles
    Brooklyn.
    Infuriated by this, Beckham runs upstairs and kicks down the wardrobe door.
    Sure enough, the carpet-chested Welshman is stood there, starkers.
    "You w@nker Giggsy" screams Becks. "My wife is right over there having a
    heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the sh!t out of
    Brooklyn."

    #####

    Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
    their faces.
    The coroner calls in the police to tell them what has happened.
    First body: "Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his
    mistress. Hence the enormous smile, inspector", says the Coroner.
    Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it
    all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
    The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
    "Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one: Big Seamus Quinn
    from Donegal, 30, struck by lightning."
    "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
    "Thought he was having his photo taken."

    #####

    A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
    She tells the salesman: "I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of
    my computer screen".
    The surprised salesman replies: - "But madam, computers do not have
    curtains...".
    And the blonde said: - "Helloooo.... I've got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    #####

    An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
    the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress" she says.
    "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
    "No" she replies "This time it's mayonnaise."

    Nick in Northallerton
    Bryan, Oct 29, 2005
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. Bryan

    Shep© Guest

    On Sat, 29 Oct 2005 01:11:32 GMT If you fall from a tree,leave your
    anger on the branch and then "Bryan" <> sent this
    :

    >David Beckham runs in early from training one afternoon and dashes to the
    >bedroom to find Posh spread out on the bed naked, puffing and panting.
    >Becks asks her suspiciously "What are you doing?"
    >Posh stutters a reply "I'm - er, er.... I'm having a heart attack"
    >"Oh no" he cries in despair. "I'll call an ambulance"..
    >He runs downstairs, picks up the phone and begins dialling 999.
    >However, he is stopped in his tracks by a tearful Brooklyn. "What's the
    >matter, son?" asks Becks.
    >"Uncle Giggsy is in the wardrobe with no clothes on, daddy" sniffles
    >Brooklyn.
    >Infuriated by this, Beckham runs upstairs and kicks down the wardrobe door.
    >Sure enough, the carpet-chested Welshman is stood there, starkers.
    >"You w@nker Giggsy" screams Becks. "My wife is right over there having a
    >heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the sh!t out of
    >Brooklyn."
    >
    >#####
    >
    >Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
    >their faces.
    >The coroner calls in the police to tell them what has happened.
    >First body: "Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his
    >mistress. Hence the enormous smile, inspector", says the Coroner.
    >Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it
    >all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
    >The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
    >"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one: Big Seamus Quinn
    >from Donegal, 30, struck by lightning."
    >"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
    >"Thought he was having his photo taken."
    >
    >#####
    >
    >A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
    >She tells the salesman: "I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of
    >my computer screen".
    >The surprised salesman replies: - "But madam, computers do not have
    >curtains...".
    >And the blonde said: - "Helloooo.... I've got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    >
    >#####
    >
    >An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
    >the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress" she says.
    >"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
    >"No" she replies "This time it's mayonnaise."
    >
    >Nick in Northallerton
    >


    Sod PC.It's funny :D



    --
    Free Windows/PC help,
    http://www.geocities.com/sheppola/trouble.html
    Shep©, Oct 29, 2005
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Bryan

    Bryan Guest

    Shep© wrote:
    > On Sat, 29 Oct 2005 01:11:32 GMT If you fall from a tree,leave your
    > anger on the branch and then "Bryan" <> sent this
    >>

    >
    >
    > Sod PC.It's funny :D


    <nods>
    :)
    Bryan, Oct 29, 2005
    #3
    1. Advertising

Want to reply to this thread or ask your own question?

It takes just 2 minutes to sign up (and it's free!). Just click the sign up button to choose a username and then you can ask your own questions on the forum.
Similar Threads
  1. RObErT_RaTh

    On a lighter note....

    RObErT_RaTh, Sep 23, 2005, in forum: The Lounge
    Replies:
    11
    Views:
    2,420
    RObErT_RaTh
    Oct 3, 2005
  2. Bryan

    On a lighter note...

    Bryan, Sep 21, 2003, in forum: Computer Support
    Replies:
    11
    Views:
    724
  3. Bryan

    On a lighter note: Game

    Bryan, Oct 6, 2003, in forum: Computer Support
    Replies:
    28
    Views:
    744
    Miggsee
    Oct 9, 2003
  4. Bryan

    On a further lighter note

    Bryan, Oct 12, 2003, in forum: Computer Support
    Replies:
    9
    Views:
    536
    Gary G. Taylor
    Oct 13, 2003
  5. Bryan

    On a lighter note...

    Bryan, Jan 5, 2004, in forum: Computer Support
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    554
    Bryan
    Jan 5, 2004
Loading...

Share This Page