goldfish

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by slumpy [still not posting from @shaw.ca], May 21, 2004.

  1. Two builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough
    pub (near catford) when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on
    a stool at the bar.
    The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
    Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
    Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
    Phil: - He ain't a stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
    The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the
    better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees
    that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get
    the better of the builder.
    Phil: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering
    what you do for a living?
    Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
    Phil: - Oh! What's that then?
    Suit: - I'll try to explain by example.... Do you have a goldfish at home?
    Phil: - Er... mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!
    Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
    pond. Which is it?
    Phil: - It's in a pond!
    Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
    then?
    Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
    Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a
    large garden then you have a large house?
    Phil: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house...built it myself!
    Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to
    assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite
    probably married?
    Phil: - Yes I am married; I live with my wife and three children.
    Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with
    your wife on a regular basis?
    Phil: - Yep! Four nights a week!
    Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very
    often?
    Phil: - Me? Never!
    Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
    Phil: - How's that then?
    Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about
    your sex life!
    Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
    Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
    Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
    Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
    Eric: - What's that then?
    Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
    Eric: - Nope!
    Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.
    --
    slumpy
    no more
    no less
    just me
    (cheap at twice the price...)
    slumpy [still not posting from @shaw.ca], May 21, 2004
    #1
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  2. slumpy [still not posting from @shaw.ca]

    ImhoTech Guest

    "slumpy [still not posting from @shaw.ca]" <> wrote in
    message news:...
    >
    >


    8.5

    Its only weakness is in difficulty retelling without cut&paste. (perfer
    one-liners)
    ImhoTech, May 21, 2004
    #2
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  3. slumpy [still not posting from @shaw.ca]

    Avenger© Guest

    On Fri, 21 May 2004 21:03:01 +0100, "slumpy [still not posting from
    @shaw.ca]" <> wrote:

    >
    >
    >Two builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough



    :eek:)))
    --
    Avenger©

    "Put the CAT out to reply"
    *I DETEST Spam - A Spam Hater since 1951*
    Avenger©, May 21, 2004
    #3
  4. ....and seconds before the explosion, ImhoTech emerged from the bunker
    carrying the last chicken tikka masala humanity would ever see, crying:

    > "slumpy [still not posting from @shaw.ca]" <> wrote in
    > message news:...
    >>
    >>

    >
    > 8.5
    >
    > Its only weakness is in difficulty retelling without cut&paste.
    > (perfer one-liners)


    Me too, but the punchline was unexpected and therefore had a certain comedic
    value that couldn't be passed up.

    Better than the forwarded email, which cut the last three words off the last
    line, totally killing the joke dead.
    --
    slumpy
    no more
    no less
    just me
    (cheap at twice the price...)
    slumpy [still not posting from @shaw.ca], May 22, 2004
    #4
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