Kerpalism at it's finest

Discussion in 'MCSE' started by Guest, Jun 18, 2005.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I didn't really appreciate having my computer rebooted the other day and
    having changes to my configuration made without my consent. Microsoft has
    overstepped it's bounds and even if the license agreement states that I have
    agreed to this, I'm not required to be reasonable about it, or do anything

    For those of you who don't know... A number of years ago, for no real
    reason, Microsoft was kind enough to invite me in the doors and provide me
    with a lot of information I probably shouldn't have. Access to their
    computer network, intranet, old software. They even paid for my plane
    ticket. I still don't know why. I never did anything for them. Even after
    this, I was given more information by employees who didn't really have a
    reason, either.

    While I was there I printed over 600 pages of their internal documents,
    drank sodas and milk, and talked to their employees about useless nonsense
    and basically wasted people's time and money. I smiled and waved at the
    security cameras. It was fun.

    When I left I had one of their employees carry my bag because I said my arm
    hurt... he even gave me a couple of extra sodas to take with me. I left the
    documents on the printer, though. What am I going to do with a bunch of

    Amongst this information, which I may be disclosing at some point in the
    near future (whenever it suits my purposes and makes Microsoft look foolish
    [because they are and people just haven't figured it out yet]), there were
    lists of phone numbers to various Microsoft departments, names and email

    Just so you know... I'm going to be calling these people whenever I feel
    like it, wasting their time, and using social engineering techniques to gain
    more information about the company, which I will make public at my
    discretion, or balloon into more time wasting and entertainment value. I'll
    throw them a little bit of nonsense to make them think the wrong thing about
    the projects they are working on, tell them that they need to report back to
    headquarters, yell and scream about how they totally screwed up this or that
    and then hang up. Maybe I'll tell them that their parents are dead or play
    Beethoven over the phone.

    Rest easy, folks, in this process, I won't violate the law or do anything
    that Microsoft can retaliate against. And I've got plenty of time on my
    hands and nothing better to do.

    There's an alternative to all of this, of course, Microsoft could spare
    themselves humiliation and lost revenue by granting one simple request on my
    part. More details when I feel like it.

    Microcephalic S. Bob
    My powers are beyond your understanding.
    Guest, Jun 18, 2005
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  2. Ben Smith

    Ben Smith Guest

    In article <>, "<!-- Catch-22 -->
    <? echo \"General Microcephalic S. Bob\"; ?> <!-- Antisocial Interfaces
    --> // 270-290-291-293-294-298-299" <{
    - head first into the future }> says...
    > Subject: Kerpalism at it's finest
    > From: "<!-- Catch-22 --> <? echo \"General Microcephalic S. Bob\"; ?> <!-- Antisocial Interfaces --> // 270-290-291-293-294-298-299" <{ - head first into the future }>
    > Newsgroups: microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, microsoft.public.msagent

    Are you a keyboard tester?
    Ben Smith, Jun 18, 2005
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  3. kpg

    kpg Guest

    You have obviously succumb to the Dark Side.
    kpg, Jun 20, 2005
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