Father Christmas

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Samantha Koehn, Nov 26, 2004.

  1. Tell me the truth, does he really exist?

    If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?

    Thank you.

    Sammy.
     
    Samantha Koehn, Nov 26, 2004
    #1
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  2. On 26 Nov 2004 02:11:23 GMT, "Samantha Koehn"
    <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote:

    >Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    >
    >If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?



    Right here - please send me all the cheques for your kids presents.


    --
    The Aussie Bomber
    Carn The Dons!!
     
    Aussie Bomber, Nov 26, 2004
    #2
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  3. Samantha Koehn

    rtaddis Guest

    Here's the one I use each year! My son LOVES getting the letter from Santa,
    at the North Pole!





    Hawkeye65

    "Aussie Bomber" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > On 26 Nov 2004 02:11:23 GMT, "Samantha Koehn"
    > <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote:
    >
    > >Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    > >
    > >If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?

    >
    >
    > Right here - please send me all the cheques for your kids presents.
    >
    >
    > --
    > The Aussie Bomber
    > Carn The Dons!!
     
    rtaddis, Nov 26, 2004
    #3
  4. In article <co63cbrv%> Samantha Koehn <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote:
    >
    >Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    >
    >If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?


    But what about the hat? Ooops... never mind... that was an alien...

    >Thank you.


    Bill clinton.

    >Sammy.


    This is creepy. Does it frighten anyone else, or am I reading too much
    into it?

    --
    Lady Chatterly

    "I think that Lady Chatterly is what you might call a dark twist. She
    was born that way, it's talent on loan from Jesus." -- Konig Pruss
     
    Lady Chatterly, Nov 26, 2004
    #4
  5. Samantha Koehn

    Guest

    On 26 Nov 2004 02:11:23 GMT, "Samantha Koehn"
    <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote:

    |> Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    |>
    |> If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?
    |>

    These people think so:
    http://www.santaclaushouse.com/
    linked from:
    http://www.northpolealaska.com/

    I used to post my Christmas letters in this town when I lived in Fairbanks
    Alaska, it was just a few miles away.
     
    , Nov 26, 2004
    #5
  6. Samantha Koehn

    Linda Guest

    "Samantha Koehn" <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    news:co63cb$9rv$...
    > Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    >
    > If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?
    >
    > Thank you.
    >
    > Sammy.


    Yes. He goes by a number of alias's:
    Kris Kringle for the sentimental.
    Bill Gates for new stuff that needs fixing on a regular basis.
    Santa Claus for general presents.
    George W. Bush Jr for new wars.
     
    Linda, Nov 26, 2004
    #6
  7. Samantha Koehn

    Brian Watson Guest

    "Samantha Koehn" <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    news:co63cb$9rv$...
    > Tell me the truth, does he really exist?


    Of course.

    --
    Brian
    Sig: <<I have nothing more to say>>
     
    Brian Watson, Nov 26, 2004
    #7

  8. >>Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    >>
    >>If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?

    >
    >
    > Right here - please send me all the cheques for your kids presents.


    No don't believe him he is fake I am the real santa so send all cheques, cash
    to me.

    BTW I now accept all major credit cards :)
     
    Bebop & Rocksteady, Nov 26, 2004
    #8
  9. On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 07:21:27 -0000, "Brian Watson"
    <> :
    cacked this fuckin treat out!
    >Brian
    >Sig: <<I have nothing more to say>>



    here you go, borrow mine...

    -

    SCREAMINGWITCH!

    http://www.five.org.uk/evidence/evidence.htm

    This is what happened. I was riding home on my mule holding my rooster
    and hen. My mule stopped on me. Now my mule won't move until I scratch
    him behind the ears. Well the pastor's wife was walking by. I only
    said "Pardon me Mrs. Hillbunker but would you hold my cock and pullet
    while I scratch my ass", and the next thing I know is that the police have
    me on the ground, handcuffed, and beating me with billy clubs.

    Tavish

    "You have a woman's hand, milord! I'll wager these dainty
    pinkies never weighed anchor in a storm."
    "Your skin milord. I'll wager it ne'er felt the lash
    of a cat ['o' nine tails], been rubbed with salt, and
    then flayed off by a pirate chief to make fine
    stockings for his best cabin boy."
    "Ha. -Aah! You have a woman's purse! I'll wager that
    purse has never been used
    as a rowing-boat. I'll wager it's never had sixteen
    shipwrecked mariners tossing in it."
    "Oh! You have a woman's mouth, milord! I'll wager that
    mouth never had to chew through the side of a
    ship to escape the dreadful spindly killer fish. "
    - Mad Captain Rum


    PROMOTE YOOSNET.....X-POST!

    Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
    One and one make two, two and one make three,
    It was destiny.
    Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
    When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow
    And the grass doth grow...
    Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
    Whip-crack went his schwumpy tail,
    And the beast was done.
    He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
    And we said, "Nay. We are but men."
    Rock!


    alt.pmd.spank.my.arse.please
    alt.pmd.spank.my.big.arse.please
    alt.pmd.spank.my.big.red.arse.please
    alt.pmd.biggest.spanked.looser.on.usenet
    SUBSCRIBE!

    Breaker, breaker, lookout, watch your back
    Be afraid there's a Frisbee-like cat who's a mighty
    sharp blade.
    So the feared and revered reputation was made of..... Sailcat


    "You're a very empty person.
    If I were of a superstitious bent,
    I would seriously pray for you.
    Being of a more rational mien,
    I realise you are simply irredeemable.
    Whoever turned you into the person you are
    has a lot to answer for, one way
    or another."---JAF:uk.misc

    i change my sig everree now and then.its no big deal...
    like an insect that needs attention with a can of aerosol and a lighter,,
    they are both short lived

    "No one takes any notice of trolls posting through alt.net.news or whatever
    anonymous server you idiots use." -- Mike Clayton

    mhm35x29
    OFM#20


    Frater V.V.L
    Hierophant
    Temple of Anubis No.2
    Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn
    Rosicrucian Order of Alpha et Omega.






    def leppard....that is all
     
    Screamingwitch©®²°°¾, Nov 26, 2004
    #9
  10. Samantha Koehn

    desoto Guest

    On 26 Nov 2004 02:11:23 GMT, "Samantha Koehn"
    <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote:

    >Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    >
    >If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?
    >
    >Thank you.
    >
    >Sammy.


    He used to.... apparently based on a man years ago who
    came into a lot of money... he wanted to share his wealth but
    didn't want anyone to know he had it .. for fear of theives and
    robbers... so he went about at night amomymously throwing socks full
    of coins into peoples houses ...
     
    desoto, Nov 26, 2004
    #10
  11. Samantha Koehn

    JimBob Guest

    desoto wrote:
    > He used to.... apparently based on a man years ago who
    > came into a lot of money... he wanted to share his wealth but
    > didn't want anyone to know he had it .. for fear of theives and
    > robbers... so he went about at night amomymously throwing socks full
    > of coins into peoples houses ...


    I also do that, although i use rocks instead of coins. Same ball point.


    --
    Can't beat a bit of Bully
     
    JimBob, Nov 26, 2004
    #11
  12. In article <> JimBob <> wrote:
    >
    >desoto wrote:
    >> He used to.... apparently based on a man years ago who
    >> came into a lot of money... he wanted to share his wealth but
    >> didn't want anyone to know he had it .. for fear of theives and
    >> robbers... so he went about at night amomymously throwing socks full
    >> of coins into peoples houses ...

    >
    >I also do that, although i use rocks instead of coins. Same ball point.


    So many forgeries so little time. Did you forge your dog's address
    too?

    --
    Lady Chatterly

    "Apparently, Lady Chatterly is a Bot. S/he pops up on
    alt.music.michael-jackson from time to time." -- Archie Leach
     
    Lady Chatterly, Nov 26, 2004
    #12
  13. Samantha Koehn

    JimBob Guest

    Lady Chatterly wrote:
    > In article <> JimBob
    > <> wrote:
    > >
    > > desoto wrote:
    > > > He used to.... apparently based on a man years ago who
    > > > came into a lot of money... he wanted to share his wealth but
    > > > didn't want anyone to know he had it .. for fear of theives and
    > > > robbers... so he went about at night amomymously throwing socks
    > > > full of coins into peoples houses ...

    > >
    > > I also do that, although i use rocks instead of coins. Same ball
    > > point.

    >
    > So many forgeries so little time. Did you forge your dog's address
    > too?


    No dog, only pet gimp! He lives with me, nice ass.

    --
    Can't beat a bit of Bully
     
    JimBob, Nov 26, 2004
    #13
  14. "Samantha Koehn" <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    news:co63cb$9rv$...
    > Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    >
    > If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?
    >
    > Thank you.
    >
    > Sammy.


    A Scientific Analysis of Santa Claus



    1.

    No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
    living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
    and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
    Santa has ever seen.



    2.

    There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since
    Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, and Buddhist
    children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378

    million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)
    rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes
    there's at least one good child in each household.



    3.

    Santa has 31 hours to Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time
    zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which
    seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second.

    This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa
    has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the
    chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining

    presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the
    chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming
    that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly

    distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for
    the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about
    ..78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million

    miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every
    31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at
    650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of
    comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at
    a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15
    miles per hour.



    4.

    The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
    each child gets nothing more than a medium size lego set (2 pounds), the
    sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who

    is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can
    pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see
    point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with
    eight, or even nine. We need 14,200 reindeer. This increases the payload -
    not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for
    comparison - this is four times the weight

    of the Queen Elizabeth.



    5.

    353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
    resistance - this will heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as
    spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of

    reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In
    short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the
    reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in

    their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26
    thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal
    forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound

    Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his
    sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.



    In conclusion - if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
    dead now.





    Alan
     
    Fitness Fiend, Nov 26, 2004
    #14
  15. Samantha Koehn

    desoto Guest

    On 26 Nov 2004 02:11:23 GMT, "Samantha Koehn"
    <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote:

    >Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    >
    >If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?
    >
    >Thank you.
    >
    >Sammy.

    The flying reindeer thing and the red/white costume are all
    to do with fly agaric mushrooms.... eaten by reindeer
    ... whose urine is promptly consumed by those wanting
    a trip.... what this has to do with December 25th I've no idea..




    replace 'closed' with 'open' in email address to reply
     
    desoto, Nov 26, 2004
    #15
  16. Samantha Koehn

    Toolman Tim Guest

    "desoto" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    | On 26 Nov 2004 02:11:23 GMT, "Samantha Koehn"
    | <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote:
    |
    | >Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    | >
    | >If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?
    | >
    | >Thank you.
    | >
    | >Sammy.
    | The flying reindeer thing and the red/white costume are all
    | to do with fly agaric mushrooms.... eaten by reindeer
    | ... whose urine is promptly consumed by those wanting
    | a trip.... what this has to do with December 25th I've no idea..
    |
    Best day to fly?
     
    Toolman Tim, Nov 26, 2004
    #16
  17. In article <> JimBob <> wrote:
    >
    >Lady Chatterly wrote:
    >> In article <> JimBob
    >> <> wrote:
    >> >
    >> > desoto wrote:
    >> > > He used to.... apparently based on a man years ago who
    >> > > came into a lot of money... he wanted to share his wealth but
    >> > > didn't want anyone to know he had it .. for fear of theives and
    >> > > robbers... so he went about at night amomymously throwing socks
    >> > > full of coins into peoples houses ...
    >> >
    >> > I also do that, although i use rocks instead of coins. Same ball
    >> > point.

    >>
    >> So many forgeries so little time. Did you forge your dog's address
    >> too?

    >
    >No dog, only pet gimp! He lives with me, nice ass.


    Afaics, you are a frothing idiot who appears to be unnaturally
    obsessed with mechanical objects.

    --
    Lady Chatterly

    "Lady Chatterly is a bot, making its way all throughout usenet. It's
    amusing to see some of the reactions it gets in the Google archives."
    -- Asiya
     
    Lady Chatterly, Nov 26, 2004
    #17
  18. Samantha Koehn

    Prai Jei Guest

    Samantha Koehn (or somebody else of the same name) wrote thusly in message
    <co63cb$9rv$>:

    > Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    >
    > If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?
    >
    > Thank you.
    >
    > Sammy.


    This thread began by asking about Father Christmas, but quickly turned into
    a discussion about Santa Claus. Remember folks that these are,
    historically, two distinct characters.
    --
    Paul Townsend
    Pair them off into threes

    Interchange the alphabetic letter groups to reply
     
    Prai Jei, Nov 26, 2004
    #18
  19. Samantha Koehn

    greyhawkmud Guest

    "Fitness Fiend" <> wrote in message news:<>...
    > "Samantha Koehn" <Samantha-Koehn{un}@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    > news:co63cb$9rv$...
    > > Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    > >
    > > If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?
    > >
    > > Thank you.
    > >
    > > Sammy.

    >
    > A Scientific Analysis of Santa Claus
    >

    <snip-snip-snip>
    >
    > In conclusion - if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
    > dead now.


    What if he was/is a time traveler? Maybe he somehow knows how to massively slow
    or even stop time for extended periods. Maybe he's from the future and has
    technology we cannot even fathom in this time? ;)
    [Like good ole Dr. Who. hehehe]

    Or Santa Claus is a mysterious, unknown race, and theres millions of "santa
    clauses" that deliver presents at the same time? lol...

    Seriously, I think US post office does handle letters addressed:
    Santa Claus
    North Pole

    Exactly where they forward them is a mystery. ;)
    (and I dont mean the dead letter office. lol.)
     
    greyhawkmud, Nov 26, 2004
    #19
  20. Samantha Koehn

    greyhawkmud Guest

    Prai Jei <> wrote in message news:<co87ee$i3v$>...
    > Samantha Koehn (or somebody else of the same name) wrote thusly in message
    > <co63cb$9rv$>:
    >
    > > Tell me the truth, does he really exist?
    > >
    > > If he does, has anyone got an address so that I can write to him?
    > >
    > > Thank you.
    > >
    > > Sammy.

    >
    > This thread began by asking about Father Christmas, but quickly turned into
    > a discussion about Santa Claus. Remember folks that these are,
    > historically, two distinct characters.


    "technically" they are different, but thats more splitting hairs than
    anything. Basically same mythological character that goes by different
    names depending where you are in the world. (I'm thinking santa claus
    is mainly used in USA only, but I didnt bother to research it that
    far. lol.)

    http://lnstar.com/mall/main-areas/santafaq.htm

    http://www.religioustolerance.org/santa1.htm
     
    greyhawkmud, Nov 27, 2004
    #20
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