How do you teach touch typing to a cat?

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 15, 2007.

  1. Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?
     
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 15, 2007
    #1
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  2. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    meerkat Guest

    "Rôgêr" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    > He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    > toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    > "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    > cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?
    >

    I speak cat.
    t = thank.
    y = you.

    If he didn`t say thank you, you`d accuse him of being
    bad-mannered.
    Hmph, there`s no pleasing some people <G>.
     
    meerkat, Aug 15, 2007
    #2
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  3. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mike Easter Guest

    Rôgêr wrote:

    > He keeps
    > wanting to type "t"s and "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense.


    His paw/leg is too short. He's trying to reach the 6 which is just
    above the t-y keys.

    666

    The devil is making him do it.

    --
    Mike Easter
     
    Mike Easter, Aug 15, 2007
    #3
  4. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Guest

    Rôgêr <> wrote:

    >Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    >He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    >toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    >"y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    >cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouija
    Who knows :)
    --
    Over 1,700 Arcade Manuals in PDF Format!
    http://ascii.textfiles.com/archives/000454.html
     
    , Aug 15, 2007
    #4
  5. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Ponder Guest

    Hiya Rôgêr.

    In <news:> you wrote:

    > Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    > He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    > toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    > "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    > cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?


    Maybe he's trying to do this: http://lolcats.com/view/35/ ;)

    --
    PGP key ID - DSS:0x2661A952
    Homepage: http://www.colinjones.co.uk ICQ# 1707811
    Skittles Team: http://www.ddskittles.co.uk
     
    Ponder, Aug 15, 2007
    #5
  6. wrote:
    > Rôgêr <> wrote:
    >
    >> Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    >> He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    >> toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    >> "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    >> cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?

    >
    > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouija
    > Who knows :)


    I guess. But that website says they're from around 1,200 BC. Piper is
    from around 1995 AD. But could be, I've still got a Oiuja board in my
    mom's attic I think. That's from the sixth grade.
     
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 15, 2007
    #6
  7. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mara Guest

    On Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:19:09 -0400, Rôgêr <> wrote:

    >Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    >He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    >toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    >"y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    >cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?


    You don't need to. He's been communicating back and forth with Freddie the
    WunderCat here, and they're planning to extend their ownership of Usenet to the
    entire world.

    --
    Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are not
    conformists. How could they be, with a cat running their lives?
    --Dr. Louis J. Camuti
     
    Mara, Aug 15, 2007
    #7
  8. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Fred Kasner Guest

    Rôgêr wrote:
    > Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    > He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    > toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    > "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    > cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?


    If he is to become a touch-typist his dew claws will have to be
    surgically moved down to the same location as his other four claws. As
    this will almost certainly leave the dew claw incapable of retraction he
    will never be able to touch type. So teach him the hunt and peck routine
    of typing.
    FK
     
    Fred Kasner, Aug 15, 2007
    #8
  9. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Alfred Guest

    On Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:19:09 -0400, Rôgêr <> wrote:

    >Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    >He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    >toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    >"y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    >cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?


    I don't know how to teach a cat to type but I've heard you can teach
    them to be blacksmiths. Stick a red hot poker up his rear and he'll
    make a bolt for the door.


    (The old ones are still groaningly funny)
     
    Alfred, Aug 16, 2007
    #9
  10. Alfred wrote:
    > On Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:19:09 -0400, Rôgêr <> wrote:
    >
    >> Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    >> He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    >> toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    >> "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    >> cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?

    >
    > I don't know how to teach a cat to type but I've heard you can teach
    > them to be blacksmiths. Stick a red hot poker up his rear and he'll
    > make a bolt for the door.


    I'll keep that in mind. I used to hear about stuffing a stick of butter
    up a wildcat's ass with a hot poker, but I've not tried it yet.
     
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 16, 2007
    #10
  11. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Rectum Burn Guest

    Rôgêr <> said in
    news::

    > Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    > He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    > toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    > "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    > cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?


    I would try bribes of catnip and delicious canned wet food to get him to
    tell you the real meaning behind his random typing........

    Rectum Burrrrrrn
     
    Rectum Burn, Aug 17, 2007
    #11
  12. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Plato Guest

    Rôgêr wrote:
    >
    > Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    > He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    > toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    > "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    > cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?


    Slap his ass off your keyboard. Problem solved.




    --
    http://www.bootdisk.com/
     
    Plato, Aug 17, 2007
    #12
  13. Plato wrote:
    > Rôgêr wrote:
    >> Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    >> He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    >> toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    >> "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    >> cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?

    >
    > Slap his ass off your keyboard. Problem solved.


    I don't slap my friends, but for you I might make an exception.
     
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 17, 2007
    #13
  14. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mara Guest

    On Fri, 17 Aug 2007 03:13:40 -0400, Rôgêr <> wrote:

    >Plato wrote:
    >> Rôgêr wrote:
    >>> Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    >>> He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    >>> toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    >>> "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    >>> cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?

    >>
    >> Slap his ass off your keyboard. Problem solved.

    >
    >I don't slap my friends, but for you I might make an exception.


    Just get off the damned phone once in awhile. My cat's been trying to call your
    cat for weeks now.

    --
    Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are not
    conformists. How could they be, with a cat running their lives?
    --Dr. Louis J. Camuti
     
    Mara, Aug 17, 2007
    #14
  15. On 2007-08-17, in 24hoursupport.helpdesk, Mara waxed eloquently:
    > On Fri, 17 Aug 2007 03:13:40 -0400, Rôgêr <> wrote:
    >
    >>Plato wrote:
    >>> Rôgêr wrote:
    >>>> Piper, my irascible male cat, is prone to start typing for me sometimes.
    >>>> He's trying to tell me something, but he's never really typed out "Walk
    >>>> toward the light" or "Birds are good". He keeps wanting to type "t"s and
    >>>> "y"s and I don't think it makes much sense. I've seen programs that lock
    >>>> cats out of the keyboard, but what can I do to help him communicate?
    >>>
    >>> Slap his ass off your keyboard. Problem solved.

    >>
    >>I don't slap my friends, but for you I might make an exception.

    >
    > Just get off the damned phone once in awhile. My cat's been trying to call your
    > cat for weeks now.
    >


    You better watch giving those cats phone privileges. My damn' tomcat ran up
    a $954.00 phone bill calling 1-900-HOT-CHIX. I guess he thought it was some
    kind of fried chicken hot line.

    --
    The Old Sourdough
    No Microsoft products were used in any way for the creation of this message.
    If you are using a Microsoft product to view it, BEWARE! - I'm not
    responsible for any harm you might encounter as a result.
     
    The Old Sourdough, Aug 19, 2007
    #15
  16. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mara Guest

    On Sat, 18 Aug 2007 20:26:19 -0500, The Old Sourdough <> wrote:

    >On 2007-08-17, in 24hoursupport.helpdesk, Mara waxed eloquently:


    <snip>
    >> Just get off the damned phone once in awhile. My cat's been trying to call your
    >> cat for weeks now.
    >>

    >
    >You better watch giving those cats phone privileges. My damn' tomcat ran up
    >a $954.00 phone bill calling 1-900-HOT-CHIX. I guess he thought it was some
    >kind of fried chicken hot line.


    I'm actually not kidding about the phoning part. Freddie, who is blind, (among
    other horrendous problems that are mostly fixed now) has learned that if he
    steps on the speaker button on the desk phone and then on the redial button,
    which are totally separate, he's got my attention *immediately,* since the only
    time he does this is when I'm at my main computer, which is right beside it. So,
    I taught him to turn the speaker back off on command. The command is, of course,
    "get off the phone, someone else might want to use it for a change."

    I still have to hang up for him once in awhile, the brat. I swear he's on the
    phone more than the town gossip.

    The little shit has also been known to erase the caller-ID and answering machine
    too. But hey, I don't care. If he could survive what he's been through in the
    past 6 months, he can damned well have and do whatever he wants. :)

    --
    Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are not
    conformists. How could they be, with a cat running their lives?
    --Dr. Louis J. Camuti
     
    Mara, Aug 19, 2007
    #16
  17. Mara wrote:
    > On Sat, 18 Aug 2007 20:26:19 -0500, The Old Sourdough <> wrote:
    >
    >> On 2007-08-17, in 24hoursupport.helpdesk, Mara waxed eloquently:

    >
    > <snip>
    >>> Just get off the damned phone once in awhile. My cat's been trying to call your
    >>> cat for weeks now.
    >>>

    >> You better watch giving those cats phone privileges. My damn' tomcat ran up
    >> a $954.00 phone bill calling 1-900-HOT-CHIX. I guess he thought it was some
    >> kind of fried chicken hot line.

    >
    > I'm actually not kidding about the phoning part. Freddie, who is blind, (among
    > other horrendous problems that are mostly fixed now) has learned that if he
    > steps on the speaker button on the desk phone and then on the redial button,
    > which are totally separate, he's got my attention *immediately,* since the only
    > time he does this is when I'm at my main computer, which is right beside it. So,
    > I taught him to turn the speaker back off on command. The command is, of course,
    > "get off the phone, someone else might want to use it for a change."
    >
    > I still have to hang up for him once in awhile, the brat. I swear he's on the
    > phone more than the town gossip.
    >
    > The little shit has also been known to erase the caller-ID and answering machine
    > too. But hey, I don't care. If he could survive what he's been through in the
    > past 6 months, he can damned well have and do whatever he wants. :)


    Piper wanted to tell Freddie:
    tyytttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyytttttttttttttttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

    P. S. tytttyyyyyyyyytttttttttttt
     
    =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=, Aug 20, 2007
    #17
  18. =?ISO-8859-1?Q?R=F4g=EAr?=

    Mara Guest

    On Mon, 20 Aug 2007 02:31:33 -0400, Rôgêr <> wrote:

    >Mara wrote:
    >> On Sat, 18 Aug 2007 20:26:19 -0500, The Old Sourdough <> wrote:
    >>
    >>> On 2007-08-17, in 24hoursupport.helpdesk, Mara waxed eloquently:

    >>
    >> <snip>
    >>>> Just get off the damned phone once in awhile. My cat's been trying to call your
    >>>> cat for weeks now.
    >>>>
    >>> You better watch giving those cats phone privileges. My damn' tomcat ran up
    >>> a $954.00 phone bill calling 1-900-HOT-CHIX. I guess he thought it was some
    >>> kind of fried chicken hot line.

    >>
    >> I'm actually not kidding about the phoning part. Freddie, who is blind, (among
    >> other horrendous problems that are mostly fixed now) has learned that if he
    >> steps on the speaker button on the desk phone and then on the redial button,
    >> which are totally separate, he's got my attention *immediately,* since the only
    >> time he does this is when I'm at my main computer, which is right beside it. So,
    >> I taught him to turn the speaker back off on command. The command is, of course,
    >> "get off the phone, someone else might want to use it for a change."
    >>
    >> I still have to hang up for him once in awhile, the brat. I swear he's on the
    >> phone more than the town gossip.
    >>
    >> The little shit has also been known to erase the caller-ID and answering machine
    >> too. But hey, I don't care. If he could survive what he's been through in the
    >> past 6 months, he can damned well have and do whatever he wants. :)

    >
    >Piper wanted to tell Freddie:
    >tyytttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyytttttttttttttttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
    >
    >P. S. tytttyyyyyyyyytttttttttttt


    Freddie replies:

    iiiiiiiiijjjjjjjjjjiiirrrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzzzzsssssssssssssssss

    I need a code breaker.

    --
    "When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth
    and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for
    a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall -
    Think of it, ALWAYS." --Mahatma Gandhi
     
    Mara, Aug 20, 2007
    #18
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