FAQ or Charter?

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Judy Evans, Feb 10, 2005.

  1. Judy Evans

    Judy Evans Guest

    Could someone point me to the FAQ or Charter of this newsgroup?

    Thanks very much.

    Judy.
    Judy Evans, Feb 10, 2005
    #1
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  2. Judy Evans

    Richard Guest

    On Thu, 10 Feb 2005 23:28:20 +0000 Judy Evans wrote:

    > Could someone point me to the FAQ or Charter of this newsgroup?


    > Thanks very much.


    > Judy.


    Which newsgroup are you asking about?
    Please do not ask for such items and then crosspost or use a follow-up.
    Richard, Feb 11, 2005
    #2
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  3. Judy Evans

    gangle Guest

    "Judy Evans" wrote
    > Could someone point me to the FAQ or Charter of this newsgroup?
    >
    > Thanks very much.


    Non-FAQ Redux:

    This newsgroup has little or no purpose,
    is not worth reading, and no one here has
    a clue about anything. But, if you insist on
    still reading it, here are some warnings
    as to what you can expect. See below
    for links to random web sites that
    should prove useless to everyone who
    isn't already a deranged fuckwit.

    First, this NG is not your ISP (Incredibly
    Stupid Place). No matter how screwed-up
    your ISP can be, this NG is always worse.
    This group is one of the thousands of
    poorly conceived newsgroups found on
    USENET (Unnecessary System Enabling
    Numbskulls Easy Transmissions). Since
    this is not the helpdesk of your ISP, no one
    knows your account number, password,
    bellybutton diameter, or if you are wearing
    dirty underpants on your head (which is common
    when posting to this NG). We (tinw) don't even
    know what day it is or why dogs don't mind
    licking their own asses. For this kind of information,
    do a web search or seduce a dog for the answers.

    While posting, don't eat HTML
    (Hot Tangy Meatballs and Linguini)
    or you're likely to mess-up your monitor
    and get red sauce stains all over the keyboard.
    Use plain text to post, if you can find any.
    (There's a plain text shortage in the world today,
    so good luck, you pitiful goomers.)

    DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPS. This makes
    you look like an illiterate hillbilly who SCREAMS a
    lot due to ear and brain damage from drinking
    too much toxic, home-made corn whiskey.
    Most people and some other species who
    post here have trouble forming complete
    sentences, spelling correctly, punctuating (especially
    with regard to semicolons), knowing when to capitalize
    letters and words, expressing coherent thoughts or
    understandale questions, and setting their time zones
    correctly. Therefore, if you are literate and respect logic,
    please try to dumb down your syntax and stifle your thought
    processes to ensure the low standards we have come to
    expect, enjoy, and reward -- such as bottom-posting "LOL" in
    response to a 300-line post of gerbil-level meanderings, or
    asking how to make your own newsgroup.

    Things that make no difference in this group:
    calling people filthy, repugnant names for no
    apparent reason; attaching business cards,
    animated gifs, or Lesbian videos to posts;
    testing...testing...testing; and advertising services
    or products -- *especially* penis-extension devices!
    Sure, a few pushy goody-two-shoes will
    threaten to turn you in to your ISP for doing these things.
    Just ignore such anal-retentive, chronic masturbators.
    Do whatever you want because USENET has no rules,
    and this NG has no charter, no FAQ, and discourages
    common decency in favor of the senseless, porcine
    ramblings of boorish, immature, drooling shitbrains.

    If you ask for advice in this NG, you are seriously
    confused and masochistic. The answers you
    get, if any, will either be inept or purposely
    slanted to cause damage to your computer so
    that you will eventually burst into tears of frustration
    and desperation. Ha...Ha...Ha......there's nothing
    funnier than a pathetic cry-baby newbie goomer
    who is gullible enough to ask to be savagely
    corn-holed by total strangers!


    NOW FOR THOSE USELESS LINKS
    I PROMISED YOU (SOME DON'T
    EVEN WORK!):

    http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/hil/hil-8026.html

    http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatures/pages/staypuff.html

    http://www.eskimo.com/~gburlin/restore/uncirc.txt

    http://www.xylemltd.com/

    http://www.expage.com/page/dagandnorb

    http://www.tractors2000.com/row-tractors/row-tractor.jpg

    http://www.oldhousechronicle.com/archives/vol01/issue04/projects/doorbell.html

    http://www.randomviolins.org/~dwap/academia/learn.htm

    http://www.oie.int/fr/maladies/fiches/f_A130.htm

    http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/223.cfm

    http://www.addasize.com/testimonials.html

    http://www.get-a-longer-penis.com/penislength/penisenhancement.htm

    --
    HowToFixComputers.com: Land of the Brain Dead
    gangle, Feb 11, 2005
    #3
  4. Judy Evans

    Plato Guest

    Judy Evans wrote:
    >
    > Could someone point me to the FAQ or Charter of this newsgroup?





    FAQ | 24hoursupport.helpdesk


    In regards to computer problems many participants find it very
    helpful if you supply a few facts about your system along with
    your question including:

    - MOST IMPORTANT is the Operating System [OS] you use for example
    Windows 95, 98, XP Home, XP Pro, Linux, MAC OS 9.X , etc.
    - Amount of RAM
    - Age of your PC [helps when dealing with Hard Drive install problems]


    AGAIN, MOST IMPORTANT IS THE OS THAT IS ON THE PROBLEM PC
    SECOND MOST IMPORTANT IS THE EXACT TEXT OF ANY ERROR MESSAGES


    GENERAL

    It's also a good idea to make sure your system is free of spyware
    and/or trojans and/or viruses before you ask a question. Many odd
    problems these days are simply caused by spyware so make sure you
    remove it first.


    ERROR MESSAGES

    If you are receiving an error message it really helps to post
    the [exact verbatim error message] but don't include "stack dump"
    or "register" numbers if the error message also includes them.

    For example, [filename.exe has caused a general protection fault
    in module nav32.exe] or [WINWORD caused an invalid page fault in
    module MSO97.DLL] can really help the volunteers in the Group
    identify your specific problem and suggest reasonable fixes.

    Often you have to press the "details" button to get better info.

    For Windows XP users experiencing BSODs and/or restarts and the
    error message disappears before you can read it try this:

    Use Control Panel | System | Advanced | Startup and Recovery
    Settings and untick the "Automatically Restart" item in the
    system failure section.

    This should lock the PC at the point the error message pops up
    and allow you to read it to get an angle on the problem.


    PERIPHERALS

    For peripheral problems like mice, printers, scanners, etc. it often
    helps to include details like how the device is connected e.g. USB,
    serial, LPT, etc. and if the device is "daisy chained" e.g. is the
    printer connected directly to the PC or is it connected to the back
    of your scanner. Or is it connected through a USB hub.


    SOFTWARE

    A great deal of software [not working, not installing] problems are
    due to incorrect installation and/or spyware running in the background.

    Some basic steps to do in advance of installing new software include:

    - Disable all background applications prior to installing any new
    software including your anti-virus program.
    - Remove all spyware
    - Double check your system for viruses with another program or with
    an online scanner.
    - Run scandisk and defrag

    It's also useful to post what specific software and version number
    is NOT working/installing on your PC. In other words, its not helpful
    to just say that your "Speech Recognition" software is not working
    unless you also provide the maker of such ware and the version #.


    SAVE YOURSELF SOME TIME AND FRUSTRATION

    Since many problems are very common the answer you want may have
    already been posted today so it pays to spend some time reviewing
    the Subject Lines to see if others have already asked the same
    question and have already been provided with some good answers.

    Please note that 24hoursupport.helpdesk is a text based Newsgroup,
    which means NO HTML, NO Attachments, No Pictures, and NO SPAM.
    Plato, Feb 11, 2005
    #4
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