........Non-FAQ Redux........

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by gangle, Aug 3, 2009.

  1. gangle

    gangle Guest

    24hoursupport.helpdesk Non-FAQ:

    This newsgroup has little or no purpose,
    is not worth reading, and no one here has
    a clue about anything. But, if you insist on
    still reading it, here are some warnings
    as to what you can expect. See below
    for links to random web sites that
    should prove useless to everyone who
    isn't already a deranged fuckwit.

    First, this NG is not your ISP (Incredibly
    Stupid Place). No matter how screwed-up
    your ISP can be, this NG is always worse.
    This group is one of the thousands of
    poorly conceived newsgroups found on
    USENET (Unnecessary System Enabling
    Numbskulls Easy Transmissions). Since
    this is not the helpdesk of your ISP, no one
    knows your account number, password,
    bellybutton diameter, or if you are wearing
    dirty underpants on your head (which is common
    when posting to this NG). We (tinw) don't even
    know what day it is or why dogs don't mind
    licking their own asses. For this kind of information,
    do a web search or marry a dog for the answers.

    While posting, don't use HTML
    (Hot Tangy Meatballs and Linguini)
    or you're likely to mess-up your monitor
    and get red sauce stains all over the keyboard.
    Use plain text to post, if you can find any.
    (There's a plain text shortage in the world today,
    so good luck, you pitiful goomers.)

    DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPS. This makes
    you look like an illiterate hillbilly who SCREAMS a
    lot due to ear and BRAIN DAMAGE from drinking
    TOO MUCH toxic, home-made CORN WHISKEY.
    Most people and some other species who
    post here have trouble forming complete
    sentences, spelling correctly, punctuating (especially
    with regard to semicolons), knowing when to capitalize
    letters and words, expressing coherent thoughts or
    understandale questions, and setting their time zones
    correctly. Therefore, if you are literate and respect logic,
    please try to dumb down your syntax and stifle your thought
    processes to ensure the low standards we have come to
    expect, enjoy, and reward -- such as bottom-posting "LOL" in
    response to a 300-line post of gerbil-level meanderings, or
    asking how to make your own newsgroup.

    Things that make no difference in this group:
    calling people filthy, repugnant names for no
    apparent reason; attaching business cards,
    animated gifs, or Lesbian videos to posts;
    testing...testing...testing; and advertising services
    or products -- *especially* penis-extension devices!
    Sure, a few pushy goody-two-shoes will
    threaten to turn you in to your ISP for doing these things.
    Just ignore such anal-retentive, chronic non-masturbators.
    Do whatever you want because USENET has no rules,
    and this NG has no charter, no FAQ, and discourages
    common decency in favor of the senseless, porcine
    ramblings of boorish, drooling shitbrains.

    If you ask for advice in this NG, you are seriously
    confused and masochistic. The answers you
    get, if any, will either be inept or purposely
    slanted to cause damage to your computer so
    that you will eventually burst into tears of frustration
    and desperation. Ha...Ha...Ha......there's nothing
    funnier than a pathetic cry-baby newbie goomer
    who is gullible enough to ask to be savagely
    corn-holed by total strangers!


    NOW FOR THOSE USELESS LINKS
    I PROMISED YOU (SOME MIGHT NOT
    EVEN WORK!):

    http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/hil/hil-8026.html

    http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatures/pages/staypuff.html

    http://www.eskimo.com/~gburlin/restore/uncirc.txt

    http://www.xylemltd.com/

    http://www.dpi.qld.gov.au/pigs/

    http://www.tractorbynet.com/forums/...r-options-3-bottom-tractor-shows-2006-081.jpg

    http://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2005/1028/

    http://www.oie.int/fr/maladies/fiches/f_A130.htm

    http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/223.cfm

    http://sulcus.berkeley.edu/mcb/165_001/papers/manuscripts/_912.html

    http://funreports.com/fun/03-08-2005/1247-penis-0

    http://www.esopuslibrary.org/

    http://www.funhous3.com/images/firefox/firefox_boobs.jpg

    **** you.


    --
    If You Eat Shit, You Will Eventually Shit Shit
     
    gangle, Aug 3, 2009
    #1
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  2. gangle

    VanguardLH Guest

    gangle wrote:

    > 24hoursupport.helpdesk Non-FAQ:
    >
    > This newsgroup has little or no purpose,
    > is not worth reading,


    Which would include gangle's own post here.

    > and no one here has a clue about anything.


    Gangle is here. So gangle has not a clue.

    > But, if you insist on still reading it, here are some warnings as to
    > what you can expect.


    Like posts from idiots, like gangle. Alas, gangle doesn't reserve his
    inane wit to just this group. He spreads his moronity across 63 groups,
    including kooks, cows, religion, politics, and other such varied groups
    that are oh-so-more-practical than this one, uh huh.

    > See below for links to random web sites that should prove useless to
    > everyone who isn't already a deranged fuckwit.


    Gangle is an expert on fuckwits being one himself.

    <snip - more drivel from an expert fuckwit>
     
    VanguardLH, Aug 4, 2009
    #2
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