Holy Christ that was long

Discussion in 'DVD Video' started by Steve Hanson, Dec 18, 2003.

  1. Steve Hanson

    Steve Hanson Guest

    Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    (or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    there.
     
    Steve Hanson, Dec 18, 2003
    #1
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  2. Steve Hanson

    Ken Cobb Guest

    On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 01:55:18 GMT, Steve Hanson <>
    wrote:

    >Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    >the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    >hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    >could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    >footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    >(or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    >example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    >there.


    It was long, the way he almost ended it a few times made it seem a
    little dragged, but I still loved it. IMHO, you can't drop Eowyn from
    the film, she is one of the important parts of the story. Like I said,
    that is just my opinion. Perhaps the segment at the start about Gollum
    getting the ring could have been cut (but in the EE for sure), but
    there wasn't a lot of stuff that could be cut and have the film still
    make sense to someone who never read the book.

    Ken
     
    Ken Cobb, Dec 18, 2003
    #2
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  3. Steve Hanson wrote:
    > Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    > the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    > hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    > could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    > footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    > (or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    > example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    > there.


    You demon. The ending was too hasty!

    --
    "Get rid of the Range Rover. You are not responsible for patrolling
    Australia's Dingo Barrier Fence, nor do you work the Savannah, capturing
    and tagging wildebeests."
    --Michael J. Nelson

    Grand Inquisitor
    http://www.dvdprofiler.com/mycollection.asp?alias=Oost
     
    Grand Inquisitor, Dec 18, 2003
    #3
  4. Steve Hanson

    Codswallop Guest

    On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 01:55:18 GMT, Steve Hanson wrote in alt.video.dvd:

    > Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    > the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    > hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long."


    The book had a few chapters after the climax as well. IMO it was a nice
    way to round out the story. I'm a bit disappointed it's not longer
    actually (because the 'Scouring' was removed).

    --
    - Cods


    (un ROT-13 to email)
     
    Codswallop, Dec 18, 2003
    #4
  5. Steve Hanson

    Mark B. Guest

    Re: Holy Christ that was long - not long enough!

    "Steve Hanson" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    > the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    > hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    > could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    > footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    > (or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    > example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    > there.


    I'm really looking forward to the extended version. Don't you people look
    at movie run times before going?

    Mark
     
    Mark B., Dec 18, 2003
    #5
  6. Steve Hanson

    Steve Hanson Guest

    Ken Cobb wrote in <>:

    >On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 01:55:18 GMT, Steve Hanson <>
    >wrote:
    >
    >>Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    >>the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    >>hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    >>could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    >>footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    >>(or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    >>example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    >>there.

    >
    >It was long, the way he almost ended it a few times made it seem a
    >little dragged, but I still loved it. IMHO, you can't drop Eowyn from
    >the film, she is one of the important parts of the story. Like I said,


    No she isn't. She just provides yet another opportunity for someone
    to kneel over someone else and then that fucking theme music crowds
    in. Her pining for Aragorn, her medieval feminism, her disturbing
    relationship with her father are all incidental to the main theme of
    power corruption. Utterly and totally pointless to have her there.
    And what is the payoff? Aragorn says he doesn't love her. I felt
    like I was watching an episode of Degrassi Junior High.

    God *damn*, this movie made Matrix Revolutions seem tight.
     
    Steve Hanson, Dec 18, 2003
    #6
  7. Steve Hanson

    Steve Hanson Guest

    Codswallop wrote in <Xns94559EA70C4A0codswallopcom@139.132.1.4>:

    >On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 01:55:18 GMT, Steve Hanson wrote in alt.video.dvd:
    >
    >> Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    >> the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    >> hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long."

    >
    >The book had a few chapters after the climax as well. IMO it was a nice
    >way to round out the story. I'm a bit disappointed it's not longer
    >actually (because the 'Scouring' was removed).


    It really seems impossible to snake underneath the low standards of
    Tolkien fans.
     
    Steve Hanson, Dec 18, 2003
    #7
  8. Steve Hanson

    Justin Guest

    Steve Hanson wrote on [Thu, 18 Dec 2003 15:59:51 GMT]:
    > Ken Cobb wrote in <>:
    >
    >>On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 01:55:18 GMT, Steve Hanson <>
    >>wrote:
    >>
    >>>Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    >>>the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    >>>hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    >>>could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    >>>footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    >>>(or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    >>>example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    >>>there.

    >>
    >>It was long, the way he almost ended it a few times made it seem a
    >>little dragged, but I still loved it. IMHO, you can't drop Eowyn from
    >>the film, she is one of the important parts of the story. Like I said,

    >
    > No she isn't. She just provides yet another opportunity for someone
    > to kneel over someone else and then that fucking theme music crowds
    > in. Her pining for Aragorn, her medieval feminism, her disturbing
    > relationship with her father are all incidental to the main theme of
    > power corruption. Utterly and totally pointless to have her there.
    > And what is the payoff? Aragorn says he doesn't love her. I felt
    > like I was watching an episode of Degrassi Junior High.


    So. You didn't actually watch the movie then. Theoden isn't her father,
    he's her uncle.

    She also killed the leader of the Nazgul.

    The movie missed several other key points.
     
    Justin, Dec 18, 2003
    #8
  9. Steve Hanson

    jayembee Guest

    Re: Holy Christ that was long - not long enough!

    "Mark B." <> wrote:

    > "Steve Hanson" <> wrote:
    >>
    >> Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting
    >> bedsores during the five or six endings Jackson tacked
    >> on. Three and a half fucking hours. Even my Tolkien-loving
    >> girlfriend said, "Way too long."

    >
    > I'm really looking forward to the extended version. Don't
    > you people look at movie run times before going?


    I'm gonna guess that Steve and his girlfriend have never
    seen LAWRENCE OF ARABIA in a theater.

    -- jayembee
     
    jayembee, Dec 18, 2003
    #9
  10. Steve Hanson

    Oblivion Guest

    If I wanted a thoughtless, worthless movie review, I'd go to
    alt.thoughtless,worthless.movie.reviews. Please confine your moronic
    posts to DVD material. Or better yet, don't post.

    On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 01:55:18 GMT, Steve Hanson <>
    wrotD:

    >Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    >the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    >hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    >could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    >footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    >(or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    >example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    >there.
     
    Oblivion, Dec 18, 2003
    #10
  11. Steve Hanson

    Invid Fan Guest

    Re: Holy Christ that was long - not long enough!

    In article <>, jayembee
    <> wrote:

    > "Mark B." <> wrote:
    >
    > > "Steve Hanson" <> wrote:
    > >>
    > >> Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting
    > >> bedsores during the five or six endings Jackson tacked
    > >> on. Three and a half fucking hours. Even my Tolkien-loving
    > >> girlfriend said, "Way too long."

    > >
    > > I'm really looking forward to the extended version. Don't
    > > you people look at movie run times before going?

    >
    > I'm gonna guess that Steve and his girlfriend have never
    > seen LAWRENCE OF ARABIA in a theater.
    >

    Well, to be fair they don't offer intermissions anymore.

    --
    Chris Mack "Refugee, total shit. That's how I've always seen us.
    'Invid Fan' Not a help, you'll admit, to agreement between us."
    -'Deal/No Deal', CHESS
     
    Invid Fan, Dec 18, 2003
    #11
  12. Re: Holy Christ that was long - not long enough!

    jayembee wrote:
    > "Mark B." <> wrote:
    >> "Steve Hanson" <> wrote:


    >>> Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores...Three
    >>> and a half fucking hours.

    >>
    >> I'm really looking forward to the extended version. Don't you people
    >> look at movie run times before going?

    >
    > I'm gonna guess that Steve and his girlfriend have never seen LAWRENCE OF
    > ARABIA in a theater.


    Yes, but at least _Return of the King_ doesn't make you *thirsty*...

    (Watching the vicariously-parched audience running for the water-fountain
    or the drinks counter at the _Lawrence_ interval is one of the pleasures of
    seeing the film in a cinema.)

    doug

    --

    ---------------Douglas Bailey ()---------------
    Every shining bonnet makes me think of my back on it...
    --Elastica
     
    Douglas Bailey, Dec 18, 2003
    #12
  13. Steve Hanson

    DanRydell Guest

    Re: Holy Christ that was long - not long enough!

    "Mark B." <> wrote in message news:<>...
    > "Steve Hanson" <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    > > Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    > > the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    > > hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    > > could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    > > footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    > > (or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    > > example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    > > there.

    >
    > I'm really looking forward to the extended version. Don't you people look
    > at movie run times before going?
    >
    > Mark



    Yeah, it's not like the ticket price drops by 30% if the movie is an
    hour shorter. You're getting more bang for your buck: enjoy it!!!
     
    DanRydell, Dec 18, 2003
    #13
  14. Steve Hanson

    Mark Spatny Guest

    Steve Hanson, says...
    > Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    > the five or six endings Jackson tacked on.


    Your opinions would have more merit if you didn't have such an obvious
    anti-Tolien axe to grind. Look, you knew going in you didn't like the
    material, and you knew how long the runtime was. So don't come here and
    whine about how you didn't like the movie. What else would you expect?

    If my wife drags me to some chick flick like Bridges of Madison County,
    I know walking in the door I'm not going to enjoy it. Yet I don't feel
    the need to go to a newsgroup and whine about it all like anyone cares,
    or start making pomous remarks about the director, as if I could do any
    better. So please, give it a rest.
     
    Mark Spatny, Dec 18, 2003
    #14
  15. Steve Hanson

    Steve Hanson Guest

    Justin wrote in <2go.com>:

    >Steve Hanson wrote on [Thu, 18 Dec 2003 15:59:51 GMT]:
    >> Ken Cobb wrote in <>:
    >>
    >>>On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 01:55:18 GMT, Steve Hanson <>
    >>>wrote:
    >>>
    >>>>Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    >>>>the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    >>>>hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    >>>>could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    >>>>footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    >>>>(or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    >>>>example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    >>>>there.
    >>>
    >>>It was long, the way he almost ended it a few times made it seem a
    >>>little dragged, but I still loved it. IMHO, you can't drop Eowyn from
    >>>the film, she is one of the important parts of the story. Like I said,

    >>
    >> No she isn't. She just provides yet another opportunity for someone
    >> to kneel over someone else and then that fucking theme music crowds
    >> in. Her pining for Aragorn, her medieval feminism, her disturbing
    >> relationship with her father are all incidental to the main theme of
    >> power corruption. Utterly and totally pointless to have her there.
    >> And what is the payoff? Aragorn says he doesn't love her. I felt
    >> like I was watching an episode of Degrassi Junior High.

    >
    >So. You didn't actually watch the movie then. Theoden isn't her father,
    >he's her uncle.


    Oh, well that makes her character totally relevant to the ring quest,
    then.

    Fuckwit.
     
    Steve Hanson, Dec 18, 2003
    #15
  16. Steve Hanson

    Steve Hanson Guest

    Mark Spatny wrote in
    <>:

    >Steve Hanson, says...
    >> Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    >> the five or six endings Jackson tacked on.

    >
    >Your opinions would have more merit if you didn't have such an obvious
    >anti-Tolien axe to grind. Look, you knew going in you didn't like the


    Wait, opinions have merit based on...on...contrary opinions of the
    opinion-holder? If I liked Tolkien my dislike of Tolkien would make
    more sense or have more "merit"? If your blather has any literal
    meaning I'm curious what it might be. You seem to inhabit a very
    confused universe.

    I was dragged there by the ball and chain. I posted my reaction.
    Stop your fucking whining and post alternate views if you can't go
    five minutes without hearing praise of a LOTR flick. If you are just
    going to sit there and act wounded you're wasting even more bandwidth
    than I am.
     
    Steve Hanson, Dec 18, 2003
    #16
  17. Steve Hanson

    Justin Guest

    Steve Hanson wrote on [Thu, 18 Dec 2003 20:32:28 GMT]:
    > Justin wrote in <2go.com>:
    >
    >>Steve Hanson wrote on [Thu, 18 Dec 2003 15:59:51 GMT]:
    >>> Ken Cobb wrote in <>:
    >>>
    >>>>On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 01:55:18 GMT, Steve Hanson <>
    >>>>wrote:
    >>>>
    >>>>>Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    >>>>>the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    >>>>>hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    >>>>>could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    >>>>>footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    >>>>>(or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    >>>>>example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    >>>>>there.
    >>>>
    >>>>It was long, the way he almost ended it a few times made it seem a
    >>>>little dragged, but I still loved it. IMHO, you can't drop Eowyn from
    >>>>the film, she is one of the important parts of the story. Like I said,
    >>>
    >>> No she isn't. She just provides yet another opportunity for someone
    >>> to kneel over someone else and then that fucking theme music crowds
    >>> in. Her pining for Aragorn, her medieval feminism, her disturbing
    >>> relationship with her father are all incidental to the main theme of
    >>> power corruption. Utterly and totally pointless to have her there.
    >>> And what is the payoff? Aragorn says he doesn't love her. I felt
    >>> like I was watching an episode of Degrassi Junior High.

    >>
    >>So. You didn't actually watch the movie then. Theoden isn't her father,
    >>he's her uncle.

    >
    > Oh, well that makes her character totally relevant to the ring quest,
    > then.
    >
    > Fuckwit.


    No, dipshit, the fact that she killed the head bad guy on the
    battlefield makes her relevant.
     
    Justin, Dec 18, 2003
    #17
  18. Steve Hanson wrote:
    >
    > Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    > the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    > hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    > could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    > footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    > (or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    > example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    > there.


    A friend of mine told me today that the additional endings were AFTER
    the credits. Were they? I watched until the credits started rolling
    then left.

    LVIII
     
    Lord Vader III, Dec 18, 2003
    #18
  19. Steve Hanson

    Justin Guest

    Lord Vader III wrote on [18 Dec 2003 16:24:28 -0600]:
    > Steve Hanson wrote:
    >>
    >> Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting bedsores during
    >> the five or six endings Jackson tacked on. Three and a half fucking
    >> hours. Even my Tolkien-loving girlfriend said, "Way too long." It
    >> could have easily been cut down to two by jettisoning extraneous
    >> footage and characters and with some judicious scene-trimming. Eorwyn
    >> (or whatever her name was--I call her "buttface") was an excellent
    >> example of someone who didn't need to be there. 15 minutes right
    >> there.

    >
    > A friend of mine told me today that the additional endings were AFTER
    > the credits. Were they? I watched until the credits started rolling
    > then left.


    no
     
    Justin, Dec 19, 2003
    #19
  20. Steve Hanson

    Joshua Zyber Guest

    Re: Holy Christ that was long - not long enough!

    "jayembee" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > >> Return of the King--I was almost worried about getting
    > >> bedsores during the five or six endings Jackson tacked
    > >> on. Three and a half fucking hours. Even my Tolkien-loving
    > >> girlfriend said, "Way too long."

    > >
    > > I'm really looking forward to the extended version. Don't
    > > you people look at movie run times before going?

    >
    > I'm gonna guess that Steve and his girlfriend have never
    > seen LAWRENCE OF ARABIA in a theater.


    I'm going to guess that Steve's "girlfriend" is his left hand.
     
    Joshua Zyber, Dec 19, 2003
    #20
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