GIGLI: No Extras!

Discussion in 'DVD Video' started by Scot Gardner, Dec 18, 2003.

  1. Scot Gardner

    Scot Gardner Guest

    It's pronounced Gigli. It rhymes with really.

    Of course the theatrical presentation of the movie was total crap. So is
    the DVD. As everyone knows, Ben Affleck can't act and his imitation
    accents are laughable. Jennifer Lopez is awful in the movie as well and
    I knew all of this going in.

    However, I rented _Gigli_ from Netflix just to see how bad a really bad
    movie can be, and _Gigli_ is no slouch in that department. _Gigli_ has
    a sustained awfulness that is hard to describe. The music stinks, the
    script sucks and the movie is terrible beyond belief. Unfortunately, it
    is not bad enough to become a cult classic.

    My complaint is that Columbia has included no extras! No deleted scenes.
    No "making of" featurettes. No nothing!

    Columbia should have done something to give the DVD enhanced value.
    Scot Gardner, Dec 18, 2003
    #1
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  2. >It's pronounced Gigli. It rhymes with really.
    >
    >Of course the theatrical presentation of the movie was total crap. So is
    >the DVD. As everyone knows, Ben Affleck can't act and his imitation
    >accents are laughable. Jennifer Lopez is awful in the movie as well and
    >I knew all of this going in.
    >
    >However, I rented _Gigli_ from Netflix just to see how bad a really bad
    >movie can be, and _Gigli_ is no slouch in that department. _Gigli_ has
    >a sustained awfulness that is hard to describe. The music stinks, the
    >script sucks and the movie is terrible beyond belief. Unfortunately, it
    >is not bad enough to become a cult classic.
    >
    >My complaint is that Columbia has included no extras! No deleted scenes.
    >No "making of" featurettes. No nothing!
    >
    >Columbia should have done something to give the DVD enhanced value.


    Like DTS?

    Remove "moc" to reply.

    When toy shopping, look for the Joe Mantegna Seal Of Safety. It's your only
    guarantee that the toy has been deemed safe by Joe Mantegna.
    Sydney Assbasket, Dec 18, 2003
    #2
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  3. Scot Gardner

    Eric R. Guest

    "Scot Gardner" <> wrote in message

    > Columbia should have done something to give the DVD enhanced value.


    I might have actually rented it just to hear a commentary track.
    Though, admittedly, it probably would have been pretty short:

    Martin Brest: [sobbing] I'm sorry. God, I'm soooo sorry! [sound of
    gunshot]

    -Eric
    Eric R., Dec 18, 2003
    #3
  4. Scot Gardner

    Scot Gardner Guest

    "Sydney Assbasket " <> wrote in message
    news:...
    >Columbia should have done something to give the DVD enhanced value.


    <<Like DTS?>>


    Now there's something that ties into all of the posts regarding wasteful
    dual-screen format disks. _Gigli_ has a widescreen 16:9 enhanced version
    as well as a 4:3 "fullscreen" version. As a result, there was no room
    for a DTS soundtrack.

    Instead of giving the DVD buyer valuable extras, Columbia has tied up
    half of the _Gigli_ disk capacity with a bastardized, narrowscreen
    version of the movie.

    If Columbia were really interested in recovering its _Gigli_ losses with
    the DVD, they should have included some interesting special features:

    A 30 minute Jennifer Lopez naked workout video, with special
    emphasis on her huge pooper.

    30 minutes of deleted scenes. (It's difficult to imagine how these
    scenes could possibly be worse than the scenes already included in
    the movie.)

    A 20 minute featurette covering the star-studded _Gigli_ theatrical
    premier.

    A 40 minute making-of _Gigli_ video including at least three
    Jennifer Lopez temper tantrums.

    (The blooper reel is already included in the movie.)

    All of these supplemental features would have gone a long way toward
    making the _Gigli_ DVD a holiday hit.
    Scot Gardner, Dec 18, 2003
    #4
  5. Eric R. wrote:

    > I might have actually rented it just to hear a commentary track.
    > Though, admittedly, it probably would have been pretty short:
    >
    > William Shatner: [sobbing] I'm sorry. God, I'm soooo sorry! [sound of
    > gunshot]


    ....Oops, sorry, got that mixed up with the "Star Trek V commentary"
    joke! ;p

    Derek Janssen (the ship sinks)
    Derek Janssen, Dec 18, 2003
    #5
  6. Scot Gardner

    Mike Jackson Guest

    No extras for "Gigli"? I'm shocked, shocked! About as shocked as when "Cabin
    Boy" was released without any extra features!

    Mike Jackson
    Editor & Web Developer, DVD Verdict
    www.dvdverdict.com
    Mike Jackson, Dec 18, 2003
    #6
  7. Scot Gardner

    Jay Stewart Guest

    "Mike Jackson" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > No extras for "Gigli"? I'm shocked, shocked! About as shocked as when

    "Cabin
    > Boy" was released without any extra features!
    >
    > Mike Jackson
    > Editor & Web Developer, DVD Verdict
    > www.dvdverdict.com
    >


    Perhaps the folks at Criterion will pick up on these glaring oversights.
    Jay Stewart, Dec 19, 2003
    #7
  8. Scot Gardner

    Jay Stewart Guest

    "Derek Janssen" <> wrote in message
    news:3fe25762$0$4740$...
    > Jay Stewart wrote:
    > > "Mike Jackson" <> wrote in message
    > > news:...
    > >
    > >>No extras for "Gigli"? I'm shocked, shocked! About as shocked as when

    > >
    > > "Cabin
    > >
    > >>Boy" was released without any extra features!
    > >>

    > > Perhaps the folks at Criterion will pick up on these glaring oversights.

    >
    > <double-checks Overused Gag list>
    > Okayyy, let's see:
    >
    > - "'I'm so sorry' commentary" gag...Check
    > - "Criterion" gag...Check
    > - "Oscar-winning classic of cinema" gag...check
    > - "Two--"...Hey, what happened to the "Two-disk special edition with
    > extras and documentary" gag??--Oh, no, wait, sorry, I see it, those were
    > back when it was first announbced, never mind...Check on that one.
    >


    Hey, lighten up, dude! I had my tongue firmly planted in cheek on previous
    post. Last thing I want to see is extras from Gigli or Cabin Boy.
    Jay Stewart, Dec 19, 2003
    #8
  9. Scot Gardner

    Invid Fan Guest

    In article <3fe25762$0$4740$>, Derek Janssen
    <> wrote:

    > Jay Stewart wrote:
    > > "Mike Jackson" <> wrote in message
    > > news:...
    > >
    > >>No extras for "Gigli"? I'm shocked, shocked! About as shocked as when

    > >
    > > "Cabin
    > >
    > >>Boy" was released without any extra features!
    > >>

    > > Perhaps the folks at Criterion will pick up on these glaring oversights.

    >
    > <double-checks Overused Gag list>
    > Okayyy, let's see:
    >
    > - "'I'm so sorry' commentary" gag...Check
    > - "Criterion" gag...Check
    > - "Oscar-winning classic of cinema" gag...check
    > - "Two--"...Hey, what happened to the "Two-disk special edition with
    > extras and documentary" gag??--Oh, no, wait, sorry, I see it, those were
    > back when it was first announbced, never mind...Check on that one.
    >

    And your post finished the list! Well done, group!

    --
    Chris Mack "Refugee, total shit. That's how I've always seen us.
    'Invid Fan' Not a help, you'll admit, to agreement between us."
    -'Deal/No Deal', CHESS
    Invid Fan, Dec 19, 2003
    #9
  10. Jay Stewart wrote:
    > "Mike Jackson" <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    >
    >>No extras for "Gigli"? I'm shocked, shocked! About as shocked as when

    >
    > "Cabin
    >
    >>Boy" was released without any extra features!
    >>

    > Perhaps the folks at Criterion will pick up on these glaring oversights.


    <double-checks Overused Gag list>
    Okayyy, let's see:

    - "'I'm so sorry' commentary" gag...Check
    - "Criterion" gag...Check
    - "Oscar-winning classic of cinema" gag...check
    - "Two--"...Hey, what happened to the "Two-disk special edition with
    extras and documentary" gag??--Oh, no, wait, sorry, I see it, those were
    back when it was first announbced, never mind...Check on that one.

    Derek Janssen (gosh, this is fun every year!) :D
    Derek Janssen, Dec 19, 2003
    #10
  11. Scot Gardner

    Mike Jackson Guest

    > Hey, lighten up, dude! I had my tongue firmly planted in cheek on previous
    > post. Last thing I want to see is extras from Gigli or Cabin Boy.


    "Tell the captain we're out of margerine!"

    Mike Jackson
    Editor & Web Developer, DVD Verdict
    www.dvdverdict.com
    Mike Jackson, Dec 19, 2003
    #11
  12. Scot Gardner

    Shane Guest

    "Scot Gardner" <> wrote in message
    news:20031217221614.681$...
    > It's pronounced Gigli.


    Sure. And Benoit is pronounced Benoit or Ben-wha, take your pick.

    Not.
    Shane, Dec 19, 2003
    #12
  13. Scot Gardner

    Shane Guest

    "Scot Gardner" <> wrote in message
    news:20031217221614.681$...


    > Columbia should have done something to give the DVD enhanced value.


    "You can't polish a turd." - a quote from Christine, and one of my
    favorites.
    Shane, Dec 19, 2003
    #13
  14. Scot Gardner

    Zimmy Guest

    I know! Speak for yourself. I would love to have a SE of Cabin Boy.

    These pipes are clean!


    "Mike Jackson" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > > Hey, lighten up, dude! I had my tongue firmly planted in cheek on

    previous
    > > post. Last thing I want to see is extras from Gigli or Cabin Boy.

    >
    > "Tell the captain we're out of margerine!"
    >
    > Mike Jackson
    > Editor & Web Developer, DVD Verdict
    > www.dvdverdict.com
    >
    >
    Zimmy, Dec 19, 2003
    #14
  15. Scot Gardner

    Mike Jackson Guest

    > I know! Speak for yourself. I would love to have a SE of Cabin Boy.
    >
    > These pipes are clean!


    I can see it now...

    Cabin Boy: Little Spring Outfit Edition

    Mike Jackson
    Editor & Web Developer, DVD Verdict
    www.dvdverdict.com
    Mike Jackson, Dec 19, 2003
    #15
  16. Scot Gardner

    Scot Gardner Guest

    "Shane" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    >
    > "Scot Gardner" <> wrote in message
    > news:20031217221614.681$...
    >
    >
    > > Columbia should have done something to give the DVD
    > > enhanced value.

    >
    > "You can't polish a turd." - a quote from Christine, and one
    > of my favorites.



    _Gigli_ is BAD! Really, really BAD!

    I am totally amazed that a major studio allowed this piece of shit to be
    produced.

    And Christine is right. There's no way to shine shit.
    Scot Gardner, Dec 20, 2003
    #16
  17. >
    >Martin Brest: [sobbing] I'm sorry. God, I'm soooo sorry! [sound of
    >gunshot]


    My, how the mighty have fallen, eh?

    All the way from directing a good film like "Beverly Hills Cop" to directing a
    piece of turd like "Gigli."

    Then again, perhaps the director just took the job so he could get food on the
    table and just gave up on the cast and crew working on the movie since they
    couldn't do their jobs decently anyways. - Reinhart
    LASERandDVDfan, Dec 22, 2003
    #17
  18. >I am totally amazed that a major studio allowed this piece of shit to be
    >produced.
    >


    Hey, sometimes shit happens in the movie business! :p - Reinhart
    LASERandDVDfan, Dec 22, 2003
    #18
  19. Scot Gardner

    Eric R. Guest

    Derek Janssen <> wrote in message

    > <double-checks Overused Gag list>
    > Okayyy, let's see:
    >
    > - "'I'm so sorry' commentary" gag...Check
    > - "Criterion" gag...Check
    > - "Oscar-winning classic of cinema" gag...check


    Anal retentive dickhead who points out that topic has been covered before...check.

    -Eric
    Eric R., Dec 22, 2003
    #19
  20. Scot Gardner

    Eric R. Guest

    "Zimmy" <> wrote in message

    > I know! Speak for yourself. I would love to have a SE of Cabin Boy.


    Ditto. That movie is vastly underrated. I guess you just have to be a
    Chris Elliot fan to get it (or, maybe, a Ray Harryhausen or Tim Burton
    fan).

    -Eric
    Eric R., Dec 22, 2003
    #20
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