Emergency Fried Turkey Safety Help

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Grandma Radcliffe, Nov 23, 2006.

  1. This is to: the 24hoursupport.helpdesk managers and staff

    This is about: Fried Turkey Safety Help Urgently Needed

    Referred by: My 800 technical support team, layer 3 (that's how they said
    to say it)


    Dear to whomever may be on duty at this time,

    Hello. I have developed a most urgent problem which may be a dangerous
    threat to property, human health, and human life, and I have 3 dogs, 6 cats,
    and 2 parrots. In the day no one "fried" the turkeys, we just baked them up
    for a while, then we stuffed them, then we baked them to temperature, then
    we plattered them up, then the man of the house carved them up, and then we
    served them up and then we ate them up, and then we put away the leftovers
    while the men were watching their football games, pulling each others
    fingers and farting and such as that between the screaming and yelling at
    the television like the guy with the ball can even hear them or would care
    how much money they bet on who or what the point spread was, and then we
    made some club sandwiches later to have with our beer and wine. Did you
    know sandwiches were named after a famous royal British landlord who didn't
    want to leave his card game gambling and asked the butler to put some meat
    between two slices of bread and bring his meal to be eaten while he was
    still gambling at his card game. So, the others at the card game named that
    meal a "sandwich" to pick on him, and it stuck forever. I always wondered
    why they didn't name it a "butler" because the butler is who did it.

    Anyway, not to wander off the problems on my hands, but my grandson has
    gone and purchased himself one of those harley chopper two wheeled motor
    bicycles, and some of his friends are planning to set up on the verandah and
    fry a 26 pound turkey, and they are trying to talk the rest of the family
    into frying theirs as well. Well, my goodness gracious, have you even ever
    heard of such a thing? It doesn't seem possible. In this modern day of
    microwaves who would even want that much grease around? Does it even matter
    that olestra gives you the diarrhea? And it certainly doesn't seem safe the
    way they have explained it to me. How would you even stuff it? And does it
    even go with cranberry sauce and gravy? And where would I find the
    drippings to even make the gravy?

    Please, please, please, somebody out there who has some sense about
    these things please write back so I can print out your letter and show these
    kids that other people do not go along with these crazy ideas. There must
    be some laws against this madness.

    Fried turkey and sweet potato pie? It does not even sound right. More
    like fried turkey and french fries and that is if the house does not burn
    down first. My oh my, next thing you know they will be putting up signs
    that say "soul food to go" and then wouldn't the neighbors be getting the
    wrong idea!

    Thank you for any assistance you may be able to provide with these most
    urgent problems.


    Sincerely
    yours,


    ~LSR~

    Lattie
    S. Radcliffe
    10551
    Old Homestead Road
    Pahrump,
    NV 89061-8705
    (702)
    387-0500
     
    Grandma Radcliffe, Nov 23, 2006
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. Grandma Radcliffe

    Frosty Guest

    On Thu, 23 Nov 2006 07:35:19 -0600 in 24hoursupport.helpdesk a thought
    sat on "Grandma Radcliffe" <nanny.radcliffe@myAOL&your.AOL>'s chest
    like a vulture, I said "Pluck It! And with the feather I'll tickle
    your throat and you can throw it up to me" Said he "I shall" & thus
    puked:
    >This is to: the 24hoursupport.helpdesk managers and staff
    >
    >This is about: Fried Turkey Safety Help Urgently Needed
    >
    >Referred by: My 800 technical support team, layer 3 (that's how they said
    >to say it)
    >
    >
    >Dear to whomever may be on duty at this time,
    >
    > Hello. I have developed a most urgent problem which may be a dangerous
    >threat to property, human health, and human life, and I have 3 dogs, 6 cats,
    >and 2 parrots. In the day


    "In the day?" Like "back in the day?"
    I HATE when people say that!

    Fill the pot all the way to the top with oil, and make sure you're
    cooking with a nice fat open flame. Get the oil really, really hot,
    than drop the bird in from a height so the grease splashes and
    overflows and so it can be set aflame. And be sure to do it in the
    house.
     
    Frosty, Nov 23, 2006
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Grandma Radcliffe

    Frosty Guest

    On Thu, 23 Nov 2006 07:35:19 -0600 in 24hoursupport.helpdesk a thought
    sat on "Grandma Radcliffe" <nanny.radcliffe@myAOL&your.AOL>'s chest
    like a vulture, I said "Pluck It! And with the feather I'll tickle
    your throat and you can throw it up to me" Said he "I shall" & thus
    puked:
    >This is to: the 24hoursupport.helpdesk managers and staff
    >
    >This is about: Fried Turkey Safety Help Urgently Needed
    >
    >Referred by: My 800 technical support team, layer 3 (that's how they said
    >to say it)
    >
    >
    >Dear to whomever may be on duty at this time,
    >

    <snip>
    >
    > Please, please, please, somebody out there who has some sense about
    >these things please write back so I can print out your letter


    This ain't email.
    Why oh why do users of Outhouse not understand this?
    >


    <snip>
    > Sincerely
    >yours,
    >
    >
    > ~LSR~
    >
    > Lattie
    >S. Radcliffe
    > 10551
    >Old Homestead Road
    > Pahrump,
    >NV 89061-8705
    > (702)
    >387-0500
    >
     
    Frosty, Nov 23, 2006
    #3
  4. Grandma Radcliffe

    Guest

    Frosty wrote:
    >
    > "In the day?" Like "back in the day?"
    > I HATE when people say that!


    Most people who are old, diseased, ugly, smelly, crusty and have no
    friends do! That's because even the evil ones remember when they were
    but innocent little children and were not falling victim to their own
    sins and evil ways. Jesus will always love you, even if he makes you
    burn in hell for all eternity for being an evil poopiehed to people.

    Happy Turkey Day to all, and to all a good shopping spree!
     
    , Nov 23, 2006
    #4
  5. Grandma Radcliffe

    Guest

    Frosty wrote:
    > On Thu, 23 Nov 2006 in 24hoursupport.helpdesk
    >
    > >This is to: the 24hoursupport.helpdesk managers and staff
    > >
    > >This is about: Fried Turkey Safety Help Urgently Needed
    > >
    > >Referred by: My 800 technical support team, layer 3 (that's how they said
    > >to say it)
    > >
    > >
    > >Dear to whomever may be on duty at this time,
    > >
    > > [exact details are shortened-up here, because of below]
    > >
    > > Please, please, please, somebody out there who has some sense about
    > >these things please write back so I can print out your letter

    >



    That's funny! There was a lady with exactly the same concerns earlier!
    D'oh, small world?

    Happy Thanksgiving! (The day USA celebrates it's independence from
    Canada!)
     
    , Nov 23, 2006
    #5
  6. Grandma Radcliffe

    Guest

    Grandma Radcliffe wrote:
    > This is to: the 24hoursupport.helpdesk managers and staff
    >
    > This is about: Fried Turkey Safety Help Urgently Needed
    >
    > Referred by: My 800 technical support team, layer 3 (that's how they said
    > to say it)
    >
    >
    > Dear to whomever may be on duty at this time,
    >
    > Hello. I have developed a most urgent problem which may be a dangerous
    > threat to property, human health, and human life, and I have 3 dogs, 6 cats,
    > and 2 parrots. In the day no one "fried" the turkeys, we just baked them up
    > for a while, then we stuffed them, then we baked them to temperature, then
    > we plattered them up, then the man of the house carved them up, and then we
    > served them up and then we ate them up, and then we put away the leftovers
    > while the men were watching their football games, pulling each others
    > fingers and farting and such as that between the screaming and yelling at
    > the television like the guy with the ball can even hear them or would care
    > how much money they bet on who or what the point spread was, and then we
    > made some club sandwiches later to have with our beer and wine. Did you
    > know sandwiches were named after a famous royal British landlord who didn't
    > want to leave his card game gambling and asked the butler to put some meat
    > between two slices of bread and bring his meal to be eaten while he was
    > still gambling at his card game. So, the others at the card game named that
    > meal a "sandwich" to pick on him, and it stuck forever. I always wondered
    > why they didn't name it a "butler" because the butler is who did it.
    >
    > Anyway, not to wander off the problems on my hands, but my grandson has
    > gone and purchased himself one of those harley chopper two wheeled motor
    > bicycles, and some of his friends are planning to set up on the verandah and
    > fry a 26 pound turkey, and they are trying to talk the rest of the family
    > into frying theirs as well. Well, my goodness gracious, have you even ever
    > heard of such a thing? It doesn't seem possible. In this modern day of
    > microwaves who would even want that much grease around? Does it even matter
    > that olestra gives you the diarrhea? And it certainly doesn't seem safe the
    > way they have explained it to me. How would you even stuff it? And does it
    > even go with cranberry sauce and gravy? And where would I find the
    > drippings to even make the gravy?
    >
    > Please, please, please, somebody out there who has some sense about
    > these things please write back so I can print out your letter and show these
    > kids that other people do not go along with these crazy ideas. There must
    > be some laws against this madness.
    >
    > Fried turkey and sweet potato pie? It does not even sound right. More
    > like fried turkey and french fries and that is if the house does not burn
    > down first. My oh my, next thing you know they will be putting up signs
    > that say "soul food to go" and then wouldn't the neighbors be getting the
    > wrong idea!
    >
    > Thank you for any assistance you may be able to provide with these most
    > urgent problems.



    I like the turkey sandwiches with a tall glass of cold milk! Be
    careful to fry, by making them go to the back yard in case of a grease
    fire or something spilleds.

    Happy Thanksgiving, when the rednecks are drunk and the turkeys are
    scared. Wouldn't it be neat if a football team was named for a wild
    bird, like Falcons, maybe Toledo Turkeys?
     
    , Nov 23, 2006
    #6
  7. Grandma Radcliffe

    Frosty Guest

    On 23 Nov 2006 07:32:26 -0800 in 24hoursupport.helpdesk a thought sat
    on 's chest like a vulture, I said "Pluck It!
    And with the feather I'll tickle your throat and you can throw it up
    to me" Said he "I shall" & thus puked:
    >
    >Frosty wrote:
    >>
    >> "In the day?" Like "back in the day?"
    >> I HATE when people say that!

    >
    >Most people who are old, diseased, ugly, smelly, crusty and have no
    >friends do! That's because even the evil ones remember when they were
    >but innocent little children and were not falling victim to their own
    >sins and evil ways. Jesus will always love you, even if he makes you
    >burn in hell for all eternity for being an evil poopiehed to people.


    Fart
    >
    >Happy Turkey Day to all, and to all a good shopping spree!
     
    Frosty, Nov 23, 2006
    #7
    1. Advertising

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