Non-Widescreen Version Of DVD Received As Hanukkah Gift

Discussion in 'DVD Video' started by Justin, Dec 17, 2003.

  1. Justin

    Justin Guest

    BROOKLYN, NY -- Self-described film buff Tyler Rosenstein was disappointed
    to receive a non-letterboxed "full screen" version of the movie The
    Matrix Reloaded as a Hanukkah gift, the 19-year-old reported Monday.


    "Great," said Rosenstein, concealing his displeasure from his
    beaming aunt and uncle, Hannah and Bernie Greenberg, as he gazed
    at the freshly unwrapped DVD in his hand. "Just what I wanted.
    The Matrix Reloaded."

    "With approximately a third of the movie's visual content
    missing, thanks to 'pan-and-scan,'" he added under his breath.

    Rosenstein, a freshman studying philosophy at NYU, said he was
    momentarily excited to receive the special collector's edition
    DVD of The Matrix Reloaded, which features more than an hour of
    supplemental material, including behind-the-scenes footage and a
    preview of the Enter The Matrix video game. But Rosenstein's joy
    faded when his eye caught the words "full-screen edition"
    emblazoned across the top of the box.

    Minutes later, Rosenstein's cousin Cory made an exchange of the
    gift impossible when he insisted that Rosenstein open the DVD to
    show him the "easter egg."

    While Rosenstein thanked his aunt and uncle for the gift, he
    took leave of the family get-together shortly after dinner and
    locked himself in his room to sulk.

    "It's frustrating, because they came so close to getting me
    exactly what I wanted," said Rosenstein, lying on his bed and
    sneering at the DVD. "This is a $30 item. But what am I supposed
    to do with it? Why would they even release a full-screen Matrix
    Reloaded, when every single frame of that movie is so artfully
    composed? Even leaving framing aside, the movie cries out for
    each of its visual elements to be seen."

    "It's an unwatchable piece of crap," said Rosenstein, tossing
    the DVD onto a pile of gifts that included a sweatshirt and a
    digital memo recorder.

    In spite of his annoyance with the non-letterboxed DVD,
    Rosenstein said he knew better than to complain to his
    relatives.

    "There's just no way to tell them without coming off like a
    complete asshole," Rosenstein said. "I'm just going to have to
    eat it."

    The Greenbergs remain unaware of their mistake.

    "We're so happy that we were able to get Tyler a gift he really
    wanted this year," Hannah Greenberg said. "You wouldn't believe
    how hard he is to shop for. He's so picky about his movies. For
    his birthday, we gave him The Wedding Singer. I thought all the
    kids liked that Adam Sandler—Cory said he sings a song about
    Hanukkah. Well, boy, was getting Tyler that movie a mistake!"

    This year, instead of guessing, the Greenbergs took a suggestion
    from Rosenstein's father, who was aware that his son owned the
    first Matrix movie.

    "Tyler's got very specific tastes," Bernie said. "He told us he
    likes those foreign films. What did he call it? The Criterion
    Collection. Well, Hannah and I tried to find those, but they
    didn't have them at Target. We sure didn't want what happened
    with the wizard movie to happen again."

    Bernie spoke in reference to last year, when the Greenbergs came
    close to finding a gift Rosenstein would like. The misguided
    couple gave their nephew the theatrical-release version of Lord
    Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring, instead of the
    extended version which contains 40 extra minutes of footage—a
    distinction Rosenstein gently explained to the confused
    gift-givers.

    "If we'd known, we'd have been happy to get him the other
    version," Hannah said. "Well, this time we were very careful.
    There were two versions at the store, and we made sure to get
    the special one. See, Tyler hates it when they cut out part of
    the movie."

    Confusion over the misleading term "full-screen" caused his
    well-meaning relatives to purchase the inferior version of the
    DVD.

    "Why do they call it 'full-screen' anyway, when it's only
    two-thirds of the stupid movie?" Rosenstein asked. "Fucking
    bullshit aspect ratio!"

    As of press time, Rosenstein had not decided what to do with the
    DVD.

    "I can't trade it to any of my friends," Rosenstein said.
    "They'd just roll their eyes when they saw it wasn't
    letterboxed. Basically, I'm screwed. I'm stuck with a product
    that has no reason to exist."

    "I suppose I could just throw it away," Rosenstein continued.
    "But what if Aunt Hannah or Uncle Bernie asked about it? I'll
    probably have to just keep this horrible thing on my shelf. I'm
    trapped, like Neo and the other warriors of Zion, in a
    fictitious world I never chose to be a part of: an imaginary
    alternate universe where non-widescreen DVDs are remotely
    tolerable."
    Justin, Dec 17, 2003
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. Justin

    Stan Brown Guest

    In article <2go.com> in
    alt.video.dvd, Justin wrote:
    >BROOKLYN, NY -- Self-described film buff Tyler Rosenstein was disappointed
    >to receive a non-letterboxed "full screen" version of the movie The
    >Matrix Reloaded as a Hanukkah gift, the 19-year-old reported Monday.


    Is this from The Onion? It sounds like it.

    If it's a true story, the solution is simple: take the unopened DVD
    to a Borders, Best Buy, or similar, explain the circumstances, and
    ask to do a straight swap for the widescreen edition.

    That's what I did last xmas when well-meaning friends gave me a
    fullscreen DVD. Naturally I took the unwanted gift to the returns
    counter as soon as I entered the store, to avoid suspicion of
    shoplifting. Since it was Dec 27, I had to try a couple stores
    before I found one that still had widescreen in stock, but _all_
    were willing to make the exchange if they had stock.

    --
    Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems, Cortland County, New York, USA
    http://OakRoadSystems.com
    DVD FAQ: http://dvddemystified.com/dvdfaq.html
    other FAQs: http://oakroadsystems.com/tech/faqget.htm
    Stan Brown, Dec 17, 2003
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Justin

    Richard C. Guest

    "Stan Brown" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    : In article <2go.com> in
    : alt.video.dvd, Justin wrote:
    : >BROOKLYN, NY -- Self-described film buff Tyler Rosenstein was disappointed
    : >to receive a non-letterboxed "full screen" version of the movie The
    : >Matrix Reloaded as a Hanukkah gift, the 19-year-old reported Monday.
    :
    : Is this from The Onion? It sounds like it.
    :
    : If it's a true story, the solution is simple: take the unopened DVD
    : to a Borders, Best Buy, or similar, explain the circumstances, and
    : ask to do a straight swap for the widescreen edition.

    ==================
    You didn't read the whole thing, did you?
    ===================
    :
    : That's what I did last xmas when well-meaning friends gave me a
    : fullscreen DVD. Naturally I took the unwanted gift to the returns
    : counter as soon as I entered the store, to avoid suspicion of
    : shoplifting. Since it was Dec 27, I had to try a couple stores
    : before I found one that still had widescreen in stock, but _all_
    : were willing to make the exchange if they had stock.
    :
    : --
    : Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems, Cortland County, New York, USA
    : http://OakRoadSystems.com
    : DVD FAQ: http://dvddemystified.com/dvdfaq.html
    : other FAQs: http://oakroadsystems.com/tech/faqget.htm
    Richard C., Dec 17, 2003
    #3
  4. Justin

    Joshua Zyber Guest

    "Stan Brown" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > Is this from The Onion? It sounds like it.


    It is from The Onion. Nice of the original poster to credit his source.
    Joshua Zyber, Dec 17, 2003
    #4
  5. Justin

    Codswallop Guest

    On Wed, 17 Dec 2003 22:00:12 GMT, Stan Brown wrote in alt.video.dvd:

    > Is this from The Onion? It sounds like it.
    >
    > If it's a true story, the solution is simple: take the unopened DVD
    > to a Borders, Best Buy, or similar, explain the circumstances, and
    > ask to do a straight swap for the widescreen edition.


    You seemed to have missed his part:

    Minutes later, Rosenstein's cousin Cory made an exchange of the
    gift impossible when he insisted that Rosenstein open the DVD to
    show him the "easter egg."

    --
    - Cods


    (un ROT-13 to email)
    Codswallop, Dec 18, 2003
    #5
  6. Justin

    Bur Guest

    Interesting. Penn-Stater posted (Mar 23, 2000 in rec.video.dvd):

    "But they also know that the filmmakers do not want their movies to be
    subjected to P&S or else they would have filmed it in an academy ratio
    or they
    would have the video release open-matted. I already mentioned it in
    another
    post, but the makers of "The Matrix" refuse to allow it to be released
    in
    pan-and-scan on DVD and I don't blame them. To take something that
    they
    worked on for years and butcher it just to appease an ignorant
    majority is
    wrong. I've very pleased that they're standing their ground, and the
    studios
    DO listen to the filmmakers, although perhaps not as much as they
    should."

    Apparently the Matrix folks have changed their minds. FS Matrix is
    available on Amazon.
    Bur, Dec 18, 2003
    #6
  7. Justin

    John Savard Guest

    On Wed, 17 Dec 2003 18:28:36 GMT, Justin <> wrote,
    in part:

    >BROOKLYN, NY -- Self-described film buff Tyler Rosenstein


    Ah, this must be from the Onion?

    John Savard
    http://home.ecn.ab.ca/~jsavard/index.html
    John Savard, Dec 18, 2003
    #7
  8. Justin

    Justin Guest

    Stan Brown wrote on [Wed, 17 Dec 2003 17:00:12 -0500]:
    > In article <2go.com> in
    > alt.video.dvd, Justin wrote:
    >>BROOKLYN, NY -- Self-described film buff Tyler Rosenstein was disappointed
    >>to receive a non-letterboxed "full screen" version of the movie The
    >>Matrix Reloaded as a Hanukkah gift, the 19-year-old reported Monday.

    >
    > Is this from The Onion? It sounds like it.


    crap! The link got dropped, yes, it's from The Onion
    Justin, Dec 18, 2003
    #8
  9. Justin

    Monkey Man Guest

    Most people would say the kid is an ungrateful brat, but sadly I can relate
    to this.
    With the direction televisions are going, the only aspect that should be
    allowed to be printed is widescreen.

    Full versions look like crap on my widescreen TV.

    "Justin" <> wrote in message
    news:2go.com...
    > BROOKLYN, NY -- Self-described film buff Tyler Rosenstein was disappointed
    > to receive a non-letterboxed "full screen" version of the movie The
    > Matrix Reloaded as a Hanukkah gift, the 19-year-old reported Monday.
    >
    >
    > "Great," said Rosenstein, concealing his displeasure from his
    > beaming aunt and uncle, Hannah and Bernie Greenberg, as he gazed
    > at the freshly unwrapped DVD in his hand. "Just what I wanted.
    > The Matrix Reloaded."
    >
    > "With approximately a third of the movie's visual content
    > missing, thanks to 'pan-and-scan,'" he added under his breath.
    >
    > Rosenstein, a freshman studying philosophy at NYU, said he was
    > momentarily excited to receive the special collector's edition
    > DVD of The Matrix Reloaded, which features more than an hour of
    > supplemental material, including behind-the-scenes footage and a
    > preview of the Enter The Matrix video game. But Rosenstein's joy
    > faded when his eye caught the words "full-screen edition"
    > emblazoned across the top of the box.
    >
    > Minutes later, Rosenstein's cousin Cory made an exchange of the
    > gift impossible when he insisted that Rosenstein open the DVD to
    > show him the "easter egg."
    >
    > While Rosenstein thanked his aunt and uncle for the gift, he
    > took leave of the family get-together shortly after dinner and
    > locked himself in his room to sulk.
    >
    > "It's frustrating, because they came so close to getting me
    > exactly what I wanted," said Rosenstein, lying on his bed and
    > sneering at the DVD. "This is a $30 item. But what am I supposed
    > to do with it? Why would they even release a full-screen Matrix
    > Reloaded, when every single frame of that movie is so artfully
    > composed? Even leaving framing aside, the movie cries out for
    > each of its visual elements to be seen."
    >
    > "It's an unwatchable piece of crap," said Rosenstein, tossing
    > the DVD onto a pile of gifts that included a sweatshirt and a
    > digital memo recorder.
    >
    > In spite of his annoyance with the non-letterboxed DVD,
    > Rosenstein said he knew better than to complain to his
    > relatives.
    >
    > "There's just no way to tell them without coming off like a
    > complete asshole," Rosenstein said. "I'm just going to have to
    > eat it."
    >
    > The Greenbergs remain unaware of their mistake.
    >
    > "We're so happy that we were able to get Tyler a gift he really
    > wanted this year," Hannah Greenberg said. "You wouldn't believe
    > how hard he is to shop for. He's so picky about his movies. For
    > his birthday, we gave him The Wedding Singer. I thought all the
    > kids liked that Adam Sandler-Cory said he sings a song about
    > Hanukkah. Well, boy, was getting Tyler that movie a mistake!"
    >
    > This year, instead of guessing, the Greenbergs took a suggestion
    > from Rosenstein's father, who was aware that his son owned the
    > first Matrix movie.
    >
    > "Tyler's got very specific tastes," Bernie said. "He told us he
    > likes those foreign films. What did he call it? The Criterion
    > Collection. Well, Hannah and I tried to find those, but they
    > didn't have them at Target. We sure didn't want what happened
    > with the wizard movie to happen again."
    >
    > Bernie spoke in reference to last year, when the Greenbergs came
    > close to finding a gift Rosenstein would like. The misguided
    > couple gave their nephew the theatrical-release version of Lord
    > Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring, instead of the
    > extended version which contains 40 extra minutes of footage-a
    > distinction Rosenstein gently explained to the confused
    > gift-givers.
    >
    > "If we'd known, we'd have been happy to get him the other
    > version," Hannah said. "Well, this time we were very careful.
    > There were two versions at the store, and we made sure to get
    > the special one. See, Tyler hates it when they cut out part of
    > the movie."
    >
    > Confusion over the misleading term "full-screen" caused his
    > well-meaning relatives to purchase the inferior version of the
    > DVD.
    >
    > "Why do they call it 'full-screen' anyway, when it's only
    > two-thirds of the stupid movie?" Rosenstein asked. "Fucking
    > bullshit aspect ratio!"
    >
    > As of press time, Rosenstein had not decided what to do with the
    > DVD.
    >
    > "I can't trade it to any of my friends," Rosenstein said.
    > "They'd just roll their eyes when they saw it wasn't
    > letterboxed. Basically, I'm screwed. I'm stuck with a product
    > that has no reason to exist."
    >
    > "I suppose I could just throw it away," Rosenstein continued.
    > "But what if Aunt Hannah or Uncle Bernie asked about it? I'll
    > probably have to just keep this horrible thing on my shelf. I'm
    > trapped, like Neo and the other warriors of Zion, in a
    > fictitious world I never chose to be a part of: an imaginary
    > alternate universe where non-widescreen DVDs are remotely
    > tolerable."
    Monkey Man, Dec 18, 2003
    #9
  10. Justin

    Dick Sidbury Guest

    Monkey Man wrote:
    > Most people would say the kid is an ungrateful brat, but sadly I can relate
    > to this.

    At least one person thinks the story is made up. The kid apparently was
    sensitive enough not to mention the problem to his relatives when they
    gave him the gift, so he would be unlikely to give the story to the
    media. I can't imagine if the story were true that they would mind if
    he told them that it was full screen and that he preferred wide screen
    and planned to exchange it the next day but was pleased with the choice
    of movie. I plan to give DVDs as Christmas presents this year. I plan
    to give wide screen, but will be quite willing for the recipients to
    swap them for full screen versions if that's what they prefer.

    dick
    Dick Sidbury, Dec 18, 2003
    #10
  11. >With the direction televisions are going, the only aspect that should be
    >allowed to be printed is widescreen.
    >


    so you advocate the cropping of old 4:3 Academy Ratio movies to widescreen?

    >
    >Full versions look like crap on my widescreen TV.


    true, but that's still not any reason to crop old 4:3 Academy Ratio movies to
    widescreen just in order to fill the screen on your widescreen tv.

    Most widescreen tv sets have a setting that allows you to crop the 4:3 movie to
    fill your screen.

    There's NOT any reason to release them on dvd that way.

    They shoulfd only be released in oar always.
    Waterperson77, Dec 18, 2003
    #11
  12. Justin

    Monkey Man Guest

    "Waterperson77" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > >With the direction televisions are going, the only aspect that should be
    > >allowed to be printed is widescreen.
    > >

    >
    > so you advocate the cropping of old 4:3 Academy Ratio movies to

    widescreen?
    >
    > >
    > >Full versions look like crap on my widescreen TV.

    >
    > true, but that's still not any reason to crop old 4:3 Academy Ratio movies

    to
    > widescreen just in order to fill the screen on your widescreen tv.
    >
    > Most widescreen tv sets have a setting that allows you to crop the 4:3

    movie to
    > fill your screen.
    >
    > There's NOT any reason to release them on dvd that way.
    >
    > They shoulfd only be released in oar always.


    Not advocating cropping 4:3 to WS, but since movies in the theaters are not
    4:3, why put them out on 4:3?
    Monkey Man, Dec 18, 2003
    #12
  13. Justin

    Stan Brown Guest

    Stan Brown, Dec 18, 2003
    #13
  14. Dick Sidbury wrote:

    > Monkey Man wrote:
    >
    >> Most people would say the kid is an ungrateful brat, but sadly I can
    >> relate
    >> to this.

    >
    > At least one person thinks the story is made up.


    It most certainly is. Good piece of satire, too.
    Tallulah Blanket, Dec 18, 2003
    #14
  15. Justin

    Richard C. Guest

    "Monkey Man" <> wrote in message
    news:%k9Eb.1178$...
    : Most people would say the kid is an ungrateful brat, but sadly I can relate
    : to this.
    : With the direction televisions are going, the only aspect that should be
    : allowed to be printed is widescreen.
    :
    : Full versions look like crap on my widescreen TV.
    :
    =============
    Actually they look like crap on any TV.
    Richard C., Dec 18, 2003
    #15
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