NON-FAQ Redux

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by grangle, Sep 10, 2004.

  1. grangle

    grangle Guest

    This newsgroup has little or no purpose,
    is not worth reading, and no one here has
    a clue about anything. But, if you insist on
    still reading it, here are some warnings
    as to what you can expect. See below
    for links to random web sites that
    should prove useless to everyone who
    isn't already a deranged fuckwit.

    First, this NG is not your ISP (Incredibly
    Stupid Place). No matter how screwed-up
    your ISP can be, this NG is always worse.
    This group is one of the thousands of
    poorly conceived newsgroups found on
    USENET (Unnecessary System Enabling
    Numbskulls Easy Transmissions). Since
    this is not the helpdesk of your ISP, no one
    knows your account number, password,
    bellybutton diameter, or if you are wearing
    dirty underpants on your head (which is common
    when posting to this NG). We (tinw) don't even
    know what day it is or why dogs don't mind
    licking their own asses. For this kind of information,
    do a web search or seduce a dog for the answers.

    While posting, don't eat HTML
    (Hot Tangy Meatballs and Linguini)
    or you're likely to mess-up your monitor
    and get red sauce stains all over the keyboard.
    Use plain text to post, if you can find any.
    (There's a plain text shortage in the world today,
    so good luck, you pitiful goomers.)

    DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPS. This makes
    you look like an illiterate hillbilly who SCREAMS a
    lot due to ear and brain damage from drinking
    too much toxic, home-made corn whiskey.
    Most people and some other species who
    post here have trouble forming complete
    sentences, spelling correctly, punctuating (especially
    with regard to semicolons), knowing when to capitalize
    letters and words, expressing coherent thoughts or
    understandale questions, and setting their time zones
    correctly. Therefore, if you are literate and respect logic,
    please try to dumb down your syntax and stifle your thought
    processes to ensure the low standards we have come to
    expect, enjoy, and reward -- such as bottom-posting "LOL" in
    response to a 300-line post of gerbil-level meanderings, or
    asking how to make your own newsgroup.

    Things that make no difference in this group:
    calling people filthy, repugnant names for no
    apparent reason; attaching business cards,
    animated gifs, or Lesbian videos to posts;
    testing...testing...testing; and advertising services
    or products -- *especially* penis-extension devices!
    Sure, a few pushy goody-two-shoes will
    threaten to turn you in to your ISP for doing these things.
    Just ignore such anal-retentive, chronic masturbators.
    Do whatever you want because USENET has no rules,
    and this NG has no charter, no FAQ, and discourages
    common decency in favor of the senseless, porcine
    ramblings of boorish, immature, drooling shitbrains.

    If you ask for advice in this NG, you are seriously
    confused and masochistic. The answers you
    get, if any, will either be inept or purposely
    slanted to cause damage to your computer so
    that you will eventually burst into tears of frustration
    and desperation. Ha...Ha...Ha......there's nothing
    funnier than a pathetic cry-baby newbie goomer
    who is gullible enough to ask to be savagely
    corn-holed by total strangers!


    NOW FOR THOSE USELESS LINKS
    I PROMISED YOU (SOME DON'T
    EVEN WORK!):

    http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/hil/hil-8026.html

    http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatures/pages/staypuff.html

    http://www.eskimo.com/~gburlin/restore/uncirc.txt

    http://www.xylemltd.com/

    http://www.expage.com/page/dagandnorb

    http://www.tractors2000.com/row-tractors/row-tractor.jpg

    http://www.oldhousechronicle.com/archives/vol01/issue04/projects/doorbell.html

    http://www.randomviolins.org/~dwap/academia/learn.htm

    http://www.oie.int/fr/maladies/fiches/f_A130.htm

    http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/223.cfm

    http://www.addasize.com/testimonials.html

    http://www.get-a-longer-penis.com/penislength/penisenhancement.htm

    --
    HowToFixComputers.com: Land of the Brain Dead
    grangle, Sep 10, 2004
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. Um....can I be the illiterate hillbilly?

    "grangle" <> chiseled in stone, the following words
    news::

    > This newsgroup has little or no purpose,
    > is not worth reading, and no one here has
    > a clue about anything. But, if you insist on
    > still reading it, here are some warnings
    > as to what you can expect. See below
    > for links to random web sites that
    > should prove useless to everyone who
    > isn't already a deranged fuckwit.
    >
    > First, this NG is not your ISP (Incredibly
    > Stupid Place). No matter how screwed-up
    > your ISP can be, this NG is always worse.
    > This group is one of the thousands of
    > poorly conceived newsgroups found on
    > USENET (Unnecessary System Enabling
    > Numbskulls Easy Transmissions). Since
    > this is not the helpdesk of your ISP, no one
    > knows your account number, password,
    > bellybutton diameter, or if you are wearing
    > dirty underpants on your head (which is common
    > when posting to this NG). We (tinw) don't even
    > know what day it is or why dogs don't mind
    > licking their own asses. For this kind of information,
    > do a web search or seduce a dog for the answers.
    >
    > While posting, don't eat HTML
    > (Hot Tangy Meatballs and Linguini)
    > or you're likely to mess-up your monitor
    > and get red sauce stains all over the keyboard.
    > Use plain text to post, if you can find any.
    > (There's a plain text shortage in the world today,
    > so good luck, you pitiful goomers.)
    >
    > DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPS. This makes
    > you look like an illiterate hillbilly who SCREAMS a
    > lot due to ear and brain damage from drinking
    > too much toxic, home-made corn whiskey.
    > Most people and some other species who
    > post here have trouble forming complete
    > sentences, spelling correctly, punctuating (especially
    > with regard to semicolons), knowing when to capitalize
    > letters and words, expressing coherent thoughts or
    > understandale questions, and setting their time zones
    > correctly. Therefore, if you are literate and respect logic,
    > please try to dumb down your syntax and stifle your thought
    > processes to ensure the low standards we have come to
    > expect, enjoy, and reward -- such as bottom-posting "LOL" in
    > response to a 300-line post of gerbil-level meanderings, or
    > asking how to make your own newsgroup.


    <schnippen>

    --
    @}-}--}------Rosee http://www.cangogh.net/pix.html
    www.givemeals.com www.freedonation.com www.hungersite.com
    "This (TINT) is whatever I want it to be you bigfooted
    belligerent bowlegged babblative babuina."~Zigi~
    @}-}-------Rosee, Sep 10, 2004
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. grangle

    ICee Guest

    grangle wrote:
    > This newsgroup has little or no purpose,
    > is not worth reading, and no one here has
    > a clue about anything. But, if you insist on
    > still reading it, here are some warnings
    > as to what you can expect. See below
    > for links to random web sites that
    > should prove useless to everyone who
    > isn't already a deranged fuckwit.
    >
    > First, this NG is not your ISP (Incredibly
    > Stupid Place). No matter how screwed-up
    > your ISP can be, this NG is always worse.
    > This group is one of the thousands of
    > poorly conceived newsgroups found on
    > USENET (Unnecessary System Enabling
    > Numbskulls Easy Transmissions). Since
    > this is not the helpdesk of your ISP, no one
    > knows your account number, password,
    > bellybutton diameter, or if you are wearing
    > dirty underpants on your head (which is common
    > when posting to this NG). We (tinw) don't even
    > know what day it is or why dogs don't mind
    > licking their own asses. For this kind of information,
    > do a web search or seduce a dog for the answers.
    >
    > While posting, don't eat HTML
    > (Hot Tangy Meatballs and Linguini)
    > or you're likely to mess-up your monitor
    > and get red sauce stains all over the keyboard.
    > Use plain text to post, if you can find any.
    > (There's a plain text shortage in the world today,
    > so good luck, you pitiful goomers.)
    >
    > DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPS. This makes
    > you look like an illiterate hillbilly who SCREAMS a
    > lot due to ear and brain damage from drinking
    > too much toxic, home-made corn whiskey.
    > Most people and some other species who
    > post here have trouble forming complete
    > sentences, spelling correctly, punctuating (especially
    > with regard to semicolons), knowing when to capitalize
    > letters and words, expressing coherent thoughts or
    > understandale questions, and setting their time zones
    > correctly. Therefore, if you are literate and respect logic,
    > please try to dumb down your syntax and stifle your thought
    > processes to ensure the low standards we have come to
    > expect, enjoy, and reward -- such as bottom-posting "LOL" in
    > response to a 300-line post of gerbil-level meanderings, or
    > asking how to make your own newsgroup.


    LOL
    --
    www.howtofixcomputers.com_sucks
    www.howtofixcomputers.com_is_bogus
    ICee, Sep 10, 2004
    #3
  4. grangle

    127.0.0.1 Guest

    "@}-}-------Rosee" <!!GigAntiCBoSomS!!@Nip..com> wrote in message
    news:Xns955FDF8A2469Eroseeneener@216.196.97.140...
    > Um....I be the illiterate hillbilly!
    >
    > "grangle" <> chiseled in stone, the following words
    > news::
    >
    > > This newsgroup has little or no purpose,
    > > is not worth reading, and no one here has
    > > a clue about anything.


    never under-estimate the power of free entertainment...

    -a|ex
    127.0.0.1, Sep 10, 2004
    #4
  5. grangle

    °Mike° Guest

    °Mike°, Sep 10, 2004
    #5
  6. grangle

    sqool Guest

    It is alleged that sometime during Thu, 09 Sep 2004 21:58:31 -0500,
    @}-}-------Rosee wrote this:

    Hello, Rosee! I've not been around for awhile, how are you? :)

    > Um....can I be the illiterate hillbilly?


    Er..no, you don't live on the hill & your name ain't Billy!

    --
    Author of:-
    Self-help video: Get Confident-Stupid!
    Instructional driving videos-
    Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass.
    The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot.
    sqool, Sep 10, 2004
    #6
  7. Heeey! Long time, no see!

    .....but I do live on a mo-hill or foothill, if you can't understand
    the delicate lanquage of "hillbilly".

    sqool <> chiseled in stone, the following words
    news:p:

    > It is alleged that sometime during Thu, 09 Sep 2004 21:58:31 -0500,
    > @}-}-------Rosee wrote this:
    >> Um....can I be the illiterate hillbilly?


    > Hello, Rosee! I've not been around for awhile, how are you? :)
    >
    > Er..no, you don't live on the hill & your name ain't Billy!


    --
    @}-}--}------Rosee http://www.cangogh.net/pix.html
    www.givemeals.com www.freedonation.com www.hungersite.com
    "This (TINT) is whatever I want it to be you bigfooted
    belligerent bowlegged babblative babuina."~Zigi~
    @}-}-------Rosee, Sep 11, 2004
    #7
  8. grangle

    sqool Guest

    It is alleged that sometime during Sat, 11 Sep 2004 00:49:21 -0500,
    @}-}-------Rosee wrote this:

    > Heeey! Long time, no see!


    Been helping a friend to sort things out ;-)

    > ....but I do live on a mo-hill or foothill, if you can't understand the
    > delicate lanquage of "hillbilly".


    Hm..it seems I don't understand "the delicate lanquage of 'hillbilly'."

    <snip>
    --
    SuSE 9.1 Pro
    KDE 3.3.0
    linux 2.6.5-7.108 i686 athlon i386 GNU/Linux
    Reclaim your computer!- http://linuxnotjustforgeeks.org/
    sqool, Sep 11, 2004
    #8
  9. grangle

    Mara Guest

    On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 00:49:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:

    >Heeey! Long time, no see!
    >
    >....but I do live on a mo-hill or foothill, if you can't understand
    >the delicate lanquage of "hillbilly".


    I'll larn 'im. <beg>

    >sqool <> chiseled in stone, the following words
    >news:p:
    >
    >> It is alleged that sometime during Thu, 09 Sep 2004 21:58:31 -0500,
    >> @}-}-------Rosee wrote this:
    >>> Um....can I be the illiterate hillbilly?

    >
    >> Hello, Rosee! I've not been around for awhile, how are you? :)
    >>
    >> Er..no, you don't live on the hill & your name ain't Billy!


    --
    http://groups.google.com/groups?th=a7a10e1cb425ee6e
    http://howtofixcomputers.com/bb/forum19.html
    howtofixcomputers.com is bogus. :)
    Mara, Sep 11, 2004
    #9
  10. You will have a "delicate" job ahead of you.....;oD

    Mara <> chiseled in stone, the following
    words news::

    > On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 00:49:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >>Heeey! Long time, no see!
    >>
    >>....but I do live on a mo-hill or foothill, if you can't understand
    >>the delicate lanquage of "hillbilly".


    > I'll larn 'im. <beg>


    <schnippen>

    --
    @}-}--}------Rosee http://www.cangogh.net/pix.html
    www.givemeals.com www.freedonation.com www.hungersite.com
    "This (TINT) is whatever I want it to be you bigfooted
    belligerent bowlegged babblative babuina."~Zigi~
    @}-}-------Rosee, Sep 11, 2004
    #10
  11. grangle

    Mara Guest

    On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 17:30:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:

    >You will have a "delicate" job ahead of you.....;oD


    So, I should use the little mallet instead of the big one? <g>

    "For every job, there is the proper tool."

    >Mara <> chiseled in stone, the following
    >words news::
    >
    >> On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 00:49:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >>>Heeey! Long time, no see!
    >>>
    >>>....but I do live on a mo-hill or foothill, if you can't understand
    >>>the delicate lanquage of "hillbilly".

    >
    >> I'll larn 'im. <beg>

    >
    ><schnippen>


    --
    http://groups.google.com/groups?th=a7a10e1cb425ee6e
    http://howtofixcomputers.com/bb/forum19.html
    howtofixcomputers.com is bogus. :)
    Mara, Sep 11, 2004
    #11
  12. grangle

    sqool Guest

    It is alleged that sometime during Sat, 11 Sep 2004 11:27:04 -0500, Mara
    wrote this:

    > On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 00:49:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >
    >>Heeey! Long time, no see!
    >>
    >>....but I do live on a mo-hill or foothill, if you can't understand the
    >>delicate lanquage of "hillbilly".

    >
    > I'll larn 'im. <beg>


    You're gonna larn me hillbilly, eh?

    <snip>

    --
    "Your place or mine?"
    sqool, Sep 11, 2004
    #12
  13. grangle

    Mara Guest

    On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 23:53:03 +0100, sqool wrote:

    >It is alleged that sometime during Sat, 11 Sep 2004 11:27:04 -0500, Mara
    >wrote this:
    >
    >> On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 00:49:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >>
    >>>Heeey! Long time, no see!
    >>>
    >>>....but I do live on a mo-hill or foothill, if you can't understand the
    >>>delicate lanquage of "hillbilly".

    >>
    >> I'll larn 'im. <beg>

    >
    >You're gonna larn me hillbilly, eh?
    >


    Shore. Git over here.

    "I seen yer sig, kiddo. ;)"

    ><snip>


    --
    http://groups.google.com/groups?th=a7a10e1cb425ee6e
    http://howtofixcomputers.com/bb/forum19.html
    howtofixcomputers.com is bogus. :)
    Mara, Sep 11, 2004
    #13
  14. You should start with the little mallet, and graduate to the larger
    one, if need be.....;oD

    Mara <> chiseled in stone, the following
    words news::

    > On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 17:30:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >>You will have a "delicate" job ahead of you.....;oD


    > So, I should use the little mallet instead of the big one? <g>
    >
    > "For every job, there is the proper tool."


    --
    @}-}--}------Rosee http://www.cangogh.net/pix.html
    www.givemeals.com www.freedonation.com www.hungersite.com
    "This (TINT) is whatever I want it to be you bigfooted
    belligerent bowlegged babblative babuina."~Zigi~
    @}-}-------Rosee, Sep 12, 2004
    #14
  15. grangle

    Mara Guest

    On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 18:06:42 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:

    >You should start with the little mallet, and graduate to the larger
    >one, if need be.....;oD


    I have the "Mara Special set" - the graduated series of 10. ;)

    >Mara <> chiseled in stone, the following
    >words news::
    >
    >> On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 17:30:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >>>You will have a "delicate" job ahead of you.....;oD

    >
    >> So, I should use the little mallet instead of the big one? <g>
    >>
    >> "For every job, there is the proper tool."


    --
    http://groups.google.com/groups?th=a7a10e1cb425ee6e
    http://howtofixcomputers.com/bb/forum19.html
    howtofixcomputers.com is bogus. :)
    Mara, Sep 12, 2004
    #15
  16. grangle

    sqool Guest

    It is alleged that sometime during Sat, 11 Sep 2004 17:56:39 -0500, Mara
    wrote this:

    > On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 23:53:03 +0100, sqool wrote:
    >
    >>It is alleged that sometime during Sat, 11 Sep 2004 11:27:04 -0500, Mara
    >>wrote this:
    >>
    >>> On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 00:49:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >>>
    >>>>Heeey! Long time, no see!
    >>>>
    >>>>....but I do live on a mo-hill or foothill, if you can't understand the
    >>>>delicate lanquage of "hillbilly".
    >>>
    >>> I'll larn 'im. <beg>

    >>
    >>You're gonna larn me hillbilly, eh?
    >>
    >>

    > Shore. Git over here.
    >
    > "I seen yer sig, kiddo. ;)"


    Awrite me ol' china, give us a mo' to put on a dicky dirt, slip on me
    whistle & flute, & leg it dahn the apples & pears. I'll get me jam jar &
    drive dahn the frog & toad, musn't go to fast as I don't want the sweeny
    todd thinking I'm a tea leaf & nickin me! Have a nice cup of rosie waitin
    for me willya!

    --
    SuSE 9.1 Pro
    KDE 3.3.0
    linux 2.6.5-7.108 i686 athlon i386 GNU/Linux
    Reclaim your computer!- http://linuxnotjustforgeeks.org/
    sqool, Sep 12, 2004
    #16
  17. grangle

    Sano Guest

    AAAYYYEEEE!

    You know why redneck murders are so damn hard to solve, dontya?

    |
    V
    V
    V
    V

    On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 00:49:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:

    > Heeey! Long time, no see!
    >
    > ....but I do live on a mo-hill or foothill, if you can't understand
    > the delicate lanquage of "hillbilly".
    >
    > sqool <> chiseled in stone, the following words
    > news:p:
    >
    >> It is alleged that sometime during Thu, 09 Sep 2004 21:58:31 -0500,
    >> @}-}-------Rosee wrote this:
    >>> Um....can I be the illiterate hillbilly?

    >
    >> Hello, Rosee! I've not been around for awhile, how are you? :)
    >>
    >> Er..no, you don't live on the hill & your name ain't Billy!


    Well:

    1.) theyr DNA is all the same.

    2.) theyrs' no dental records. ;-Þ
    Sano, Sep 12, 2004
    #17
  18. grangle

    sqool Guest

    It is alleged that sometime during Sat, 11 Sep 2004 17:52:09 -0500, Mara
    wrote this:

    > On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 17:30:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >
    >>You will have a "delicate" job ahead of you.....;oD

    >
    > So, I should use the little mallet instead of the big one? <g>
    >
    > "For every job, there is the proper tool."


    A mallet? Oh now wait a minute, I mean if you want to practice
    your golf swing, there's a driving range just down the street....

    --
    SuSE 9.1 Pro
    KDE 3.3.0
    linux 2.6.5-7.108 i686 athlon i386 GNU/Linux
    Reclaim your computer!- http://linuxnotjustforgeeks.org/
    sqool, Sep 12, 2004
    #18
  19. grangle

    sqool Guest

    It is alleged that sometime during Sat, 11 Sep 2004 18:06:42 -0500,
    @}-}-------Rosee wrote this:

    > You should start with the little mallet, and graduate to the larger one,
    > if need be.....;oD


    It's a conspiracy I tells ya!!

    > Mara <> chiseled in stone, the following
    > words news::
    >
    >> On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 17:30:21 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >>>You will have a "delicate" job ahead of you.....;oD

    >
    >> So, I should use the little mallet instead of the big one? <g>
    >>
    >> "For every job, there is the proper tool."


    --
    SuSE 9.1 Pro
    KDE 3.3.0
    linux 2.6.5-7.108 i686 athlon i386 GNU/Linux
    Reclaim your computer!- http://linuxnotjustforgeeks.org/
    sqool, Sep 12, 2004
    #19
  20. grangle

    sqool Guest

    It is alleged that sometime during Sat, 11 Sep 2004 18:13:53 -0500, Mara
    wrote this:

    > On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 18:06:42 -0500, @}-}-------Rosee wrote:
    >
    >>You should start with the little mallet, and graduate to the larger one,
    >>if need be.....;oD

    >
    > I have the "Mara Special set" - the graduated series of 10. ;)


    Oh yeah, & I bet they're numbered & come with cute head covers &....WTF am
    I saying?

    --
    SuSE 9.1 Pro
    KDE 3.3.0
    linux 2.6.5-7.108 i686 athlon i386 GNU/Linux
    Reclaim your computer!- http://linuxnotjustforgeeks.org/
    sqool, Sep 12, 2004
    #20
    1. Advertising

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