On a lighter note...

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Bryan, Sep 21, 2003.

  1. Bryan

    Bryan Guest

    Found these: Thought I'd post them anyway!

    I had been teaching my three-year old daughter the Lord's Prayer. For
    several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the
    prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she
    carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us
    not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
    ........
    And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets
    as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
    ........
    A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
    boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
    .......
    A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way
    to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One
    bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
    ........
    The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, & as he reached,
    he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then
    he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord & nearly tripping before
    jerking it again. After several circles & jerks, a little girl in the third
    pew leaned toward her mother & whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt
    us?"
    ........
    Six-year old Angie & her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in
    church. Joel giggled, sang & talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had
    enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going
    to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church & said,
    "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
    ........
    A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The
    boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw
    the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would
    say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'". Kevin turned to
    his younger brother & said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
    ........
    A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year old son ran
    up to him, grabbed his hand, & led him to the shore, where a seagull lay
    dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died &
    went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment & then said, "Did
    God throw him back down?"
    ........
    A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
    ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her
    what it
    was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, & shouted, "Thou shall not take the
    covers off thy neighbour's wife."
    ........
    At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
    human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed
    especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of
    Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he was
    ill, & asked, "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have
    a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife!"
    ........
    This last one is out of the mouth of my co-workers 3-year old son Reese:
    "Our father, who does art in heaven, Howard is his name...."
    ........
    Bryan, Sep 21, 2003
    #1
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  2. Bryan

    trotsky Guest

    Religion = Opium for the people.
    Sounds like someone overdosed.
    L.Trotsky
    trotsky, Sep 21, 2003
    #2
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  3. Bryan

    Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (1/3)

    On Sun, 21 Sep 2003 22:45:39 +0200, "trotsky" <1@2.3> wrote:

    >Religion = Opium for the people.
    >Sounds like someone overdosed.
    >L.Trotsky
    >

    a. It wasn't Trotsky, it was Karl Marx.

    b. The full quote:

    Works of Karl Marx 1843
    Introduction to A Contribution to the Critique of Hegel's Philosophy
    of Right
    by Karl Marx
    Deutsch-Französische Jahrbucher, February, 1844

    For Germany, the criticism of religion has been essentially completed,
    and the criticism of religion is the prerequisite of all criticism.

    The profane existence of error is compromised as soon as its heavenly
    oratio pro aris et focis [speech for the altars and hearths] has been
    refuted. Man, who has found only the reflection of himself in the
    fantastic reality of heaven, where he sought a superman, will no
    longer feel disposed to find the mere appearance of himself, the
    non-man [Unmensch], where he seeks and must seek his true reality.

    The foundation of irreligious criticism is: Man makes religion,
    religion does not make man.

    Religion is, indeed, the self-consciousness and self-esteem of man who
    has either not yet won through to himself, or has already lost himself
    again. But, man is no abstract being squatting outside the world. Man
    is the world of man — state, society. This state and this society
    produce religion, which is an inverted consciousness of the world,
    because they are an inverted world. Religion is the general theory of
    this world, its encyclopaedic compendium, its logic in popular form,
    its spiritual point d'honneur, it enthusiasm, its moral sanction, its
    , Sep 21, 2003
    #3
  4. Bryan

    Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (2/3)

    solemn complement, and its universal basis of consolation and
    justification. It is the fantastic realization of the human essence
    since the human essence has not acquired any true reality. The
    struggle against religion is, therefore, indirectly the struggle
    against that world whose spiritual aroma is religion.

    ***********Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the
    expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering.
    Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a
    heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium
    of the people.**************

    The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is
    the demand for their real happiness. To call on them to give up their
    illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a
    condition that requires illusions. The criticism of religion is,
    therefore, in embryo, the criticism of that vale of tears of which
    religion is the halo.

    Criticism has plucked the imaginary flowers on the chain not in order
    that man shall continue to bear that chain without fantasy or
    consolation, but so that he shall throw off the chain and pluck the
    living flower. The criticism of religion disillusions man, so that he
    will think, act, and fashion his reality like a man who has discarded
    his illusions and regained his senses, so that he will move around
    himself as his own true Sun. Religion is only the illusory Sun which
    revolves around man as long as he does not revolve around himself.

    It is, therefore, the task of history, once the other-world of truth
    , Sep 21, 2003
    #4
  5. Bryan

    Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (3/3)

    has vanished, to establish the truth of this world. It is the
    immediate task of philosophy, which is in the service of history, to
    unmask self-estrangement in its unholy forms once the holy form of
    human self-estrangement has been unmasked. Thus, the criticism of
    Heaven turns into the criticism of Earth, the criticism of religion
    into the criticism of law, and the criticism of theology into the
    criticism of politics.

    The following exposition [a full-scale critical study of Hegel's
    Philosophy of Right was supposed to follow this introduction] — a
    contribution to this undertaking — concerns itself not directly with
    the original but with a copy, with the German philosophy of the state
    and of law. The only reason for this is that it is concerned with
    Germany.

    ....massive snippage...

    The rest can be found at:

    http://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1843/critique-hpr/intro.htm

    You have been warned ! <g>

    --

    CowardlyLion
    , Sep 21, 2003
    #5
  6. Bryan

    Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (1/3)

    On Sun, 21 Sep 2003 21:41:20 GMT, wrote:

    >On Sun, 21 Sep 2003 22:45:39 +0200, "trotsky" <1@2.3> wrote:
    >
    >>Religion = Opium for the people.
    >>Sounds like someone overdosed.
    >>L.Trotsky
    >>

    >a. It wasn't Trotsky, it was Karl Marx.


    Oops - sorry about 3-part message. Have adjusted my system.

    --

    Wesley Clark for President
    www.DraftWesleyClark.com
    , Sep 21, 2003
    #6
  7. Bryan

    Pino Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (1/3)

    <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > On Sun, 21 Sep 2003 21:41:20 GMT, wrote:
    >
    > >On Sun, 21 Sep 2003 22:45:39 +0200, "trotsky" <1@2.3> wrote:
    > >
    > >>Religion = Opium for the people.
    > >>Sounds like someone overdosed.
    > >>L.Trotsky
    > >>

    > >a. It wasn't Trotsky, it was Karl Marx.

    >

    I am Trotsky (no, not dead) and I was quoting Karl Marx and I agree: We do
    need to adjust the system (not just yours).
    L.Trotsky
    Pino, Sep 21, 2003
    #7
  8. Bryan

    trotsky Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (1/3)

    "Pino" <> wrote in message
    news:3f6e1de1$0$58702$4all.nl...
    > <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    > > On Sun, 21 Sep 2003 21:41:20 GMT, wrote:
    > >
    > > >On Sun, 21 Sep 2003 22:45:39 +0200, "trotsky" <1@2.3> wrote:
    > > >
    > > >>Religion = Opium for the people.
    > > >>Sounds like someone overdosed.
    > > >>L.Trotsky
    > > >>
    > > >a. It wasn't Trotsky, it was Karl Marx.

    > >

    > I am Trotsky (no, not dead) and I was quoting Karl Marx and I agree: We

    do
    > need to adjust the system (not just yours).
    > L.Trotsky
    >
    >

    Oops, messed up again
    trotsky, Sep 21, 2003
    #8
  9. Bryan

    trotsky Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (3/3)

    yeah, right, nutcase
    trotsky, Sep 21, 2003
    #9
  10. Bryan

    Bryan Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (3/3)

    "trotsky" <1@2.3> wrote in message
    news:3f6e1eaf$0$136$4all.nl
    > yeah, right, nutcase


    F'H Guys! It was only a few "cute" jokes!
    <phew>
    lol
    Bryan, Sep 22, 2003
    #10
  11. Bryan

    Pino Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (3/3)

    "Bryan" <> wrote in message
    news:Wbrbb.1391$...
    > "trotsky" <1@2.3> wrote in message
    > news:3f6e1eaf$0$136$4all.nl
    > > yeah, right, nutcase

    >
    > F'H Guys! It was only a few "cute" jokes!
    > <phew>
    > lol
    >
    >
    >

    No, this is a matter of life and death.
    Pino, Sep 22, 2003
    #11
  12. Bryan

    Pino Guest

    Re: On a lighter note... (3/3)

    "Pino" <> wrote in message
    news:3f6e90ad$0$58707$4all.nl...
    > "Bryan" <> wrote in message
    > news:Wbrbb.1391$...
    > > "trotsky" <1@2.3> wrote in message
    > > news:3f6e1eaf$0$136$4all.nl
    > > > yeah, right, nutcase

    > >
    > > F'H Guys! It was only a few "cute" jokes!
    > > <phew>
    > > lol
    > >
    > >
    > >

    > No, this is a matter of life and death.
    >
    >

    CowardlyChristian is taking me too seriously.
    Time for a spectator sport involving a christian and a lion.
    Run christian, run.
    Pino, Sep 22, 2003
    #12
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