moggie has to GO. (reposted due to lack of feedback and maybe cos noone follows rogers posts))

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Brian, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. Brian

    Brian Guest

    I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
     
    Brian, Sep 29, 2005
    #1
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  2. Brian

    The One Guest

    Brian bashed at the keyboard and came up with:

    > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > before me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    > furniture to pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have
    > been having some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy
    > but don't want to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how
    > to get rid of it without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't
    > think my missus would pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will
    > be bying new furniture etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my
    > stuff again. oh, pulling his claws is not an option... he has to GO.


    Put its food dish by the back wheel of the car, reverse. Bingo. Move the
    dish, OH MY GOD THERES BEEN A ACCIDENT.......... and various other cries of
    greif. And dont forget to offer your shoulder to cry on.

    Just dont laugh like something from the Shining when burying the squished
    feline.
     
    The One, Sep 29, 2005
    #2
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  3. Brian

    Danny Guest

    "Brian" <> wrote in message news:...
    >I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > before
    > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture
    > to
    > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    > furniture
    > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    > pulling
    > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >
    >


    Live anywhere near a Chinese takeaway?
     
    Danny, Sep 29, 2005
    #3
  4. Brian

    John Holmes Guest

    Re: moggie (warning, long poast)

    Brian blabbered in 24hoursupport.helpdesk:

    > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > before me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    > furniture to pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I
    > have been having some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this
    > moggy but don't want to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any
    > ideas how to get rid of it without anyone noticing. btw. if it
    > matters, i don't think my missus would pay for an autopsy. as i said
    > we are moving and will be bying new furniture etc.and i am damned if
    > this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling his claws is not
    > an option... he has to GO.
    >
    >


    I've read a story about a guy who wanted to get rid of his wife's cat for
    the same reasons you mentioned.

    So, one day he decides to take the cat for a ride. He drives around in
    the woods for several hours and at some time he thinks that should be
    enough, kicks the cat out of the car and drives back home.
    When he gets home, the cat is already back, doing the annoying things...

    One week later, at a day that the wife is at work, the guy thinks it's
    time to give it another shot. He takes the cat for a ride in the car, now
    drives around for even longer and deeper into the woods, kicks the cat
    out and drives home. When he gets home, the cat is back home again, doing
    it's usual annoying stuff...

    The next week the guy is totally fucked up with that animal and for the
    third time he's taking it for a ride. He drives into the woods, and hours
    and hours and lots if miles later he kicks out the cat...

    That night, the wife gets a phonecall. It's her hubby calling from his
    cellphone: "Is the cat there?" The wive answers: "Off course the cat is
    here, why do you ask?" The guy: "Tell him to fetch me, I got lost..."




    So far for the story, but I have a great tip for you, too. Cats love the
    smell of valerian but hate the smell of lemon. Here's what I did years
    ago, when my GF moved into my place and took her cat with her (I can't
    tell you how I hated that) I took 2 plant sprayers and filled one with a
    mixture of water and valerian and one with a mixture of water and lemon
    juice. I then sprayed the surfaces of furniture the cat was not allowed
    to touch with the lemon mixture. And I sprayed the places where the cat
    was allowed to come generously with the valerian mixture. Problem solved.
    The house smells nice and the cat isn't coming /near/ the lemon sprayed
    furniture anymore. Maybe this will save your relationship with the cat
    and your missus.

    HAND

    --
    Your mother was a humorless weasel who ate rats in a home for the
    permanently baffled.
     
    John Holmes, Sep 29, 2005
    #4
  5. Brian

    Brian Guest

    Re: moggie (warning, long poast)

    "John Holmes" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:...
    > Brian blabbered in 24hoursupport.helpdesk:
    >
    > > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > > before me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    > > furniture to pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I
    > > have been having some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this
    > > moggy but don't want to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any
    > > ideas how to get rid of it without anyone noticing. btw. if it
    > > matters, i don't think my missus would pay for an autopsy. as i said
    > > we are moving and will be bying new furniture etc.and i am damned if
    > > this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling his claws is not
    > > an option... he has to GO.
    > >
    > >

    >
    > I've read a story about a guy who wanted to get rid of his wife's cat for
    > the same reasons you mentioned.
    >
    > So, one day he decides to take the cat for a ride. He drives around in
    > the woods for several hours and at some time he thinks that should be
    > enough, kicks the cat out of the car and drives back home.
    > When he gets home, the cat is already back, doing the annoying things...
    >
    > One week later, at a day that the wife is at work, the guy thinks it's
    > time to give it another shot. He takes the cat for a ride in the car, now
    > drives around for even longer and deeper into the woods, kicks the cat
    > out and drives home. When he gets home, the cat is back home again, doing
    > it's usual annoying stuff...
    >
    > The next week the guy is totally fucked up with that animal and for the
    > third time he's taking it for a ride. He drives into the woods, and hours
    > and hours and lots if miles later he kicks out the cat...
    >
    > That night, the wife gets a phonecall. It's her hubby calling from his
    > cellphone: "Is the cat there?" The wive answers: "Off course the cat is
    > here, why do you ask?" The guy: "Tell him to fetch me, I got lost..."
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > So far for the story, but I have a great tip for you, too. Cats love the
    > smell of valerian but hate the smell of lemon. Here's what I did years
    > ago, when my GF moved into my place and took her cat with her (I can't
    > tell you how I hated that) I took 2 plant sprayers and filled one with a
    > mixture of water and valerian and one with a mixture of water and lemon
    > juice. I then sprayed the surfaces of furniture the cat was not allowed
    > to touch with the lemon mixture. And I sprayed the places where the cat
    > was allowed to come generously with the valerian mixture. Problem solved.
    > The house smells nice and the cat isn't coming /near/ the lemon sprayed
    > furniture anymore. Maybe this will save your relationship with the cat
    > and your missus.
    >
    > HAND


    pmsl. well thats one idea just been pissed on... shite!

    >
    > --
    > Your mother was a humorless weasel who ate rats in a home for the
    > permanently baffled.
    >
     
    Brian, Sep 29, 2005
    #5
  6. Brian

    SgtMinor Guest

    Re: moggie has to GO. (reposted due to lack of feedback and maybecos noone follows rogers posts))

    Brian wrote:
    > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >
    >


    Do your "missus" a favor and leave. I *know* the cat won't miss you and
    I doubt that the missus will either.

    Or get professional help.
     
    SgtMinor, Sep 29, 2005
    #6
  7. Brian

    Brian Guest

    "The One" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:433c086c$0$73604$...
    > Brian bashed at the keyboard and came up with:
    >
    > > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > > before me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    > > furniture to pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I

    have
    > > been having some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy
    > > but don't want to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how
    > > to get rid of it without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't
    > > think my missus would pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and

    will
    > > be bying new furniture etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin

    my
    > > stuff again. oh, pulling his claws is not an option... he has to GO.

    >
    > Put its food dish by the back wheel of the car, reverse. Bingo. Move the
    > dish, OH MY GOD THERES BEEN A ACCIDENT.......... and various other cries

    of
    > greif. And dont forget to offer your shoulder to cry on.
    >
    > Just dont laugh like something from the Shining when burying the squished
    > feline.


    problem with that solution is: I live in a fucking flat and my missus would
    ask herself what the **** the cat was doing on the main road.
     
    Brian, Sep 29, 2005
    #7
  8. Brian

    Brian Guest

    "Danny" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:433c0edd$0$19466$...
    >
    > "Brian" <> wrote in message news:...
    > >I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > > before
    > > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture
    > > to
    > > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't

    want
    > > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of

    it
    > > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus

    would
    > > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    > > furniture
    > > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    > > pulling
    > > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    > >
    > >

    >
    > Live anywhere near a Chinese takeaway?
    >
    >


    nice thought but the cat needs to die a sudden death and still be in the
    flat for my missus to find it. making the cat vanish would just backfire
    everything and my missus would no longer want to move just incase the cat
    does find its way home some day.
     
    Brian, Sep 29, 2005
    #8
  9. Brian

    Brian Guest

    Re: moggie (warning, long poast)

    "John Holmes" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:...
    > Brian blabbered in 24hoursupport.helpdesk:
    >
    > > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > > before me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    > > furniture to pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I
    > > have been having some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this
    > > moggy but don't want to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any
    > > ideas how to get rid of it without anyone noticing. btw. if it
    > > matters, i don't think my missus would pay for an autopsy. as i said
    > > we are moving and will be bying new furniture etc.and i am damned if
    > > this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling his claws is not
    > > an option... he has to GO.
    > >
    > >

    >
    > I've read a story about a guy who wanted to get rid of his wife's cat for
    > the same reasons you mentioned.
    >
    > So, one day he decides to take the cat for a ride. He drives around in
    > the woods for several hours and at some time he thinks that should be
    > enough, kicks the cat out of the car and drives back home.
    > When he gets home, the cat is already back, doing the annoying things...
    >
    > One week later, at a day that the wife is at work, the guy thinks it's
    > time to give it another shot. He takes the cat for a ride in the car, now
    > drives around for even longer and deeper into the woods, kicks the cat
    > out and drives home. When he gets home, the cat is back home again, doing
    > it's usual annoying stuff...
    >
    > The next week the guy is totally fucked up with that animal and for the
    > third time he's taking it for a ride. He drives into the woods, and hours
    > and hours and lots if miles later he kicks out the cat...
    >
    > That night, the wife gets a phonecall. It's her hubby calling from his
    > cellphone: "Is the cat there?" The wive answers: "Off course the cat is
    > here, why do you ask?" The guy: "Tell him to fetch me, I got lost..."
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > So far for the story, but I have a great tip for you, too. Cats love the
    > smell of valerian but hate the smell of lemon. Here's what I did years
    > ago, when my GF moved into my place and took her cat with her (I can't
    > tell you how I hated that) I took 2 plant sprayers and filled one with a
    > mixture of water and valerian and one with a mixture of water and lemon
    > juice. I then sprayed the surfaces of furniture the cat was not allowed
    > to touch with the lemon mixture. And I sprayed the places where the cat
    > was allowed to come generously with the valerian mixture. Problem solved.
    > The house smells nice and the cat isn't coming /near/ the lemon sprayed
    > furniture anymore. Maybe this will save your relationship with the cat
    > and your missus.
    >


    tried the lemon trick years ago. all the frigging cat does is scratch the
    surface it was sprayed on..


    > HAND
    >
    > --
    > Your mother was a humorless weasel who ate rats in a home for the
    > permanently baffled.
    >
     
    Brian, Sep 29, 2005
    #9
  10. Brian

    Brian Guest

    "SgtMinor" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:...
    > Brian wrote:
    > > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there

    before
    > > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture

    to
    > > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't

    want
    > > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of

    it
    > > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus

    would
    > > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new

    furniture
    > > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,

    pulling
    > > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    > >
    > >

    >
    > Do your "missus" a favor and leave. I *know* the cat won't miss you and
    > I doubt that the missus will either.
    >


    shit... another fucking moggie lover.

    > Or get professional help.
     
    Brian, Sep 29, 2005
    #10
  11. Brian

    Brian Guest

    "SgtMinor" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:...
    > Brian wrote:
    > > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there

    before
    > > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture

    to
    > > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't

    want
    > > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of

    it
    > > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus

    would
    > > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new

    furniture
    > > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,

    pulling
    > > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    > >
    > >

    >
    >
    > Or get professional help.


    you gone mad or what? you think i'm gonna hire a professional killer to do
    it?
    **** your'e sicker than i am mate.
     
    Brian, Sep 29, 2005
    #11
  12. Brian

    old jon Guest

    "Brian" <> wrote in message news:433c2c22$...
    >
    > "The One" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    > news:433c086c$0$73604$...
    >> Brian bashed at the keyboard and came up with:
    >>
    >> > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    >> > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    >> > before me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    >> > furniture to pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I

    > have
    >> > been having some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy
    >> > but don't want to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas
    >> > how
    >> > to get rid of it without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't
    >> > think my missus would pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and

    > will
    >> > be bying new furniture etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin

    > my
    >> > stuff again. oh, pulling his claws is not an option... he has to GO.

    >>
    >> Put its food dish by the back wheel of the car, reverse. Bingo. Move the
    >> dish, OH MY GOD THERES BEEN A ACCIDENT.......... and various other cries

    > of
    >> greif. And dont forget to offer your shoulder to cry on.
    >>
    >> Just dont laugh like something from the Shining when burying the squished
    >> feline.

    >
    > problem with that solution is: I live in a fucking flat and my missus
    > would
    > ask herself what the **** the cat was doing on the main road.
    >

    Tell her you took the cat down to show it which was your car <g>.
     
    old jon, Sep 29, 2005
    #12
  13. Brian

    John Holmes Guest

    Re: moggie (warning, long poast)

    Brian blabbered in 24hoursupport.helpdesk:

    >
    > "John Holmes" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    > news:...
    >> Brian blabbered in 24hoursupport.helpdesk:
    >>
    >> > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    >> > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was
    >> > there before me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know
    >> > scratching all furniture to pieces and generally his presence just
    >> > pisses me off. I have been having some very sadistic thoughts on
    >> > how to get rid of this moggy but don't want to risk getting thrown
    >> > out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it without anyone
    >> > noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would pay for
    >> > an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    >> > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    >> > pulling his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >> >
    >> >

    >>
    >> I've read a story about a guy who wanted to get rid of his wife's cat
    >> for the same reasons you mentioned.
    >>
    >> So, one day he decides to take the cat for a ride. He drives around
    >> in the woods for several hours and at some time he thinks that should
    >> be enough, kicks the cat out of the car and drives back home.
    >> When he gets home, the cat is already back, doing the annoying
    >> things...
    >>
    >> One week later, at a day that the wife is at work, the guy thinks
    >> it's time to give it another shot. He takes the cat for a ride in the
    >> car, now drives around for even longer and deeper into the woods,
    >> kicks the cat out and drives home. When he gets home, the cat is back
    >> home again, doing it's usual annoying stuff...
    >>
    >> The next week the guy is totally fucked up with that animal and for
    >> the third time he's taking it for a ride. He drives into the woods,
    >> and hours and hours and lots if miles later he kicks out the cat...
    >>
    >> That night, the wife gets a phonecall. It's her hubby calling from
    >> his cellphone: "Is the cat there?" The wive answers: "Off course the
    >> cat is here, why do you ask?" The guy: "Tell him to fetch me, I got
    >> lost..."
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> So far for the story, but I have a great tip for you, too. Cats love
    >> the smell of valerian but hate the smell of lemon. Here's what I did
    >> years ago, when my GF moved into my place and took her cat with her
    >> (I can't tell you how I hated that) I took 2 plant sprayers and
    >> filled one with a mixture of water and valerian and one with a
    >> mixture of water and lemon juice. I then sprayed the surfaces of
    >> furniture the cat was not allowed to touch with the lemon mixture.
    >> And I sprayed the places where the cat was allowed to come generously
    >> with the valerian mixture. Problem solved. The house smells nice and
    >> the cat isn't coming /near/ the lemon sprayed furniture anymore.
    >> Maybe this will save your relationship with the cat and your missus.
    >>

    >
    > tried the lemon trick years ago. all the frigging cat does is scratch
    > the surface it was sprayed on..
    >
    >
    >> HAND
    >>
    >> --
    >> Your mother was a humorless weasel who ate rats in a home for the
    >> permanently baffled.
    >>

    >
    >


    Well, one thing, I'll refuse in helping you killing a domestic animal.
    Second thing, what if your spouse finds out /you/ killed her favorite
    flurry? Your relationship would end. Period.

    --
    Your mother was a daft actress who campaigned for the harlots' union down
    a drain.
     
    John Holmes, Sep 29, 2005
    #13
  14. Brian

    John Holmes Guest

    Brian blabbered in 24hoursupport.helpdesk:

    > shit... another fucking moggie lover.
    >


    I can see now you have adapted the appropiate language skills in this
    froup.

    --
    Your mother was an annoyed prostitute who programmed silly utilities on an
    uninhabited island.
     
    John Holmes, Sep 29, 2005
    #14
  15. Brian

    Trax Guest

    "Brian" <> wrote:

    |>I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    |>been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    |>me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    |>pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    |>some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    |>to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    |>without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    |>pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    |>etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    |>his claws is not an option... he has to GO.

    Isn't it that time of the year to change the coolant in your auto?





    --
    No Defense Against Windows Rootkits?
    http://it.slashdot.org/it/05/09/28/1438213.shtml?tid=172
     
    Trax, Sep 29, 2005
    #15
  16. Brian

    MZB Guest

    Or, if that doesn't work, I trust your dryer works well???

    Or, how about the wonderful sound of your toilet flushing??

    Mel
    "Trax" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > "Brian" <> wrote:
    >
    > |>I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > |>been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    > before
    > |>me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture
    > to
    > |>pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > |>some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't
    > want
    > |>to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of
    > it
    > |>without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus
    > would
    > |>pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    > furniture
    > |>etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    > pulling
    > |>his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >
    > Isn't it that time of the year to change the coolant in your auto?
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --
    > No Defense Against Windows Rootkits?
    > http://it.slashdot.org/it/05/09/28/1438213.shtml?tid=172
     
    MZB, Sep 29, 2005
    #16
  17. Re: moggie has to GO. (reposted due to lack of feedback and maybecos noone follows rogers posts))

    Brian wrote:
    > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there before
    > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all furniture to
    > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been having
    > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't want
    > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of it
    > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus would
    > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new furniture
    > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh, pulling
    > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.


    I don't think anyone but an asshole really wants to help you with
    cruelty to animals and your missus. De-clawing *is* an option whether
    you think it is or not.
     
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Sep 29, 2005
    #17
  18. Brian

    Danny Guest

    "Brian" <> wrote in message news:433c2c22$...
    >
    > "The One" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    > news:433c086c$0$73604$...
    >> Brian bashed at the keyboard and came up with:
    >>
    >> > I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    >> > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    >> > before me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    >> > furniture to pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I

    > have
    >> > been having some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy
    >> > but don't want to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas
    >> > how
    >> > to get rid of it without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't
    >> > think my missus would pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and

    > will
    >> > be bying new furniture etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin

    > my
    >> > stuff again. oh, pulling his claws is not an option... he has to GO.

    >>
    >> Put its food dish by the back wheel of the car, reverse. Bingo. Move the
    >> dish, OH MY GOD THERES BEEN A ACCIDENT.......... and various other cries

    > of
    >> greif. And dont forget to offer your shoulder to cry on.
    >>
    >> Just dont laugh like something from the Shining when burying the squished
    >> feline.

    >
    > problem with that solution is: I live in a fucking flat and my missus
    > would
    > ask herself what the **** the cat was doing on the main road.


    Hmm. So you live in a flat, then? Up in the air type? Has the cat learned
    how to fly, yet?
    >
    >
     
    Danny, Sep 29, 2005
    #18
  19. Brian

    Danny Guest

    "Brian" <> wrote in message news:433c2d0a$...
    >
    > "Danny" <> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    > news:433c0edd$0$19466$...
    >>
    >> "Brian" <> wrote in message news:...
    >> >I am moving in jan. and my missus cat has
    >> > been driving me up the wall ever since we got together (he was there
    >> > before
    >> > me so i thought i'd better play nice). you know scratching all
    >> > furniture
    >> > to
    >> > pieces and generally his presence just pisses me off. I have been
    >> > having
    >> > some very sadistic thoughts on how to get rid of this moggy but don't

    > want
    >> > to risk getting thrown out. so here's my Q. any ideas how to get rid of

    > it
    >> > without anyone noticing. btw. if it matters, i don't think my missus

    > would
    >> > pay for an autopsy. as i said we are moving and will be bying new
    >> > furniture
    >> > etc.and i am damned if this moggy is gonna ruin my stuff again. oh,
    >> > pulling
    >> > his claws is not an option... he has to GO.
    >> >
    >> >

    >>
    >> Live anywhere near a Chinese takeaway?
    >>
    >>

    >
    > nice thought but the cat needs to die a sudden death and still be in the
    > flat for my missus to find it. making the cat vanish would just backfire
    > everything and my missus would no longer want to move just incase the cat
    > does find its way home some day.
    >


    Look!! Mate!! Get rid of them both!!!
    >
     
    Danny, Sep 29, 2005
    #19
  20. Brian

    The One Guest

    John Holmes bashed at the keyboard and came up with:

    > I can see now you have adapted the appropiate language skills in this
    > froup.


    Meow, saucer of milk to that table please!
     
    The One, Sep 29, 2005
    #20
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