Lovemaking tip for Seniors / Old Is When...

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Meat Plow, Oct 31, 2010.

  1. Meat Plow

    Meat Plow Guest

    Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

    1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

    2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

    3. Set the mood with lighting.. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

    4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

    5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..

    6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

    7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

    8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

    9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

    10. Don't even think about it trying twice

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
    'Pick one; I can't do both!'

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're
    barefoot.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    You don't care where your spouse goes,just as long as you don't have to
    go along.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

    'OLD' IS WHEN..
    Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

    'OLD IS WHEN....
    An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.



    --
    Live Fast, Die Young and Leave a Pretty Corpse
     
    Meat Plow, Oct 31, 2010
    #1
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  2. Meat Plow

    OldGringo38 Guest

    On 10/31/2010 5:59 PM Just to please that super-ego, Meat Plow wrote the
    following tidbit of information:
    >
    > Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
    >
    > 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
    >
    > 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
    >
    > 3. Set the mood with lighting.. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
    >
    > 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
    >
    > 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..
    >
    > 6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
    >
    > 7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..
    >
    > 8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.
    >
    > 9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
    >
    > 10. Don't even think about it trying twice
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    > Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
    > 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN...
    > Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're
    > barefoot.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN...
    > Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    > You don't care where your spouse goes,just as long as you don't have to
    > go along.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN...
    > You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN..
    > Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    > Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..
    >
    > 'OLD IS WHEN....
    > An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    > You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
    >
    >
    >

    Another good one. Don't get #11 (unnumbered) :)

    --
    OldGringo38
    Just West Of Nowhere
    Enjoy Life And Live It To Its Fullest
    Support Bacteria: They Are The Only Culture Some People Have
     
    OldGringo38, Oct 31, 2010
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Meat Plow

    richard Guest

    On Sun, 31 Oct 2010 22:59:34 +0000 (UTC), Meat Plow wrote:

    > Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
    >
    > 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
    >
    > 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
    >
    > 3. Set the mood with lighting.. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
    >
    > 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
    >
    > 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..
    >
    > 6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
    >
    > 7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..
    >
    > 8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.
    >
    > 9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
    >
    > 10. Don't even think about it trying twice
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    > Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
    > 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN...
    > Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're
    > barefoot.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN...
    > Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    > You don't care where your spouse goes,just as long as you don't have to
    > go along.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN...
    > You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN..
    > Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    > Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..
    >
    > 'OLD IS WHEN....
    > An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
    >
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    > You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.


    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    I forget.
     
    richard, Nov 1, 2010
    #3
  4. Meat Plow

    Meat Plow Guest

    On Sun, 31 Oct 2010 18:43:51 -0500, OldGringo38 wrote:

    > On 10/31/2010 5:59 PM Just to please that super-ego, Meat Plow wrote the
    > following tidbit of information:
    >>
    >> Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
    >>
    >> 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
    >>
    >> 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
    >>
    >> 3. Set the mood with lighting.. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
    >>
    >> 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
    >>
    >> 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..
    >>
    >> 6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
    >>
    >> 7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..
    >>
    >> 8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.
    >>
    >> 9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
    >>
    >> 10. Don't even think about it trying twice
    >>
    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    >> Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
    >> 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
    >>
    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
    >> Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're
    >> barefoot.
    >>
    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
    >> Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
    >>
    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    >> You don't care where your spouse goes,just as long as you don't have to
    >> go along.
    >>
    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
    >> You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
    >>
    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN..
    >> Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
    >>
    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    >> Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..
    >>
    >> 'OLD IS WHEN....
    >> An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
    >>
    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    >> You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
    >>
    >>
    >>

    > Another good one. Don't get #11 (unnumbered) :)


    11?



    --
    Live Fast, Die Young and Leave a Pretty Corpse
     
    Meat Plow, Nov 1, 2010
    #4
  5. Meat Plow

    OldGringo38 Guest

    On 11/1/2010 7:32 AM Just to please that super-ego, Meat Plow wrote the
    following tidbit of information:
    > 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    >>> Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
    >>> 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
    >>>

    Just read it again, I finally got it. Anything after 1:30pm don't sink
    in until the next day. LOL

    --
    OldGringo38
    Just West Of Nowhere
    Enjoy Life And Live It To Its Fullest
    Support Bacteria: They Are The Only Culture Some People Have
     
    OldGringo38, Nov 1, 2010
    #5
  6. Meat Plow

    Meat Plow Guest

    On Mon, 01 Nov 2010 08:05:09 -0500, OldGringo38 wrote:

    > On 11/1/2010 7:32 AM Just to please that super-ego, Meat Plow wrote the
    > following tidbit of information:
    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    >>>> Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you
    >>>> answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
    >>>>

    > Just read it again, I finally got it. Anything after 1:30pm don't sink
    > in until the next day. LOL


    <g>



    --
    Live Fast, Die Young and Leave a Pretty Corpse
     
    Meat Plow, Nov 1, 2010
    #6
  7. Meat Plow

    G. Morgan Guest

    OldGringo38 <> wrote:


    >> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    >> Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
    >> 'Pick one; I can't do both!'


    >Another good one. Don't get #11 (unnumbered) :)


    I recon it means he's got enough energy to either climb the stairs, OR his wife,
    but not both.
     
    G. Morgan, Nov 1, 2010
    #7
  8. Meat Plow

    OldGringo38 Guest

    On 11/1/2010 12:21 PM Just to please that super-ego, G. Morgan wrote the
    following tidbit of information:
    > OldGringo38<> wrote:
    >
    >
    >>> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
    >>> Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
    >>> 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

    >
    >> Another good one. Don't get #11 (unnumbered) :)

    >
    > I recon it means he's got enough energy to either climb the stairs, OR his wife,
    > but not both.

    Ya took a while to sink in. <g>

    --
    OldGringo38
    Just West Of Nowhere
    Enjoy Life And Live It To Its Fullest
    Support Bacteria: They Are The Only Culture Some People Have
     
    OldGringo38, Nov 1, 2010
    #8
    1. Advertising

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